Finding Love in Thin Places Pt. 03

Kate sighed and nodded.

Sarah turned and rushed out the door.

Chris wrapped his arms around Kate and they kissed, a soft deep kiss, melting into each other.

"When will I see you?" Kate's voice trembled.

"I've got some ideas, give me a bit. I won't let you leave before we see each other again, I promise. But," he sighed, "don't contact me OK? Chuck wouldn't be happy about all this, and I don't want to cause him problems. Just remember. I love you."

"I love you too." Kate surprised herself. "OK, I'll stay. I meant it the first day, you're really good at this, I can't believe Carl's as good. But I'll welcome him."

***

Kate slipped quietly into her dark room. Meg immediately turned on a light.

"Are you OK? where have you..."

Kate's disheveled appearance, and her bra, socks and shoes in her hands, made Meg just stop and laugh.

"Oh, thank fucking god! It's about time!"

Kate blushed, as she set her clothes down, "For the record, I accosted him. He is completely innocent."

Day 10: The Lake District

Carl banged on Chris's door at about six. At 190cm in height, with arms the size of most people's thighs, Carl's knock left no doubt about its source, and no possibility of ignoring it. They greeted each other warmly, and Chris proceeded to give him all the information he would need to finish the tour.

"Fer what it's worth, ah think ye been swikked," Carl's Scottish brogue prominent.

Chris laughed, "Thanks. I think it's going to be OK."

They shook hands and Carl headed down to meet the group for breakfast while Chris packed his bags. He made his way to the train station and caught the first train up to Edinburgh. Arriving at the station he found the carpark where he had left his car two weeks prior. It seemed like a lifetime ago. He'd purchased parking through the 22nd, so he left his bags and wandered to the Royal Mile to find some decorations and knick-knacks for his new house.

***

Carl gathered them together on the bus. As it pulled out onto the motorway, he stood up and began to introduce himself and explain the situation and the plan for the day. The group started to quietly object. They felt unjustly punished for John's behavior.

Jeff summed it up well. "Carl I'm sure you're a great guy, but Chris has done a fantastic job. We want to finish the trip with him."

Carl nodded but before he could speak Kate stood and started to talk.

"No one has more to complain about with this change than me. You all know that Chris and I have some shared history and lines got blurred. I don't like this either, but I'm going to welcome Carl and you should too. This pilgrimage is about pushing away the veil and finding God. You know as well as me that welcoming the stranger is part of our calling. I'm glad you're here Carl. Where are we headed?"

Meg nearly hurt herself trying to stifle laughter at 'lines got blurred,' but the rest of the group quieted.

"Thank you, Kate," Carl started humbly. "Chris is a great guy; I've worked with him before. I know you're all upset and I agree with you." He went on to introduce the Lake District and the plan for some hiking that day.

***

Kate sat alone on the three-hour ride to Rydell in the Lake District. She hoped for a chance to nap. However, a steady stream of the others in the group interrupted. They expressed concern both about the incident with John and the loss of Chris as a guide. Finally, Meg moved over to sit next to her. "I'll fend them off, take a nap."

As the coach pulled into the little carpark near the Rothay River just south of Rydell lake, Carl stood.

"As you get off the coach grab a lunch sack and at least one water to carry with you. I have plenty of space in my rucksack, if you need me to carry something. As you can see, I'm quite large and robust" Carl curled his massive arm displaying a bicep that would intimidate anyone short of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.

They began the hike along the southern shore of Rydell, a small stream fed lake. Soon though they climbed away from the lake. The steep ascent left everyone but Carl winded, after about forty-five minutes they crested the top near Rydell cave. The spectacular view of both Rydell lake and Grasmere lake to the west left the group transfixed. The clear sunny day made the crystal blue water shine like a sapphire.

The group stopped and began to eat their lunch. Kate stood looking out over the picturesque view. Steve would have loved this too. She smiled as she thought of him, his loss still significant but no longer painful. And then she wondered how Chris would feel about it. She hoped she would get to learn that about him. She missed him. She missed his laugh, his enthusiasm and perhaps especially his ability to open her heart. She wondered how he would have created a thin place here for them. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the scent of nature flow into her. As she opened her eyes a large bird soared above the lake and goosebumps rose on her arm as a sense of peace flowed through her.

They descended through a light wood, small animals and birds scurried and flitted around them. As they reached an intersection with another trail, Carl pulled them together. "If you stay on this trail," he indicated the path continuing to the north, "you'll come out at a carpark and Henry should meet you there. Henry will take you into Grasmere where you can shop and get snacks or just relax. If you want to keep hiking, we're going to walk around the south end of Grasmere Lake, climbing the ridge there. The view will be spectacular."

The group broke up. Jeff and Susan and some of the older ladies headed to the motor coach. Kate and the rest continued with Carl. They climbed again. The exercise and the fresh air felt good to Kate. As they walked along the ridge, she stopped frequently to enjoy the breathtaking views. Each time, Kate thought of Chris. Even though separated, she realized her heart carried a piece of him now as though she could almost feel him with her if she wanted.

Sarah approached her in the middle of one such reverie, "Are you doing OK?"

Kate just beamed, "Well besides realizing how woefully out of shape I am and worrying about how sore I'm going to be tomorrow, yeah, I'm doing great."

Sarah laughed, "I know what you mean! But I think it's worth it. This view is just gorgeous. I can feel God here too, just as I did at Westminster or Avebury."

Kate hesitated and then began, "I feel that too. But I feel something else as well. I can feel Chris," she paused, "in my heart. I can almost hear him."

"Thin places are really about love Kate. Love from God. Love from each other. And really, they're not about places. They're about us. Thin places are thin because we open our hearts and souls."

They reached a small country road as they walked toward the west end of the lake. Relief flooded the group as the motor coach came into view around a bend. The long hike left them all tired, hungry and thirsty. The coach took them up to Goodybridge cottages. Most of the group, Kate included, took beds in the main farmhouse. Jeff and Susan and Jane and Bill settled into the barn while Kristin and Martha took the smaller cottage.

***

Chris's cell phone rang as he finished a late lunch near the University of Edinburgh. The display read, "Chuck," and he answered quickly.

"Man, you have caused me no end of trouble!" Chuck laughed. "I spent all of yesterday afternoon and evening on the phone about you, a lot of it with Rev. Helms. She is a passionate admirer of yours."

"Hey, I do good work you know!" Chris crowed.

More seriously, "I know you do man. And honestly, Sarah made a good case for beatification for you. But the damn lawyer is pulling his hair out. He's afraid John's gonna sue. He's afraid Kate's gonna sue. And between you and I, he's afraid you're gonna sue too."

"Well, I'm not going to sue. But if helps my cause, don't tell him that."

"Anyway, I just called to tell you, officially, you are not to have anything to do with the tour until it ends. Get me?" Carl asked.

Chris smiled, "Right, not until it ends. Gotcha." Chris paused, "I need a favor, can you help me." They talked for a bit more and then hung up.

***

Carl organized the group to cook their own meal in the farmhouse, and they enjoyed the teamwork and fellowship of a group dinner. Kate felt more a part of the group and its friendships than ever before. She laughed with them and realized that perhaps Chris had been right. Perhaps she needed to finish this trip with these people.

Still exhausted from the hike they drifted off to their rooms early. Kate crawled into bed, hoping for sleep to come quickly, but she missed Chris and she still felt restless. She finally pulled on a jumper over her pajamas and wandered out into the garden.

She sat and looked up at a sky full of stars. I'm here, she thought, I'm really here. She marveled at the beautiful sky and reminisced about enjoying the day of hiking and fellowship. Her thoughts paged through the last two weeks. I found love again, she realized, not just with Chris, but love with others too. I saw Jeff heal and I felt Steve and God in my soul. This is more than I ever hoped for when I clicked send and said, England here I come.

"Thank you. Thank you for letting me live again." She prayed aloud, "Thank you for taking away the darkness and filling the hole."

Day 11: Edinburgh

The group lamented seeing their little retreat in the Lake District slide away behind them as the bus made its way toward Edinburgh. Another three-hour drive seemed like a waste of time, but Carl got them up early and on the bus by half seven.

Kate approached Carl part way through the drive, "I know Chris is supposed to stay away from us, but can he join us tonight at least for the last dinner? Are you in contact with him? Can he come? I thought of calling him but he made it clear I shouldn't."

Carl shrugged and shook his head, "I don't know. You're not the first to ask. Sarah made an eloquent plea for it last night as well. I'd certainly love to have him join us. Let me see what I can do. From what Chuck told me two days ago though, the lawyer back in the States is having a shit fit about this whole thing. I'll be surprised if they allow it."

"If you talk to him could you tell him I'm really missing him?" Kate asked, with some embarrassment.

Carl's face reflected compassion and kindness. "I think he knows. But I will."

***

They arrived at Edinburgh Castle before eleven. The massive structure seemed to grow out of the rocky peak it's perched upon. Carl let the local tour guide take over for a comprehensive tour of the castle and grounds. Those who visited The London Tower thought Edinburgh to be a better castle. The stories about its bloody and sordid history left them seeing ghosts around every corner.

After the castle tour, the group split up to explore the Royal Mile, visit the Royal Yacht, learn about Scotland's History in the National Museum, or simply have tea and a snack at The Elephant House. Kate wandered along the Royal Mile, buying some souvenirs to take back to the kids and other friends.

***

As they filed into the lovely banquet room of their hotel in Edinburgh, Carl pulled Kate aside. "I wanted to let you know first. Chris cannot be here tonight. I talked to him this afternoon and he told me to tell you he's missing you too. And to have faith. It will all be OK."

Despite low expectations, the group found the farewell dinner to be a lot of fun. Sarah presented a slide show of pictures from the trip and others passed around cell phones with additional shots. They laughed and all commented that it seemed like ages ago they got off the plane in Heathrow, and yet the time seemed to flow so quickly too. Each of them felt a change in themselves. Each experienced some growth. Each found a thin place.

Kate stood and said quietly, "I walked into Avebury tired and scared and closed off. And hurting." The last part tough to admit, "That first day was special. I found Steve again. He's right here," she tapped her heart as tears welled into her eyes. "And then I found you all. Thank you for it. I had such fun for the first time in such a long time."

Meg shouted, "Yeah you did!" And the room roared.

Kate stuck out her tongue. "You're a bad influence! I've drank way too many G&T's with you!" she laughed. "I just wanted to say thank you all."

Others, Jeff especially, spoke as well and they felt joy and wonder at the trip.

Day 12: Departure

Chris rose early and checked out of his downtown hotel. He retrieved his car from the carpark and drove out the airport arriving around eight am. The group's return flight was not until a little after eleven, but he wanted to make sure he was there when they walked in. Standing in the lobby, near the ticketing and baggage drop, he watched as Henry expertly pulled the bus into the unloading area and then, along with Carl, helped everyone get their baggage. Carl waved as the group entered the airport and headed toward the kiosks.

Chris moved quickly and intercepted Kate between the doors and the check-in.

"Chris!" Her face changed rapidly from a tight and worried expression to a glorious smile as she dropped her bags and threw her arms around him. His arms wrapped around her and hugged her tightly as the group broke into applause and cries of happiness.

Pulling back slightly, Chris looked into Kate's eyes as his voice wavered with hope and emotion, "Stay. Don't go. You haven't seen Skye or the Highlands. Let me show you them."

Kate's eyes welled with tears, "I...I don't know... can I? What about my flight?"

"Stay!" shouted Meg.

The rest of the group joined in until the chant filled Chris's hearing. Kate beamed as the tears rolled down her cheeks and she began to nod yes. The group applauded again.

"Are you sure?" Chris needed her to want this too.

"No!" she laughed and cried, "This is crazy, but I want to. But my flight? Can I legally? What about immigration?"

"It's pretty much all taken care of," Chris laughed. "Chuck owed me. All you have to do is check in at the counter, there's a backstop now on your flight. Just tell them you want to switch to that one. Your tourist visa lasts for ninety days. Stay for a bit, we'll sort it all as we go."

Kate made her way to the ticketing counter, and Chris hugged and shook hands with everyone.

"Are you going to get in trouble?" Sarah asked. "Chuck told me you couldn't see us until the tour was over."

Chris smiled wryly, "Well, you know, that came from the lawyers, who take contracts very seriously. Your contract with Amazing Journeys ended the minute you entered the airport. It's very specific about that."

Sarah grabbed him and gave him a huge bear hug. "Take good care of her," Sarah whispered in his ear. "Go with God."

***

Chris merged his Vauxhall Astra onto the M90 north and headed onto the Queensferry Crossing.

"This is spectacular!" Kate marveled at the view of the Firth of Fourth.

She turned in her seat and furrowing her brow asked, "What would you have done if I'd said no?"

Chris chuckled, "Well, part of the very complicated backstop I made Chuck set up included a ticket for me on your flight back to Michigan."

He glanced at her smile. "I want to be with you. Wherever you go. But I hoped you would stay for a bit because I want to share my life in Scotland with you. And I have a ticket for Michigan with your return, because I hope you'll share your life with me."

One Year Later

Kate and Chris entered the sanctuary holding hands and slowly but deliberately made their way to the votive stand at the back of the nave. They each took a long match. Chris let Kate go first, his hand on her shoulder as she lit a candle and quietly prayed. Kate turned and placed her hand on Chris's shoulder as he took his turn. They stood quietly together, holding hands for just a moment, then walked slowly to the end of the center aisle.

Looking down the aisle they saw a brilliantly smiling Sarah standing in the Chancel before the steps up to the Altar. The organ began to play and the congregation rose and turned toward them. The pilgrimage group all sat in the first rows. Kate and Chris slowly walked down the aisle until they reached Sarah. Next to Kate stood Meg and Kate's children. On Chris's side stood Carl and Chris's children.

Sarah began, "Dearly beloved, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony ..."

Chris felt the emotion of the day flow through him. He remembered places like Bath, where they reconnected after so many years; Canterbury where he saw her happy and having fun; and Westminster, where he felt her as a part of his soul for the first time. He stood next to this woman he had loved as a young man, and now loved in ways he had never imagined. He tried to blink the tears away. Together they had pushed away a veil and opened themselves to love each other.

Tears of joy welled in Kate's eyes. She felt surrounded in love with Meg, Sarah, her children, and the pilgrims present. It was as sublime as when she emerged into the field of day lilies in Avebury. She especially enjoyed the love she shared with Chris. She remembered the feeling of standing with him in Westminster and squeezed his hand as she had longed to do then. She remembered how being in those thin places opened her heart to love again.

Kate leaned close to Chris and whispered, "Thin places."