FH: Just Found Heaven Ch. 01: SAM

*I always appreciate getting feedback! It helps with becoming a better writer and it's always an ego boost, so feel free to reach out via comment or email. I will always respond, but that's easier to do if you don't post anonymously!

*This isn't a stroke story because that isn't ever my style. I'm a porn with plot writer. HOWEVER, this story literally has only ONE sex scene and it's toward the very end, between the 2 characters, Max and Roman) who will have their own story in All in Balls Out. If that's not your thing, or if you want hot, sexy man love every few paragraphs, please skip my works for your own sanity.

* I wrote Halos and Heroes YEARS AGO, for a small publishing house that closed and almost 4 years ago, I completely rewrote it to the length and content level I wanted, and it was received well here. I'd planned an entire series (Finding Home) and I'd also planned to immediately publish the second book, All in Balls Out, but I decided to write a "short" segue leading up to it, because the main characters in that one (Max and Roman), weren't talking to me clearly. Someone had suggested writing a short, wedding piece to tie into Halos and Heroes so I thought, cool, I can do this! It'll be short and sweet! Ahem... As any writer knows, characters sometimes decide to write themselves and this story did. It's taken me a long time to finish because I wrote it on and off. More off than on, due to changing jobs, Covid and a lot of medical issues including a recent diagnosis of MS though I've had symptoms for years. SOOOO, all that said, this is a direct tie-in taking place AFTER Halos and Heroes so if you have read or decide to re-read it before reading Just Found Heaven, it'll make the most sense. HOWEVER, it can be read as a standalone in the sense that this story is composed of A LOT of flashbacks from Halos and Heroes, as well as a buttload of new content. That being said...

*This story takes place on Sam and Ben's wedding day and 2 of the chapters are told from Sam's POV. Each of the other chapters is told from the POV of each of the other major characters in Halos and Heroes who will eventually have their own stories, provided my sanity and health hold out! Each character's chapter helps move the day along, and it has A LOT of "flashbacks", most of them NOT in Halos and Heroes (Max, Roman, and Tara's POV are all brand new content. So is MOST of Ben's, though some is directly from Halos and Heroes) so if you don't like multiple viewpoints, or flashbacks, please skip it for your own sanity. For those that choose to read it because they enjoyed the first story, you're going to get A LOT of new insight into the characters; why they are who they are and do/did what they did. I think it's a good setup for upcoming novels, but again, you DO NOT have to read this to understand All in Balls Out when it eventually comes out sometime in 2024. FYI, the italicized text between the *** breaks are flashbacks.

*To make it very clear, since a lot of people complained about chapter length last time, as well as how long chapters took to be published, ALL OF MY STORIES ARE COMPLETELY FINISHED BY THE TIME THAT I SUBMIT! I try and see my vision to fruition, and then it's off to the Literotica team and just a waiting game. They get TONS of submissions folks, so I have ZERO CONTROL over how long it takes for chapters to get published. The last time for Halos and Heroes, it took over a month if I remember correctly, and right now it's the holidays. Also, all these chapters have A LOT of intense formatting situations due to the flashbacks, so it may take a while for everything to be okayed. So, if you're one of those folks (like I am) who want to read a story in one sitting, just wait till all the chapters come out to once again, keep yourself sane! As far as the length of the chapters, I write each one until I feel that everything I want to be said in it has been. Most are long, and some are longer than others. If page length is a trie issue for you, again..please skip.

*Although references in this novel may be made to actual places or events, the names, characters, incidents, and locations within are complete works of fiction. They are not a resemblance to actual living or dead persons, businesses, or events. Any similarity is coincidental. I began this series during the Afghanistan war, but I skip around a lot timeline wise in the sense of mentioning movies/songs/events that are sometimes more recent. I try and keep it subtle, but sometimes you might have to suspend belief a bit, so bear with me and my creative license. In an effort to do the United States Army justice, and to show my respect to my country, I have applied all possible efforts to merge fact and fiction to entertain, while portraying the military, and the hardships and achievements of soldiers, with respect, dignity and accuracy to the best of my abilities. It's my hope that I've done you all justice, and that all of the creative licenses taken with this novel are understood to be the efforts of imagination, and not any judgment or disrespect against the U.S. military. Thank you all for your service.

*Finally, to those who have followed and supported me and have bene waiting for me to publish something new, I hope you find it worth the wait. Thank you!

Finding Home : Just Found Heaven Book 1.5

Chapter 1 - Sam

"I got lost out there in this world... Looking for a brand-new wave to fall down... It's no surprise that things gotten worse... And I think God, never let me drown... But I didn't have to lie to myself for so long, I didn't have to let myself get so far gone... I didn't have to make the ones I love feel so alone... I didn't have to die to go to heaven, I just had to go home... All I had to do to save my own life was to look into your eyes..." -- 3 Doors Down (Heaven lyrics)

SOME things in life are easy, but trying to properly knot my own tie on my wedding day wasn't one of them. Considering that I'd pulled this act off flawlessly at least a half dozen times before over the past year, and four months that I'd been home since I'd been discharged from the Army and been both Addie and Emma's plus one to numerous fancy functions including Addie's junior prom a month ago, I should've been able to do this blindfolded. Maybe with one arm bound behind my back since I could bang out 60 push-ups per arm in less than two minutes that way. But it appeared that having mastery over an extremely difficult exercise move and creating a sleek line of formality with your neckwear, were two entirely different wheelhouses of expertise.

Sighing, I pulled the entire knot loose to start over again--for the third time. I could've asked for help from any of the people who'd been coming in and out throughout the morning to help make sure everything ran smoothly until Ben and I said I do; Max, Tara, Sofia, even Adelyn, would've all been able to sort me out. But Tara was Ben's best woman, so I didn't want to hijack her. Sofia had her hands full chasing Emma, who'd been happily spreading nuptial cheer throughout the hotel lobby earlier with some of the rose petals she'd filched from her flower girl basket, and Adelyn was probably trying to help wrangle her little sister. Max was the most logical choice, though he'd stepped out of the room a few minutes ago with a promise to come back after he took a call.

I hadn't told Max to hurry back because while I didn't know whose call he'd had to take, I was fine with him giving himself as many discrete timeouts as he had to today. Wardrobe issues aside, today was one of the happiest milestones of my life, but for Max... not so much.

Two things could always be true at once. True; Max was my best friend, and the person I trusted most in the world, so having him at my side on the most important day of my life was a no-brainer. Also true; Max was in love with me, and having him be my best man meant giving him a front row view to what he'd never have. It was one of the reasons that I'd initially hesitated in asking him to be my best man. Considering our long history of friendship, the sixteen-year span of our on-and-off again romance, and the way that things had ended between us last year, it'd seemed like a cruel move on my part. Most people would probably have agreed that it'd be awkward at the very least. But, not asking him would've also been a slap in his face since there was no one else in my life who I was as close to as I was to Max. It was a complicated clusterfuck either way, so I'd been torn. I'd finally gone the simplest route; just telling him that I'd proposed to Ben, and that Ben had said yes.

I could still see Max's expression clearly in my mind's eye. He'd been surprised, but not shocked, and when our eyes had met, I'd seen the silent resignation in his after my words had sunk in. But he'd tackled the elephant in the room without hesitation, just an easy smile before saying, "Congratulations man. When do I get to plan the bachelor party?"

Since then, he'd taken on every best man duty with gusto, but I knew it wasn't easy. It'd never been easy for me to watch Max bounce from person to person, changing sexual partners as often as he changed his socks. I'd been in love with Max throughout our entire on-and-off-again relationship, but he'd always told me that he couldn't be monogamous, at least not until after Ben came into the picture. Ben had been the catalyst that finally convinced Max to try and push past his unfortunate hang-ups about happily-ever-afters, and admit to the only secret that he'd ever succeeded in keeping from me. But that night on Sofia's porch, when he'd come home from Afghanistan on leave before retiring six months later, we'd both realized that it'd been too little, too late, even though walking away from Max, and forward toward Ben, had still been one of the most difficult choices I'd ever made in my life. Before I'd met Ben, Max had always been everything to me since we were teenagers; best friend, lover and family...

***

The rain had stopped by the time I'd walked the mile from my house to Max's; one of those brief summer storms that threatened hairstyles throughout the Sunshine State, but then cleared into spotlessly blue skies. I kept my hair buzzed short for ease, so I didn't have much to fuss with, but my T-shirt and jeans were molded to my body like a second skin, and my sodden sneakers squished as I walked up the three steps to his parent's front door, avoiding the top step out of habit. The wood always swelled in the summer and tripped the unsuspecting, no matter how many times his father nailed the board down.

My knuckles throbbed as I knocked on the door. I quickly wiped off the glaringly bright, bloody red smudges that they left behind on the white paint, then swiped my hand across the hem of my t-shirt. Between the dark gray color and how soaked the fabric was, that evidence of tonight's earlier events was easily erased. My bruised and potentially cracked ribs on my left side were harder to play off because my body screamed every time I moved too quickly, but I had ample experiences with broken ribs, among other bones. I knew how to discreetly favor the pained pieces to keep myself standing steadily enough not to rouse too many suspicions that would get CPS involved for the hundredth time. When the door opened to reveal Max's dad, I had to remind myself why that was so important.

Max's father was a highly decorated Air Force Colonel, and one of the sharpest men I'd ever met. He'd seen through all the excuses my family made for the injuries I'd racked up over the years, but though you could bring the proverbial horse to water, you couldn't force it to drink any more than you could get a dysfunctional, codependent family to turn on one another.

"Sam," he said calmly, though there was a hint of obvious curiosity in his eyes as to why I'd ended up on his doorstep in this kind of weather. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, Sir," I responded, my voice perfectly casual from years of practice. "I just got caught in the rain on my way over. Didn't pay attention to today's weather forecast. Is Max here?"

"He's up in his room."

The Colonel's blue gaze swept over me slowly with that quiet, keen assessment that used to make me squirm before I'd learned how to lie efficiently to the people that I considered my family more than the ones I'd been born to. The deceit always killed me a little, but illogical, ill-placed loyalty still made me protect the people I shared genetics with.

"Are you sure everything's okay son?"

"Yes sir," I said again. "Everything's okay. Just came by to shoot the crap with Max. If it's a bad time though, I can come back later."

Max's father had been telling me for years that I could call him either by his first or last name interchangeably if I wanted to, which made Max, who was always forced to address his father as "Sir" or "Colonel", wisecrack that I was the son that his father actually wanted. I'd never taken his dad up on the offer, not just because I knew that it would hurt Max even if he played his feelings off as a joke, but also because if I was forced to lie to a man who was the closest thing I had to a true father figure, then the least I could do was show him the respect he'd earned after years of devoted service to his country, and kindness toward me.

After another searching look, he shook his head. "You know you're always welcome here. After all these years we should just get you your own key. Take the extra one before you leave today, and I'll just have another one made tomorrow."

"Thank you, Sir."

Max's dad nodded again, then called up the stairs for Max to come down before he walked into the next room. It was obvious that the Colonel didn't believe me, but I knew that he wouldn't push because he always wanted to keep the door open in the unlikely event I ever decided to walk through it.

Instead of going upstairs to Max's room, I stayed in the foyer. Even though Max's bedroom door locked, I always felt a little uneasy talking to him about days like this within the four walls of his family's home which was the most normal, happy place I knew. I never wanted to pollute it with ugly secrets. Max came down within a few minutes, and the look he gave me was as knowing as his father's had been. But he was able to morph it into that easy going smile that hid my secrets as often as they did his own. He called that honed skill his southern charm. I called it bullshit, but it was still a talent that I benefited from on days like this.

"Didn't listen to the weather forecast again today, did you?" His tone was teasing and casual, but I saw the silent, concerned question in his eyes before he tilted his head toward the still open front door.

I nodded slightly, and felt Max's body tense in silent anger when I winced subtly beneath the casual arm he threw over my shoulders. I knew that he'd hugged me as a discreet way of checking out how badly I was injured, because he could always read me like a favorite book. He didn't say anything about it though until we got outside, and walked around the back of the house where he always kept a ladder pressed up against the siding because we liked sitting up there with sodas on warm nights to shoot the shit.

"Can you manage?"

"Yeah, but you go up first because I'm going to be slow today."

The anger that had been discreet in the house flared up visibly in Max's face before he climbed up the ladder quickly, waiting for me at the top so that he could grab my hand and help me settle onto our usual spots on the roof where most of our conversations took place when they were going to be more than just shooting casual teenage shit.

He waited until I was situated before he glanced over at me. "How bad is it?"

I shrugged as much as I could through the pain. I never bothered hiding the truth from Max. "Probably have a few cracked ribs. Connor got it worse."

"Let me guess, he started it."

It was a rhetorical question, so I just shrugged. "Dad's been in a worse mood than usual. He's gambling even more than he's boozing, and he flipped out when Connor told him that Sofia's pregnant. He said he wasn't going to support another mouth to feed. Not that he's ever really supported us anyway."

Max's eyes immediately widened since I hadn't gotten a chance to share that particular bit of information with him before today. I'd only found out about Sofia's pregnancy two days ago, and I'd been trying to play interference between Connor and our father since then. Things had just escalated into an uglier war than usual this afternoon.

"Jesus. Do her parents know?"

I nodded. "Connor and Sofia told them first. They're not thrilled about it, but they're trying to be as supportive as they can even though you know they've never liked Connor."

"That's the understatement of the century," Max said with a snort. "But who can blame them? Connor's an irresponsible shithead. Baby-free-boning is called, wear-a-fucking condom, stupid."

He looked disgusted, but I knew it was at Connor's expense not Sofia's, even though it took two to make a mistake like this. We just both had a soft, brotherly spot for Connor's girlfriend.

"What are they gonna do?"

"You know how religious Sofia's parents are. They won't let her have an abortion, and even if she was old enough to do it without their permission, she'd never go against their wishes anyway."

"What's Connor say about it?" I hesitated because though my first instinct was always to protect my twin brother, I never lied to Max. "He said he'll be a shitty father."

"Well for once he and I agree about something."

"Maybe things will change. Sofia's parents are good, stable people. She's living with them and raising the baby there."

"And Connor's moving in too? Bullshit. You're going to grow mold waiting for those fucking pigs with wings to pop out of the sky."

"Max, I know Connor fucks up a lot, but he's not always a dick. He said he'll marry Sofia when they're both eighteen, for the baby's sake."

"Poor baby, and poor Sofia then, because you're right. He's not always a dick. He's about 60/40. The 40 is when he's an asshole."

"Look, if he doesn't move in with Sofia's parents it's probably because he doesn't want to leave me alone with dad."

"Bullshit," Max repeated. "Half the time he jumps in to protect you is after you've already gotten the shit beaten out of you for protecting him because he decided to throw an entire book of matches into your dad's toxic, kerosene-soaked soul."

I scrubbed one hand across my face, feeling the stress knotted through the tendons that pulled taught in my jaw. It wasn't the first, or even the fiftieth time that we'd had similar conversations, but I still didn't have the exact formula for diffusing Max's wrath when he felt he had to come to my defense. I knew that he was right about Connor most of the time, but Connor was still my brother, and I was loyal even when I knew it was stupid.

"We're sixteen Max, and there's no way that dad's going to emancipate us," I said, hoping logic would work this time, even though it was as much a bullshit excuse as any of my usual ones, and we both knew it. "We're his meal tickets so long as we keep bringing in the welfare checks."

"So, move in with us. The Colonel and mom know your old man is a piece of shit, and I've heard them talk about taking you in before. They'd protect you if you'd let them, Sam. You know the Colonel's been looking for a reason to kick that son-of-a-bitch's ass even before your mom died."

"They wouldn't take Connor."

Max sighed. "They wouldn't want to because he's difficult, and yeah, they'd kick Connor out in a heartbeat if he kept fucking up with all the street fights, and his usual general bullshit while he was staying under this roof. But they'd try for your sake if it would get you out of that hell hole, especially my mama. They want what's best for you because they love you. We all do."