Finding Myself Pt. 02

After her departure, little more than ninety minutes after her arrival, we left the lighting and ate a quick, casual lunch before Brenda and Lacey arrived.

They appeared on time, Brenda in a tightly fitted t-shirt, which made her boobs look amazing, and jeans which hugged her hips. She was so different from the baggy-clothed emo, hiding herself away, that I had known for so many years. Lacey wore almost identical clothes to those they wore the previous day, making them look even slimmer than they actually were.

We had bought some beer to help the flow of conversation around the tricky subject of sex, but, as we learned, there was little need.

We chatted lightly for a while, laughing and sharing anecdotes, before Brenda said:

"Can we talk about sex? Like - how you got started and well... where it's led to now. Lacey and I talked about it and we think you guys got it right. Please. Lacey knows about our photoshoot - I haven't shown them all the pics cos I wanted your permission first, but they know everything."

I looked at Josh and started at the beginning.

"Well. First we were naked together. We showed each other how we liked to... pleasure ourselves."

"You mean," interrupted Lacey, "you watched each other wank?"

I had no idea why I'd been so coy at first. 'Pleasure ourselves', indeed. I needed to be more straightforward.

"Yes. We watched each other wank. I showed Josh all my parts, then how to touch them, and he did the same for me. Then we used our hands on each other. We watched porn for ideas and used those along with what we learned about one another. Then the same with oral, and then full sex."

Lacey nodded. "Cool. Sounds good. We need to do that. And after that, you just kept fucking?"

"Not really," I explained. "We tried anal - I like it. Then we met friends of Josh and played with them. That was my first lesbian experience. Then we tried bondage, met another couple - then Bren, of course, tried spanking - I adore it. We did role play and last night watched two male friends playing and saw our female friend try DP."

Lacey seemed unfazed, just nodding as I spoke, and it seemed odd that they were still totally inexperienced - thought when I thought about myself, I realised that attitude was that of someone who had considered all the potential of sex before trying it for real.

Brenda spoke. "We want to try things out. For a start, we're both pansexual, so if we stay monogamous, we're not going to be totally satisfied. Plus Lacey... well... being gender fluid has an impact on sexuality, and we feel we should experience things to identify what really turns us on. We're pansexual, so open to all genders and gender identities - but we don't know exactly what's gonna turn us on to the max... if you know what I mean."

I did. There was having sex and achieving orgasms - then there was rampant fucking, and screaming orgasms, with squirting and being utterly transported. Both worked, but enjoying the latter from time to time added spice.

"We wondered," Lacey mumbled, apprehensively, "if you'd help us. Y'know - how did you add the bits from porn to your own wanking techniques? And how did Josh learn oral? Plus... I have body issues. Gender dysphoria and body dysphoria go hand in hand... and I did things I regret when I was being bullied."

Now Josh spoke, having listened carefully to the conversation. "I know what you mean. My trans friends at Uni have been through similar stuff. I think I know what you're saying, too. Look. There's no judgment here. Do you want us all to share our bodies?"

It was Brenda who nodded. "Yeah. We thought... well... if we started with you, then we can go it alone. You had a head start, sort of, with your parents and the naturism - and Jen - you had Debbie. We've not had that - so... well... plus, us three have been naked together. Lacey can catch up."

Josh and I exchanged a quick glance and communicated our agreement, and then moved to the tricky problem of 'who first'? Logically, I suppose, me or Brenda. We had been naked together many times before - plus Lacey was still physically female, so had the same parts as me. I still felt some discomfort about stripping in front of new people, however, so proposed we make it a bit more random.

I got a pack of cards and shuffled them. "Seven or less take something off," I proposed. "After that, one loss and show all the details. If it's one of us with female parts, open up and show everything. Josh - get hard, talk about cock and balls. Next loss, stroke and talk for a minute. Third time, masturbate to orgasm. OK?"

Everyone agreed, so we got started.

Lacey, of course, was wearing more than the rest of us - specifically, their hoodie, and I hoped they did not have a run of really bad luck. I would rather be naked and stroking myself than have them be embarrassed.

On the first round, it was just Brenda and I who lost, pulling off our t-shirts. Brenda wore one of her new bras, and her boobs looked amazing. Her tits were pressed together, showing a large amount of cleavage, which drew admiring looks from the other three in the room.

Next time round, it was me, Josh and Lacey. Josh showed his gorgeous, toned chest and flat stomach, while I lost my shorts, revealing matching bra and knickers - white and silky with a lace trim.

Lacey wore a t-shirt which was as baggy as their hoodie. Their arms were thin and pale, and what was evident was that their chest was quite flat, and they were very slim. We had surmised this, but now we had some evidence.

Next round, I found a Queen, while the other three turned up very low cards.

Brenda stripped off her jeans, and Josh his shorts, leaving him in just his boxers. Lacey gazed at the three of us.

"Shit," they almost whispered, "you're all so lovely. Bren. I knew you were gorgeous, and I never cared what was under your clothes anyway. I just feel... well... you're gonna be disappointed."

We quickly rallied round, explaining that the point of this wasn't comparison, but openness and sharing. We really wanted Lacey to be comfortable with this. After some talk and persuasion, I think we got our point across.

Next time, it was just Lacey and I. I reached behind me and unhooked my bra before dropping it aside. Lacey looked at my average sized titties and erect nipples, then considered what to remove. Had it been me, I would probably have lost the jeans.

Lacey's hands went to the belt around their waist, then hesitated, deciding instead to remove their t-shirt. This revealed a garment rather like a sports bra - restricting, holding their breasts in with firm, elasticated fabric which extended almost to their waist.

"It's a binder," they explained, "It holds my tits in and keeps my chest flat. Not that I've really got tits to talk about."

They sat hunched over, so it looked as if the binder reached the top of their jeans, hiding their stomach. I felt sad that their body issues made them like this.

Next round saw me spared from being the first one naked. That privilege fell to Josh, who briskly removed his boxers, revealing a semi-hard penis. Lacey stared with open envy. They liked this evidence of manhood, and, once more, I sympathised that this little tube of flesh was all that caused such disruption to their life, and prevented them being who they truly wanted to be.

Brenda slipped off her panties, showing the neat runway which we had left. Lacey spotted this, and commented on the 'neat bush', and how they would need to catch up - seeing as Josh was completely shaved.

Then they took off their jeans. I was aware of the remark about things they 'regretted', and now I saw what they meant. First, as they stood, I saw rows of scars, maybe an inch or two long across their stomach. Then, as the jeans came off, similar scars appeared on their thighs.

So this was the result of bullying. Lacey had felt so distraught that she had harmed herself - self-inflicted cuts, sufficient to leave lasting marks, all across the centre of their body. I felt anger. Rage at those who had caused this pleasant, yet unhappy young person to go to such lengths - simply because they were being true to their feelings.

Next round, Josh and I lost. I stripped off my knickers, happy to be naked, and happy that Lacey seemed to like my body. Josh, however, needed to introduce us to his cock.

He knelt up, and wrapped his hand around his manhood. He stroked himself until he was fully hard.

"Well," he began, "this is my cock. Sometimes it gets hard on its own, others, like today, I just rub a little to get there. It's not that I'm not excited by you lot - maybe just a bit nervous, and... well... it's less sexual than other times.

"Anyway, now I'm hard. You can see my shaft, and the head on the top. That's the sensitive bit. If I want to cum, I make sure I touch that bit - and cum comes out of that little hole, there.

"Then my balls. They hang down most of the time, but when I'm hard, they pull up and the bag looks smaller. They're sensitive too, and I sometimes cup them while I wank. I love Jen holding them,

"I gotta mention my ass - just under here. I love it being touched, and a finger in there on my prostate. I don't do that myself, but it's amazing when Jen does it. And... well... that's about it. Any questions?"

Lacey looked on, intrigued, but had no desire to ask anything, so we moved on again. This time, Brenda, Lacey and I were unlucky.

Brenda released her amazing boobs, eliciting a low whistle from Lacey. They were delighted, I felt, and thought they wanted to be alone and get their hands on these gorgeous orbs.

Lacey was unsure what to take off again, but finally pulled off the binder. Their breasts popped out. They were definitely small, but far more obvious without the binder. Their nipples were erect, standing proudly from small areolae. I knew they were sensitive, and they were long - standing out over a centimetre, and looking very prominent against their tiny setting.

We all told them how lovely they looked. This was not patronising - it was true. Breasts did not have to be big to look beautiful, and I knew she and Brenda would have plenty of fun comparing the benefits of big and small tits.

Then it came to me. I started with my breasts.

"I love playing with my nipples, and having them played with. I like a firm, hard pinch. I love them pressed, and I like nipple clamps. Sucking and nibbling are good too.

"I like my pussy lips touched. They swell and get puffy. I like looking at them, now I've got rid of the hair - or Josh did. I just keep shaving to make sure I don't get stubbly.

"When I open my lips, that's where the real sensitive bits are. My clitoris first. Touching it, tapping, squeezing it, licking it. Anything, really gets me going, and I cum just from having it stroked.

"A bit lower and my inner lips and vagina. I can't show you, but just inside, there's a spongy surface. I put fingers in and bend them to work that surface - quickly, and with gentle pressure. Fingers, cock, dildo, vibrator - anything works there.

"Then my bum. I'm like Josh - touch that bit of skin around it, a finger inside, a dildo, cock. I haven't got a prostate like Josh, but I love it."

We looked at one another. I think we all realised that there was little point in Brenda covering similar information to that which I had just shared - and we had no wish to force Lacey to expose herself, so after a brief chat, we decided to go straight on to masturbating.

Lacey slipped off the boxer shorts which they wore - not loose, baggy ones like Josh, but tight trunks.

Beneath was a neat, but rather thick bush of pubic hair.

Lacey looked at it and decided to address the issue.

"You're right about being naked. I'm comfortable with you guys - I actually feel over-dressed with this bush. I wish it wasn't there. Would you..." they looked at Brenda, "... would you get rid of it for me? Now? You do it Bren, but I want Jen and Josh to watch."

Josh nipped to the bathroom to grab the necessary items, and despite a great deal of nervousness, Brenda made a good job of denuding Lacey's pussy. Lacey then asked for a mirror, so they could get a good look, before pronouncing themselves happy with the outcome.

For the first time since we had seen them together, Brenda and Lacey kissed. Josh and I did not really go for big public displays of affection (except for our memorable open air foursome), so we understood their reasoning. It was reassuring in many ways. The niggling concern that Brenda just wanted sexual experience was somewhat allayed by this display of closeness.

As they kissed, their bodies touched and hands began to explore. In truth, Brenda's boobs were so large that they would, inevitably, rub against anyone who kissed them, and come into contact with any roving hands. Lacey took the chance to explore these watermelon sized orbs, making Brenda breathe deeply as her nipples were squeezed and caressed.

Brenda had to return the compliment, of course, although Lacey's tiny breasts meant that the extended nipples were the main focus.

I glanced at Josh, wondering if we should join their passionate exchange. We moved together, and had just kissed when they pulled apart, a little self-consciously.

"Sorry," started Brenda, "we got a bit carried away. Let's do what we planned to." She turned to Lacey. "You feel amazing. It was lovely touching you like that. I know you worry about small boobs, but I've had years of these things, so it's wonderful to feel something so different."

Lacey smiled shyly. "Thanks. Same. After these tiny titties, yours are just so... beautiful and tactile."

I had to consider the irony of the situation. Two people so self-conscious of their breasts finding such pleasure in precisely the things which had given them such complexes.

We sat around in our little circle, wondering who would be first. We all wanted to save Josh till last. He was the 'different' one amongst us, and Lacey had never seen a man 'in the flesh' before. We could hardly ask Lacey to start, as the newcomer to the group, so that left Brenda and me.

I gave a mock sigh. "Better be me, I suppose. Then Bren, Lacey and Josh. You don't have to, Lacey - up to you. See how you feel."

My audience lined up as I settled back.

"I tend to like one of two positions. Like this..." I lay back, legs apart, in the most obvious position, "or hands and knees..." I demonstrated the position. "Whatever, I always play with my nipples first..." I demonstrated, tweaking, pressing firmly, making myself breathe heavily.

I kept this up for a while, commenting on how it helped me to get wetter, and how I used my imagination to form a fantasy scenario. I also explained that I sometimes used porn to help, but actually preferred my own imagination.

I moved down, leaving one hand on my nipple, while the other stroked my body, postponing the moment when I would reach my target. I maintained my commentary as I reached my labia - already swollen and glistening from my juices. I took my time before opening my lips and reaching inside.

I demonstrated techniques for working on my clitoris - stroking, tapping, squeezing, drawing it out for maximum pleasure. My commentary might have got disjointed as my excitement increased, and I think I almost forgot I was in company.

Josh tapped my arm, making me jump. "Do you want some toys?" He asked.

"Mmm..." I mumbled. He found a vibrator and a wand, along with a freshly-lubed butt plug. He clearly intended me to put on quite a show - and I would hate to disappoint.

I inserted the butt plug, the interruption sufficient for me to remember that this was educational, as well as pleasurable. I turned on to hands and knees, pushing my bum in the air and slipping the vib in slowly and steadily.

"I love having both holes filled," I explained, "I've only tried it recently, but it's quite a feeling." I began to slide the vibrator in and out - slowly at first, then more rapidly. No commentary was needed, as my sighs and quiet moans told their own story. I needed to finish, and hoped I might provide something a little special.

I turned on to my back and grabbed the wand. I touched it to my clit, the powerful vibration making me cry out. Building up the rhythm of the artificial cock, I knew my orgasm would be huge. It built, and I knew I was abandoning myself to a different plane, writhing, gasping and crying as I drew closer and closer.

When it finally arrived, I think I called on god and used several very ungodly words, as I felt myself release. Not just my pussy's contractions, but a mighty squirt - once, twice, three times - soaking the carpet.

Finally, I lay back, coming down, breathing heavily. My secretions ran across the butt plug, still held in place by my tight arse, and my thighs were soaked. I raised my hand and licked my fingers, suddenly aware of the three pairs of eyes on me.

"Sorry," I shrugged, "I like the taste. Was that OK?"

They broke into a small ripple of applause. We spent a while chatting, and I felt as if I was some kind of guru with a depth of expertise in my subject - not true, of course, but I had been on a huge journey of self-discovery, and was learning exactly what worked for me. I tried to emphasise this to Brenda and Lacey, explaining how Josh and I built up our sexual interactions to identify our specific pleasures.

The Q and A session over, all eyes turned to Brenda. "Not fair," she muttered, "I have to follow that." She lay back, spreading her legs and addressed us - well - mostly addressed Lacey.

She explained that she wanted to try the things I had done, but as yet did not have the necessary toys. As such, she would just borrow my vib and show the sort of pressure she liked applied, the rhythms and pace she enjoyed and particular techniques which worked.

In truth, she did a very good demonstration, and I had no doubt that it would really improve sex between her and Lacey. She spoke about the additions she wanted to make, and how her particular idiosyncrasies varied from mine. She desperately wanted to squirt, but, as I explained, it didn't happen to everyone, and in my experience was more visual for the observers than anything which really added to the orgasm.

Perhaps I was being kind, as I knew it was only my most intense orgasms which saw the clear liquid shoot from me. I found I needed to be stimulated internally and through my clit - and be in a highly charged erotic situation. Not to mention, the stimuli needed to be administered really well.

Lacey was next. They took their place nervously, but grew in confidence. It seemed their nipples played a large part in their stimulation. A friend of mine had once said that smaller boobs were more sensitive, but knowing what mine were like, I never quite believed that. If mine were sensitive, Lacey's were positively electric, and they spoke about orgasms solely from nipple stimulation.

They moved on to stroking, saying how they had used various items to penetrate as well. I offered my vibrator, but they requested a dildo as it was what they were used to. I suspected a vibrator would be on their next shopping list - or they could just share Brenda's.

Lacey's other big thing was anal stimulus. They had not really penetrated themselves, except with a finger and a candle, apparently, but they enjoyed it. I glanced at Brenda, and felt that she wished she had a notepad to record Lacey's preferences. Her concentration was so intense, however, that I was certain it would be unnecessary.

Lacey climaxed quietly, with a gush of fluid and spasms wracking their body. I recognised this as the sort of orgasm I used to have before I really found myself, and knew that it would become more intense and powerful as they worked on it with Brenda.

Josh was ready to finish for us, but first I wanted Lacey to explore their sexuality a little.