All Comments on 'Fight for Me Ch. 02'

Oh dear what a mess missing words and characters changing names half way through a paragraph just to return to the name in the beginning

GET AN EDITOR

Also has more plot holes than a poorly maintained road

minor corrections needed, but your story and pacing is fantastic. Keep up the great work and only accept positive criticism!

INCREDIBLE ; FANTASTIC; VERY HOT ;Sébastian fucking Stéphanie !!! Please incest sister/brother

It's ok to pace and unfold a story like this so it gradually comes into focus, but these chapters are much too short for such a slow pace; if ch.1 and this chapter were merged into one, they would still only be an introduction to what one would expect to be at least a 12 or 15 page novella, if this is the pace you're going to maintain throughout.

So far you've given us a very slow build-up to nothing yet, and if you go any slower, interest is going to drop off sharply. This is an erotica site, and while the elements are all slowly sliding into place, they're doing it too slowly, and there's still nothing much to grab and hold the attention other than Stephanie fancies Sebastian, and it's taken two chapters to keep reiterating that fact while not actually going anywhere with it. Either pick it up a little, or put it down.

Don't be tempted to use previous comments on ch.1 as a sort of template for how the story should progress; either you already know and you're picking your way through it, or you're making it up on the fly to try and please the readers; please don't let it be the second. I like your writing style, I just believe you need to pick-up the pace, or make the chapters longer to show the development of the characters to bettere effect.

First chapter did go by a bit quick but this one was fantastic.

I'm waiting on number three. Thus is the first story I've found in a while that has kapt my interest and has characters that I actually kinda care about.

Can you finish the series if you're not dead yet? Thank you. The pace and buildup of the story is quite unique. Would love it if you come back and finish it.

i know this is pretty old but i wish this would still go on

This was really starting to get good. It's a crying shame that Chapter 3 was never published. I have no doubts about whether I would have enjoyed it or not. 5/5

So long and thanks for all the fish...