All Comments on 'Family Business Pt. 02: Family Motors'

Your writing style needs some improvement. I like the concept,but the structure is wanting. Only really wanted to give you a 2 1/2 but not possible. It was the use or not use of words that caused this. The sex was almost hot.

Loved the story.

Looking forward to another chapter.

Will they join with John and Beth?

i think its pretty well written. a few typos, something an editor or proof-reader could correct. but its 5 stars. i lover it. we definitely need another chapter. maybe 2 or 3. ENCORE!!!! and thanks!

4 stars again for the same reasons I mentioned before. But HUGE kudos for closing out the watersports thing as just a passing phase. Excellent craftsmanship on the way you shut that down. Very nice.

I'm glad that you handled the parents opinion in the way that you did, but you rushed through it too quickly. I would have had them undecided and used it for a hook. Then in the next chapter eventually seeing the true love between their children and eventually getting on board with their support.

I also love how Nancy was a latent bisexual discovering herself. However, there's something missing with the girl/girl love scenes. They're feeling a bit rushed and tilted to fucking instead of loving.

Again, good job and I'm looking forward to the next installment.