All Comments on 'Fancy Dress'

this was an excellent story,worthy of a sequel

I really liked this one! I loved the seductive feel of it, and especially the way the vampire girl (Raven) treated Helena like the pretty Roman slave girl she was dressed as. I could picture in my mind this sexy, beautiful dark-haired vampire ordering the pretty blonde slave to strip for her, exposing her lovely body for her vampire mistress's pleasure and intimate attentions! Very nice!

Very, very nice. It had a nice overpowering sensation to the story which was very well carried out. Thank you.

erotic, this story is well told and almost excellently written. Your descriptive style is excellent in painting a scene and describing the many and various thoughts and feelings of your characters. The only thing that holds this story back is the general absence of commas. Without them, your adjectives, adverbs and gerund phrases mush together, leaving your reader to sort out the meaning of your otherwise excellent descriptions. Even so, it's a very hot story. Thanks for sharing it.

Last paragraph needs a chapter of it’s own. Seducing the roommate using whatever power Raven bestowed upon her