Finding Her Place

I slept a lot, had FaceTime calls with Nicole and Danny, and did a little walking to see how a workday might go. I was starting with three twelve-hour shifts a week, and Kris was allowing me to work at the diner, too. I prayed I'd survive.

~~~

I was fifteen minutes early for my first day of work with the private ambulance service. I wouldn't be doing 9-1-1 calls but would mostly be transporting sick and injured people from one place to another. It wouldn't be life and death exciting, but I needed somewhere to start.

"Hello. You must be Gabby," she said, extending her hand, a big and warm smile on her face. "I'm Mary Ellen Crewe, and we'll be working together today. We have three trips planned, and there are usually two or three more that pop up. We'll be based at Memorial Hospital today. Are you all ready to start?"

I decided to be honest with her.

"I had a baby seven days ago, and I hope I won't disintegrate halfway through the day."

"You're brave to be here, and if we're going to be working together, I want to find out about you. I see you've asked to do three days in a row. That's sure the hardest way to do it."

"Before I took my training, I was a server at a little dinner, and they were very good to me. They're going to allow me to work on my days off this job so I can get a little savings. There are things I want to do."

"Then let's head for Memorial Hospital, and you can tell me some things about yourself. Watch how I drive this thing, and I'll show you some of the gadgetry we have so you'll be able to use it when you drive tomorrow."

"I'm going to drive tomorrow?"

"Sure, we get right to it at Guardian Medics."

"It looks interesting already," I said with a chuckle.

On the nearly thirty-minute drive to the hospital, I filled Mary Ellen in on the last year or so of my life. I also found out a good bit about her. And I learned many of the intricacies of the bright red vehicle that carried us to and on our assignments. Everything went smoothly, Mary Ellen ensuring that I was well-hydrated and nourished. A box of donuts helped make that happen. Despite not doing a lot, I was tired at the end of my day.

The following day was much the same, except that I did the driving. As much as I wanted something special to happen, I never had an opportunity to use the siren or the very loud squawking horn. We did have a bit of excitement as a lady we were transporting went into cardiac arrest. Mary Ellen did chest compressions, and I called ahead to alert the hospital. Fortunately, the lady survived, and I felt proud and happy.

My alarm clock had to be one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I just wasn't sure which one, although death seemed appropriate, the way I was feeling. I hope that sleeping would eventually catch up with my fatigue. I dressed, ate a healthy breakfast, and made my way through traffic to the Guardian Medics building. I was to have a new coworker today. I hoped I wouldn't bite their head off if they made a corrective suggestion.

Anxious to make a good impression on my new partner, I hurried through the front door, stumbled on the sill, and sprawled flat on my face.

"Don't move," he called, running across the room and kneeling beside me.

"I'm okay," I assured him, rolling over so I could sit up.

"Mary left me a note, and you had a baby just a week ago."

For the first time, I looked at the voice. Just the smile nearly made me gasp. I wondered if all first responders were tall, handsome bodybuilders. He offered his hand.

"I don't want to be transporting you somewhere," he said, "and I'm Doug Bish."

"I'm Gabby Simpson, but I think you probably already know that."

He laughed, a deep and warm sound that seemed somehow to soothe my frazzled self, at least for the moment.

"Just so you feel a little better, Mary also said you were a keeper and would be a fine asset to our organization."

"She really said that?" I felt like biting my tongue after that had come out.

"She just said that you had quite a story and how determined you were to get ahead."

"I'm doing my best, but not everything always works out right."

He snorted. "Tell me about it," he added with a laugh.

"You too?" I questioned.

"You drive, and I'll tell you about it. You might as well know what you're dealing with when you ride with me."

I gave him a wide-eyed look, I think.

"It's not a Jekyll and Hyde or Jack the Ripper story."

"I didn't mean anything like that. I mean... I don't know what I mean." I shook my head and chuckled. Not the start I wanted with the very handsome Doug Bish.

We climbed into the squad.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Be right back," Doug said, jumping out of the squad and jogging to the assignment board.

He was quickly back with a piece of paper. "Looks like we're at Children's today, with at least four trips to make for sure." He looked at me. "I guess I got so excited about being teamed up with a Gabby that I forgot to look at the board."

I knew my cheeks had pinked, but I wasn't going to respond. We took off for Children's, about a twenty-minute drive.

"Here's my dumb story. I met a beautiful girl in high school, and we dated while I studied for and received my paramedic certification. We married, and I went to work while Dana, my wife, was developing an online business. Everything seemed to be going well. Long story short, I discovered that she was paying most of our bills with sex and using the money for clothes and other stuff. "

"Wow," was all I could think to say. "Mine is nothing quite that dramatic."

"Well, Mary said it wasn't a pleasant story, so you don't need to tell it if you'd rather not."

"It's not a big deal, but it shows a part of me that I hope I've left behind. I met this guy who was working at a Dairy Queen, and we seemed to get along well. Neither of us had any money, so we had cheap dates. On the first one, we went to a movie and came back to my house --"

" -- Sorry," he interrupted, "you had no money, but you had a house?"

"Yeah, that's another part of my story."

"Sorry again," he said as he jammed on the rakes at a red light.

"Anyway, he had a six-pack of beer, and I got drunk, and we evidently had sex, which I don't remember, but I ended up pregnant and had a beautiful boy about a week ago."

"Holy shit, a week ago?"

"Yeah, I know, but I need the money."

"I bet, trying to pay for a little one. Who takes care of him when you're working?"

There was a significant moment of silence. Then I explained about my aunt and uncle, my parents, and the house. I did it without tears and was proud of myself.

"My aunt and uncle don't have children and are saving for in vitro but are also helping me, so I have to get on my feet quickly so I can bring Danny home."

"Mary's right, you're quite a lady."

"I didn't really have much choice, so..."

"We're here, and I think we have a run scheduled right away." Doug jumped out and jogged to the door and inside. He was back quickly.

"A little guy has been waiting for a special treatment. There's an opening right now, and Dad is four hours away on a business trip with their only car. I'll drive to their house, but do you want to drive back or stay with him?"

"I'll stay with him," l answered, almost before he'd finished the question.

"Good. I'm sure you're better at that than I am.

The mother was waiting on the porch, baby in arms and obviously anxious to get the little one to the hospital.

"I'm not allowed to ride with Brian in the squad, am I?"

"I'm afraid not," Doug replied. "An Uber will get you there, though."

"Oh my gosh, thanks. I never think of using an Uber. And Brian will be back to bring me home."

"And little Brian home too?" I asked with a smile, hopeful.

"We hope so. He might have to stay there one night, but we hope not."

I had an idea. "Why don't you bring him into the squad and put him into the special carrier we have."

She did just that and waved goodbye, fighting back the tears.

Brian was sleeping, so I spent most of my time with him just looking and smiling. I'd been away from Danny only a very few days, but I could certainly feel for this young mother, wishing she were with her baby rather than following in an Uber.

When we arrived, we went inside with Brian, and it was only fifteen minutes before Mom arrived to take over.

"Good luck," I called to her as we were leaving. She blew us a kiss.

I learned a lot in the next few weeks, sometimes being with Mary for two of the three days and sometimes with Doug. A couple of times, there was someone else. Once, I was paired with a brand new EMT, so I was in charge, and that was a different feeling. Thank the Lord, all went well.

Twice after work, Doug asked me if I'd like to stop for a coffee or maybe a burger, and I decided, why not? He was so personable and easy to talk to that he was fun to be around. I never brought it up, but it seemed absurd that a guy so good-looking and with such a pleasing personality was still single. I'd take him in a split second, but I was never considered beautiful or even pretty. I always considered myself just okay, whatever that meant, so nothing was going to happen with Doug.

We'd been working together for about six weeks and had stopped at Burger King for one of our infrequent after-work soirées, as Doug kiddingly called them. Since we usually grabbed lunch from the cafeteria of whatever hospital we were based at for the day, stopping at a restaurant, even a fast-food place, was a soirée for us.

"How long have you been with Guardian Medics now?" he asked.

"About six weeks, I think, and I'm loving it."

"When are you going to start paramedic training?"

"Tomorrow, if I could. I need the money first."

"Is that all that's stopping you?"

I was a little wary of the way he asked that.

"I have to do something about Danny. My aunt and uncle are probably ready to start their in vetro, and they will be having children of their own."

It was times like this that I felt defeated and a little depressed. I was usually able to snap out of it when I thought about the progress I was making. I just wished it would move a little faster.

"So, would you trust me to do a little research for you about possible scholarships for paramedic training?"

"I can't ask you to do that, Doug."

"I believe I volunteered and am waiting for an answer to the volunteering question." He smiled at me and chuckled.

"Oh my gosh, of course, I'd trust you to do that."

"If you'd trust me with that, would you trust me to take you out to a nice formal dinner?"

I just stared at him, not believing what I'd just heard.

"It's not against company policy as long as it doesn't cause disruptions or problems with the work."

"I'm sorry. That was just a total surprise."

"Well?"

"Sure, that would be fun. We'll get to see each other in a different situation."

"Great. I'm off Thursday, and so are you, I believe. We can miss the Friday night restaurant crush."

I wasn't sure if I accepted the idea of karma, but it seemed strange that Kris had called last night to tell me her sister's husband had died, and she was going to be with the family, and the diner would be closed on Thursday and Friday, so I wouldn't be able to work. Instead, I was going on a date with Doug.

We'd already exchanged cell numbers and had called and texted when we were on duty when it was necessary. I did give him my address.

"This is exciting," he said. I haven't had a date in several years." He gazed at me for a second, a big smile on his face. "It'll be casual, okay?"

I wasn't sure what I'd wear if it was anything but casual, but I think I'd be willing to spend some of my precious savings to go on a date with Doug. I had a date with Doug. I said it over and over several times as he entered my address on his phone.

We left the Burger King together and headed for our cars. I wouldn't see him again until Thursday evening.

"I have a date, Nicole."

"Gabs, that's fantastic."

"It's a guy I work with; I think I've mentioned him before to you. Best looking guy you'll ever stumble across. I don't think it'll go anywhere, though.

"Why not?"

"I'm not exactly Jennifer Anniston or Princess Catherine."

"Gabs, don't sell yourself short."

"Eh!" I replied, and then we went on to talk about Danny. I was ready to disconnect when she stopped me.

"In another week, I have several tests and consultations about the in vitro stuff. I'll let you know how it goes."

"Please do. That's so exciting."

It sounded as though I'd have to do some planning about bringing Danny home.

do you like Italian, Chinese, Thai, Greek, sushi, or something else?

I replied to his text. <>yes except sushi<>

I'd never had Thai or Greek but was willing to try.

Doug knocked on the door a few minutes before six. I was as ready as I could be, having changed my clothes twice, put on makeup, and removed it, and wondered why I was so concerned as this was certainly a one-time experiment by Doug.

"So, this is your house. It's so neat, Gabby. And knowing the story behind it makes it even more fascinating." He was looking at me and not the house.

He looked different out of his paramedic uniform.

"You look really nice, Gabby. Those dumb uniforms hide what you really look like." Another smile from Doug, but the uniform only hid my body, and my body wasn't anything special. He had me scrambling to figure things out.

"The same applies to you, Doug. I love that shirt."

"It's my favorite. Got it online."

I wasn't going to tell him that I found most of my things at the Salvation Army store.

He extended his hand toward me... and I took hold of it.

"Ready?"

"And hungry," I said since I'd skipped lunch.

He released my hand so I could lock the door but grabbed it immediately when I turned around. He led me to his car, a fairly new Honda, and helped me get seated.

"Are you going to surprise me?"

"I hope so," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

He pulled into a parking lot. Wong's the sign said. I'd had Chinese a few times before Mom and Dad were killed, and I'd liked it. We went inside and were seated.

"I think I know the answer, but would you like some wine or something else."

I knew that question was good-natured teasing, and I didn't mind it at all... coming from Doug, anyway.

"Maybe just some tea," I said, remembering what my parents had when we ate Chinese. It's safer."

"Do you think you need to be safer with me?"

I could feel my cheeks pinking as I'd inadvertently gotten my foot in my mouth. I closed my eyes and felt Doug take hold of my hand.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "Sometimes my teasing is over the top."

I needed to make a point. "I'll take a glass of wine... and maybe another later."

He laughed. "You don't have to do that, you know."

"I know, but I kind of enjoy being buzzed." That had only happened a couple of times, one of them being memorable, of course, but I wasn't the slightest bit worried about Doug.

The look on Doug's face was pure puzzlement, which gradually changed to one of amusement.

"You're quite a lady, Gabby. Quite a lady."

"I'm just struggling to get through life, Doug."

"And I admire the way you're handling every one of your struggles."

I had my glass of wine and took a large sip, feeling it slide down my throat and clunk into my stomach. This gorgeous guy had me completely off-stride if I was ever on-stride. I just wasn't used to having anyone talk to me like that, let alone someone like Doug. Our meals were ordered, so I hoped I'd have a few minutes to gather myself.

Doug had let me order first and then ordered the same thing. One more thing I was sure to make me feel at ease.

I finished my wine as our food arrived.

I love shrimp chow mein," he said, taking a large first bite.

It had been my dad's favorite, too, and was the only Chinese I'd ever had unless you counted Raman noodles. The conversation while we ate was much lighter, and Doug had me laughing between every bite.

"I'll never finish all of this," I said, eying my half-full plate.

"Me either. We'll get a take-home container for yours, and whether you add mine is your choice."

I shrugged and chuckled. "Sure you don't want some to take home?"

"Naw, I'm good."

I wanted to say that he was much better than just good, but I'd only had one glass of wine and was able to hold my tongue.

We finished eating and headed for my place. I was debating, but it wasn't much of a debate.

"I have some snacks if you want to come in," I said rather timidly.

"Love to. I'll stop and get some wine, okay?"

"Are you tempting me?"

"I'm not that clever," he said. "I just enjoy being with you."

He kept tossing out those zingers that I was having trouble comprehending or maybe just accepting. I was just a boring chick and always had been.

He bought the wine, and we went to my place. I had two more glasses, and he could have done whatever he wanted with me, the wine totally destroying my resolve to be good. Instead, he took my cheeks in his hands and gave me a gentle and tender kiss.

I'll be in touch," he said. I'm off next week and taking a little trip to see my sister. Don't forget me?"

"Sleep well," I murmured as he left. A week? Ugh.

~~~

Doug texted me three or four times a day and said he wanted to see me again. I answered absolutely.

On Friday evening, Nicole called.

"How did it all go?" I was anxious to hear.

There was silence, and I thought I heard a sniffle.

"Not good," she said quietly.

"Nicole, what's wrong?"

"Just a second, Gabs." There was a brief pause, and I could picture her taking a deep, but shaky breath. "They said my eggs were good, but I wouldn't be able to carry a baby if I were pregnant."

"Oh my gosh, Nicole, that's terrible. Do you know what you're going to do?"

"One doctor suggested we could adopt, and another said we could use a surrogate, but that can be very expensive and can be complicated. We've been trying to deal with the fact that we can't even have a normal, abnormal pregnancy."

"What about the surrogacy thing? It seems kinda strange."

"I know. I don't know if I want my baby growing in a stranger's body. I... just don't know."

I thought about what she'd just said. I could see what she meant. But I could see something else too. It popped into my brain, and I knew. It just fit.

"How about if your baby grows in my body?"

"What? Gabby, are you really volunteering to be our surrogate?"

"You've done so much for me and my baby; I want to do something so you can have your baby."

"You're serious? You're really serious and not just saying something you'll regret later?"

"You can trust that I mean it, Nicole."

"Gabby, my heart is pounding so hard, but I need to talk with Sean. I'll get back to you. And Gabs, thank you, and I love you. Danny is asleep, but I'll get him if you'd like."

"No, no, let him sleep. Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay, and sleep well. Good night, Gabs."

"Good night, Nicole."

~~~

It was Saturday morning, and my phone was buzzing. I had slept well after a few minutes of remembering what it was like to be pregnant, but I needed to answer the phone.

"Hello," I answered in a gravelly voice.

"Oh, good, you're up."

I snorted.

"Sorry," he said before I could get a word in.

"How was your trip?"

"Terrible," he said, the single word causing me to sit up.

"What happened?"

"You weren't there, Gabby. I mean, talking to you and seeing you on the laptop was great, but there was no aroma of your shampoo, no hand to hold... no lips to kiss."

"Doug, I don't know what to say." I was trembling and had goosebumps from his simple words.

"Don't say anything, but be dressed by the time I get there."

"You're coming over?"