All Comments on 'February Sucks - My Sequel'

I just read my analysis from months ago. Still agree with every word. Four stars.

JPB

I skipped over a lot of the unnecessary paragraphs, and especially towards the end.you tried to make everyone like the ending. You failed miserably.

You have excellent writing skills and your version is pretty good. The ending felt bit rushed.

To the curb! Build the house and move the trash back in? WTF! Reverse the vasectomy and breed the bejeebers out of her!

This really didn’t anything new or maybe all the other guys are copying this writer. Sure had a lot of words tho. Admittedly the whole storyline is a fantasy, but all the words about angst got on my nerves. I ended up skipping whole paragraphs that just didn’t need to be written. Lastly, it’s kind of a fail when you wish the main character had succeeded at killing himself. I’m pretty sure Linda was sorry he didn’t get the job done.

Nop

Usually I don't mind reconciliation if the wife realizes what harm she has done. It took her too long to get there. She had to lose what she held most dear, her marriage, not her husband.

I still haven't been able to bring myself to read this whole thing, but it's still too close to a RAAC for me.

carvohi, thanks for creating a unique take on GA's FS story. I was in suspense over where the plot was headed all through my reading.

Meanwhile, I was confused by much of the 10 pages of content: too many irrelevant details. For example, why make a pointed comment about security cameras in both houses if it NEVER advances either the plot or character development. That's called needless fluff. Same for introducing sister Mallory as the planned adoption parent, then simply forgetting about it. Same for the drug details and other nonsense, etc. etc.

Also, the story ends with zero sense of "justice" for any bad behavior or shit-head people. The seducing jock simply enjoys his successes and stellar reputation. The (one-time?) slut gets back 90% of what she had before her despicable abandonment of her "till death do us part" mate. Dee plays the part of "devil on her shoulder" with no repercussions. The only character that gets a real shafting is the true seduction victim, our MC.

While reasonably well written, a proofreader would have made this dramatically easier to read. Please also do an internet search: "lie versus lay". Like 90% of other Lit authors, you get it wrong almost 100% of the time.

Thanks again for your efforts - you are head and shoulders above my skill levels in providing entertaining stories here on Lit.

Keep 'em comin'!

So, he literally became a cuckold, raising another man's child. And after the things she did and said... I don't know.

How after 9.5 pages of setting up to leave Linda does Linda get to come back in a few paragraphs? It’s a wasted ending after a great plot. Nice to see a different LW character though.

Yes, Jim was a pussy....he stopped drinking, he even sold all his guns because the cheating slut said to. Damn how can he ever hold his head up and look other men in the eyes? He can't. Maybe he should have committed suicide he would have been a lot better off.

esta version de Jim se merece todas las cosas malas que le pasan.

historia aparte es la hermana....un personaje de mierda! ... excelente ahi autor.

I gave it a 4 because the first 9 pages were ok, but page 10 was abysmal.

It was okay. The ending sucked. It was pretty meandering and didn't always hand together well. Brought in elements that seemed to go somewhere sometimes but ended in dead ends.

Last page was a huge turnaround, and was the main reason why it sucked.

Also, the asshole's offspring is now going to inherit part of Jim's family's riches. How fucked is that.

Best version yet. Great imagination and writing. Wolf cub gnawed at my guts also. It was torture liken unto Prometheus chained. (Did Helen of Troy ever regret?)

WTF?????

I've just wasted an hour of my life wading through this meandering crap, it should have a health warning on it.