Family Secrets

When we left, we started out holding hands but by the time we made it back to the room, we had our arms around each other's waist. Again, it probably wasn't right but it didn't feel wrong, either. It wasn't until we got inside the room that things went sideways.

I opened the door with the keycard and let her inside first. After we crossed the threshold, I turned around to secure the door from the inside with all the locks. When I turned around, Tammy was standing right there in front of me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, solidly. It happened so fast, I couldn't stop her. My hands went around her waist to keep us from falling over.

I didn't know what to do, so I guess my instincts took over. I kissed her right back, just like she was kissing me. I got lost in the sensations, the scents, all of it. It all just felt right. When we stopped because we needed to breathe, I did something that neither one of us expected.

I started crying. Like a baby.

It was weird. I was standing there looking at her, with her blue eyes really bright and she had that big, beautiful smile and I just started shaking out of nowhere. Next thing I know, I'm bawling my eyes out and I can't even breathe well enough to speak.

Tammy hugged me, rubbing my back and shoulders, and let me cry until I could get some control back. All of a sudden, I would feel like shit and start crying again. This went on for about an hour before I just ran out of steam.

At that point, all I could do was sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the floor. Then I started talking. And talking. Everything spilled out, coming like one giant run-on sentence. All of the anger, self-hate, and frustration, Everything came out over the course of thirty minutes or so.

Tammy sat there and listened. A couple of times, she had tears running down her cheeks. When I finally ran down, she brought me a glass of water and quietly suggested we get ready for bed. While she went into the bathroom to change into her t-shirt she slept in, I got undressed and got into bed. To my surprise, she got into bed with me, sliding over so she could lay against my right side. She moved my arm so that it was wrapped around her and she could lay her head on my chest. That's how we fell asleep.

I woke up about 6:30 the next morning. I had to pee so I managed to slide out from underneath Tammy without waking her up. When I finished, I washed up a bit and brushed my teeth. When I came out of the bathroom, I thought she was still asleep so I sat down on the other bed and just watched her sleep. Turns out, she wasn't asleep.

"Too early for this shit, come back to bed." My sister had never been a morning person. This morning was no different.

I was torn. I knew now I was in love with Tammy. I wanted to be with her so badly but knew it wasn't right for a number of logical and legal reasons. I felt like a fake and it would destroy what relationship we had managed to rebuild when she found out I wasn't who she thought I was. She rolled over on her right side to look at me, patted the bed and pulled back the covers. It was so wrong but I did it anyway, because I wanted to and, quite honestly, felt I needed to. I slid into bed and lay on my back. She curled up against my left side with her head on my chest again. We lay like that for a while and then she shifted onto her stomach so we could look at each other.

She started talking, never breaking eye contact except to blink. "So now I know your secret. I know you think it's horrible. It was hard on you and I'm sorry that we couldn't get you to open up to us sooner. Now that you have, we have something to work on. Together.

"You don't think you're special but you are. Tom, your store manager? He came to the restaurant last week. He saw my name tag and asked if I was your sister. I said yes, I was. I thought -- forgive me for this -- he was going to tell me you flipped out on somebody or something just as bad.

"You know what he told me? Every year, they hire three seasonal employees for the garden center. Every year, they end up having to hire replacements because the first ones didn't work out. This year? One guy quit, you picked up his hours. The other guy stopped showing up most of the time, you covered his hours, too. In the end, you were doing in less than 40 hours what they had been having to hire three people to cover 60 hours for. He's been there five years and never seen that before. He loves the fact that all they need to do is point you at what needs to be done once and that's it. You do it. Every. Day.

"That is special, Mitchell. You can't teach that. We all see it even if you don't." She picked up her phone off the night table and opened up her photo album. "See this? This is a picture of you right after graduation. See how you look in this picture? Now look at this picture. Same guy. Except now you're in fantastic shape, you look healthy. First picture? You never looked anybody in the eye. Never. Now? You're so much more confident around people. You speak in complete sentences when you talk to them. Night and day.

"Guess what? I've got a secret, too. See this first picture? I love this guy, he's my brother. The second picture? I'm in love with this guy. He was my brother before shit went bad for him and he's back now." She paused, letting me take the last sentence in. "In. Love. I know society says it's wrong, the law says it's wrong, but I don't care. I have you back now and I'm not letting go this time.

"I want kids, Mitchell, if I can have them. But I don't want them with just anybody. And not some guy that in 5, 10, 20 years decides my ass is too big, my boobs too saggy or I'm not as tight as his 20 something year old secretary who hasn't pushed kids through her vagina yet. You aren't the guy who does that. That's why I want them with you.

"I got you here to seduce you, Mitchell. That's what last night was going to be, the night I finally got what I really wanted. I wanted to bring you back here and fuck your brains out on this bed. I wanted you to tell me how much you love me. I know we love each other. Instead, I feel like I broke you again. I'm sorry." She started to cry softly. I held her for a few minutes while I collected my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, too, Tam. We kissed and -- it was so incredible. That was my first kiss. Ever. You didn't break me. I got overwhelmed with things I've never felt before. All of this is new to me. Spending time with you feels good, I forget what it was like before.

"I'm also scared. Scared that I'll go back to the way I was. Afraid of what happens when everyone finds out about us. They will, eventually. Then what? It's all a lot for me to deal with.

"Do I love you? Hell, yeah. Am I ready for a relationship? I want to be. I like how you make me feel. All I can promise you right now is that I won't give up."

Tammy looked lost in thought for a while. "We're just going to have to take this a little slower than I wanted to." She stretched up to kiss me. "We'll do what we have to do. I'm not going to let you quit on me again."

She reset the alarm on her phone for 9 a.m. "I'm going back to sleep, it's too early for all this shit. Love you." She laid her head back down on my chest, closed her eyes and in less than five minutes, was asleep again.

I just laid there and stared at the ceiling until her alarm went off again, trying to think everything through. I finally got up and got in the shower. It didn't take long and she was waiting for me when I got out. I got dressed while she showered and did her morning routine. She was wearing a cute little strapless sundress and the sandals that she wore the night before. We loaded up the car and checked out early Sunday morning. As far as I could tell, we were still good.

We found a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that served a huge breakfast and we were on the road by 11. We were home by mid afternoon. Traffic wasn't bad and we made good time, even stopping for more coffee for Tammy.

The store started winding down the garden center shortly after Labor Day so those first weeks of September were pretty busy. Tom, our store manager, and Luis, the assistant manager for Lawn & Garden pulled me aside one morning after I clocked in. The garden center would be closing down the following week so they were going to move me over to Lumber. I would still be full time but qualify for benefits now as a regular employee with credit for my time as a seasonal employee. My first order of business once I got my insurance card to schedule a visit with my old therapist. Tammy's smile said it all when I told her.

Turns out the transfer also came with a pay raise. That was more money in the rent fund, although I did withdraw some to buy Tammy a Christmas present. We'd seen a really pretty necklace on one of our trips to the mall, so that's what I got her.

After the trip, we sort of started dating. It was just small things, like the trip to the mall. Nothing like our trip out of town. We were careful to keep displays of affection inside the house when we were alone, although it was harder than I anticipated. Tammy wasn't big on self control sometimes on the couch when our parents were home.

About once a month, our parents would go over to some friends of theirs for what they called "game night", starting on a Friday night. Most of the time, we wouldn't see them until Sunday morning. They had been doing that since we were old enough to be left alone. We never questioned it, and I figured that this was their way of blowing off steam, go party and do things with their friends for a weekend, kid free. We never asked what they did and they never told us. We had instructions to call only if there was an emergency. We never had to call them. We would just hang out, watch lots of stuff on TV, eat pizza and sleep. We weren't wild at all growing up.

It was during their game night weekend in January that we got caught.

The game night schedule consisted of my parents leaving a little before 6 on Friday night. We would, out of habit, leave a light on in the entryway on Friday and Saturday night, and turn all the other lights off downstairs before going to bed. That Friday, Tammy worked two shifts so she could be off on Saturday and Sunday, and she was exhausted when she got home. We watched a little TV, cuddled and about 11, she went upstairs to bed. I checked all the doors and windows, left the entry hall light on, and went to bed shortly thereafter. I was scheduled off for the weekend.

Saturday morning, I got up at my usual time and cleaned up downstairs. Tammy came down about 10, fixed herself some breakfast, and then dusted and ran the vacuum downstairs while I went over our half of the second floor and bathroom upstairs, since it was my month. We kept it pretty clean on our own, so it never took long.

That meant we were done by 1 in the afternoon. There was some marathon on TV that she wanted to watch, so we crashed on the couch with snacks and sodas, she watched TV and we cuddled when I wasn't taking a nap. After our road trip in August, we hadn't really even made out. Just touching, hugging, and cuddling. It felt a little like the first stages of a relationship, the part where you're getting physically comfortable with each other, sort of a feeling out phase. Nothing overtly sexual. I didn't really have any first hand experience with it, just what I had seen from other couples during high school. I was really comfortable with it and looked forward to spending time with her.

About 4, she got up and pulled me up with her. "I want to go out to eat at that steakhouse on Route 83, the nice one. Go take another shower, you smell." She then pushed me towards the stairs. So I did what I was told.

When I got out of the shower, she had raided my closet and pulled out a pair of nice slacks and a shirt she had bought me a couple of years ago. She had a t-shirt, socks and underwear laid out as well, with a note that said "Wear this, no subs". Okay, I can do that.

She took a quick shower while I got dressed. She came out of the bathroom as I was headed downstairs, and she gave me a quick once over.

"Nice. I'll be down in a minute." She wasn't. It was more like 30 minutes. But it was worth it.

As it was cold out in the middle of January, she had opted for jeans and a silk blouse. They were form fitting and she had one hell of a form. She had her hair down, styled to frame her face the way I really liked it. She had on the necklace I had given her for Christmas and she somehow found a pair of earrings to go with it. Her boots came up over her calf with the legs of her jeans tucked inside. Saying she was beautiful didn't do her justice.

I helped her with her coat and we headed out. The restaurant was surprisingly not busy so we were seated quickly. We sat together, ate off each other's plate, and generally acted like two people comfortable with each other. We held hands in the parking lot walking back to the car.

In the car, she put her hand over mine on the gear shift lever and we just kept them there all the way home. It was already very dark by 6 that time of year but we were still careful going in the house. Once again, I unlocked the door and opened it, letting her enter first. As I closed the door, I turned to lock it. When I turned around, she had already removed her jacket.

She didn't hug me, she didn't throw herself at me, she launched herself at me. My back slammed into the door when she hit me. Our lips met, then our tongues met and I got totally lost in it. She pressed herself into me, and with my back against the door, I had nowhere to go. I had been semi-erect most of the evening but now I was fully hard. She found the bulge with her pubic area and ground against me with a vengeance. For the first time in my life, I grabbed a woman's ass. And it wasn't just any woman, it was my sister's ass. It was...wow. She seemed to enjoy it, too, judging from the increased tempo of her grinding. I think we had just progressed to dry humping, actually.

"Take me upstairs, Mitchell," her voice was husky. We were both breathing heavily now. She unwrapped herself from around my neck and pulled me up the stairs by the hand. Without hesitation, she led me into her room.

I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had been in her room, it had been maybe three or four years ago. It hadn't changed much from what I remembered. It was larger than mine, that I knew. I remembered when we had moved in, I think I was 10 and she was 9, I let her have it because she had more stuff than I did and she needed the extra room.

The most unique thing in the room wasn't the queen size bed or the huge mirrored dresser, it was the Victorian floor standing mirror she found in an antique shop when she was 13. It was angled so that she had a front and back view of her outfit in the dresser mirror.

We continued kissing and running our hands over each other's body. When we came up for air, I turned her around so that she was facing the mirror and I was standing behind her. I kissed the side of her neck and she pushed back into me. I started at the top button of her blouse and started unbuttoning it.

"I love you so much, you are so fucking beautiful, Tammy. I want you so bad right now. First, I'm going to undress you, one button at a time. Slowly. I'm not going to touch you while I do it and you can't touch yourself, either.' That made her groan. Her hands came up to touch her boobs, but I grabbed them and put them to her sides. "No,"

I would switch sides kissing her neck with each button. By the time I had all seven undone, she felt like she was vibrating with arousal. I slid her shirt off and knelt down to unzip her boots. Getting those off proved a little difficult but we managed to do it without falling over. Next up were her jeans. I moved her hands to place them on her stomach with a reminder about not touching herself. She tried. I let her get away with rubbing the skin of her stomach. I unbuckled her belt and got the snap on her jeans open. She whimpered "Hurry up, Mitchell. Please."

"No."

She actually stomped her foot. "Fuck me, dammit."

"I will. When I get there."

Another whimper. When I looked up, she was watching the mirror, eyes half open. I thought I could see her nipples protruding through the padding of her bra. She was still squirming around, grinding against my cock with her ass. I was driving her crazy.

Getting her jeans off without touching her with my hands also proved challenging, since they were tight fitting. When they finally came off, you could not only smell her arousal but see it in the crotch of her panties. You couldn't miss that dark spot where her legs joined. I loved her scent.

I pushed her upper body forward a bit so I could get my hands in between us to unhook her bra. Alternating kisses on her neck as I counted the hooks, she had now closed her eyes and was biting her lower lip. Bringing my arms around in front of her, I hooked my fingers under the band of her bra and slowly started lifting.

I watched in the mirror as I lifted her bra up and over her tits. She moaned as the fabric caressed her nipples as I slid her bra over them. She had puffy areolas with a small nub at the apex. They were a dark shade of pink and they were out and proud. The size fit her body perfectly.

Once they were free, she reached up, grabbed her bra and flung it across the room. My hands were now resting on the patch of skin between her collar bone and the downward slope of her boobs. Laying my hands flat against her skin, I slowly slid them back down until my palms found her nipples. I paused briefly to gently squeeze her breasts and slid my hands down further to cup and lift them, using my thumb and index finger to gently squeeze and tug on her nipples.

Her orgasm surprised the shit out of me. All I heard was "Oh, god, Mi --" and the rest of it trailed off into a wail. I barely got my arms around her middle before she went limp. We ended up on the floor, her legs bent out to one side with me kneeling behind her. Her head rested against my shoulder, her eyes closed and she was breathing heavily, almost panting.

I guess we were there for a couple of minutes when she opened her eyes and smiled at me in the mirror, whispering "Do that again, I dare you." She put her hands over mine and pulled them back up to her nipples. "I've never cum that way before. You're the first person to ever touch me there."

I loved the feel of her tits, her nipples firm against the palms of my hands. She closed her eyes and moaned steadily while I played with them, rubbing, pinching and squeezing. My knees finally started to ache so I murmured into her left ear, "The bed would be more comfortable."

"Yeah." I helped her get to her feet and turned her to face me. We shuffled over to the edge of the bed. I slid my hands inside the elastic band of her panties and ran them over her ass cheeks as she ground into me. We kissed some more. She unbuttoned my shirt and I shrugged out of it, letting it fall behind me. I had to help her get my t-shirt up over my head and that hit the floor behind me, too.

She started to unbuckle my belt but I stopped her. I slid her panties down over her ass and they fell to the floor at her feet. She kicked them aside as her hands went back to my belt. I stopped her a second time and guided her back to sit on the edge of the bed. Grabbing a couple of her small pillows, I threw them behind her and pushed her back so she was laying with her head resting on them. I grabbed a thick pillow and dropped it on the floor between her feet.

Her eyes lit up and she bit her lower lip. As I knelt down, she spread her legs for me. She had shaved her pubic area smooth and in the low light of the bedside lamp, I could see how aroused she was. Her labia were full and there was moisture beaded up around them. I could see her clit starting to peek out from under its hood. As I leaned forward, one hand came up to entangle itself in my hair and the other went to one of her nipples.