All Comments on 'Falling Butterflies'

Great depth to your story; very well written. He's better off without her, of course. However, he probably should have just shipped the clothes back; she'll make his life more hell now than she (subtely) did before--but then you wouldn't leave us continuing on with this (a good thing) after the words of the story ended.

What's a poor guy to do! Always subject to being the new and improved version. Mother, sisters, girlfriends, fiancees, wives and daughters; they all do it. A man ain't got a chance.

Boyd

The rebel in Ray should have surfaced much earlier for him to have had any hope. Still next time he forewarned will be forearmed.

My best regards

In a word "Retribution".

Sally hardly moved her head as she looked about Philip's apartment. Their apartment now, and at the untidy looking man with the brilliant legal mind who lived there. She knew she could make him look better, Armani, Gucci or Prada, find them a better apartment, perhaps even an inner-city wharf conversion.

+++++++++++

here, Athena has just left another clueless man and she's now set her sight on reforming another: she'd make this man look, feel, act, and live BETTER than he is currently doing! yeah, just some fancy armani, cuggi leather, etc. and he would look like someone she's destined to be happy with!

please! the "E" after the story means the editors didn't have time to read, so they just all agree it's an exceptionally insightful or well written story? lol that's a laugh!

He was very lucky to get rid of her so easily. Around the corner there will most likely be a real woman waiting for him! A good story.

lol. the word came to my mind after reading the story. i guess, im looking for a bit more passion on a story that have an emotional subject.

too "economical", i guess.

Only if "E" stands for EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!

Quite evidently this story hits several of the previous commenters uncomfortably dead on--which is the mark of an excellent story. In direct contrast to what an earlier commenter posted, Of course this type of maneating woman will go for exactly the same kind of guy to "reform" him to her "specifications" again . . . and again . . . and again. The author has caught this precisely, and the story deserves the E.

does not make it SEEM as he or she was shooting at it from THAT corner (per the last "LOL" poster)

the boyfriend was MADE really, really, really dense: he had to clarify with the woman 3 to 4 times, one following another, within a spand of a few sentences as to what she meant she she said "I am leaving you."

that indicated to the general readership that the AUTHOR had wanted to convey a straight-forward message: a really, really dense man can get a good, hard-working, loving woman to ---- after endless attempts at communication and changing ---- leave him AND HE IS STILL CLEWLESS,,, that's what the story comes across like

of course, the ENDING can be interpreted a few ways:

1. she's one of these "man eating" slutish soap watching women who can NEVER be happy with any guy and she's just exaggerating the guys stupidity, to lessen her own,,,, or

of course, she tried to change one man after another to no avail, because she's the one with the missing teeth, not they,,,

or

2. she has truly left a terrible man and is now with a "highly intelligent lawyer" with a keen mind to match, ad nauseam,,, dressing him is just a minor way of making sure she doesn't embarrass her, his skillful lawyering ability notwithstanding,,,, after, who wants to live with a boring, careless, cheap bastard, right?, especially one with a lot of money and intelligence and still dresses like a shep-herder!

right!

The strength of this story (and of the author's writing here) is precisely that the characters were so realistic drawn--not at all forced to the extremes that the previous commenter suggest they have to go. They are two separate people. There is absolutely nothing in the narrator's denseness about the relationship or untidiness that prevents the female character from being a maneater of the variety that choses a mate almost purely with the motive of reupholstering him with her own fabric (a form of dominance)--and then will go on to pick the next mate from the same motivations. Another strength of the story continues to be that a segment of the readers apparently have had a mirror held up to their faces and don't like what they see--and then decide that the best defense to that is to tear the story down. A story isn't bad simply because it evokes discussion and disagreement about the characters' relationship. I found the treatment of that relationship here not only completely plausible and honest but also revealing of a classic dynamic in the male-female relationship as told from the male point a view. Would just as much enjoy reading a story on the same situation from the female point of view (untidiness isn't purely a male attribute any more than the need to dominate and remake the mate is purely a female attribute). It's evident, though, that some readers are just too threatened by the dynamic itself not to pick this story apart.

If there's any part of the story that gives me pause or seems off the beam, it's the narrator cutting up his wife's clothes. I didn't really see the transition from being pussy whipped and dense about what was really going on and trying to take back control that way. But it may be that the author is giving more depth to the character than I initially see and that it is I who isn't fully getting this here--which is reason for further contemplation of the story. And a story that causes the reader to continue mulling it in her/his mind is another good candidate for being a good story.

Perhaps whoever gave it the E can comment here on what they saw in it initially to give it the E. If I had been in their place, I very likely would have given it an E on first read too.

Sorry for the double posting below. (Don't know how I managed that.)

On the story, come to think of it, the scissors to the clothes bit is somewhat of a cliched action in stories of what the female does in this circumstance. Will have to think about that one.

Your writing is superb. That is your observations and sensitivity to details are equal to serious novel material. Now, until you get there, why won’t you practice on us with characters which are more balanced, that are each with their own strength and weaknesses AND please write something longer. I have little doubt that it will be a, literary event.