Fading...

I put the dress on, found a pair of flats and after a quick application of light makeup, I was off to the hospital, and terrified of what I'd find there.

The ride up the elevator left me nodding my head, and thinking that regardless of what I saw, I'd keep myself under control. I reasoned that I was still alive, that Carl was still alive, and that this all may still end well. I might wake up, and hopefully, I'll have remembered everything I did behind Steph's eyes. But walking into that room changed everything.

Carl looked like one of those scenes in a movie, electrodes, tubes, and monitors surrounded him, and I could see that while he was covered with a sheet, his left leg ended a bit above where his knee would have been. His face was swollen, and covered in cuts along the left side of his face, his left arm was in a huge cast that protruded out from his body with a kind of brace that held it at that awkward angle, and his fingers stuck out from the cast like extra-fat, discolored sausages. For all the control I had promised myself, the tears fell from my eyes like rain. I felt too afraid of stepping further into his room, so I just stood motionless in the doorway, and wondered what to do.

Even if I woke from this dream, my life was forever changed now. I'd lost a leg, and who knows what other terrible injuries I had after the wreck. There would be no college in the fall, there would be no finding a nice girl, and finally having a relationship, there would be no.. My parents! I hadn't considered my parents, I'm sure they were destroyed by what had happened. The tears now included gasping sobs, and I walked to the bed, and took my own right hand in Steph's. There was a very strange feeling that raced up my arm when I touched Carl. I suppose a bit like a tingling, but it pulsed, like a heartbeat.

In a moment of self-pity, I wanted Carl to simply pass away. I was never going to have my pathetic life back, at best, I might hope for an even more pathetic life and that seemed too much to bear. I tried to calm down, and wiped the tears and snot from my face. Then I tried to think of what I should do next.

The best way I could describe things, was that I had been dependably existing as a kind of second consciousness inside of Stephanie's body, sometimes able to control her actions, although it took considerable focus, and it was taking more and more as time seemed to pass. Sometimes I was merely a passenger in her body, and able to feel what she felt, both physically and mentally. If I could live with Steph, maybe even share control of her, that would be a better solution, than maybe waking up one day, and getting fitted for a prosthetic leg, and who knew what else? But my parents would be forever broken if Carl died. I had to think, and I was too close to what was happening to do that with any clarity. I decided to leave, and then figure out what to do from my apartment, I mean, from Steph's apartment. As I stood to leave, I realized that Carl had never been kissed by a woman that was related to him, and so I walked around to the other side of his bed, and leaned over, giving him a soft, gentle kiss that I let linger for a bit. If nothing else, Carl would always have that. As I left his room, I stopped at the nurses station, and asked for a status on Carl, they simply said that my condition hadn't changed since they'd stabilized me, and that they wouldn't know the full extent of my injuries until I regained consciousness, and then I was told that I shouldn't give up, because the young man in that hospital bed hadn't yet given up.

I found myself back home, well, Steph's home, and couldn't recall anything that had happened in between stepping away from the nurses station, and unlocking the apartment door. There wasn't anything like simply losing any control, and sitting back giving her control, it was like I'd blacked out.

I didn't like that.

I paced around the apartment, and decided to clean up a bit. The place wasn't really messy, but there was a lot of mail on the kitchen table, and the sink had plenty of dirty dishes in it. I took care of the dishes, then went through the mess of papers on the table, and found a letter that turned out to be a notice of termination from a company called 'Baggerstons' that indicated I had been laid off due to 'company restructuring' and explained that I had a two-month severance package which would assist while I pursued a new role elsewhere.

Great, first my boyfriend cheated on me, and now I find that I'd been let go. A few minutes later, Gretchen texted me, and asked how I was, and offered to come by after work and eat my pussy.

I don't know why that idea bothered me. It was obvious something had happened, and seemed to continue to be happening between Steph and Gretchen, and Carl had very certainly masturbated to plenty of girl-on-girl porn, but I was finding it harder and harder to understand why Steph had Gretchen for a friend. She seemed really slutty, and maybe not in a good way. I supposed she was probably like the friend you have that gets you into trouble all of the time. That seemed like something Gretchen would do regularly.

Still, I was very curious about what it would feel like to have my pussy licked.

I made myself a bowl of soup, still not convinced my stomach was ready for more substantial food. Just as I finished up, I got a text from Curt asking if I liked seafood. I remember typing out my reply, and then it was like I blacked out, and when I opened my eyes, I was in bed, under my covers and it was late at night.

This was the second blackout I had, I wondered if it had anything to do with visiting myself earlier in the day at the hospital, maybe Steph handled stress differently than I did.

I woke up the next morning, and pictured Curt, well, Stepth pictured Curt. With his sexy accent, and model good looks. I hoped there wouldn't be any terribly timed blackouts this weekend, I really wanted to be a fly on the wall as he fucked Steph.

The day progressed and I became increasingly bored, and restless. A bit after lunch (more soup) I decided to masturbate again. All the while, I could still take control as needed, but it was taking an incredible amount of concentration, for example, Steph reached for her bullet vibe, but I wanted to feel something in my pussy again, I couldn't imagine using the huge dildo, so I picked the black, medium sized dildo, and it easily slipped into my pussy, it was bigger than the glass dildo, and gave me a nice, pleasant full feeling. As I slowly pushed it in and out of my body, my secretions quickly covered the toy in a milky white froth, I pulled the dildo out, and slipped two fingers inside, then brought them to my mouth, and tasted pussy juice for the first time in Carl's life. It was different, not what I expected, but not bad. I wondered if I'd ever eaten Gretchen's pussy, and decided that I must have. Afterall, it seemed impossible to simply have a friend that occasionally ate Steph's pussy, with no returning the favor. I marveled at how my pussy loosened, and the previously tighter fitting dildo was now effortlessly sinking into me all the way to the large, plastic balls.

This was so much better that stroking my decidedly average dick.

I had a sudden naughty thought to see if I could fuck myself with the biggest dildo. I went into the bathroom, and brought my lighted vanity mirror back to bed with me. I lay back down, spread my legs wide, and simply admired my vagina in the mirror's reflection. Carl had never been particular about the appearance of a vagina, but there was definitely a feeling of pleasant contentment as I closely regarded my pussy. My labia were tidy, and blossomed a bit, like petals of a flower near my clitoris. I watched as my fingers slipped back inside, this felt completely different from what stroking a fully engorged erection felt like. I moved a finger in tight circles along my swollen clit, and felt myself heating up, and my breath coming more unsteadily now. It felt wonderful, but I had no intention of rubbing myself to an orgasm. I hefted the large dildo, and began licking it, covering it with a glistening sheen of saliva, and then placed it against my opening, and told myself that I had nothing to worry about, that I was positive that I'd use the toy in the past.

As I pressed it forward, I felt considerable resistance, but the mirror's reflection clearly showed that the head was nearly inside of me. I spread my legs as far apart as I could, and inhaled, forcing myself to relax. I pressed again, and kept pressing. It felt too big, and then a moment later, my pussy gave way, and I felt the huge head pop inside of me.

It wasn't immediately pleasurable, so I left it where it was, and began rubbing my clit again. After a short while, I began pressing on the toy, and it moved slowly, deeper inside of me. When it was possibly ⅔'s inside of me, it bottomed out. It felt strange, the full feeling, burning a bit. At that moment, I decided I liked the medium-sized toy better, but I wasn't yet finished. As had happened before, the continued in and out motion gave my pussy the stimulation, or abuse, or whatever it was, that resulted in it more easily moving in and out of me. While it never moved as freely as the medium sized dildo had, this was creating more intense feelings, and I couldn't help but to feel like a slut, I briefly imagined this was the kind of dildo Gretchen almost certainly owned, and then I wondered if this WAS Gretchen's dildo. I stopped thinking, and returned to letting the pleasure wash over me. When I came it was a strange, slow, tortuous affair. I felt cheated that I needed to remember to keep fucking myself as I came on the huge toy. I'd have much rather had someone else fucking me with it, or maybe even better, to just have someone else fucking me.

I'd fuck Curt this weekend.

After I had recovered from my orgasm, I giggled like a crazy woman. I got out of bed, and brought the toys, and the mirror back into the bathroom, replacing the mirror and cleaning myself and the toys. Then there was nothing until the following day, just before dinnertime.

When I realized these blackouts were getting worse, I forced myself to consider that at some point, I might not ever return. Was this a signal that Carl was going to wake from his coma? Was it a signal that he would soon die? I had no answers, and clearly, I couldn't ask anyone. It felt so strange, sitting on my couch, in a perfectly silent apartment, trying to figure out what was happening. An idea came to me, it might not have been a great idea, but if Carl might die, I wanted to leave a message to my parents. For the rest of the night, I attempted to write a letter dozens of times. It was after 3am when I finally had something that I was satisfied with. I fell asleep, and prayed that I'd still be inside of Steph when she woke, I needed her to be able to deliver the letter.

~

I woke to my alarm at 9am, feeling exhausted. After showering, dressing and staring at myself in the mirror and doing everything I could to convince myself what I was about to do was the right thing, I left my apartment, and drove to the hospital. It was just after 10:30am when I arrived, with my letter sealed in an envelope, I had written 'Please don't open, unless Carl passes away.' on it. I stopped at the nurses station and asked if there had been any change in Carl's condition, and the nurse asked who I was, it was a different nurse than the one I had last spoken to.

I'm his sister, Stephanie." I said.

"Carl's parents have explained that he doesn't have a sister named Stephanie. Now, who are you?" She asked.

"I... I just know him, you could say I'm closer to Carl than anyone else." I stammered.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave, only family can visit on this ward." She said dismissively.

And just like that, my great plan was undone.

I sat in my car in the hospital parking lot and raced for a new idea, and then in the blink of an eye. I was sitting on my couch watching the evening news, and listening to the newscaster explain that Carl Miller had died of his injuries, suffered after being in a terrible accident days earlier.

I can't describe that feeling, there aren't words in any language that could illustrate what that felt like.

I was convinced that the next Blackout would signal the last time I'd have any conscious thought. It was in that desperate moment that I knew what I had to do.

I knocked on the door, and wiped away my tears, then just surrendered to them. It would be impossible for the task before me.

The door opened and an impossibly sad-looking woman answered the door, her eyes actually looked swollen from crying.

"Yes, can I help you?" My Mother asked.

"Mom, I know you won't believe what I have to tell you, but I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to tell you again. Is Dad home?"

"Excuse me? I'm not your Mother, this day has been the worst of my life young lady, so please, leave us alone, we're in mourning." She said with a cracking voice.

"We went on a picnic when I was eight, at Halloran Park. I got stung by a bee and started hallucinating, I kept telling you that I could see balloons everywhere, and you played along, and told me you could see them too as Dad drove us to the hospital. The Doctor that saw me, explained that I was allergic to bee stings, and that they'd give me a shot, and fix me right up, but that I'd need to return, and they'd test to see how serious the allergy was. I refused to leave the house until we got the test done a week later, when the Doctor said that I should avoid bees, but that I'd be okay if I got stung again, just that I might see those balloons all over again." I stopped and watched as my Mother switched between disbelief, and hope. "Ask me any question, things only the three of us would know, it's really me Mom, it's Carl."

She grabbed my hand and pulled my inside as my Dad was on his way to the front door, and looked from my Mother, to me with a 'who is this?' look through his reddened eyes.

"Hank, please tell me I'm not dreaming, please, please sit down." She said, and waved her arm for me to sit in the living room.

The talk started like this:

"I'm doing this now, because I don't know if I can do it again. I've had blackouts, and they keep getting longer. I know I died today, it really is me, I just seem to be somehow inside this woman, her name is Steph."

They both sat, silent and having no idea what to say.

"I remember going to work, you told me not to and that the weather was too bad. I took the highway, and ended up spinning my car, I was fine, but then a truck came, and couldn't stop. After that, I woke up inside of this woman. I thought it was a dream, but it was a dream that I could control for a while. I accidentally found out it wasn't a dream when I heard the news describe the accident and mention my name. I went to the hospital, I told them I was Carl's sister, I tried to go back today, but the nurse said that you'd told them Carl didn't have a sister and she made me leave. I wanted to leave a note for you, I was still alive when I tried to visit. I wanted to leave this note." I stood, and handed my Mother the sealed envelope.

"This is impossible." My Dad said.

"Agreed, and yet, you can ask me anything Dad, if Carl was there, I can answer." I looked back at Mom "The note just explains that whatever is left of Carl, is inside this woman, and that I love you both, very very much, that you shouldn't be sad, you both know, I would have been miserable forever if I would have survived, I saw my leg was gone, and that cast, I could tell there were some really bad things wrong with me. So, you can read the letter, or we can just talk."

I told them about the blackouts, and that I didn't know what would happen after the next one, but that I was okay if this was where everything ended. The three of us cried more tears than a rainstorm and it was late at night when it felt like we'd finally reached the point of exhaustion.

"Stay the night." Mom said.

"I can't, if I wake and Carl's really gone.. If this is the last time I'll be here, I want it to end with all of us awake, and both of you knowing it's all okay."

"Promise you'll reach out, if you're still in there Carl, please." Mom said as I took turns hugging them, and then I was on the road, driving back to Steph's house, and feeling like if that was the last time the three of us would ever be together, then at least we'd said the things that needed saying.

As I lay my head on my pillow, I surrendered to whatever fate had in store for me, ready to accept that this was probably the end for me.

~

It was almost noon when I woke, still exhausted, and my body hurting from having laid in the same position for far too long.

I felt different, very different. I pulled myself out of bed, and went to the bathroom, looking in the mirror and seeing that Steph was looking back, but there wasn't anything like a conscious effort to control her. I just willed my body to respond and it did. It felt like it always had when I wanted Carl to do something. I sat to piss on the toilet and tried to sort things out in my head. Was this my final day? Maybe, but it didn't feel like that. I finished up and went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, then popped a bagel into the toaster. While breakfast was under way, I went and sat on the couch, and gave up all control, giving it to Steph.

But nothing happened.

I just sat there, my brain and body waiting for orders. The toaster signaled the bagel was done, and again, I gave up control, but Steph wasn't taking over, it was like she was absent. The coffee was ready, and again, Steph did nothing.

I got up, poured a cup, and spread cream cheese on the bagel and ate. My stomach still wasn't back to normal, but it was feeling better. After breakfast, I decided to test things more. I went into the bathroom, and waited for Steph to take control, and put on her makeup, but she didn't. I decided to see what would happen if I tried, and it was like I'd been doing it for years, it was as simple as tying my shoes. I repeatedly tried to push the thought from my head, but by dinnertime, I had to accept that I was the brain in Stephs body now, she was somehow gone. There wasn't a blackout, and that night when I fell asleep, I decided to hold off on any final judgment till the next day, Saturday.

I woke feeling rested, and planned my day out, now convinced that I had been given a second chance. I wasn't Carl any longer, Carl had died. But what happened to Stephanie? I couldn't make sense of it until later that morning, when I played everything back in my head. It was obvious that Steph had tried to overdose, and what if, however small the chances were, that in so doing, her body had been given another chance, even if her consciousness hadn't? Was this some kind of reincarnation? Was it some kind of permanent takeover of her body? Of course, I could never know, and I promised myself, and Stephanie that I'd treat every day like it was my last, and to enjoy this new life, or chance that I'd been given. I drove to a nearby clothing store, and picked out a pretty new red dress, nicer than the one back in my closet, but still close enough that it would always remind me. Then I picked out a new pair of shoes, classy heels, but not slutty. I stopped at a salon on the way home and had my nails done, after all a woman has to look nice when she has a date a bit later with a gorgeous man like Curt. Besides, I had every intention of getting lucky.

Lucky, now there was a word I'd never think of in quite the same way ever again.

~

AN: This was a very complex story for me to write. I'm still not satisfied with how the transition from Carl to Steph went, but honestly I can't think of how else to write it. This was never going to be a story filled with sex, but I wanted the hope for sex to be a main part of the story. Sorry, but this is where the story ends, and I do hope you enjoyed reading it!