February Sucks Balls: Ault Ending

Linda watched in horror as the news went on. She had thought that maybe she had a future with the asshole, now she knew better. Throughout the day reports kept coming in, "The injury to his leg would end his career." "The injury to his groin area was so severe they had to amputate his testicles," and finally, "Marc LaValliere will be held in custody for attempted murder."

I went in and got on Facebook and my new friend had sent me a message that just said, Thank you.

Linda, like the fool she had become, tried to take her own life because she was sure it was now over. Her biggest problem was she forgot we were home also. I called 911 and they got there in plenty of time to save her. She spent the next five weeks in the mental ward. She lost her job and when she was let out she moved back in with her mom and dad.

In our state there was no alienation of affection actions that could be taken, so a local lawyer (buzzard) decided to file a class action lawsuit against Marc LaValliere and his charity for failure to treat someone's wife right. Yeah, I know, there is no such action, until now. Over two hundred husbands joined in on it. No, I didn't, I didn't need anyone asking me questions.

When it went before the judge, he awarded each party $100,000.00 each plus the lawyer's fees. Marc LaValliere's charity went broke; all his personal possessions had to be sold, leaving him with about $10,000.00 to show for all his work. Seeing as he couldn't play ball anymore (in more ways than one), he packed up what little he had left and rode the Greyhound back to his hometown and his parents' basement.

I waited until the last week in August to get even with the band leader. It was a Friday night and the kids were staying at their grandparents with Linda. I was sitting outside the Chez Pierre at 1am. The band came out and loaded up their instruments into a van and had a smoke together. When the smokes went out they separated for their own cars.

The band leader's car was one down from my truck, as he got close enough; I stepped out of the dark and zapped him with my taser. I caught him as he dropped and dragged him back behind the cars and put a ball gag in his mouth.

As he started to come around, I said to him, "You shouldn't have ever made a deal with the Devil." I took a baseball bat and destroyed both of his hands. He'd never play an instrument or conduct ever again. When I pulled out of the parking lot I went the opposite way so he wouldn't see the truck.

They found him later that night and rushed him to the hospital, but they couldn't do anything for his hands. The police asked if he knew who did it and all he could say was, "Somebody who didn't like the Devil."

I got custody of the kids so when the divorce was final the only time I saw Linda was when I dropped the kids off or picked them up. My life outside only happened on those weekends. I wasn't looking for a replacement so I had a steady string of one night stands.

I understood Linda went out a few time with the old group, but when two of the husbands started to try and see her by themselves it led to three more divorces. Linda's parents gave her the old, 'If you're going to act like that, find another place to live.' With the low paying job she had it was better to give up than move out. One of the divorces was Dee and Dave after Dee gave him Gonorrhea.

When I look back on the last year, my biggest regret is not having acted faster that night. I should have just grabbed her hand and said no to him. I should have slapped Dee and Jane's hands away and gone and taken her off the dance floor. I should have gone looking for her that night and lit up his house and burned him then.

What I did get though was the fun of destroying the asshole's life in the end. I think about Linda all the time but until she wises up and figures out what she did wrong, we will just be two ships going in opposite directions. As far as next Valentines Day, I think I'll just stay home with the kids and watch 'Frozen' and now 'Frozen 2'.