All Comments on 'Fallen Ch. 01'

your writing is addictive :) thanks for sharing it with us!

I think this category fits your story much better. They are non-human first and gay second. I t will be interesting to see what happens next.

Depraved indifference surrounded by decadence...but a thread of deliciousness weaves throughout. This may be what happens when desire is never checked and appetites are indulged.

Okay, I hate to poo-poo this, and not because it's gay.... Because it needs a kicking. I love to concept, I love the characters. I don't love your grammar as a writer. Several places you need to adjust the structure of your work. Do you have an editor? If not, please find one.... This piece needs a good clean-up. If you do have one, fire him/her immediately and get a new one!

Sorry if my words came across as too negative.... Constructive, concise and helpful criticism is just too hard for me to do sometimes.... I much prefer to be the 'Simon Cowell' of criticism........ But something about this piece makes me hesitate. Please drop me a line, and we'll talk more in depth about it..... If you like.

Cheers,

Lo_Pan.

I checked your bio and found this was out! Man am I glad I checked. I really like this and will def keep a check for it if you're going to post it here instead of GM!

I missed this update so i'm so happy i checked your page! This chapter was hot and really interesting. I'm loving this series. You're an awesome writer

Just to let you know that Chapter 2 has been out for AGES but it hasn't been approved yet.

I've sent in Chapter 3 too.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read and review. I am fond of this story and the characters.

Lo_Pan "I love to concept". Do fire your editor darling Lo_Pan, they are letting you down. Oops, my mistake. That's you, isn't it?

I know grammar. I have no clue what Lo-Pan is talking about. Jealous maybe, because you got it right? This is one of the best written stories I've found on Lit. It's not perfect, but nothing ever is. You rock, girl, and I'm gonna keep on readin' -- Love it!

wake me up when this drivel is over.? talk about drama.?

I know this is an older story but I really enjoyed it and plan to read the other chapters as well. Being a huge fan of horror, vampires, and the supernatural this one really speaks to me. Well done.