Fifty Shades of Dark Pink

" 'Cutie the bomb, met her at a beauty salon

With a baby Louis Vuitton under her underarm

She said, 'I can tell you rock, I can tell by your charm

Far as girls you got a flock.' "

"Where is that from?"

"You've heard of Kanye West?"

"Vaguely. Most popular music is trash, anyway." I had heard that opinion from him before.

"I wouldn't agree that all of it is."

"Does this song have a name, by the way?"

"It's 'Gold Digger,' of course." He was not prepared for that. "Let's be honest, your money is going to attract a flock of chicks, as he says. There's nothing wrong with that. It's part of our evolutionary heritage, perhaps. And I know that I am your one and only."

Maybe he was touched by that. Meanwhile, I had taken a tube of Vaseline out of my bag and I tossed it to him. He managed to miss catching it and it bounced off his chest. I said, "Now, I don't expect you to do a dry rub."

While he fumbled around to get the tube, I took something else out of my bag. "I've got another toy here, a very personal one." It was a large purple plastic dildo. It wasn't electric, but it did have bumps of sorts going down its length.

Christian didn't know I had bought it, In fact, I already owned a second one, a smooth black rubber instrument. "What, don't I satisfy you?"

"Yes, you do. But sometimes a gal is alone and she just needs some pleasure, I mean, right now. Those pussy urges sometimes can't wait."

Rather than delay any further, I removed my panties and dropped them on the floor where he could see them. I'm a bit old-fashioned, and I trim my pubic hair but I don't shave it off like many women do. If figure that if God or whoever put it there as a sign of sexual maturity, then I should leave it in place. There are limits to the natural look, however, and I do shave my armpits and other places.

I then put my dildo between my legs and gently rubbed the tip against myself. It felt wonderful on my clitoris and vulva. I gasped, "Oh, as I said, I'm just so ready for this." Then I said, "Christian, you must be dead if seeing this doesn't make you horny. Let's see what you can do."

Maybe he wasn't sure if he had a choice, but he got down on his knees and lubed his cock with the Vaseline. Meanwhile, I was slowly inserting and withdrawing my purple shaft. Already, I was quietly moaning.

I saw his method for masturbating himself. He held the base of his cock with his left hand and pulled the skin tight. His right hand stroked himself from top to bottom and back again.

In the first couple of moments, we could still talk lucidly. I said, "Many men will pay to enjoy the services of a dominatrix. You got it for free."

He still gave me some lip. "Well, I'm not one of those guys."

"They also used to pay to see girls in peep shows. Of course, there was glass there, and I suspect those girls did the minimum to get those guys to come."

I giggled. "If it was me, I'd sit there with my legs apart and maybe diddle a nipple or something." That reminded me that I had forgotten to undo my own top to gain access to my breasts, but it didn't seem necessary that time.

I continued, "Probably I'd read Vogue or Vanity Fair while the customer was doing his thing."

He said, "I wonder how often they mopped out those places."

"Well, if it wasn't every time, there would be quite a sticky mess in there."

I was about to comment on more recent cam girls, but I was becoming distracted by my own self-pleasure. I remember groaning a few silly things like, "Christian, this is just so wonderful." He was groaning too, but he didn't say much.

We were both so worked up that it didn't long for either of us to come. I had my orgasm first. I could feel the build-up, and I said the usual thing that people say in that situation. "I'm going to come, oh I'm going to come right now."

Then I did, and I spread my legs higher and further apart while jamming the dildo into my body. I put my head back on the sofa and yelled something like, "A-a-h-h-h!"

I can be quite an orgasmic lady when I'm in the right mood, which is almost all of the time.

As I relaxed, I could see that I had inspired Christian to have his own orgasm. He was making the same motions with his right hand, but those were much faster by that point.

He wasn't as noisy as I had been, but he gritted his teeth and made some sound like, "E-h-h-h." His first spurt was relatively short, but the second one was truly awesome as it jetted out and up a long way before pattering down on the carpet. For a moment, I thought it might even reach where my feet were.

The next one was equally impressive. Then there were several smaller ones again.

I had recovered enough to comment, "Oh Christian, that is the most amazing ejaculation I have ever seen." I wasn't exaggerating either.

We relaxed for a short while, but we didn't look at each other. Then, when my breathing was becoming normal again, I reached down to pick up the panties and I tossed them onto his lap. "Here, you can keep these as a souvenir. You can sniff them if you wish."

He still had some of his old spirit. "I am not a panty-sniffer."

"Fine, then masturbate into them when I'm not around. Or even if I am around. If you wish, fill them up with your hot cum."

I think the idea intrigued him, but he refused to admit it. Instead, he daintily picked them up and dropped them on the floor next to himself.

Then he said, "I need a drink. Would you like one too?"

"Of course I would."

He got his pants up and buckled them. Then he went over to the sideboard to choose something, which turned out to be cognac. He was a little confused about the glasses, and he poured his into a martini glass, while my drink filled about a third of a water tumbler.

After he gave it to me, I expected he might try to sit next to me, but instead he went back to his own couch. That was fine with me. As he walked over there, I said, "I'd also like a sandwich too."

He wheeled towards me. "Have the staff make it."

"I've already sent them home, for the sake of privacy, obviously."

"You don't expect me to make it?"

One of Christian's faults was that he often lacked a sense of humor or irony, and thus he didn't realize that I was playing with him.

"Yes, I like tuna salad on rye toast with tomatoes and lettuce. Extra mayo. A pickle on the side, and a glass of diet Dr. Pepper to go along with it."

I couldn't keep a straight face, and I started to laugh. "You really took me seriously, I can't believe you fell for it! But I do want that sandwich, and I'll make it myself. Do you want anything?"

He was grumpy, "Never mind, I'm good." I did notice that he was cautious about lowering his sore butt onto his sofa cushion.

In the kitchen, I skipped toasting the bread and then I came back with my late lunch. As I balanced the plate on my lap, he sat there brooding. My first priority for a drink was the cognac, and I sipped that while I left the soda on a side table.

I was feeling chatty, and I went on for some length. "You should know that I often masturbate imagining that you are disciplining me. You want to hear about one such time?"

"I suppose you are going to tell me anyway."

"Indeed I am. A couple of weeks ago I had to drive out to pick up Lisa at LaGuardia." Lisa was a friend of mine from my college days.

"By the way, I do l love that little Audi sedan that you bought for me. So, by the time I'm driving across the 59th Street Bridge -- the tunnel was backed up -- I was having a vivid fantasy of you giving me a sound spanking on my naughty little bare ass."

I had aroused some curiosity in him. "What is it that you thought you had done wrong?"

"It was that I had been masturbating too much, which is quite ironic." I doubt that he picked up on the humor of that. "Anyway, I was just getting so horny picturing myself face down over your lap. And as I have said, sometimes a gal has to come right now."

I could see that he was trying to imagine what happened next.

"Fortunately, it was a Sunday, so I found a quiet side street in Long Island City where I could park between two trucks."

Christian had drained his martini glass by then. I went on. "I didn't have a dildo with me, but any woman worth her salt can get off with her fingers alone. I got into the passenger seat, pulled back my flowered skirt, and I dropped my pink panties on the floor."

"So this worked?" I don't think he was merely making small talk.

"Oh yes, it did. I guess I got a bit careless because I put my sandaled feet up on the dashboard. In my mind, I was over your knees with the same skirt pushed up and the same pink panties on the floor, except it was a floor in here. I even made up some dialogue to go along with it. Don't you make up dialogue for your fantasies?"

I don't think he wished to answer that, but he managed to say, "That doesn't seem necessary."

"You should definitely try it sometime." Then I kept going with my story. "I imagined that I was saying, 'Christian, please punish me. I've been such a bad girl, spank me hard so that I can be a good girl again.' Really, I even said that out loud to motivate myself."

He looked quite skeptical, so I said, "That's another thing you should try yourself, I mean vocalizing your thoughts."

I must have been confusing him because he asked, "You mean, during, ah, self-pleasure?"

"Sure, silly, that's what we've been talking about. Anyway, I had a very intense orgasm soon after that." I believed that if one is going to have an orgasm, it might as well be an intense one. "I made so much noise that I wondered if they could hear me up in Queens Plaza."

"Do you think they really could?"

"No, that was a bit of hyperbole, I admit that. But I had to stay there for a few minutes to get my wits together."

Then I sang, " 'I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep... Life, I love you, all is groovy.'... Don't you recognize that?"

"Not really." Maybe he was subdued because of his own intense orgasm, but I think my unexpected behavior that day was a factor too.

"Simon and Garfunkel, you must know them. It's 'The 59th Street Bridge Song.' "

"Who would write a song about the 59th Street Bridge?"

"Well, they did, that's for sure."

As you've might have surmised by now, Christian had a blind spot when it came to much of popular culture. I put my plate down on the sofa because I wanted to emphasize the next part and I needed to have my hands free to make gestures.

"I was still horny, but I didn't want to be late when picking up Lisa. Yet on the way back, I had her sniff the pussy scent on my fingers."

"I can just picture that. Two giggly co-eds."

He almost pissed me off with that remark, but I was not going to let his attitude ruin my good mood. Besides, the best part of the story was yet to come.

"We're not in college any longer, as you know. So, Lisa and I came back here first, because I knew you weren't around. Then we had our own lady-to-lady circle jerk right here on the couches like you and I just did. I had my black dildo, and she had a pink plastic one, but with a different shape than mine. And man, I came twice here, and she came three times!"

Christian was shocked, "What, are you becoming a lesbian?"

"Calm down, I've had some bisexual leanings for as I can remember." Then I pouted, "You're not getting jealous, are you?"

He was upset, "I'm trying to grasp all of this."

"Well, don't worry too much, I haven't decided on anything yet. By the way, would you like a cognac refill? I know I would."

Without waiting for a response, I got up and retrieved his glass and then went back for mine. After giving his glass back, I went to the sideboard again and stood leaning on it.

"Don't drink too much. Once you get the wind back in your sails, we're going to have another of our circle jerks. But for variety's sake, I'm going to mix it up a bit."

"Is this going to be another one of your surprises?"

I was still quite talkative, "I'll tell you right now. What I propose is that I bend over my couch like you did with yours, and I'll present my pussy and butthole for you to see. Then I have to decide which way to use my dildo; from the front or the back? Maybe I'll try both."

"I've lost interest in that." I knew he was lying.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to do it anyway. And, sweetie, it's your choice about how to react." I winked at him. "But knowing you, I'd be surprised if you didn't whack off another set of huge spurts again."

I pretended to ponder something. "This skirt is rather tight. Maybe I should just take it off." I winked again. "But I'm not going to spank you further unless, of course, you want me to!"

"I'm quite sure that I don't."

"I think you're fibbing. So, before we get to our next game, it's way too quiet in here. I'm going to play some music."

Without waiting for his assent, I went over to the CDs we had and I looked through them. Almost all of them were ones I had bought myself over the years.

I held up one so that he could see it. He said, "Los Lobos? That means the wolves in Spanish. But I've never heard of them."

"They're Chicanos from Los Angeles, and they've been around since the 1980's I think."

I put the CD on the sound system and found the song I wanted to hear first. Then I sang along while holding my drink.

" 'You can't run to try to hide away

Here it comes, here comes another day

Where you are, never really far away

Good morning Aztlán.' "

I laughed, "Christian, I haven't had such a good time in years!"

#####