Family Tradition Ch. 02

"Mona and Josephine were my girls, but Agnes ran Mona off because of her sexual persuasions, and Jo wouldn't do anything her mother wanted her to do. She fell in love, was married at the courthouse, and moved. Susan had many problems in school, probably because of all the arguments and fights she overheard coming from our bedroom. Susan married in the 'Tradition' but moved to the next State, west of Hill Valley, and rarely visits. Your first Christmas here was the first time in five years I've seen her."

Everyone was frozen, with expressions ranging from a blank stare to extreme horror.

I continued, "Poor Agnes, five daughters, and only two ass kissers. Nobody wanted the queen Bitch crown, so you took it, Millie?"

"Lois didn't want it, so I took over the family from Momma."

"So three husbands with loads of education, but no common sense. What about me? Did you do a credit bureau on me, Millie? Interview my family? I guess not."

"Mary, can you loosen your grip a little so I can breathe?" She loosened her coils around my body so I could continue.

"I went to work for my Dad right out of high school until I met Mary at a party in a frat house at the college located halfway between our two towns. I fell madly in love, and after a month of driving here to see her on weekends, I quit my job and moved down here to be closer to Mary. I gave myself to Mary for love, and yet I'm prepared to walk away and never look back."

Pausing for a moment to let the tension build, I struck at the three men with sarcasm and venom.

"You men are fools. Why can I, Henry Winston, a lowly high school graduate, see the truth right in front of me, and three brilliant college grads can't or refuse to see the same damn thing? The fact is that the women in this family are shoveling shit down your throats every day, and you smile and ask for more."

I had the 'I am smart, and you aren't' look on my face, but I was just getting started with them.

"So the fiancé of a daughter must sleep with his future mother-in-law before the wedding for family unity? How did having all-girl babies evolve to young fiancé fucks future Mother in law? Anybody?"

All five men, including Tom and John, stared at me with a blank look on their faces.

"You men are killing me. The answer is, now that the wife controls the sex of the baby in this family, one of the women's ancestors decided to add the fucking to the 'Tradition.' Perhaps the bride-to-be's father was deceased, so questions weren't asked about the sleeping arrangements the night before the wedding. Then, the more girl babies a wife has, the more young sons-in-law to fuck. Before you could say adultery, it became part of this warped 'Tradition.'"

Light bulbs were going off in the minds of all the men in the room.

"And whenever the family gets together, the women will gather around the kitchen island, and they will reminisce about each one of their one-night stands. Listening in are the married daughters who have not had children yet, or haven't married off any daughters. For twenty years, these women listen to these stories, and they become brainwashed and cold, waiting with excitement until they can cuckold and humiliate their husbands."

The men were angry now and were no longer touching their wives sitting next to them.

"At the same time, the husbands who have married off daughters can only wander around the house and yard, knowing they are being talked about and laughed at. The fathers of unmarried daughters, who slept with their mother-in-law, have forgotten about the 'Tradition' because it isn't thrown in their faces at every family get-together. They didn't understand yet, the humiliation their fathers-in-law are going through."

Frank and Joe had stood up and moved away from their wives.

"Then that day arrives when a daughter announces her engagement, and all memories of his final week before marriage, return to her father. For the next year, every time he looks at his wife, he sees her getting fucked by the young man who will marry his daughter. How lonely he must feel, in pain, and afraid to talk to anyone because he thinks he is weaker than all the other men in the family."

"Am I getting close, Frank? How about you, Jeff? Joe, you look like you're going to pass out."

I looked down at Mary and addressed her, "Almost decision time Mary. The wedding is off, and all that's left is split or elope."

She started to speak, and I stopped her with a finger across her lips. "Wait until I've finished speaking, dear."

"Then, a week before the wedding, the talk. The fiancé feel's terrible, but the bride's father is probably a mental case. He hears little snippets of conversation between his wife and other women in the family all week about her upcoming Friday night. He sees his wife's wonderful mood and dreamy smile, and now she wants to have sex with him and is not using her standard lame excuses for why they can't."

I had my cellphone out to call 911 because either their faces were blood red because of a possible stroke or pale white due to an impending heart attack.

"Your wife isn't making love to you; she's fucking you to keep from going insane while waiting for the night when a young, virile man will fuck her brains out all night long. She is constantly pampering herself, a new haircut, manicure, wax cut or trim; and all week long, she poses in front of every mirror in the house, humming to herself."

"Frank? Jeff? How am I doing? Am I close? Joe, I sort of wrecked this for you, didn't I? Millie has not been in a good mood this week."

Joe snorted, and his mouth curled up in a smile. Frank and Jeff were shooting smoke out of their ears.

"Finishing up now, ladies, so pay attention." I paused and drew a big breath.

"This part makes me sick to think about it. If I have a daughter, her fiancé would be expected to fuck my wife Mary, who would, by then, have evolved into a bitch like her mother."

Mary cried, "No. No, I wouldn't."

I was all talked out. "So, the 'Tradition' is about family unity? Funny, I can't feel much unity here. I want to hit someone, burn their house down, kill their dog, blow up their car."

"How many daughters and their spouses, who stayed in the 'Tradition,' had sons? Answer? Anyone? The answer is only one, Joe and Millie." Everyone turned to look at Joe.

"I'm done with my history lesson. Joe, when and how did you discover the secret for having only daughters? Josephine told me."

His eyes narrowed, and he spat out, "Before we married, I overheard a conversation about that. After listening to it, I decided that I still wanted to marry Millie, only I wanted to have two sons before any daughters were born. I have three brothers and no sisters, and my father has four brothers. I figured the old fashion way would get me, my boys. After two sons and Mary were born, I got snipped. I didn't want any more girls to fall under the wonderful 'Tradition' we have in this family."

The room exploded in sound, husbands arguing with wives. Jeff and Lois were yelling. Frank was glaring at Agnes through the tears in his eyes. Millie was crying and looked at Joe, but he wouldn't look at her.

"Quiet. Quiet!" I yelled. "You people are impossible. QUIET!"

They stopped talking and stared at my face; the women wanted to cut me up with kitchen knives, and the men wanting to disappear. "Joe, how could they ensure all newborn babies would be girls?"

"The conversation I overheard was between Agnes and Millie a month before we married. Agnes was explaining how the women in the family were able to give birth to only daughters. That was the story about the potion. Agnes said no one knew how it worked. She told Millie she had made a new batch when Lois wed, and something was wrong with it."

Agnes and Millie appeared to be very uncomfortable sitting on the sofa. Neither woman could sit still, with twitching fingers and tears on cheeks.

Joe continued, "Agnes continued speaking and told what happened when Lois used it on her wedding night. She got a bad rash between her legs that kept her and Jeff apart for three months. Agnes told Frank to take the potion to get it analyzed. She didn't tell him what for or why. Agnes then said until they had a safer drug, Millie would have to rely on another method of contraception."

Frank took over talking, "I was an inventor, not a chemist, and Agnes forgot that Joe was a chemist, so I called him and told him what I knew and paid for the lab and everything he needed. I didn't know he already knew what it was used for. He worked on it for two years before figuring it out. He gave me a report saying it was an aphrodisiac for women."

I was enjoying being the moderator in this tragedy.

"That's right, Joe. Your degrees were in Chemistry and Biochemistry." Agnes and Millie were staring at their feet, and I was enjoying every minute of this show and tell.

Joe was pacing as he spoke again, "It took two years for me to identify, create, and test the drug in trials. I made a change so it could be taken orally by the husband. As to how it works, I'm not a geneticist, but if I had to guess, there is something in the chemical mix that causes the XY chromosome sperm to die when it comes into contact with something in the cervix or ovaries. I would need ten years to isolate the reason why."

Millie was sobbing, seeing her husband glaring at her with hate in his eyes.

"I recruited and paid married women to use the drug on their husbands while trying to get pregnant. The trials were illegal but successful in 12 out of 13 trials before Lois married Jeff. I never told Frank the truth about the potion because he always talked about wanting a son. Unlike the women in this room, I didn't want to hurt him."

I had to ask, "Successful in 12 out of 13 trials?"

"12 daughters born, and one husband's death. That wife of the dead husband was giving him five to six times the daily dose. He died in his sleep after a month, and she was put away in a sanitarium. I was able to keep my name out of the investigation."

At this point, Millie lost it, and Agnes hugged and rocked her.

Joe continued, "I created the drug in a powder form to be mixed with water, and giving one drop a day to the husband seemed to work during the trials. I gave Frank a quart jar of the powder but kept the formula and got a patent on it."

Frank cut back into the conversation, "I gave the jar and new instructions to Agnes. But that was a year and a half after Joe married Millie."

Joe was sneering at Millie and Agnes, "She made me wear condoms, but I broke one on purpose three months after we wed, and nine months later, Tom was born. Three months after that, I broke another rubber, and John came into this screwed-up family. A year later, we had Mary. I'd say the drug worked as advertised."

"Mary, were you going to do that to me, the drops?"

She answered quietly, "I don't know."

At this point, Jeff was rocking back and forth, his face as pale as a slice of white bread, now knowing why he never had a son. Frank had moved farther away from Agnes.

"Millie, have you informed Tom and John that any girl they want to marry will have to sleep with Joe?"

"What the hell? Mom, did you talk to Jenny after graduation? She broke up with me three days later, babbling about incest and adultery in our house. I loved her and was going to propose. When I went to her house to talk, her father ordered me to leave his property. He called the cop's on me."

Tom was screaming and crying. "And the little blonde I brought home, Allison? We weren't serious, but she dumped me after our third date."

"Do you see now, Mary? After being told the truth, they run away." She tightened her grip on my waist.

Millie tried to save her relationship with her son, "Tom, I couldn't do that to you. I'm not a horrible person. Maybe one of our cousins told them?"

John stood up. "Mom, stop lying and confess. I've known what you did since I overheard you telling grandmother in your bedroom how you broke up Tom and Jenny."

John got choked up but finished, "I also heard you tell Grandma Agnes that when the time came, she would chase away anyone I brought over also."

He stopped to get ahold of his emotions. "That was the weekend I tried to kill myself. Do you remember that, Mother? You saw the empty pill bottle and made me throw up, but you didn't take me to the hospital. What kind of mother would keep her son home after a suicide attempt?"

Wow, Millie isn't going to win Mother of the year.

"Anyway, I haven't talked to a girl since then. I wasn't going to tell you my plans, but what the hell. I've accepted a job in Florida, and I am moving there next month. If I'm lucky, I'll find a girl to marry, and I'll never see you again." He turned and went upstairs.

Tom followed, then turned to his mother and said, "Was it because John and I might marry and have sons, or because you didn't want Dad to have the same fun you would get with Mary's fiancé?" He glared at his mother, over his shoulder, all the way upstairs.

"Tough luck Millie, two sons hate you. My hope is all three of your children will hate you before I leave today."

Millie and Agnes were both bawling, holding each other on the sofa. While waiting for them to calm down, I handed them the box of tissues sitting on the end table to dry up their tears. Finally, they separated and looked at me, wondering what was going to happen next.

"This one is for the ladies. Do you believe 'Tradition' is the most important thing in your life? Agnes, why don't you answer this one?"

"Well, yes, I do. There have been no divorces in the family and no affairs."

I, Henry, destroyer of family unity, think that the zero divorce record will be over in less than a year.

She continued, smugly, "We have plenty of happy children, and the wives keep the men happy in all ways. I think about what it means quite often. Yes, it is the most important aspect of my life."

"Happy children? Don't talk to John and Tom. The wives keep the men happy? Joe, Frank, Jeff, are you happy?"

All three looked like Jason, without his hockey mask hiding his ugly face.

Mary looked lost. "Mary, do you believe what Agnes said about the 'Tradition'?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I'm so confused."

"Good answer, Mary."

"One last question for the ladies, and this is the big one. Bert refused to marry because of his faith. Are you saying the family 'Tradition' is more important than God?"

Silence. The dreaded thousand-yard-stare broke out in the room. Embarrassment. Shock. I had asked the question, the one that a God-fearing 'Tradition' supporter couldn't answer. Agnes sat silently; I mean, what could she say?

"Mary Taylor, I don't know why I'm still here, except that I still love you and can't get you out of my heart. You haven't cheated on me, so I'm going to take a chance." She sobbed and hugged me harder.

"Will you elope with me Saturday? Then, as soon as school is over and our lease is up, we'll move to Martinsburg. I'll get my job back from my Dad, and you can teach there."

Without hesitation, she screamed, "Yes, Henry Winston, I will run away from this madness and elope."

"Then, as soon as we leave here, I'm calling Mom to explain why the wedding is off and to ask if they will let us stay with them while we look for a place to live. Sorry about the deposit on the VFW hall, Joe."

She nodded and turned toward her father, "I'm sorry, Daddy, that you won't get to walk me down the aisle."

"That's okay, pumpkin, Henry's right, fuck the tradition. It's a way for the women to control and cheat on their husbands. I'm going to put my papers in for retirement and buy a fishing boat down in Florida."

"Would you like some company on the boat?" Frank walked over to Joe and offered him a handshake.

I chuckled, "There you have it. All settled. You women feel free to cry, get drunk, and then get picked up at O'Malley's Bar. You can get all you want there."

"Henry, the exit is this way."

*****

We took our marriage license to the pastor at Hill Valley UMC, and he married us with Janet as a witness. We kept the status quo in Hill Valley until school was out. Then I quit my job with Major Insurance, and Mary didn't sign a new contract to teach.

We went on our honeymoon to Cancun after school was out, just like we planned. I found that Mary would now do anything I asked, even go to the topless beach. She never gave it a second thought, turned around to face me, and untied her top. By the time our honeymoon was over, we were exhausted and extremely happy. Unknown to me, Mary had stopped taking her birth control pills before we were married.

When we returned from our honeymoon, Frank and Joe couldn't help us move because they were in Fort Lauderdale with John and Tom. Jeff had resigned as Sheriff and disappeared. Maybe he's in Florida too?

We packed up, moved back to my hometown, and moved in with mom and dad until we could buy a house. My father hired me back, and Mary was interviewed and hired as a second-grade teacher. Life was good again.

I talked to Joe by phone and told him both he and Frank were welcome in our home anytime.

We may even let Millie visit our baby when he is born early next year, but only if my mom okays it. Yes, we know it's a boy, and my mother is very protective of Mary and me. After all, I am once again her only son. Goodbye Ted!

End of Story