All Comments on 'Faithful Husband Finds a New Fuck Ch. 01'

Nice start,

Congratulations on publishing your first story. I know it can be daunting, especially in this category. Good luck with your future postings.

I dont understand why authors lie in their tags

3 of the 5 listed didnt occur

I like a natural bush, the more luxuriant the better.

I think you're a pervert. "Catherine's inability to keep up her routine of self-grooming around things like waxing her pussy regularly, he found a little off-putting." But since there are probably others who think the way you do, this story is not for me. Carry on.

So his wife is already cheating on him? Or is she about to start?

Because you'v already set-up the perfect revenge/reverse cuck scenario here.

But no backstory on the wife's affair/affairs.

Big blocks of narration, run-on sentences, not enough dialog. Thanks for telling us upfront that this is a chapter story, but one page is too short for single chapter.

Agree with SB - Third person narrative is an awkward approach for something that should evoke emotion in your readers. Toward the end you switch to first person, further offsetting us readers. One of my pet peeves with writers in LW genre is creating loving, devoted spouses then have them do something 180 out of who they are. I appreciate you writing your first story here and respect it, but keep it real and work harder on your writing craft. The LW genre on this site has some of the best writers on this site. Read some of their stories and get a feel for what "good looks like" - sbrooks103x, who commented below, has some well crafted tales... Oh, and ignore nonconstructive comments! LOL

I think I know what you wanted to set up but way to short. You need to develop the people better and the relationship before you try introducing the conflict.

Very confusing. Story touches on what a perfect couple they are, how much he loves his wife & she loves him, how he never even considered cheating in HS or throughout their marriage, despite all the flirtations from other women. So why now? And why a girl his daughter's age? His daughter's bully? Just doesn't make much sense.

FYI: You might want to remove the 'cuck'/'cuckold' tag and instead use 'cuckquean' (husband cheats on wife with her knowledge) which is the term for reverse cuckold.

As to the story itself, it's a good premise. Look forward to seeing where you take this. Don't get discouraged by naysayers. Many of them will be salty because of the tags - disappointed since they came to read a cuckold story.

Also, you don't have to give all the backstory and history in the first few paragraphs. Space it out and drop it in at various points. For example, that whole paragraph about her as a nurse and when she was younger could have been skipped. After the interaction with Stacey, maybe Catherine goes inside and later that night, feeling a little self-conscious, looks at herself in the mirror and reflects on when she was younger and ...

Same with the backstory about their daughters and with Stacey's behavior as a kid. Maybe while meeting with Stacey and she apologizes for the brat she was as a kid, do a couple paragraph flashback of Catherine remembering how Stacey was and some specific event to give an idea/example, then you can jump back to the present as Stacey says or does something that recaptures Catherine's attention.

Again, good story. I hope to see a little more meat to each chapter, but I do very much want to encourage you to take your time. Don't rush into him cheating on her right away. Catherine needs to be conflicted about it for quite some time before anything happens. Stacey needs to play with that conflict a bit - not intentionally and overtly (yet) - just naturally flirtatious and playful. Tommy needs to be careful not to act like a cad. He should probably realize the hug after 10 years to a girl that he was so angry at was probably inappropriate and decide to keep things proper - which both Stacey and Catherine probably challenge. I strongly request that you draw that process out as the sexual tension prior is half the fun. Then, once it happens, it should also be drawn out. It shouldn't go from he cheats to suddenly it's a 3 way with Catherine happily and lustfully submitting to Stacey. Many little steps exist along the way and, to me, it's best if Catherine is constantly battling the lust she feels with the animosity and jealousy she also feels.

And as it builds, please, PLEASE add some humiliation in there. Many cuckqueans REALLY get off on the humiliation and degradation of the younger, hotter girl taking care of the wife's husband better than she could - all while the cuckcake (the other woman) enjoys the pleasure from the husband while the wife goes denied. You've set that up PERFECTLY. Please use it.

Lastly, I would also love to see some development of potential cuckquean aspects with the daughters. They come to visit their parents (maybe independently), Stacey is over (maybe after playing with Tommy) and sees the girls again and meets their husbands. Now, to really test your creative skills, I would love to see Stacey make Catherine play a role in helping Stacey to cuckquean Catherine's own daughters.

So many great paths to pursue. You've really setup a great premise. Take your time and really develop it as it unfolds. Looking forward to reading more.

GARBAGE

A great deal of writing about how much they love each other and still find each other attractive. She is "comfortable" in her appearance as she feels secure in the relationship because Mr rugged has not said anything to think he feels any differently about her. But now that he sees the hottie next door things will change?

Thank you for submitting a story, but unless you are a modern William Shakespeare, your readers will have forgotten the details of your introduction, by the time chapter two pops up. It took over 2,000 words just to introduce the characters and have a short conversation with the new/old neighbor.

I read this chapter because it was 4 plus stars, put I will probably wait until you finish the story, before I read any more. Good luck!

Stopped abruptly ???

waiting for Stacy,to be on Tommy's lap, enjoying 'real meat'

Rather that cuckold

Set up seems complete. Now I am looking forward to chapter 2 introducing some spice. Keep on going.

I look forward to the next chapter

So far too much time really getting nowhere.

Understand that this appears to be what would be an 8-10 page story that, like most, could be boiled down into a 4 page story when the wasted word is removed.

Come on, get it together. Tommy is thinking about his new/old neighbor 's kid, Stacey, while Stacey had a teenage crush (on him from before), so now, Catherine better hire a PI or keep an open eye on her husband. Tommy and Stacey are going to have an affair and Catherine will eventually catch them screwing. The BIG question is 'what does she do about it'. Divorce her cheating husband?, revenge against Stacey and Tommy or both?, or just do nothing?, or find her own lover at the hospital? This can be interesting but is just way too early in the story. As they say - just 'finish the damn story.'

Actually well written but don't leave the next chapter too long otherwise it will lose momentum

So I guess you need some help, an editor?

If you tell the story you want to tell then you might as well just talk it to yourself and be happy. You have to tell your story in the way an average reader wants to read it. If you think you are doing us a favor by telling us a story you are going to be disappointed. You are here to develop the skill of writing stories that other people want to read. Anyone can write, but its takes wit, imagination, empathy, and PRACTICE to write stories that captivate and enthrall the majority of readers.

Some people serve food they like to eat. Some people serve food that most people like to eat. Anyone can cook food. A chef creates dishes that captivate and . . ., well, you get it.

This story is worthy of a great deal of review and improvement. I hope you have the time and get the help you need to become the writer you want to be.

Good luck with future work, and Thanks for the effort.

Tommy needs to get time with stacey. Fill her cunt with his seed and maybe have a threesome with stacey and his wife

Please. Continue to wright this story. There are so few good ones, in this genre.

Tags and story seem unrelated. Good start on something but need a lot longer chapter to hook readers. Don't let the comments get to you.

At least it isn’t the same old faithful wife goes nuts story.

Good premiere. I would love to see how Stacey seduces Tommy and humiliates Catherine in the process

What a stupid ending

Please continue writing. Your story has so much potential 😊

Communication

Has potential, but it has been 15 months and no chapter 2. Guess that this aas a waste of time.

And?

Has so much potential! Waiting for updates