All Comments on 'February's Future'

Good story!

4

Ruined it in the last two paragraphs. 😒 3☆

I agree with carindennis: The last two paragraphs ruined it.

Spoiled in places by poor editing for spelling and syntax and I agree the ending was not good.

Fantastic story. But I was left less than fulfilled with the last 2 paragraphs. Still 5stars

Difficult to find a new twist in this well explored story plot, but you managed it well, kudos.

I agree with previous comments that the end was a bit rushed, but it leaves the door open for a sequel. Well done.

Why spoil a good story? It shows great imagination but there are a lot of typos that an editor would pick up. It was heading for a 5 but the ending made it a 4 for me.

Nice concept!

The typos were ok they only slowed the story down a little. A twist on a well used plot, you can warp any story with time travel, making anything seem possible. Over all a very enjoyable story.

Not really a fan of time travel stories, as there are always some sloppy or erroneous modification concepts.

It requires a huge amount of analytical work to spot the slightest repercussions of the smallest event on each other like dominoes.

I understand that this can be a challenge for an author.

Bravo for your effort.

Excellent!. I love time travel stories. Who would have thought to apply time travel to FS! I’m also a sucker for HEAs. This has to be one of my very favorites of all the FS iterations. A smile to start my day. Thanks very much.

Good story-loved the build up. The ending not so much or is there more to come?

Great story!!!

Well, a twist for sure. A twist in time. Is Linda still a slut who will stray anyway? D

I gave up trying to decipher the typos and sentence errors

Wrong way to end needs a chapter 2

The ending spoiled the “feel good” to your version. If it was a setup to something more, then it was unnecessary because you will be too far from the original concept for anything meaningful as a follow up.

Agree with the others, great story with a terrible ending.

Brilliant! I assume you will be writing a part 2. I gave you a 5 because the story was so good, but a suggestion for part 2...Your writing needs just a little help. There were some slips in grammar and syntax. Try having someone proofread it for you. Don't give the supercritical LW crowd an excuse to cut you down. Keep up the good writing. I liked your version of this story better than all the others. Bravo!

Definitely needs a chapter 2 (or 3 and).

great storyline, very entertaining

A Leopard can not change it's spots. Heard of that? That is the whole in this story. For all the changes in the timeline one change can not be made. That is Linda's fatal flaw. In the original we see that she can and does cheat. Cheating has nothing to do with the cheated so nothing Jim does will change her nature. All that is needed is the right set of circumstances. Jim would have to be alert and on defense the rest of his life. Don't allow it to happen but cut her loose as it will happen. You can't be everywhere and you shouldn't be a prison guard. ***

AMAZING alternate ending!!!

Super original!!!

Congratulations!!!

Last sentence stains the story though (from my opinion...)

Well done!

Love this!

One of the best alternative sequels

I agree, one of or maybe the best sequel! Thank you, 5*

I loved it. Great work

This was an original take. Time travel to make sure it never happens was an entertaining choice and only the bad guys ended up getting hurt. That was a pretty abrupt left turn at the end which I hope was a segue to part 2.

Great story and I'm now a new follower.

Excellent. Very well thought out, written, and presented!

Time travel is always entertaining and combining it with a classic LW seems a great concept.

Just wish the story was written much better.

Entertaining story, painful to read.

Nice mix of its a wonderful life and the matrix. I liked the story including the ending. I guess this doesn't truly end the February Sucks sagas

Great story. Very imaginative. I have to agree with some other commenters though. Your writings would really benefit from collaborating with an editor. I know mine did. Would definitely polish an already great talent.

I did enjoy it. The twist at the end was fun. Assuming the plan had worked without the temporal time cops, there is still a problem. In the end, Jim is still married to the same old Linda. That is, the Linda that would have betrayed except for some extraordinary intervention.

/

I think, if it were me, I would have filed for divorce the week before, not raised a finger to stop her, and had a process server waiting at the house the next morning.

"February Sucks," is a compelling, erotic, mesmerizing, thought provoking, fantasy. When looking at it in the light of day, one furrows ones brow, shakes one's head from side to side and says naahhhhh, couldn't happen in reality. Be that as it may, it's still quite a thought provoking, emotional gut wrenching, angering yarn. Truthfully, I myself had an extreme reaction to it. Just the fact that I, a cynical New Yorker and journalist remained angry all day, speaks to it's contentious and agonizing nature. The 53 sequels ( I stopped counting at that number. I believe it's now somewhere in the seventies) and the controversy surrounding it only add to it's cachet, and serve as as a benchmark on Litorotica "Loveing Wives" stories.

I find this one not only hard to follow, but hard to believe as well. It's a fantasy of a fantasy, and not a very good one to say the least.

Pretty damn good. It was a little far out, but I enjoyed it. You have quite the imagination for sure.

I really enjoyed this right up until the last 8 sentences. I'll give you 3 starts for creativity.

Nice take off from the original. Just one thing - "Emma hadn't married yet. She seemed to have trouble finding a man that was a wuss." I don't get that, we're not that hard to find.

Kind of a fun story, but you need to do a better job of editing (dropped words were particularly annoying) and this belongs in the Sci-fi section.

Silly

Didn't like it at all. Not anywhere near what I thought this story would be. Should almost be sci-fi. But I'll give extra for the writing. 2 stars. Bob

The last 2 paragraphs took this story from a solid 5* to a barely 3*

What was the purpose of torpedoing your own story?

Well there you go even with the time travel this was way more believable than the original and all the previous versions.

Piss poor ending.

There are so many problems with that twist, from timing to weapons to authority to execution to law.

Quit after the first pot of coffee.

I stopped reading when the writer told Jim was beaten into a cripple. That did not happen in the original story. Therefore the story lost my interest totally, Fake future telling. To tell about Jim 30 years later should have been based on the actual story. That could have been an interesting story and idea.

OK, so Jim and Stanley get arrested for temporal crime. You end the story here??? Jury is out til I read Part 2. There’d better be a Part 2!!

Loved it. Original and thoughtful conclusion to a disastrous night with an alternative disastrous conclusion. Don’t fuck with my wife comes up against don’t fuck with time. BZ.

Ed

Maybe it is me BUT I am not really into this sort of hocus pocus Different BUT not my style sorry (jaybee186)

New low in the GA universe

Didn’t need that ending

Changing the past doesn't change the selfish character of his wife. All in all not worth reading.⭐⭐

Impossible to turn $5000 into hundreds of millions in 30 years. Didn't ruin the story, but didn't help either.

Great story!!! Like "HELLl" it is!!! Deserves negative stars. Adds NOTHING to the Jim/Linda tales.

I am not a sci-fi fiction anymore.

So I skipped the ratings.

Because I skipped a LOT of the story, skipped to the ending.

But what a unique twist. I bet no one saw that.

Mmm A very creative approach to the February story. Thank you.

The writing itself wasn't particularly focused and painted Jim as a moron who couldn't think of another way to avoid the "Niteclub" night. All that stuff about writing notes, passing them to Linda etc was quite ridiculous, particularly when much of her disbelief could have been countered if Jim had simply played that damn tape for Linda to hear the actual voices of Dave and Phil. However, I'm being pedantic.

Please, please, get someone to proof read your work. Obviously you haven't done it because their were dozens of errors made. Many, many times you left words out of the middle of sentences. Those types of simple errors detract from the written presentation. Anyway, thanks for a creative approach.

Well, this was somewhat of a new view on an exhausted storyline. Overall was a good read despite the sentence structure and grammatical errors. Hey this site is free. So it is what it is. I gave it 4 stars as it kept my attention

Despite the typos and sentence errors, this is the best follow up to February Sucks. Good enough plot please follow it up with part 2.

Interesting. But in the end, unsatisfying — especially given tne ending.

.

3 ***

This really, really sucks!

So .... now even time travel has failed to make this into a good story.

It occurs to me that the 'best' time travel approach might involve going back in time to prevent the original FS story from ever being submitted.

Like the story, the ending not so much. The writing needs a lot of cleanup. Even spell check would have found many of the errors and grammar issues in this story. Find an editor.

The last few lines screwed up the story. Why didn't you leave well enough alone? 3 stars.

Lay off of mushrooms before you write.

Great story line, love the imagination and originality, but the writing- that was horrible. One simple and slow read thru would have corrected so many stupid little mistakes. Spend a little time editing your own work, next time.

Even with the typos, and the fact February Sucks has been done to death, I was going to give it a 4 until the ending, 2.

4* from me.

I liked the story, and while I am not a fan of the ending, I do see the possibilities of expanding it into a sci-fi series. Because of that, I am not subtracting for the ending. While the typos were irritating, they were not so serious that I was unable to easily get what you were trying to say.

While I had agreed with many other commenters, over the past months since the original story, that the February Sucks concept had been pretty much mined of all value, your story definitely gets points for finding new territory.

Well, that was a twist!

As I already said, I like it including the ending. However, towards criticism, you did depend on the characters doing stupid things to advance the story. This is particularly telling when Jim confronts Linda with the recording of Dave and Phil, allegedly made by her very own mother.

1. Faced with an appalling recording made by her mother, she did not immediately call her mom for more info. That would have blown Stanley's plan out of the water.

2. Linda concocts an outrageous explanation and excuse to throw caution to the wind. I think that she may be too stupid to breed, but that ship already left.

3. She calls Dee. Dee doesn't know that Dave and Phil were overheard. Doesn't know who overheard them, and doesn't know what they said. Yet, she fools Linda. Again, Linda is too dumb to save.

4. Finally, she knows Dee has some X and still takes no precautions.

Again, if I was Jim, I wouldn't want her back. I would plan to let her go and for me to minimize my own pain. You could have had a lot of fun with that scenario.

Unique, imaginative and completely over the top - loved it! 5*

after about the 50th feb sucks sequel/retelling/prequel/cinematic universe i just started giving them all 1 stars. i would rather read the cuck shit than another fucking feb sucks story

5***** for the original Sci-Fi version of February. The ending was dumb if there is no second chapter. There were grammar and spelling errors, but not enough that it didn't hurt my reading. You kept it simple with no Butterfly Effect or Grandfather Clause. Overall, the ideal example of Forewarned is Forearmed.

Definitely a twist but without a part two the ending killed it.

4* would have been 5 bad ending without chapter 2.

I think that there is universal agreement among the readers that the time cop ending ruined the story. After more thought, I would pull this story and rewrite the ending without the time cops. Then use the time cop ending to start a possible Chapter 2.

Was a solid 5* until the last paragraph, dropped the story to barely 4*.

\

Missing is the revenge on Dee, Dave, Phil....

\

3.9****, hooyah

Certainly a different take. will be interesting to see where this leads.

Too many typos, missing words, poor punctuation. Ending ruined a feel-good story.

Extremely creative re-telling of this Literotica classic. Great read that leaves me hoping for a sequel.

Nice story, but the ending didn't work. Dropping the last couple of lines would have been much better.

This is original, I will grant that. Other than that, it's pretty bad. Sorry.

A good/interesting story. If I make myself stay within the restrictions of the story. Grammar is a bit rough.

great!

Wow! This was enjoyable. Thank you.

next part?

I enjoyed the story, but it has some serious flaws.

Besides the grammatical issues that an editor would have caught, there is the fact that this plays off her cheating as being solely the fault of the friends. In the new timeline with the drugs maybe it would have been but, in the original timeline she chose to go with him without being drugged. The problem with this is that she doesn't see the error of her ways because she sees it as somebody else controlling things. Thus, should a similar event happen spontaneously, she is likely to abandon him and cheat. He didn't actually resolve the problem but simply pushed it down the road by destroying one set of circumstances.

In fact, I think you hurt your story by having the friends being involved or at least by telling Linda that they were. Simply telling her that he had a premonition that she was going to cheat on him would have allowed the main sequence of events to happen without letting Linda put the blame on the friends for setting her up. He could still have tried to talk her out of going. He still could have given her the notes with details about events and conversations. In fact, since Linda telling Dee that Jim was onto their plan changed the flow of events, the notes would have worked even better without that reveal. If you had went this route, when Marc approached her she would have had nobody but herself to blame if she accepted. Further, if she did accept dancing with him, she would have had Jim's comments about what was going to happen to them and their family in her mind to possibly stop her from actually leaving with him. Of course, if after all of that she still left with him, Jim would simply know that she was a truly worthless woman and could simply start taking actions to remove her from his life and divorce her without getting beat almost to death.

Also, why does Emma still get pregnant at 14? That's too young of an age to be a dating mishap, not to mention that without her acting out from the problems between her parents she wouldn't have dated the same type of guys or behaved the same way with them. That only really leaves rape but, once again, without the reason for her acting out she is not likely to hang out in the same places or with the same people. It's a definite plot hole and you obviously couldn't come up with a good rationale for it either, as the entirety of your explanation was "Emma still got pregnant at fourteen."

I tend to avoid multiverse type stories because they seem to be used too much as a "We ran out of story lines and want to start fresh without coming up with a new concept." As such, maybe I've just missed it but the branching off new instances to exploit them for resources was a new one for me. Of course, it completely ignores the fact that the branched off universe would have both the same need for resources and the same organization designed to farm them from other universes. Thus, all they would really accomplish is starting a multiversal war with themselves...

So many squels and only a few really good. This one is completely different and one of the best. I would like to read about the beating of Dave, Phil and the end of Dee's friendship. Great work.

Um, this was first weird and then kind of interesting … until someone said “Bridge” and the bottom dropped out. Please don’t tell me this is now part of a multi-part SF tale.

An interesting, imaginative and effective sequel. Thank you for posting it.

It’s taken some time, but it seems the sequels are getting good. I’m not a big fan of science fiction, however this was really well done. There were a few grammar/spelling glitches, easily forgiven. The only thing that’s missing is what happened to Dee, Dave, and Phil?

Lame ending

I enjoyed this original take on FS, despite the missing words and the last 2 paragraphs. 4 stars.

Liked it for a Alt. February Sucks story. The ending didn't really need to be added. The best part about Sci-Fi is it doesn't have to be believable.

Different twist on the FS tale. I gave it 4 stars for creativity. IMO it doesn't need a next chapter. Just a fun twist at the end, much like my favorite FS tale in which Jim runs of with Marc!

Forgot to ad: If you can't find a proofreader/editor try reading the story out loud. It should help you find at least some of the errors and missing words.

OG

This was by far the most creative version of February Sucks so far, well done!

Unfortunately the open ending was very disappointing.

Them being arrested by Temporal police was fine, but why leave it unresolved like that?

"Sir, if you'll examine your records, 347 was defective and scheduled for refurbishment. As you can see, the unauthorized plan we executed refurbishment was a success, and the traitor Lavalliere was unable to become the President and sell this Earth out to the Trans-Dimension Resource Extraction Syndicate."

This was awesome. I wonder if people have been reading my comments because the affair causing a tard baby for the cheating wife was always a personal favorite karma that I'm sure I've mentioned somewhere.

Only issue was that the goons that put him in a wheelchair should have gotten more. Messed up how they got away with it in the first timeline.

Well that was kind of fun.

This was a solid 5 stars, until the times cops were written in.

It was a fresh new look to this story with a nice premise.

Add the time cops and the fun of the story went away.

Now I don't was to give it any stars. I would give 5 stars up to the time cops and a single star because time cops ruined the story.

It would be hard to have a chapter 2, that would recover the fun of the story that was before the cops.

Delete the last 4 sentences and resubmit PLEASE!!!!

The three enforcers at the end should have been Dave, Phil, and Mark. A good sci-fi exercise.