Finding Myself Pt. 01

I put on my robe, took a deep breath and opened the door.

As I strolled on to the pool area, trying to look cool and unconcerned, Debbie looked around.

"Look what the cat's dragged out," she said in her usual, spiteful tone. At her age, she should know better, really.

My aunt sat up, her breasts dropping from the flattened, almost deflated balls in her prone position into prominent curves, still shapely and firm at her age.

"How lovely to see you. We were hoping you'd join us. Come and sit down. Help yourself to a drink."

I grabbed a glass of whatever cocktail was in the jug on the table (it had some alcohol in, but was mostly fruity and thirst quenching) and sat on the sun lounger to the side of the others, next to my aunt.

"Welcome back," said my uncle, without opening his eyes. My eyes flicked briefly to his cock and balls. The shaft was, in fact, quite large to my untrained eye, even though it was soft. The end swelled outwards. I knew that, beneath the flap of skin, was the darker head and little hole where his pee (and cum) came out. His testicles lay below in a little, wrinkly bag - hardly attractive. I looked away before anyone noticed.

My sister was still naked, and I glanced at her, lying back with a slight smirk. As I looked, I took in more of her body. Her breasts were large, but soft, her nipples small, flat, poorly defined. I knew they drooped way down when she didn't wear a bra - boys liked the fact they were big, but I couldn't help feeling that my firm ones, with dark, clear nipples, which erected impressively when cold or excited, looked far better.

She had a small sole of fat on her stomach, nothing too bad or unattractive, but not flat and muscular like mine - and I knew her arse was dimpled and wobbly.

Maybe I was being bitchy, but while she looked OK, I felt I looked better. Let's say, if we were both in a porn film, more people would be looking at me!

As I looked, Debbie took off her sunglasses. I hadn't realised that she had been watching me. Slowly, she winked, and smiled - a more genuine smile than I had seen from her in a very long time. I flashed her a quick, tight grin and turned away, looking towards the pool and the garden beyond - anything but the bodies.

After a couple of sips of my drink, I grabbed my book and began to read.

After ten minutes, my aunt sat up, again drawing me to the movement of her breasts.

"Carl," she addressed her husband, "why don't you pop inside and put the oven on? We'll have pizza for tea. Plenty of toppings - we'll just make up a few different ones and you can just dig in. I'll sort out garlic bread and salad in a bit."

My uncle stood, his penis now dangling freely, and looking bigger than I previously thought, while his balls now looked heavy and pendulous in their little wrinkly bag. He looked at me and smiled, making me look away instantly, hoping my sunglasses hid the direction of my gaze.

As he wandered off, my aunt turned to me again.

"Why not go for a swim, darling? Build up an appetite and free up those tight muscles. I can tell you like to exercise. You have a very athletic body, doesn't she, Debbie?"

My sister glanced at me. "S'pose". It was the closest thing to a compliment she had ever given me, and I felt she might even be jealous.

Determined to press home my advantage, I stood and slipped off my robe (happier now it was just women), stretched upward to emphasise my body, and with a two-step run-up, I dived into the pool.

It was cold - after all, despite the warm weather, this was still England - and I felt my nipples spring to attention as the shock exhilarated and refreshed me. I swam several lengths before my uncle returned, then stopped and stood, allowing the water to flow off me.

He gazed at me, and for once, I didn't feel uncomfortable - until I realised my nipples were very visible through my costume. Then I dropped back into the water and swam to the side, as close as possible to the pile of towels.

I began to dry off with my back to the rest of the group, then, and I have no idea why, a devilish thought took me. I bent deliberately at the waist, drying my legs, but making sure my bum was very prominent. Then I turned, allowing everyone to see my erect nipples, and rather than try to dry them gently and cover them until they subsided, I rubbed at my breasts vigorously, catching the hardened points in a way which excited them further, making them hard from stimulation, rather than just cold.

Next, I rubbed my waist briskly, before drying between my legs, pushing in far more than was really necessary. In truth, I was quite turned on, though the alcohol content of my drink might have been greater than I thought.

I glanced at the others. Was it just me, or did Uncle Carl's penis seem a little less floppy? And had Aunt Cathy crossed her legs? Were her nipples a little more pointed and darker? Maybe a cool breeze had blown across, or maybe I was imagining it, but I suspected that watching me had excited them a little. Debbie just lay there, a look of contempt - or envy - plastered across her face. My turn to smirk.

This seemed to change the whole mood. My aunt and uncle became business-like, moving into the house, sorting out food and appearing fifteen minutes later with our meal.

The rest of the evening proceeded peacefully, and I was amazed how powerful I felt. I had turned things round, from being the 'odd-one-out' to making everyone else feel uncomfortable. It was very gratifying - and - I have to be honest - quite a turn on.

After we had eaten, everyone moved inside and dressed - bare bums on expensive furniture would not have been good. We watched TV and chatted about the programmes, until Debbie announced that she was going to bed. As soon as she stood up, my uncle yawned, and informed us that he was tired too, and left, followed by my aunt. I was watching a programme on TV, and decided to wait until it finished before settling down.

So it was that fifteen minutes later, I made my way to my room. As I passed my aunt and uncles' room, I heard noises - giggling and sighing - some moaning - unmistakeable sounds of sex. The door was fractionally ajar, as if the catch had failed to engage, rather than because someone had deliberately left it open. I paused and listened, hearing my uncle say: "My turn to lick you."

I could hear slurping, wet sounds, and my aunt gasping - "Yes, mmm, yes. Faster. Mmm ..."

I couldn't resist. I pressed my eye to the tiny gap and found myself with a perfect view of the bed.

My aunt was lying back, legs wide, with my uncle's head covering her private parts ('cunt'). She was tweaking and pulling her nipples in a way which looked painful to me. His arm was bent and thrusting rapidly, pumping in and out - presumably in the dark hole between her legs, pleasuring her, as I pleasured myself.

Suddenly, Aunt Cathy gasped and moaned loudly, her body tense, thrusting up to her husband's face. He pulled back, and I could see his smile as he watched her climax, staring directly between her legs.

As she relaxed, her eyes opened and she smiled at him.

"Bad boy. I'm so wet now. Look." She moved her hand down, and although I couldn't see, I knew she was spreading her outer lips, showing him her inner parts, wantonly. It was hard to believe people did this. It seemed like a porn movie - but real people didn't do those things - just those desperate for money - junkies, people in debt - sluts. Yet here she was, smiling, happy, sharing her parts as if it was totally normal.

"Turn over," he murmured, "let's fuck doggy."

She smiled, and rolled on to her knees, sticking her bum on the air. I could see her thighs, and between her bum cheeks shining as if she had poured water on herself. It had to be her juices, lubricating and easing the way for his penis.

"Which hole?" She asked, turning to look at him.

What did she mean? Surely she wasn't offering her back passage to him.

He smiled. "Pussy first - maybe arse after. We'll see."

He knelt up, and I saw his erect penis for the first time. It looked big - not massive, like some that Brenda and I had looked at, but probably eight inches long, and quite broad. The head was purple, and veins ran up the side, like rivers on a map. Underneath, there was a seam, as if two flaps of skin had been stuck together, while a ridge ran along the top.

He approached her from behind, looked carefully and spread her lips, then, when her opening had been located, placed his penis on it, and pushed. He entered her quickly and smoothly, as she lowered her head to the pillow and placed her manicured fingers between her legs.

He withdrew, then pushed in again, like a piston on an engine, then repeated this - at first slowly, then speeding up. At first, I could see the shaft of his penis, just the head being consumed, then it disappeared inside. At first, this fascinated me, almost like a game - now you see it, now you don't - then it became too fast, so I focused on my aunt's hand. I couldn't see, but knew she was fingering her clitoris, happy for him to know she was masturbating. It seemed so ... wrong ... sluttish - but they were married, so how could it be? Did my parents do this?

Suddenly, he stopped. "Where d'you want me to finish?" He gasped, breathlessly.

"Wherever you want," she replied.

Brusquely, he flipped her on to her back, and moved around to kneel with his penis next to her face. She, meanwhile, continued stroking herself, smiling when he paused to watch her. I almost gasped as he began to stroke himself. Surely he wasn't going to squirt his semen on her face? Would she really let him?

She seemed happy, as he masturbated inches from her, staring at her hand, now moving frantically, tapping and rubbing herself to orgasm, her breathing becoming rapid in time with his. Suddenly, both went rigid and let out a gasp of release. From the hole in the purple head of his penis, a creamy-white string of slime shot across her face, on to her nose and cheek. Instantly, she opened her mouth and he shoved it in, and as I watched, his penis throbbed, as if squirting more of his slime. My suspicion was confirmed, as some of it dribbled from the corner of her mouth, full of his pink, throbbing organ.

She sucked, as if trying to draw more goo from him, then relaxed her lips, letting him fall out.

Then, without warning, she turned her head to the door, looking directly at me. I froze. She couldn't see me, could she? I was unable to tear my eyes away, as she used a finger to push the trickle of semen from her lip into her mouth. She smiled, still gazing at me, and the spell broke. I fled as silently as possible, to my bedroom, where I dived into bed and pretended to be asleep.

I waited for the footsteps in the corridor, my aunt and uncle would be furious that I had spied on them. Would they punish me? Would they shout and yell, while my sister watched on, smirking, calling me a little perve? I lay, shaking, waiting for the storm.

Nothing. Had she not seen me? Had I got away with watching them? I started to breathe easily, relief washing over me as I began to replay the events in my mind. So it wasn't just porn stars who did those things. Real people - old people - did them too. They did them naturally, and enjoyed them. Would I enjoy them too? I thought of an avid tongue between my legs, someone staring at me as I played with myself and apparently admiring my secret parts. I thought of sticking my bum in the air, someone seeing my bum-hole and putting their 'thing' in my 'bits'.

Then I wondered what having that slimy gel on my face would be like - and a hard penis in my mouth - what did it taste like? And the semen - going in my mouth, swallowing it - and happily pushing it onto my tongue. It seemed impossible - but - my knickers were soaked at the thought.

I stripped naked and masturbated frantically, grabbing my nipples hard, like Aunt Cathy did, and finding that it felt incredible. My climax was the most intense I had ever known, and I wondered if I had cried out, waking the others. The thought made me giggle, and I imagined them coming to my room, all standing around, looking at me, naked, stroking myself, nipples erect, soaking between my legs. Just the thought made me start stroking myself again. This time, I turned over, bum in the air, like Aunt Cathy, and rubbed myself to another orgasm, imagining my uncle behind me.

Then I stopped. That was wrong. Not my uncle. I didn't find him especially attractive for a start, and ... well ... he was my uncle. My mind drifted. My cousin, maybe. He was young, just a year older than me, and definitely attractive, though shy. The thought had me stroking again, achieving a third climax, before deciding that I needed to stop. Everything 'down there' was sopping wet and squishy. It sounded like the slime I played with as a kid, or when I wrung soapy hands. And the smell was ... I had been about to think 'awful', but that would be a lie. The smell was heavenly, and this time I put all of my fingers in my mouth, sucking off the juices and adoring the taste.

The next morning, I was reluctant to go to breakfast, not wanting to see my relatives, in case some comment was made about last night. Eventually, my aunt came to get me.

"Come on, sleepyhead, I've done a cooked breakfast - sausage, bacon, eggs, mushrooms - be none left if you don't hurry. Then we're off shopping and to the beach - clothed beach, in case you're wondering."

She turned and left. She had been totally normal, and I relaxed. She couldn't have seen me. I got up dressed, relieved that she hadn't seen me sleeping naked, and went for breakfast.

I felt relaxed, and my aunt and uncle were great company. Even my sister held back her vicious tongue, and was more like the sister I remembered when we were close. We shopped for clothes and a picnic - I was given £50 and, in a fit of devilry, bought myself a bikini. Not a tiny one like my sister's, but still, something which revealed more of my body. I also picked up a t-shirt and some shorts, which I wore over my swimsuit.

I met Debbie for coffee while we waited for Aunt Cathy and Uncle Carl (who had popped the food shopping back home and were preparing a picnic), and we chatted normally, complimenting each other on our clothing choices (not the bikini - that was still a secret), and laughing about various family anecdotes.

At midday, we arrived at the beach. Everyone had swimming costumes under their clothes - Debbie and Aunt Cathy wore bikinis which were smaller than anyone else's, while Uncle Carl wore tight speedos which showed the shape of his penis far too clearly. I wore my black swimsuit.

I wanted to feel embarrassed as people kept looking at us - men trying to hide their glances at the tiny bikinis, which was funny - but I couldn't. I felt strangely comfortable with these people. I soon realised that, actually, men were looking at me, just as much as the others - and I liked it. I even made a show of standing, stretching, bending down - even getting on my hands and knees at one point, knowing my costume had slipped into my crack, leaving a 'camel-toe'.

We swam in the sea, splashing and happy together in the cold water, attacking Uncle Carl and ducking him in the water. I think he liked the physical contact, as his penis definitely looked bigger as he walked back to our towels - and I'm certain I felt a stiffness when I rubbed against him at one point.

My nipples were solid, and this time I walked proudly up the beach, knowing people were gazing at them.

We laughed and played until the temperature began to drop, and we strolled slowly towards the car. It was then that my uncle made an announcement.

"I've got some news. Josh is coming home for a few days. He's taking some time off from his job so he can visit, and he can't wait to see you two."

I felt myself flush and almost stumbled. My good-looking cousin, Josh would be home. Almost instantly, as my heart thudded, I felt a gush of wetness between my thighs. Then my stomach churned. I knew he wouldn't go naked, but what would it be like with him by the pool with his parents and my sister? Would he like her and would she drag him into her bed? What about me? Would I have to watch and listen as they flirted and he stared at her body? Could I stand it?

"He'll be there when we get back. I thought it'd be a nice surprise."

Debbie almost jumped for joy, and I knew she was desperate to work her charms on him. I fell silent. It should have been the best news ever, but instead, I felt dismal.

We arrived at the house, and there was Josh, just as handsome as I remembered. He hugged everyone as we arrived, and gave 'air-kisses'. I felt his lips brush my cheek, and felt honoured, as I knew he had been inches away from Debbie, but my elation soon waned. She had gone in to full 'flirt-mode', adopting poses to show off her figure, licking her lips, fluttering eyelashes and talking in a deep, sultry voice about sexy subjects - especially her new bikini and how she had 'bought in' to the naturist lifestyle of Josh's parents.

I knew, however, that he did not strip off with them, and I had assumed she did, but she was determined to let him know that he would get to see her naked by the pool the following day.

He seemed unimpressed, to be honest, and asked me if I had joined in too, to which I shook my head, hoping that was the right answer. He then explained again that he preferred to cover up a little. He then asked if I had bought a new bikini too, so I shook my head - though I hated lying to him.

As the previous night, we all sat around chatting, laughing and watching TV until my aunt and uncle went to bed. Josh announced shortly after that he was off to bed, and told Debbie and not to worry if we heard him wandering about. As a student, and with his job in bar, he was used to keeping odd hours, so he might wake up at any time.

Debbie immediately latched on to this.

"I sometimes wake up in the night, too," she purred, "feel free to drop in for a chat ... or whatever."

She might as well have spread her legs and said 'get it here', so blatant was her offer, but Josh just nodded and said "OK. G'night." Then he padded off to his room.

My sister jumped up immediately.

"I'm off too," she smiled, sluttishly, "don't think I'll be sleeping though." Then, in a sing-song voice, "I'm gonna be gettin' some tonight." She skipped off to her room.

Sadly, I reflected that she was probably right. I didn't think she was as good looking as me, but she was definitely attractive to men - she had a certain quality (big boobs) which they found attractive. I sat and moped for a few minutes, before deciding that it didn't matter. If Josh was shallow enough to go for my sister, he was definitely wrong for me.

I wasn't concentrating on the TV, and the noise was irritating, so I went to my room. I could hear my aunt and uncle 'at it' again, but couldn't be bothered to peep through a crack in the door, even if there was one. In my room, I undressed and looked in the mirror. My body was certainly good - naked or clothed - and I was starting to enjoy being looked at. No! Be honest! I was getting incredibly turned on being looked at. At some point, I had to bite the bullet and embrace my true self, not the shy, uptight wallflower that I had become.

I slipped into my pyjamas - a cami top and loose shorts - and slipped into bed, grabbing my book. I didn't want to sleep.

My book was wonderful - a police procedural about a female cop infiltrating a trafficking ring, based in a strip club. She had to become a stripper to embrace her undercover role, and was having sex with another cop. I read the description of her first striptease. It recounted how she removed each item of clothing, her stomach churning until she got to her very sexy underwear, when suddenly she saw every eye on her, and felt her power over the men.