All Comments on 'Fantasy on Valentine's Day'

Capitalization mistakes, changes of tenses even within one sentence, grammar mistakes. Please use an editor for these reasons alone.

Thanks for reading, commenting and voting! This is my first submission. I know it needs work and also probably lots more details and more sex scenes but at this moment, I don't want to think about it anymore. If there is enough animo, maybe I fix it up.

I was glad to see this is your first submission so that excuses a lot of things. I think you have potential but the use of an editor would help. Don't let 3 stars discourage you. Keep writing.

needs a little refinement, but I really liked it! Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!