Finding Myself Pt. 01

Slowly but firmly, he pushed between my cheeks, finally finding the small dark hole. Again, I felt the frisson of excitement as he touched the delicate skin. Then he pushed forward. At first, I clamped tight, feeling myself grab his finger as if trying to hold back a fart. I willed myself to relax, and slowly, gently, his finger entered me. It was not as good as having my pussy fingered, but different and exciting. I decided it was something to explore further, and told him so.

He lay back and spoke.

"I think I've explored every bit of you. You're turn now."

I looked at him. "You know I've got to explore your bum too. Got to be fair."

I expected him to back off and refuse, but instead, he nodded. "I suppose so. It should be our rule. If one of us wants to do something, then they should be willing to do it themselves. Anyway, apparently it's good for men. Something to do with the prostate."

I rolled on to my side and let my breasts rest on his chest as I reached for his penis. I felt it for the first time. The skin of his shaft felt like any other skin, but just below the surface was rock hard muscle. I stroked along his full length before touching the head. This was smoother still, like stroking the surface of a peach, and the soft flesh was thicker.

I progressed to the hole at the tip, running a finger across the soft lips, feeling it open as I dragged across. Then back down the shaft, finally curling my hand around his balls. I could feel each one and used my palm to move them, worrying at one point as one of them seemed to disappear into his body.

His pubic hair was wiry, and as my palm travelled up his shaft, my fingertips brushed through the coarse curls. Then I encircled the solid tube and began rubbing up and down.

I didn't want to finish him too quickly, and I wanted to try more myself, so I stroked slowly, with one hand at first, then with two. I held it vertically, and leaned over, dripping saliva on to the purple head. As it ran down, I used it to coat my hand, and began the twisting movements I had seen before. My other hand returned to his balls, holding them gently as I circled up and over the head and around the shaft, occasionally dropping on more saliva to allow my hands to move smoothly across his skin.

Suddenly, I decided the time was right. As one hand focused on stroking Josh's perfect shaft and swollen glans, I rubbed my pussy with the other, ensuring my fingers were fully coated with my juices. Then I placed a hand below his balls, and ran a finger between his bum cheeks, finding his back passage more easily than I had expected. I slid my finger up and in, about an inch, encountering a small swelling which I took to be his prostate gland. Gently, I pressed on it.

I began to pump up his shaft and on to his head as his breathing became more rapid and he expelled a small cry. My hand moved faster, and suddenly, his body stiffened and he released a lengthy moan. His cock grew in my palm as I pumped, and suddenly a string of semen flew upwards, hitting me in my face, which was still bent low from spitting on him.

Three more times his cum spurted into the air, before becoming a pulsing stream from the hole in the end of his cock. I desperately wanted to take him in my mouth and suck out every last drop - but that was not in the plan. Oral sex was tomorrow.

I looked at him, aware that his semen was running slowly down my face, and licked away an errant strand from my lips.

"Was I good?" I asked. He nodded breathlessly, as I disengaged my cum-covered hand and pulled my finger out of his anus. I rubbed the goo from my hand across my breast, running a finger around my nipple, as he looked on, seemingly in awe of my wantonness.

We lay a while, my head on his chest, as his cum went cold and started to dry. Then I stood, and as the night before, used his t-shirt to clean up.

Then we held each other and kissed as lovers, whispering to one another, ensuring that our acts were based in romance, rather than just physical lust.

As we were close to drifting off to sleep, Josh sat up.

"The other present," he said, "I'll get it."

From his bag, he withdrew two items - one looked like a small, pink, oval ball with a long tail, and the other was obviously a very basic remote control. I had no idea what it was. He explained:

This round ball goes in your pussy, with the tail dangling out, so you can get it out when you're finished. The remote's for me. Whenever I want, I can press the button and it vibrates. Apparently it feels amazing - especially if you're out in public."

He stared at me, waiting for my response. "In public?" I asked.

"Like tomorrow night. In the restaurant, in the pub. All the time, I can turn you on whenever I like. All you have to do is pretend nothing's happening, while you get horny as hell. You might even cum."

The thought made me flush. Getting horny in public, while chatting with people. Even now it was exciting me. I looked at him.

"Mmm ... yes, please. What about your friends?"

He laughed. According to Chris, they use one almost every time they go out. That's what gave me the idea. The pair of you can be sitting vibrating away, both feeling incredibly horny."

We both had a fit of giggling, until suddenly another door opened. We listened as footsteps went to the bathroom, opened the door, fell silent for a couple of minutes and returned the way they had come.

"I'd better go," announced Josh, "see you tomorrow. D'you want to get some nice clothes for tomorrow evening? We'll go into town and choose together."

I nodded and we kissed each other goodnight, and I watched him leave, regretting the fact that we could not sleep together. Then I peeled off the stockings and suspender belt, before slipping into my pjs and settling to sleep.

The next day, I got up, and was eating breakfast, when my uncle announced:

"Josh has disappeared somewhere again. No idea where. Jen. We're planning on spending the day preparing for the party. Your aunt's gone to do a bit of shopping. She can't get the stuff we want in town, so she's off somewhere with more 'specialist' shops. Debbie's gone to help. Then, she's asked me to help get you and Debbie ready for the party."

He gave me a lecherous wink. Thankfully, my phone 'pinged' at that moment, and a text popped up. It was Josh, asking me to meet him in town for some shopping, and maybe some time on the beach. I smiled. I'd have to pop my bikini on under my clothes.

"Do you mind if I pop into town, Uncle Carl? I'd like to get something nice to wear tonight."

He looked at me, and I felt his eyes were trying to bore through my dressing gown.

"Well ... I suppose so. Pity. I had hoped we could sort out a few things for tonight, then spend some time by the pool. I don't think we've talked very much so far."

I finished my breakfast as quickly as possible and disappeared to get shower and dress. I even took my clothes to the bathroom, just in case my uncle decided to 'drop in' on me as I was dressing. Not that I didn't trust him, but I really didn't want him offering to let me touch his penis again.

As soon as I was ready, I said a quick 'goodbye', and set off to walk the mile or so into town.

I reached the central square of the small town in about an hour - maybe it was more than a mile - to find Josh waiting for me. As soon as I saw him, I started to run, throwing my arms round him and kissing him. He returned my kiss, but as we released each other, he whispered:

"Careful. We might see someone mum and dad know. Wait till we get to the beach. I'll find us somewhere nice and private."

We wandered around the clothes shops in town - there were only three of them - and chose some clothes for our evening out. Josh was patient, and loved watching me in different outfits - I even flashed my boobs at him from one of the changing rooms.

I was a little worried that he would want me to look very sexy. I wasn't really ready to expose too much in public just yet - but he seemed to be on the same wavelength as me. We chose things, which, he said, highlighted my 'awesome' figure, but left plenty to the imagination. We also chose some new lingerie - a bra which would push my breasts up, giving me a cleavage, and a thong. Finally, another bikini - much smaller than my current one.

So, as we left the third shop, I was carrying a bag containing skin tight jeans, strategically ripped and frayed to show parts of my thigh, and almost a bit of my bum cheek, and a loose, white top, which buttoned up to just above my bra, and was loose enough to allow people to look down it, and see most of the bra and a lot of my tits. My stomach fluttered as I thought about people staring at my body. So different from 'Jen the wallflower', who arrived here just a few days ago.

We grabbed some sandwiches for lunch and headed to the beach, laughing and chatting. We strolled across the sand, looking at the people sunbathing, reading, playing games. We went further, where there were fewer people, eventually settling on the soft sand, well away from prying eyes and ears.

"Well?" Asked Josh. "Aren't you going to try on your new bikini?"

I glanced around. Although we were isolated, people could still see us, and changing here could easily be seen. He stared at me expectantly, daring me. My first thought was to refuse - but that was the old me. My next thought was that it would be a huge turn on. My decisive thought was that if I was going to do it, might as well go for it.

I stood up and pulled my t-shirt over my head and my jeans over my feet. Then I undid my bikini top and threw it down, before slipping the bottoms off. I stood, naked, on the beach. I knew that anyone looking in our direction would see me, but I didn't care. I stood in front of Josh, who gazed at me - stunned at my wantonness, delighted by my body, and turned on by my exhibitionism. I did a twirl, making sure he got to see me from every angle.

Finally, I grabbed my new bikini from the bag, and covered myself with the three tiny triangles. Only then did I bend down and kiss Josh. I lay on the sand beside him, and threw a leg over him, running my hand over his chest and stomach, lifting his t-shirt off, and undoing the button on his shorts. I pulled his zip down, feeling the powerful erection beneath. He slipped off his shorts, leaving just his swimming shorts.

Clearly, pulling his cock out and jerking him off on the beach was out of the question. We might not have been close to people, but I think if I pulled out his eight-inch dick on the beach, people would notice. He seemed to understand the dilemma.

"Let's just tease here," he whispered, "save the real fun for tonight."

I nodded, and satisfied myself with placing my hand around his member under his shorts and stroking gently. He, in turn, slipped his hand into my bikini, and fingered me gently.

We spent the afternoon kissing, cuddling and touching each other. Exploring our bodies was fun. No explosive orgasms, just play and tease. The fireworks would happen in my room, where we planned to have oral sex.

Oral sex intrigued and concerned me. I knew I would have to put Josh's cock in my mouth - but how would I blow with my mouth full. Sucking would be better - but this is a blowjob. I shrugged mentally. How did it work? I knew that I needed to work on that nice, sensitive cock-head, but how did I do that? With my tongue? I suppose so. And when he shot his semen in my mouth - swallowing was fine, and the taste was fine - but what if I gagged when his spurts exploded into my throat? What if there was so much that dribbled? What if ...

I stopped. Too many 'what ifs'. Most other women managed it - my aunt did, Debbie did, mum did (I assume) - so I would manage it. Somehow.

What about him? What if he didn't like my scent? My taste? Stop! Just stop! I knew I was over-thinking, and needed to relax. We would watch some videos and just get on with it. I knew I would be able to see how to suck a man - Josh might find it more difficult to see what a man does to a woman. Never mind. I'm sure I can tell him.

I had gone home a while before Josh, and decided to shower for the second time in the day, before changing into my new clothes.

Josh arrived about half an hour before our taxi was due, and managed to shower and change in record time, while I waited with my aunt, uncle and Debbie.

"Debbie," began my aunt, "why don't you tell Jen what we did this afternoon. If she's back in time to enjoy the party, she might need to know."

Debbie smirked.

"I learned how a hard dick feels, and how stroke it," she boasted.

Ny stomach churned at the thought.

"Yes," she continued, "I touched Uncle Carl's penis. It was all very natural and interesting. Then he let me stroke it.

"It got hard, and he showed me where to rub to make a man cum. It was fascinating. You should have joined us. I've been with quite a few guys but I still learned loads. I didn't make him cum though. He wanted to hold back for later - it was just so I'd be able to do it at the party if I want to. Isn't it cool to live with people who find sex natural, because it is."

I chose to walk off without comment. Oddly, I agreed - sex is natural, but only when you want it to be, not just as some casual pastime. Personally, I was enjoying keeping my sex life private and special - not as a spectator sport, and not as something which held no special meaning.

I spent the rest of my time in my room, getting changed, slipping in my new 'remote-controlled' sex toy and checking that it worked - wow - did it ever - and reading until Josh knocked on the door and told me the taxi was waiting.

I think one of my moments of supreme power was when I walked past his parents and my sister in my new clothes. The tight jeans with strategic, sexy rips, the top showing cleavage, and more. I made a point of putting my bag down and bending forward, letting my top gape so they could see my bra and tits. The open-mouthed silence was deafening, but fell on deaf ears. I just wished I could have listened to the comments that followed.

As we were about to get into the car, my aunt flung the door open and shouted to us:

"Back by midnight. The party'll just be getting started then."

Sitting in the back seat of the car, we held hands, only breaking apart for long enough for me to slip the remote control into Josh's hand. He tested it immediately, the powerful vibration in my pussy making me gasp, even though it was only very brief. I was almost concerned that I might have an orgasm in public - but even that turned me on.

"I would apologise for my parents again," commented Josh, "but what's the point? They want to get you involved in their 'lifestyle', so they decide to have a swinger party while you're staying. How crass is that? They should know that it's just not right for some people - they've been working on me for long enough."

"No need to apologise," I replied, snuggling in to his shoulder, "not your fault. What's worse is Debbie encouraging them. I'm just glad they still believe in consent, though I don't know how you resisted the pressure for so long. How do they work out that because we don't want to have sex with anyone and everyone, we must be gay?"

He grinned at me. "Let's not talk about it. Tonight's about us." He pulled me close, and gave me a little buzz from his remote, making me shiver and gasp. I admonished him, jokingly, with a quick look, which earned me another vibration from the little egg inside me. If he thought this was a punishment, he was very mistaken.

We went to a small, intimate restaurant, and had a lovely meal. We had known all along that there was a huge attraction between us, and now we were learning that it was deeper than that. We connected on every level, and the conversation flowed seamlessly, with moments of laughter, serious contemplation, philosophical reflections and personal anecdotes. It was as if we had known each other for years - which, of course, we had - but had never had chance to get close.

He didn't 'buzz' me once in the restaurant. I think he wanted to avoid being sexual, and just let us be 'a couple' for a while. However, I suspected that it wouldn't last - and I couldn't wait.

We walked hand in hand to the pub, kissing occasionally, enjoying being free for an evening. The pub itself was pleasant. The band was due on stage shortly, in a large room behind the main bar. We made our way through the tables, which were mostly occupied, and ordered drinks - both of us opting for pints of real ale. Josh was impressed - he didn't know many girls who drank real ale. Most of the ones at his University, apparently, either had wine, cocktails, lager or shorts. Personally, I've always enjoyed traditional ales - if I ever had a drink, it was a pint of bitter.

The room was dark, pending the appearance of the band, and it took several minutes to spot his friends. Eventually, he noticed a young man waving to him, and escorted me over to the table. I was nervous about meeting his friends, and this was not helped as I sat down by a sudden vibration inside me, right against my most sensitive parts, which made me shoot upright and squeal - partly with shock, and partly because my pussy suddenly got moist.

I gave Josh an evil glare as he tried not to smile as he asked if I was OK. I made up a story about my back suddenly hurting, which I'm not sure anyone believed, but which nobody questioned. Then I took the chance to look at our company for the evening.

Chris was good looking - average height, athletic build with short, dark hair and a rather patchy beard. He had an easy smile and made me feel relaxed very quickly. He laughed and joked a lot, and clearly liked to be the life and soul of the party. Connie, meanwhile, was very pretty. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes and full lips. She was quite slim, with a small bust, and I couldn't fail to see that she was braless. Her t-shirt was tight, and when she stood up, I saw that she wore tight jeans, similar to mine.

Connie and I appraised one another, as women tend to do, and I think we both liked what we saw. As Josh and Chris began chatting, we moved our stools closer to one another and began a conversation - she was curious, as she had never known Josh to have a girlfriend before. She wanted to know how we met, which took some explaining, how long we had known each other, how long we'd been together - and probably a whole lot more, had the band not appeared on stage.

For a band playing in a pub, they were very good, mixing cover versions of well-known rock songs with quite a few of their own compositions. Quite a few people went and stood at the stage, dancing to the music, but we preferred to stand up by our table, dancing a little, but mostly embracing and kissing while we listened. They played for over an hour before leaving to loud applause, after which a DJ began playing more loud rock music for people to dance to. We decided to go to the main bar and sit in quieter surroundings.

As soon as we sat down, Josh 'buzzed' me. I gave him a mock glare and raised my eyebrows - and he did it again. I was certain everyone must have noticed me clenching my buttocks and sitting up straight as he did it. Then - he did it again. That was too much. I realised I was breathing heavily, and knew I must have closed my eyes and tilted my head back. I also knew my knickers were very wet.

All the time, Josh and Chris were chatting as if nothing was happening. I looked across at Connie, about to start talking with her - and once more, vibrations burst inside my pussy, now making me incredibly turned on, and bringing me dangerously close to a climax. I know I moaned that time, as Josh turned and asked if I was OK - if my back was playing up again.

I was dreading the next set of vibrations. I knew that I might orgasm in a pub full of people. Even if I managed not to cry out loud, I knew my face, breathing and body language might give me away.