All Comments on 'February Really, Really Sucks'

I bet he never had an inkling what his simple story was about to spawn. Has there ever been another story that has been rehashed as much as this one? General ideas - yes. Whole story lines - not that I've ever read. This overwrought and overlong version added nothing to the mix. Hubby gets mashed, gets a divorce, finds someone else and is still angry years later. Yawn.......

I like the direction you took with this version of the story. There are many times where operational steps in the story are swapped.

Example: takes a morphine dose and then sends video files to the detectives.

It would be better to send the files and have the detectives leave. then hit the morphine to sleep.

This happens many times in the story. you just need to swap the order of events.

Next story read a sentence and picture it and repeat for the next sentence.

This will slow you down to see the issue.

5* for this version!

But I am ashamed to be a Canadian like you when I see the lack of spelling, grammar, syntax and PROOF READING

Seems this took place in Saddletramps universe where anything can and will happen. The evidence Jim gathers from his home security system seems to have both video and audio capabilities, allowing him to record her confession to Dee and Dave about what really happened. Grainy, jerky video maybe, crystal clear audio? Not happening. Also, we are in the midst of an infamous 'Alberta Clipper' with forty mile an hour winds and subzero wind chills and the Judge is interrupted on 'the second tee'? An indoor golf course perhaps?

While hoping this story had finished with so many follow ups I think this one was brilliant and easily deserved 5 stars. However, I really hope this is the final story in this saga.

PKenny5860

I have to say that I am wary when approaching alternate takes on a classic such as GAs"February Sucks". But I have to admit that your contribution to the mythos used an original plot line as to the revenge twist. Cheers for that!

So we have another version of that story, why?

It wouldn't be bad if it was a decent plot but for some reason people seem fixated on the most rediculous storyline to appear on this site, please, no more.

As for this effort I found it lazy and frankly boring, I actually skipped large portions and still understood what was going on. It was quite well written but not what I expected on an erotic story site. I'd have been more impressed if the author could be arsed to think of his own plot but we had the same old same old. It's not as though the original was particularly good given that it was based on such an unbelievable and stupid idea. This version could have been used in almost any cheating wife story so why not put in the effort to think of something more original. It seems to be five pages of nothing and an attempt to please the BTB brigade.

Why nothing about the collusion between the football star and destruction of evidence at the restaurant?

Seems that would result in a number of criminal charges but more importantly to the husband, a major settlement for the parts played by its employees.

Their culpability should set him up for a huge cash windfall that would inflict even more pain on former friends, football cohorts and ex-wife when they were publicly outed.

Maybe even the sale or closure of the establishment.

Interesting take on another storyline perhaps.

It was okay, but focused too much on the police prosecution, rather than Jim and Linda.

You added Jim getting hospitalised making her betrayal even worse, but Linda only doing 6 months seemed a small price to pay for him having permanent injuries.

Probably the best of all the endings. Pay little attention to the idiots who whine about everything. Please keep writing.

A good premis but could have done with a bit of proof reading and editing.

Land Rover Defender or Range Rover?

Did she arrive home at 1:00pm or was it mid-morning?

And the word is 'complicit'.

Not a bad story despite my gripe, however.

...and had the most unique plot line from the club and on. Bravo.

I just had trouble with the shifting POV.

A female cannot be addressed as an Esquire!

Way too many copies of this story. However - I think this was the best of all of them. Bravo!! 4*

this story was a hot mess. It seemed as if Archie Bunker wrote it. You constantly used wrong words, switched tenses, repeated facts several times before changing them entirely. You began in first person. The a guy was able to tell what others were thinking and saying while they were far removed from him. Then the cop became the first person. Narrative became the POV of choice, at least off and on. How about "they decided to be complacent" when it would seem you were looking for "complicit". You achieved the results readers long for, but went way off the rails during the journey.

Deciding to lie about dancing with Marc and claiming she spent the night at the hotel were the actions of an idiot when she knew the cops could easily prove she lied. She knew it was Jim in the parking lot, she was surprised it was Jim, she feared it was Jim, she recognized his suit, yet leaving her husband injured and bleeding on the pavement seemed a reasonable price to pay for a good fuck? Who knew he would hold it against her? This was a hoot.

I like your over tne top story. However, i can't believe Linda would leave Jim on the ground after aeeing him run down. The lawyer works for a firm that represenys a mobster, but doesn't have a cr8minal defenwe division? Not realistic. Please get an editor who will fix misspellings (rift raff instead of riffraff) and improper wordchoices (complacent instead of complicit).

Marc hitting Jim with his car in the nightclub parking lot is a new and imaginative twist on GA's original story. Unfortunately, the story fails to fully capitalize on the promise that variation offers. The narrative is riddled with confusing and problematic sentence structures. I have the impression the story was written in several discrete sections and the author had difficulty merging them. An editor would have been of great use in these areas.

This variant provides Linda many more chances to betray her husband in a multitude of ways. It seems a bit extreme that she avails herself of every opportunity to choose Marc over Jim even after she knows with certainty her lover intentionally caused serious injury to the loving father of her children. The series of choices she makes in this story show her to be an amoral narcissist with a strong psychopathic inclination. Jim's only reasonable response here is to seek legal protection for his children from her pathological influence until each is at least 18 years old. Jim would be insane to encourage his children to have a relationship with anyone involved in a conspiracy to murder their father.

The last of my feedback is similarly based on the plot's failure to acknowledge the severity of some characters' depicted actions. By my count, Linda is guilty of at least four felonies, including Conspiracy to Commit Murder and Obstruction of Justice. Even as a cooperating witness, in the US she would be imprisoned for far more than 6 months and would be on probation for years following her release from confinement. I stopped counting Quinn's felonies when I reached seven, including Attempted First Degree Murder and two separate counts of Conspiracy to Commit Murder. Quinn could easily receive a life sentence and the prosecution has a strong likelihood of convincing a jury of Marc's guilt in the second murder attempt without Quinn's assistance. It is hard to imagine Quinn serving less than 10 years in prison.

I enjoyed the story despite these issues and truly do see within it one of the best variants of the FS core structure. My thanks to PKenny for submitting his work to Literotica.

ENOUGH already!!!! This so called 'story' has been done to death!!! It wasn't that great by the original writer. Time lit put a stop to the February Sucks diarrhoea!

Let’s face it this was better than some and worse than others. Did we really need a page of the original at the start, pretty certain every reader on this site knows that particular bit of February Sucks off by heart.

It seems that GA created the gift that keeps on giving, a literary dose of herpes if you will. But at least with a literal dose of STD there was probably some pleasure accompanying gift.

As an aside, the author would do well to give any story a couple of proof reads to pick up errors, once released to the ether you’re gonna get comments not necessarily constructive. Just like this one.

No used condom for you

Doesn't make a lot of sense. She realizes that her husband, the father of her two children, has been hit by a car and is lying on the ground, but leaves him there injured because she wants to get laid? A prominent professional athlete claims to have never been at the club despite dozens of eyewitnesses, and Linda puts herself at legal risk and supports his completely implausible story because she might want to fuck him again? Come on.

laid - something that you have done to someone or something else - I laid the table, I laid my wife on the bed

lay - something you did to yourself - I lay on the bed, I lay my head on her lap

/

my slightly a skewed prone body - askew - my slightly askewed prone body

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watched in object horror - abject

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photogs? photographers? photo journalists?

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little lone called any of them friends - let alone

/

During the call with the judge it flicked into present tense for moment.

Writing in 1st person, you cannot know the thoughts of another unless they tell you.

When describing what Linda told Dee 'she failed to mention...' so how do you know?

In the car Linda got messages from Marc how do you know what they were?

How do you know that she remembered how wonderful the sex with Marc was?

/

From Linda's telling, the club manager is now an accessory to any charges brought, potentially perverting the course of justice and purgery and if Dave and Dee don't report it are also.

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Knowing in your heart but pushing that feeling down is one thing, but once you are told outright it's the man you supposedly love bent and broken... well I think a psychiatric report is needed as she wasn't in her right mind.

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Dave and Dee didn't originally have kids, you would have been better saying that Jane called and said...

/

serious chops - that phrase, I don't think it means what you think it does...

/

I wondered what in the hell was Linda doing. But he has already said this when their 'friends' visited the day before and he saw Linda say it at the house that morning.

I think the bang on the head was harder than the Drs think.

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it implemented the cheating whore - implicated

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She knew what had happened to me or at least suspected as much as she had told Dee - but she told Dee that Marc had told her it was her husband.

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Peters saw that she was shaken but determined to stick to her story. He was certain that she had cooked up this story with Marc LaValliere to lie and say that he was no where near the nightclub.

Of course he's certain as he has CCTV of her leaving the club with Marc.

/

Did the hospital try to reach Linda? I know you said something about fantasy laws, but in the real world, lieing to her during an interview would end any chance of a prosecution.

/

When did they get the phones to 'dump'? Marc had sent Linda a load of messages after the morning BJ (I guess or he would have told her, no?) and there is no mention of Linda's phone being taken or asked for during the interview.

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he told the police that he didn't realize he had hit anyone

The police said that he had reported his car stolen and if he didn't realise he his anyone, he must have realised that leaving his car in the club car park would imply that he had been there the night before.

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Ignoring the jumping about of timelines - complacent? Yes she was, but I think you mean complicit...

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your police - you're, you are.

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Marc is being arrested for attempted murder... or at least brought in for questioning and he is allowed out of the officers' sight?

And Elaine waiting until Andy got to the station to tell him of the intercept?

Presumably after the threats in the texts from Marc there are officers already watching Jim? Ah no, and it's being left with hospital security to deal with...hmmm

/

Andy the detective, Jim Andrews, a bit confusing. Even more when you switch between Jim and Andrews when referring to Jim and even more when you get the name wrong and call him Jim Anderson.

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Esq? Do you know what this means? You have given the title to both lawyers as if it is some sort of legal qualification. All it means is a property owner.

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live or death emergency

life or death emergency

/

Well you certainly did run fast and loose on the legal side of things.

/

Linda was put into room 1, Marc was in room 4.

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Having shifted to 3rd person for everything at the police station, you shift back into 1st person during the interview with Linda. And then you jump back and forth a couple of times.

/

It's a new and novel approach to the February sucks saga, for that you need credit.

But the basic errors in punctuation, grammar, style, consistency and logic ruin it. Your characters all seem to have short term memory issues which makes them very weak and unbelievable.

There is a lot of repetition, eg rather than repeat all of what you heard Linda say, just say "I told the detective what I saw on the cameras earlier."

I get the feeling you use words and phrases that you think will make the prose sound better, but misued have the opposite effect.

Even in a fictional world, things need to have logic to them. This story wasn't written in a fantasy world or the future it was based in one similar to our real world. The difference between fact, fiction and fantasy.

You seem to have a decent imagination, but you do need help tying it all together into a decently worded and ordered story.

First anonymous who has not seen a story written that had so many rewrites, read nici story Something To Talk About and revisions. I read all of the story,(sic) and it seems you wrote two slightly different versions and left it if you had a good proof reader this would have been eliminated. I have to give it a 3 as the plot changes destroyed my suspension.

This version of the story is probably the furthest from the original. The characters are completely unrecognizable. Marc LaValliere has progressed from being a jock/jerk/asshole to an attempted murderer not once but twice. This version is proof that the story needs to be put to rest. Sorry just 2 * not up to your usual standards also please look through the story a little better. It's LIFE and death situation not live and death situation. And riffraff not rift raff there were several more but they were the most prominent.

As a stand alone story, it would have kind of worked. A few too many moving parts though. As a continuation of GA’s original story, it doesn’t work at all. This plot completely changes Linda’s character. GA’s portrayal of Linda has her as a woman that would have never seen her husband lying on the ground after being run over and just left the scene. No Martian slut ray is powerful enough for that.

I have read and enjoyed all of the different twist Several writers have put on this story. It amazes me the people that complain about the new stories. It's really simple, don't read them if you don't like them. Keep them coming.

No way a plea deal for attempted murder. They had enough with evidence and the wife's testimony.

But i do hope this is the end of thia line of story. In fairness, this was a great read apart from the original story. Keep it up!

I enjoyed reading this story and find myself in agreement with both 'Tajfa' and 'Youami' Had the original been this enjoyable and balanced I doubt it would have stirred up all the 'follow-ups' This story is a good, complete and finished story The original was like a cheap tabloid headline! I saw a lot of comments regarding the original regarding how it stirred emotions and created deep feelings... so did concentration camps and school shootings but neither were accounts that decent people could consider worthy entertainment. This was a story not just a cheap headline like G.A's original offering. Thank You 'PKenny5860' 5*****

Like many of the earlier commenters, I found this one insultingly error-prone. Numerous glitches, like "live or death" and evidence that "implemented" someone in a crime, together with the fact that Jim Andrews had a name change halfway through, apparently having been adopted by the original author, and then changing his mind and returning to the Andres surname tell us the writer was not invested enough in this effort to proof read it even one time. I realize that all the catastrophes that followed the events of Feb. 29 were red meat to the vilest of the BTB crowd, but for me they were being punished for their awful lives but only Linda herself suffered directly from her behavior that night. Anyway, the overall writing skill shown was enough to move me up one notch from the one star "hate it " rating I had initially contemplated.

Here's my problem with a lot of these retellings of this classic Lit story. The husband should be knighted for sainthood. He's above reproach in every aspect. It just doesn't read as very realistic.

Seriously! After what she did! You truly scare me

It was pretty good. I needed a larger dose of suspended disbelief when the detective is determining plea deals instead of the District Attorney, but.... otherwise it was surprisingly good.

I also think this horse has been flogged enough.

In this case, there was simply too much that didn’t make sense. Linda left for a night of wonderful sex (for her) but began with a blow job before leaving the parking lot? And did him again in her driveway at the end? Did he ever do anything for her pleasure? I’m neither an attorney or a law enforcement officer, but based on news reports I find it difficult to believe that detectives would reach firm conclusions about an investigation or tell a victim that their investigation was almost concluded within 24 hours, nor that the police (rather than the DA‘s office) would be authorised to make a offer a plea deal that had not been already cleared by the DA. I think it improbable that a patient hours after surgery and on a steady dose of morphine would be as lucid as the victim in this story. And I find the prompt bribing of a club owner and the involvement of a crime family within hours most unlikely. Stories need to be believable if readers are to be engaged in the story. This wasn’t.

It must be covid or something that is causing so many versions of this story. This one at least added an entirely new twist to it but at some point there has to be a new template to start using.... please.

OMFG, somebody PLEASE, make it STAHHPPP! This story of a dick and its victims has been beaten to death, like the huge, legendary preserved dicks of Rasputin and John Dillinger; these stories are no longer wanted or needed. This version is far from the worst one, but it's past the point of reader fucks being given. It is just irritating now and no matter how good a spin someone puts on the ending, it doesn't alleviate the production of bile caused by that irritation.

The original story was over the top, but it pushed buttons in me and I found myself enraged by it. That's a good thing. You added the hit and run feature, which was even more over the top. However, then you turned it into a first-class crime story and I enjoyed that very much! It's a great story. Thanks for sharing it.

"Andy, I know your police not sanitation but could you do me a favor and haul this piece of garbage away!"

The idea of the accident could have led to an interesting version if Linda had run to Jim when he was hit. The "leaving the scene of the accident" and subsequent attempt at "cover up" was, unfortunately, simply ridiculous. Like the original, the character development and plot are a complete "fail".

This author has done better. I hope he keeps writing.

An original ending. Thank you.

this is the best rewrite of feb. sucks .

try to kill a man go to jail for 6 months. proof the american 3rd world justice system,

and IRS, all about punishing honest law abiding tax paying human beings. As proven by the 3rd world elected politicians. Long live "DONALD TRUMP", may run again in 4 years.The world needs to be rid of the 3rd world catolic societies.

An excellent amendment. 5

Why do these stories have to be so ridiculously over the top? It's a good thing Batman never encountered such a band of totally evil people, he'd never have stood a chance.

Having read them all, this one started out well but than hit the skids. Linda got sent to jail for six months for lying?, that's a stretch. Hit and run, attempted murder?. Like I said at the outset way to complicated.

I hate any story that allows her to disrespect her husband by leaving with Mark.... Period.

I really liked this continuation and the outcome for all concerned. It is good to have at least one likable character in a story.

Scored it a five.

One of the best Feb Suck take offs

That really was a different route to take on this story topic. I appreciated the way you laid the plot out and brought different elements into it. Thank you. Top marks.

DogFuzz

.

we figured it out, just rather annoying.

Can't remember the other author but this is only the second one I've enjoyed rather than the dozen or so others that sucked.

I am not going to even rate this one....please...anyone reading this.....if you are a lit author...stop the Feb Madness syndrome

Why the texts setting up their story when they had already done that before he took her home?

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"He also texted her told her he told the police that he didn't realize he had hit anyone." - That makes no sense since he was home and his car was stolen!

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Marc is right about one thing - she cold have stayed with Jim when Marc went back into the club, chose to go with Marc anyway.

/

I think as a detective Elaine should have known on her own to order protection for Jim even before relaying the info to Andy.

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"the text to Rockwood" - It was a call to Rockwood. You said that twice.

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"Before they entered room #4" - Linda was in room #1, Marc was in #4.

/

For the most part, a pretty good variation on the original, but you crossed yourself up with many details, like the calls/texts and room numbers.

Good attempt at this story. Thanks.

The prose is stilted and sometimes outright confusing; a competent editor would help. The dialogue is unrealistic and overly dramatic. Ask yourself if people really talk the way you present them. Finally, I don't agree with others who say this treatment was reasonable and/or better- in my mind, your characters were too inconsistent and you stretched too far from the original, although I'm sympathetic to your view of things.

My first thought was:- Not another one.

Then I read some and thought:- WHY???

This one added nothing. Plain bloody silly. We are expected to believe that the police would ignore a car, with an absentee driver, that was crashed into two other cars, with a badly injured man on the floor? Anyone could think that the local football hero could claim not to have been there, in front of a great number of witnesses? And the crashed car being his? There's more. What a waste of time. Next time create your own story and leave the good stuff to be enjoyed.

You really need an editor. It is complicit and not complacent. Felonies are where sentences are a year or more. Words and punctuation are incorrect in places and can change the meaning of the story.

Great followup story with a new twist.

This elaboration on the original leaves much to be desired: No need to repeat from the original, though I suppose those familiar with original could skip the italicized part, the tale is wildly complicated and hardly believable, there is nothing erotic about the tale, and the characters bear little resemblance to original cast. Personally, if you want an enticing, highly erotic, unpredictable, rather bizarre, well crafted take on the original read Kalimaxos’s February Sucks - Linda’s Choices (3 chapters well worth reading).

One of few decent adaptations turning it into a crime drama.

At least in this one the husband tried to stop it all and you contrived a way for the cheating to still occur despite his efforts.

Weird problems with first-person / third-person (Jim is the narrator but Det. Andy slipped in and out of first-person toward the end)

Good take on what is becoming a classic. Screw those who say

"no more!" I'd like another dozen takes. 5*

Along with several other readers I am saturated with rewrites of this story. And this was undoubtedly the worst! The narrator switches from one person to another with no announcement. The grammar is lousy and the plot ridiculous. I gave the first installment a high rating, but then it consisted mostly of the original story. The second one got a 2* and that was generous. I, too, do not understand why this particular story has attracted so many sequels. I wish the original author would stop giving out OK's to write them.

with your expansion. An original ending to what would otherwise be a much smaller twist.

Thank you.

Yes there are a lot of these stories going around. But I got to say that this is one of the best stories I’ve read in these February sucks theme . The story really does show that you have put a lot of effort into this story and it has paid off . And have got to say well done because on this site it is hard to prove yourself. It shows that you have put everything into your story and it shows that you have stood up and basically said come on and read my story it’s better than anyone’s . And it was so well done can’t wait to read more of these types of stories from you. So big thank you for sharing your story with me and others .

While dramatic and riveting, the evolution of the plot was ridiculous. The husband should have tried to convince the whore to kill herself properly. Everything else was some snowflake attempt at even handedness. What a sentimental farce.

Too bad.. The effort to be gracious became proof that the husband was a tool. No wonder the wife wanted the chance to fuck a real man, for a change.

Thanks for the effort.

One of the better efforts. The brain dead callousness of the wife was not really believable, but it is fiction and it’s your story. I enjoyed it

I have tried securing editors but have as yet to receive a response to requests. It is tough to self edit because the mind will "see" the missing word, wrong variation or spelling. Sometimes the program does auto correct even after you have made changes. I take full responsibility for all of the incorrect word choices, grammatical, spelling and errors in syntax. If anyone of you anonymous commenters with perfect writing skills would care to volunteer, you are always welcome to share your insight. I am happy to send some my works in progress to you.

5*'s... and probably the best February Sucks story... and hopefully the last, LOL.

A different take, I liked it. I however did not like the closing paragraphs dealing with the kids and their criminal mother.

Why the fuck would you be nice to her and encourage the kids to see her as a nice person when the truth is she isn’t. Linda is truly ugly. She caused the entire mess in her family, never regrets it, and in the end she gets off way to lightly.

The truth would be far different to fiction.

The husband would hate the bitch and so would the kids. Why wouldn’t they?

Protecting the mother in the story is just so much bullshit and a lot of authors here do it. God knows why.

The ending where Linda is rehabilitated in her kids eyes with Dads help was the difference between this good story being a 5/5 instead of the 3/5 I gave it.

Loved it! One of the very best of the spin offs from Robert Anderson's Classic .

So some of this read ok but some of it was awful. A Land Rover Discovery is not a Range Rover, they are two different cars (although both made by LR). His attorney woke the judge on a Sunday morning, next sentence she cornered him on the 2nd tee...in a freezing gale force wind..It wasn't so badly written just complete lack of editing and proof reading. My own fault I said I wouldn't read anymore of GA's horrible little bastards...but it seems addictive. Time for another Glenmorangie methinks. Thanks for the effort, there is a storyteller in there just get an editor..

I gave the story five stars because I enjoyed it so much. However, I do hope that PKenny learns the difference between complacency and complicity as well as implementation and implication. I do hope I'm not being too pedantic.

Good twist to story, but as others said, really needs editing.

Another thing, I don't like cuck stories so i don't usually read them. If I do happen to read one and don't like it I don't rate it or comment on it. I don't understand why so many people that don't like February Sucks stories read them and then comment negatively on them. They always say February Sucks as part of the title so why do you bother?

as they distracted from the pace of the story. Not a bad effort, however.

I strive to not bother with negative feedback and only rarely provide positive criticism. Having said that this was absolute drivel and worse than the original. I have not read any of your erotica but please stick to that and avoid police procedurals. Also, an editor couldn't hurt.

I think that i have asked this before but I don't think it can be a ray, it has to me more like a pulse weapon oooh or maybe a sonic weapon. Yes, the slut ray has to he sonic because otherwise someone would actually see it. Yes Sonic Slut-ifier. Those Martians certainly have a problem with women. They not only turn happy wives into whores but murder accomplices too.

There is just so much ridiculous unbelievable nonsense here. She is married band has children, she loves her husband and wants a special night with him.

Yet We are to believe that a local sport celebrity shows up and she is going to not only abandoned her husband publicly and shame him but she is also going to leave him dead or dying on the ground just because she needs that celebrity cock?

I don't know what is worse this asinine tale or the commenters who are celebrating it like it's some great work. Babbling idiots.

It's easy to write a story where the antagonistic characters are unbelievably stupid and the protagonists and supporting "good guys" have everything they need unrealistically fall into their laps. And that the facts about the legal system, the criminal justice system and the operations of a professional football team can be completely ignored to justify the plot for the convenience of the story. The only challenge at this point would be to construct the the tale with sound writing and style. Sadly, that was the worse part of it.

What did I love about it? The bad ass judge teeing off on the 2nd hole on a weekend that had below freezing weather and 40mph winds. That was awesome!

That original judge must've been a hell of a man, because they found him on the second tee, in the midst of an Alberta Clipper! Also, for DNA, why didn't they just search the marital home and recover her underwear and clothes from the night before? Finally, police officers can't make deals. You referred to the DA and the ADA, and they would've been intimately involved in dealing with the "fixer", especially in an attempted murder-for-hire scheme. No, even with a deal, dude would've punched a double-digit. Decent story!

In this version everyone had IQ in the retarded range:

1. Marc knows there is a room full of people that saw him, but somehow tells the cops that he was never there. In fact, Marc in the same text sequence to Linda tells her that he told the cops his car was stolen and he was home all night, AND that he never realized he had hit someone. "His story was his vehicle was stolen and he had been home alone all evening and never set foot in the club...He also texted her told her he told the police that he didn't realize he had hit anyone."

2. Jim obviously must be a retard as well. In GA's story while it was hard for me to believe that Linda could leave with Marc that night the way Jim had described her, but it was possible as Linda said she felt she was under the influence of a dominant personality and she was really turned on. In this story Linda is a complete psychopath. Her husband is, at least, badly injured if not dying, but she still goes off to fuck Marc. How does this make Jim retarded? How could he be married to a psychopath for 10 years and not realize it?

3. The hospital officer was retarded for false imprisoning/kidnapping of Linda by locking her up in that room for a full hour. And was it because she was a lunatic murderer? No, at that point she was merely a WITNESS to a possible hit and run accident.

4. The legal stuff was completely a mess.

GA's story for me was a classic and powerful. The amount of reaction to it is testament to that. I had a major problem with the reconciliation, but that didn't deviate for me the quality of the writing, the story, and the cool lines in the story. However, I guess they say one must know their audience. Present this story and GA's story to the general public and have them score it, GA's story would rate very highly and this one not so much. In LW, if the cheating wife and her lover, are burned, it doesn't matter the quality of the story, the ridiculousness of it, the plausibility of it. Only one aspect is scored; did the bitch get it. To me that says more about the audience than the author or the story.

I'm not a DA, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once. Sorry, I love that commercial. I'm pretty sure here in the states that police detectives can't offer plea deals, only the DA.

Still having been one of the bums that wrote a story WITH GEORGE ANDERSON'S permission, I congratulate you, and I hope many more take a crack at this (better than the cuck stories here lately).

Finally, a version worthy of praise! Well done, 5 stars*****!

Outstanding and well done.

Thanks

But I don't buy a spouse of ten+ years leaving her near dead husband injured on the frozen sidewalk. The rest of the story was well written but there was a major disconnect in believability when Linda left her husband for dead!

The original was horrible to the point of nausea. Real people aren't as stupid as these characters, are they? Judging by the responses, smany readers identify with them.

I will give you credit, however, for creating an interesting twist that, even though it is totally cringe worthy, did entertain.

I don't mind all the sequels to GA's original. This one comes very close to the way I imagine Linda, and the entitled asshole Marc. I like the way the attempted murder case fell right into the detective's laps, and the evidence kept growing until all the bad guys were put away. Best revenge in a sequel so far, but I'm hoping for one where Marc is a victim of a righteous , honor killing. Athletes don't seem to get a free pass now, like they used to. The development of the smart phone has made everyone Paparazzi, and it's difficult to hide bad behavior . People seem to take delight in laying those of fame and privilege low, and someone acting like our Marc wouldn't last long before he caught one. You did a good job on this one. I hated to see it end.

Did this story get such a high score? Implausible plot, stilted dialog, switching from first to third person, switching from Jim speaking in the first person to Andy speaking in the first person, plot holes galore, misused words (she was complicit, not complacent; it’s “let alone” not “a little alone”.) Just a bad, bad story.

Well this was over the top!

Linda was portrayed as a psychopath but that isn't that far off from the original.

This was very entertaining however so 4* and thanks!

I think I'm mental because I keep reading these damn things!😳

The biggest pluses in this version:

— Jim goes right after them, and forces them to injure him (and he could have died). This triggered the whole different legal storyline.

— Asshole pays a huge price for his behavior.

— Linda, who seems to have been repeatedly hit by the Martian Slut Ray, loses big time.

Overall....maybe in top half of all of the versions. 3***

I enjoyed the read & loved that marc got his justice

I witnessed a car pull up to the front entrance and watched in object horror as the asshole and my wife piled into the car and sped away.

Nope, stopped there. Dont care where it went, it sort of ruined the whole foundation of the original.

Please kids no more. This is getting as common as the horribly written cuck stories this week.

Can't we kill this thing? It keeps getting worse.

One of the better variations. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

enjoyed the read, it was interesting. plot overall was good, just need to tweak the finer details. liked that Jim got injured, imo it's a necessary plot point to get back at Marc.

was a bit disappointed that you set up Lana as an attractive cop but didn't lead on to a romance with Jim.

not a fan of how you shut out Linda at the end, I would've preferred to see her go through life with regret and bitterness.

main two criticisms were the same as other people; inconsistency with details; and your vocab.

Very interesting and fresh view on the original story but I also think it's time to let it rest now. I liked it very much. I also liked the one with Linda's choice of her husband refusing to dance with Marc. It's like thinking out of the box whereas the others followed more the same theme as the original.

Congratulations!

Twenty seven said it for me. This one had all the nuance of a sledgehammer and and the credibility of Q-Anon. Much worse than the mediocre original. How is it that the ideal wife becomes a murderous monster in the space of about 90 minutes? The author doesn’t even attempt an explanation. Give this thing a decent Christian burial.

i enjoyed the read too. I gave you 5* but found this Linda a little hard to believe. it's not just you, its the premise of the story of these two leading up to her leaving. Almost too magically in love, even that evening and the plans for that weekend, but her reaction after the accident is what is hard to believe. She doesn't go from giving him a hummer, to seeing her husband hurt in the snow, to saying f*ck it, I'm still going to have my night of pleasure, let him find his own ambulance to the hospital.

Linda, Linda, Linda, Linda Linda when are you going to learn. Reading all these versions is like watching the Lit version of Groundhog day. When will you learn Linda that there is only one scenario where you can win & come out ahead. Just like when in Avengers Endgame, Dr Strange told Tony Stark that out of something like 4 quaddrillion scenarios, there was only one where they win & defeat Thanos. How many times will it take Linda, how many times.....

Judge was at the golf course in March, after a big snow? Still best February story!