All Comments on 'Family First Ch. 06'

Thanks for taking the time to write this story.

What a great story, very hot and sexy all the way through!

I'm not usually all for it when it comes to chapters full of sex and little else but this is something else entirely, it was hot beyond compare yet retained the sensual approach the previous chapters helped build up. You managed to entwine two sides seamlessly by making only one character appear in both lines and established a continuation that will define the future of this series. One thing to remember here - cousins can get married pretty much anywhere in the world so there aren't hat many legal obstacles for their relationship the wide world.

The Mary-Diane-Ray part was the more difficult one to pull off yet you, at least in my opinion, made it better than any of us hoped it to be. By making Mary the focal point of desires and sex you gave her the baton with which to set the tempo of this frisky evening. The feelings of desire as well as doubt were palpable since the mirror scene at her home and carried over until she finally took her brothers stick in her hands. Once the action started her walls crumbled and her most secret wishes came forth, even those for her son when she tasted him from Dianes honeypot.

Speaking of Diane - she had more hopes than doubts, probably thanks to the devious plans and the event sod the previous evening. Still her doubts did emerge for a bit when Ray finally screwed Mary but dissipated just as quickly when she saw what a wonderful thing it was. She did get her fill from Danny, finally for both of them, and there she displayed her love for her family members once more not overhearing on their lovemaking and giving Danny the prion to say no if he or Christina so wanted. Her best action however was the casual mentioning of Christinas doing her dad when and how she feels and wants, and of course rimming her baby girl for added kink.

Ray while participating willing and enthusiastically didm offer much of a view in his though process, nonetheless he was the perfect gentlemen and lover of both his sitter and wife.

Danny and Christina on the other hand had just as eventful day, first their relationship got accepted and so did their public display of it, then they got a go-ahed from her mom to find a room and do it there, and to top it all off Diane joined them for some raunchy threesome action. Danny got the better part of the deal in the bedroom but his doubts about Christina & Ray together were so obvious that the women let it drop for now. Better talk about it in the future and establish the boundaries despite it being a turn-on for them all.

All in all it was an incredible chapter, probably the best so far in the series and despite the sex being the driving force it managed to set some things straight and gave everyone something to think about and look forward to in the future. The inly thing that could possibly ruin this is if Marys husband was to join or if Danny looses his shit when he learns about his parents way of living. But then again the author always managed to come around with better stuff each time, so as long Danny & Christina end happy together I have noting to bitch about.

Gave it the 5* that are already a norm here.

Will be anxiously waiting for the next chapter in the Henson/Wheeler family saga. And just what is Mary's husband up to when he is out of town? Twin daughters in college; hmm.

Keep up the excellent work.

I have you saved, waiting for more...

Reminds me of a story I wrote years ago. It was long but so worth it in the end. As long as you can keep up this quality of writing, I say keep going. Your development of the story line and characters is just mouthwatering. Has the reader begging for more. Can't wait for the next chapter.

cant wait for the rest of the family to join in except tim. tims a douche so he gets nothing.

…not letting Ray join them. As I commented previously that would destroy the Danny and Christina love angle for me. Danny and Christina were virgins not 5 days prior (per your wonderful adherence to story time). It's great that Danny finally had Diane but what you're talking about with Ray and Christina, while wonderfully twisted and highly erotic, is something that 95% of grown, sexually experienced men have extreme trouble doing with lovers that have been with them for years. The speed of this is the issue. If you could, perhaps (fully your prerogative as the author I accept), coax a bit more experience for Danny (more time with Diane or Mary. Even both) to establish his confidence as a lover while making sure that Danny and Christina are firmly rooted as lovers. Captain Fapulous, I believe suggested setting ground rules which is sound advice. I hope this doesn't sound like dictating. This is simply how I see your wonderful characters developing in a real world. The fact that you've brought them to such life is the only reason I comment.

…vivid imagination and delicious prose. This is a well developed, thoughtfully planned series sure to rank among the best.

Thanks to the anon who posted such a thoughtful critique of this chapter and the last one as well. Some of the issues you raised are things I've been struggling with throughout the process of writing this whole story, and not just in relation to Danny and Christina expanding their sexual horizons. I don't completely agree with your outlook on these characters' relationships, but I think you're right that Danny realistically would feel uncomfortable with Christina having sex with Ray, and I do plan on addressing that in future chapters. I guess only time will tell if I do it to your (or the rest of the audience's) satisfaction.

When I started writing this story, I wanted to create exactly the type of story I enjoy reading, something that was a happy medium between stroke stories and stories that were mostly focused on characterization and building up one central relationship. I've also always had a thing for the incest stories that involve the whole family. Two big inspirations for this one were Neighborly Relations by R_D_Eddy, and Melissa's Secrets by Pookie (If you haven't read either, do so. They are much better than what I've written here).

What I discovered early on in the writing process is that it's very difficult to write realistic characters who consistently do unrealistic things while still making the whole narrative believable. I've done my best, but there's no denying the fact that no rational group of people would make the decisions these characters have made. There are all kinds of consequences, emotional and otherwise that they would have to deal with if they did. Some of them will be addressed, but as in most incest stories, most of them will not. Drama and hurt feelings can be a great way to build tension, but ultimately, this is supposed to be a fun, sexy story where people do and say things that could never happen in real life. I think you're right that parts of the story feel rushed, but I decided early on that I'd get diminishing returns on trying to make everything completely believable and realistic, and decided to focus on narrative momentum instead. It hasn't worked out perfectly, but on the whole, I'm happy with how things are developing.

All of this is to say that I'm going to do my best to keep these characters as realistic and consistent as I possibly can, but when it's all said and done, there will undoubtedly be aspects of the story that stretch what most of us would consider normal behavior. Considering this is a story about a family that decides to start having sex with each other, hopefully that's not too big of a surprise.

I can't tell you all how immensely gratifying it is to hear that people really care about what happens to characters in this silly piece of smut I've been working on over the past year. I hope you all enjoy everything that's yet to come!

-EZ

Well done. From the opening lines- where one was lured into thinking that incestuous sex was going to be the dessert after the first shared meal by the young married couples through to the final gentle oral coupling between Diane and Ray you have sustained a fantastic, credible tale. Many thanks.

I am looking forward to Chapter 7 with total anticipation.

really good story, can't wait for next chapter.

please update ch 7

Wonderful series. Really well written. Can't wait for more!

I'm not a fan of "all-family-incest", but I can say you did a good job making it almost believable.

The only creepy character in your story is Diane. With her blind obsession on incest, she's like a detonator to a truck, full of C4. In reality, you need only ONE family member to seriously freak out and everything blows up big time. That's why there's no such thing as "planned incest" in a real world.

I don't know if you noticed, but adding more sex partners to the same pot just kills the romantic atmosphere of the story. I really liked the romantics with both cousins, but after Diane that atmosphere was completely destroyed. And now it's daddy's turn, right?

When I said I'm not a fan of such stories, I had in mind all authors, who destroyed their own stories by overplaying sex and lust parts. They just didn't know where to stop. In the end, all family members fucking together is just an animal show. Of course, this is only my own opinion, since I'm a fan of romance. All I can say, the romance in this story is failing and it makes me sad.

Thanks for the thoughtful feedback!

I'm sorry you're disappointed with the direction thebstory is taking. All I can say is that this has been my plan from the very beginning. Christina and Danny's relationship will remain the backbone of the story, but if you are bothered by the idea of adding other characters into the mix, then this might not be the story for you. I guess it all comes down to what you're looking for in your smut. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I'm doing my best to write the type of story I like to read. It's been pleasantly surprising that so many people seem to be invested in Christina and Danny's relationship, but I would be utterly bored writing a story that focused exclusively on the two of them.

*I'm doing my best to write the type of story I like to read.*

I'm not saying you should write according to your readers. That would be a totally bad thing. It's just that in the beginning, you give some false hopes to your readers, and I was one of those, who received one of them. I could say, you cheated a little :) Or simply made a mistake.

*It's been pleasantly surprising that so many people seem to be invested in Christina and Danny's relationship*

Because you were giving false hopes to your readers about them, that's why. Basically, you can't mix romance, lust for other sex partners and orgy together without a proper storytelling style. You are trying to make it look serious and realistic, but those aren't fit for such story. Of course, you can try it, but if you're planning to include daddy, neighbor Tim and his two daughters (oh, and a brother of Christina), the "romance" part most likely will fail in the end. So, all the romantics like me will be sad, but everyone else will be having their fun :)

I'm telling this only in case you were seriously planning to fulfill a "romance" part in this story. If so, you are definitely failing. If not, you're on a right path then.

when is chapter 8 posting or is it still in the editing phase. We know you said soon but give us a better estimate please.

I do not see romance failing here in the slightest! I see it tested, resilient, and spreading! Who says romance has to be exclusive? If anything, these stories should be freeing our inhibitions. We all already know well what repression is like. Enjoy the freedom bubble. Don't pop it!

i like where its headed. very erotic. stayed hard much of the 4 pages!!!

I love the way you developed the characters. I could feel their emotions. And the sex was really exciting. I think you are a great writer.

Keep it up!

Awesome!

Only word for this story. I am hard just thinking about it. Looking forward to the next chapters!

Please never stop writing. You are the best. I can't live without reading your stories

The author's writing has depicted the perfect incestuous family. Everyone knows they are respected and loved by the other(s). Each member is emotionally and mentally secure. They are safe and secure in their interpersonal lives. They are aware of each other's insecurities and are sensitive to each other's desires, needs, and wants. Once each individual accepts that love between two or more mutually agreeable persons is never bad. Only people, not love, have boundaries. To love, there are not boundaries and there is no such thing as forbidden. To wait 30-40 years to discover the preceding truths is sad but to never understand/experience them is almost criminal. Beautiful writing!

This needs 10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

enjoying this well written family love tale,,,slow build up is entertaining and erotic.