Finding Mr. Wright Ch. 16

"The female psyche is inherently self--sufficient. I think women are maybe more comfortable, or women are able to find physical beauty in each other that doesn't terrify them."--Laura Marling

CHAPTER 16

I was in a whirl of haze and shock. I was totally floored that a female dominant bid on me and won, much less the fact that it was Miss M! I was expecting a man!

A thousand thoughts raced through my head all at once as I imperceptibly shook my head in disbelief. What had I gotten myself into? Is it too late to back out now? What would everyone here think of me if I did? If I didn't back out, what was she going to make me do? Was this going to be like the time with Ms. Oeaux? Would she just do things to me, as I had agreed with Ms. Oeaux? Well, I had no such agreement here. Maybe I should have told them that only men could bid on me. Could I have even done that? What if this was more about her, and I had to do things to her? Was I ready for that? Could I really do it? Was I allowed to use a safe word to stop everything? If I stopped it, what would happen to all the money that was supposed to go to charity? As all of these questions and more went through my mind, and I felt even more fearful and nervous. What was I going to do??

Breaking my thoughts, I felt Ms. M come up behind me. Her hands touched my waist on each side, right at the top of my hips, before moving forward and down my thighs. She slid her hands down almost to my knees before moving them upward again. This time she snaked her hands around to the front of my thighs, still being behind me, moving to the inner part of my thighs, lightly touching the skin as her hands rode upward, approaching my underwear and the soft, sensitive skin of the inside of my thighs at the juncture between my legs.

I remained still, frozen in my own indecision. What's more, though, is that I realized that I didn't have much choice at the moment. The cuffs held my arms overhead and the spreader bar kept my legs apart and rigid. I hadn't had a chance to prepare myself for any of this, since I was really expecting a man. However, I couldn't lie to myself, as what she was doing definitely felt good. It made me feel kind of tingly all over. I had no idea where this would lead or how far she would want this to go, but for now, I decided to go with it and see what would happen, to at least give it a try.

She continued rubbing my inner thighs, snaking her thumbs between my legs, right at the seam where my underwear met the skin, moving her thumbs right along that track. I could feel Miss M pressing against me, from behind me, her chest pressing against my back. She moved her head over my shoulder, her mouth close to my ear.

"You look ravishing, dear," she told me.

"Thank you, Miss M," I responded. My voice cracked and broke, since I hadn't spoken for quite a while, not to mention that I was nervous as hell.

"You sound hesitant, Elizabeth. Are you?" she asked.

"Well, Miss M, to be honest, I wasn't expecting a woman to win the auction. The thought never entered my mind." My voice cracked less, but I was still just as nervous.

"And how do you feel about that now, Elizabeth, knowing a woman owns you for the night? Knowing that woman is me." After she said that, she moved her head and placed her lips on my neck, kissing me gently a few times, then letting her mouth linger, just barely touching my skin. She opened her mouth ever so slightly and her tongue touched me softly on my neck. She moved her tongue slowly, traveling up my neck, her hand moving my hair to the side, exposing the side of my face, till she was just behind my jaw by my right ear. Her mouth and tongue worked its similar magic there, and it felt so very sensual.

While she touched me with her mouth like that, her hands did not remain still. She pulled them up from between my legs to each side of the underwear I was wearing, hooked a thumb in each side, and pulled them downward, but only a few inches. This had the effect of exposing more of the skin along my hips and bottom in the back, and just above my mound in the front. One hand moved away and behind me where I couldn't see, then returned, but something was different. Her hands gathered on my left side as she pulled the left edge of the panties away from my body. I heard a snip and felt the fabric loosen. She had apparently used something to cut the underwear on that side. She repeated this on my right side as I felt the fabric fall down and away from me, in both the front and back. She pulled and the panties came free from me. She tossed them somewhere behind me that I couldn't see.

As she grasped my now nude lower body at the hips, she moved her head and kissed my earlobe, before sucking it into her mouth. Her hands returned to each side of my legs, again moving to that point just between my legs where my mound thighs met. Her thumbs pushed into my skin, moving up and down in the juncture right between my legs, not yet touching my mound, just remaining and rubbing at that soft and tender spot just below my mound, right on my inner thighs.

"Feeling good now, dear?" she asked.

"That feels wonderful, Miss M," I responded, my voice coming out softly, lost in the sensual feeling she was bringing out of me. Responding in that tone definitely told her more than my words alone.

"I'm glad you like it, dear," she whispered into my ear. She continued to lick and suck on my ear, then she moved back to my neck and shoulders. She had me turn my head so she could reach my other ear. Since my arms were tied and stretched above my head, it made it awkward for her to reach all the places she wanted to touch and kiss on my head and neck. Her hands weren't still either. As her mouth worked on the skin on my neck, she used the back of her fingernails to trace down over my hips, up and down the sides of my body, over my stomach and abdomen, even over the cheeks of my bottom. She did this is a soft and tender manner, like a sensual massage, but with a faint touch. It did wonders to both relax and excite me.

As her hands came up over my stomach, she moved them closer to my chest. She cupped underneath my breasts, then one hand moved behind my back to unhook my bra. It fell forward, loose, but not completely off of me. I heard her pick something up and a familiar slicing sound as the straps behind me were cut, causing the bra to fall to the floor.

"Mmmmmm, there ... that will do nicely," she said, cooing again in my ear. She left my garter and stockings in place, at least for now. Her lips almost never left my skin as she moved lower, kissing my neck before moving up and down my back. I couldn't have resisted this, even if I were untethered, and I'm not sure I would have even wanted to.

She stopped kissing me and backed up, walking away from me a bit. I heard her unhooking something and I felt my arms lower, though not fully letting them drop to my sides. She had loosened the restraints and my arms lowered so that they made an almost 'U' shape. When she returned, she kissed my neck again and moved her hands to each of my breasts. She began massaging them and playing with my nipples, which became very hard. She again was soft and sensual with the way she did things. Though I was expecting her to become harder and more rough any minute, she never did.

As she massaged each of my breasts, she put her jaw on my shoulder again like she did before, resting her head there. I could see her face out of the corner of my eyes, and her eyes were closed. She looked like she was relaxing and thinking about something, but she never stopped playing with my breasts and nipples.

She finally broke the silence. "I think we need to talk about something, dear," she told me. "We need to discuss things about tonight ... and limits."

"Yes Miss M," I acknowledged. While she spoke, she rolled my nipples in her fingers.

"I've been informed of your safe word, 'zebra' right?" she asked. "Just so you know that if you need to use it, it is there." I nodded in understanding. "I don't want to get to that point though. I know other women are not your forté. I'm hoping to change that tonight." She said that with a playful, suggestive tone. "Beforehand, though, I want to know your limits there. I spoke to Ms. Oeaux and I think you are open to having a woman use and touch you, is that correct?"

"That's correct," I responded. I forgot to add 'Miss M' to the end of what I said, but I was distracted, thinking about how she had said she had spoken to Ms. Oeaux. I wondered what else Ms. Oeaux had revealed to her, especially about my relationship with Aaron. I couldn't imagine Ms. Oeaux going into detail in that area and breaking my confidence.

Smack! Miss M's hand came down hard and flat across my bottom. I jumped and let out a sharp gasp, her slap catching me completely off guard. "That's for forgetting to address me properly. I assume you won't forget again?" Her voice was playful, but a little more cold now than how she had sounded before.

"No, Miss M," I responded quickly. I was breathing quickly as I felt the pain from the slap spread through my cheek. As it faded, I wondered if I would feel it again. I quietly hoped I would.

"Good girl," she continued. "Tell me now, did you like that slap, dear?"

"Yes Miss M, I did, very much," I told her, maybe a bit too eagerly.

"Ah, the girl likes a bit of pain then, does she?" It was a rhetorical question, I could tell by the tone and inflection in her voice, but I answered her with a "Yes, Miss M," anyway. Maybe I shouldn't have answered her, since that would probably have gotten me another swat. I was torn between doing things right, or wondering if I should do them wrong intentionally, to try and get what I believe I have been wanting. Maybe that's why she said it rhetorically, to try and lure me into a sense of complacency in order to draw me into more of this type of activity. I didn't know how to respond.

"I tell you what, dear, let me be a bit more direct. Do you like pain?"

"Yes, Miss M," was my quick response.

"Oh really? I didn't figure you for a pain whore."

"I don't know if I'm that, Miss M. I really haven't experienced it enough to figure out what I like and what I don't."

"Well, I'm not sure we have enough time in one night to figure out the limit of your pain threshold, dear. I'm not into some of the more painful activities. Those take special training and experience to be done just right. That way the dominant doesn't really hurt you, not permanently, and I don't have that level of experience or training, nor do I really want it. I definitely don't want to hurt you, but we will see what we can do."

I didn't know what else to say, so I added, "Thank you, Miss M."

She ignored my 'thank you' and continued. "What about enjoying another woman? Ms. Oeaux told me that you had no problems letting her touch you, but she didn't have you return her touch. What are your feelings there?"

"To be honest, Miss M, I didn't know my feelings there at all before I was with Miss Oeaux. Before I met anyone here, I would have said I was 100% straight and never realistically thought about being with another woman before. However, my ideas have, well, expanded in that area."

She apparently liked what she heard, as her manipulation of my body changed. She kept one hand on my left breast, playing with my nipple, but she moved her other hand down between my legs, completely over my mound. She began touching there, right on my slit, moving her finger between my lips, and though not quite inside me, she was definitely exploring my folds. I gasped. I could feel my own wetness coating her fingers and making them slippery as she began rubbing me, slowly and softly.

"How about now?" She quipped.

I let out a low moan as I breathed out, "Mmm ... keep that up and I don't know if I'd be able to resist you at all ... Miss M." I almost missed calling her by her name, but the stinging in my bottom was still vaguely there and reminded me.

"That's good to know," she said, smiling. She moved the other hand from my breast and moved it down to my bottom. I wasn't sure whether she was going to slap me again out of fun or what, but she took to just rubbing my butt, and massaging and squeezing my cheeks, but she never stopped rubbing between my legs either.

"So tell me also, Elizabeth, do you like it soft and sensual, or harsh, or even degrading?"

"Well, I ... ahhh," I paused then, letting out a breath that became a small moan, the feeling in between my legs getting the better of me. Not an orgasm at all, though that feeling was beginning to appear, but more of just an involuntary spasm. I continued, "I have only really had soft and sensual. Please, Miss M, can we try something ... different? Something more? I ... unghh ... I'll leave it up to you to do what you want, Miss M." Another spasm had come over me. I wasn't in my right mind when I said that, opening up and inviting her to do whatever she wanted to me. However, the way she was making me feel, my defenses were definitely dwindling. Maybe that was her plan from the start.

"Mmmmm, good. That's just what I wanted to hear. Soft and sensual is wonderful, but I'm feeling a bit naughty tonight too, and I want to enjoy every bit of you that I can." As she ended her sentence, she did two things. First, with her hand that had been on my front, she plunged two fingers completely into me, deep. Second, at the same time, with her other hand, she ran her middle finger between my bottom cheeks, pushing into my rear end, into my hole. At some point that I didn't notice, she must have licked her finger or gotten it wet, as when she touched me there, she was ready, and that allowed her to push it inside me without much resistance.

I gasped and closed my eyes as she did this, my head naturally reclining backward. My lips parted but my teeth were clenched as the noises came out of my mouth, reacting to the feelings she was giving me, arousing me as she touched me in two separate but very sensitive spots.

"Do you like that, Elizabeth?" she asked.

"Mmmmm yes, ... yes, ma'am," I replied.

She pulled her fingers out from between my legs, keeping her finger in my bottom, but turning slightly to the side as she reined a hard slap across my my other cheek. I winced and almost yelped, but was able to contain my surprise and my outburst with all but the slightest gasp that came out of my mouth.

"Since when did I tell you that you could call me 'ma'am', Elizabeth?"

"I'm so sorry, Miss 'M'," I replied quickly. "I was just lost in what you were doing, and forgot to address you properly. It won't happen again."

"That's what you said before, dear. I think you need a stronger reminder ...". She slapped my bottom again, on the same cheek, even harder this time, really hard, causing my knees to buckle as I closed my eyes and winced in pain. I felt the sting move into my bottom and legs, even into my upper back. Any other time, something like this would have just simply hurt. But now, in this setting, hanging like this, nude before this woman, with her finger still deep in my bottom, it both hurt and felt exciting, arousing me, making me even wetter. The effect it had on me was very pronounced.

She returned to my ear, nibbling on my earlobe, as her hand came back around to my front. She began working her fingers in and out of me, both the ones in the front in my wet vagina as well as the finger in my anus. I could sense the wild pleasure stirring deep inside of me, all the while the sting of her slaps still present, but now slowly fading. The shock of that observation came over me then, as I realized I didn't want the sting to fade. I wanted it again ... and again and again.

My thoughts were all over the place at that point. Is that what I've become then? Am I a pain slut? Do I just want the pain, instead of the pleasure? Are the two so wrapped up in one another that I can no longer tell the difference between them, between pain and pleasure? For me, is it like that now, that the pain actually gives me pleasure?? Those thoughts perplexed me even as I struggled to understand them. The thought of being labeled a 'pain slut' even making me somewhat excited, making me feel wild and naughty.

Miss M must have sensed something, as she changed what she was doing. She pulled her fingers completely out of me, both hands. The hand that had been in front of me and inside my vagina moved upward toward my face as she spoke. "Open your mouth," she commanded.

I did, parting my lips and letting my mouth fall slightly open. She guided her hand towards my mouth. Keeping the two fingers that had been inside me together, she moved those towards my lips. I didn't have much of a chance to think about what she was going to do before she did it, but if I had, I don't know how I would have reacted. I didn't have a chance to think about being disgusted or aggravated, as I suddenly felt her fingers in my mouth, on my tongue, pressing into my mouth, as I tasted myself on her fingers.

"Clean them off," was her simple command.

I had no choice. The way she commanded me removed all thought of refusing her. That feeling of complete submission was coming over me now, the one where all control was taken from me, where I gave up all control of my own volition. It's hard to describe that feeling unless you have felt it yourself, the incredible willingness and desire to give in to another and allow them that control over you, that command of your actions and your body. Many people would despise the idea, but for those who are like me in this, it is what we crave.

Until this point, I had told myself that I was investigating my desires in this area, playing with all of this up till this point. It wasn't what I was, it was what I was playing at being (again, so I told myself). It was at that moment that I realized that this is what I was, what I am, and completely accepted it. With that acceptance came a more intense desire to be controlled in all ways, in all things. Accepting and acknowledging this aspect of myself was very liberating. Imagine that! Somehow, it is liberating to be controlled! No two concepts could be more opposed, and yet, here they were, intertwined and one and the same in me. The same cause and effect. It was my first true revelation in this new world of experiences, though I'm sure it wouldn't be my last.

As I accepted my position, for the first time truly accepting it, it made feel, well, eager. I hungrily lapped and sucked at her fingers. It didn't matter to me that those fingers had just been inside me, or that I was tasting my own moisture on them, smelling my own scent. It could have been anything on her fingers ... peanut butter, spaghetti sauce, honey, her own wetness ... it was the fact that she ordered it and I obeyed it. Well, maybe that's not entirely true. Maybe it did matter. Sure, if it were honey, or syrup, or sugar, that's more or less normal. But this wasn't any of those. This was something more wild, more intimate and sexual, and that made it all the more consuming that I was doing it eagerly. It made me feel even more excited, more eager, and more submissive (if 'more submissive' is even a thing).

"You like that, dear?" she said, more as a statement than a question, pulling her fingers almost out of my mouth so I could answer.

"I do, Miss M. I really do." I actually wanted, no ... needed ... her fingers in my mouth. But actually, no, it wasn't necessarily her fingers in my mouth, or even her touch. I needed her command, I needed to obey. It was almost an overwhelming feeling in me right then.

I didn't know what was coming over me. I couldn't believe I was acting like this, so baseless and craven, but the feeling coming over me was so strong. There was a *need* to submit, to do what she wanted, that selfsame desire to be touched, yet having no control over how or where or with what I was touched. I felt the beginnings of this same feeling when Brooke spanked me, but Brooke stopped short of going any further. I felt it also with Aaron, there was the emotional attachment and loving desire that was present that precluded the level of subservience I now felt with Miss M. With Ms. Oeaux and with Ossie, those were just playful encounters, lacking in the strength of true submission. But here, now, this was the first time I was able to really adopt the role of submissive, to *become* the submissive that had been dormant in me my entire life, but was now coming out of me unfettered, freeing that desire deep from within myself. The feeling was intoxicating, making me want to do more and go further and be consumed by Miss M.