Finding Myself Pt. 02

Finding Myself - Part 2

A little over a week ago, I had been a shy, 18 year old virgin, never been kissed. I had been on one date, which went badly and gave me the reputation of being frigid. I was body-conscious because of pre-pubescent issues which left a legacy, bordering on body dysphoria. I had only just started wearing clothes which weren't totally baggy and shapeless.

The only person who knew I had even the slightest interest in sex was my BFF, Brenda. She and I wrote sexy stories together, watched porn together and explored the whole world of sex in a theoretical fashion, never really considering that it applied to us.

Then I was forced to stay with my aunt and uncle. They were naturists, and embraced a Bohemian, totally open, swinging lifestyle. I was terrified. I had hoped they would moderate their behaviour while I was there. Instead, they decided it was a chance to 'help' me to come out of myself. I also hoped my sister would be an ally in resisting their approaches. She was not. She embraced the nudity, the easy-going sexual practices and every aspect of 'the lifestyle'.

That Debbie, my older sister, chose to spend most of the time naked, had sex with men and women, alone and in groups, at parties and in swinger clubs, should not have been a surprise. She had a regular turnover of short-term boyfriends and one-night stands, and a reputation for sharing her sexual favours easily. She was the antithesis of me.

I was resigned to hiding in my room for a week, reading moderately erotic novels, when my cousin, Josh came home from University. Like me, he rejected 'the lifestyle', and we bonded instantly.

We began a journey of sexual discovery, fuelled by honest expression of our desires, and an openness which many couples never enjoyed after years together. We explored one another, then had fun with close friends - my first experience with another woman - then played with acquaintances, who became friends.

We had oral sex, anal sex, tried bondage and spanking. We took photographs of one another and made videos. To date, nothing had been off limits. Best of all, we were in love. Our love transcended society's rules, and we treated sex as a shared pleasure to explore together. Our only rule was - whatever we do, let's do it together. We also agreed not to have full sex with anyone else. This was partly because we wanted something 'special' to us, and partly because we wanted to be certain we were practising safe sex.

So it was, that on my first day back home, I found myself in the doctor's surgery, asking him to put me on the pill. We had always used a condom to date, but I desperately wanted to feel his warm juices fill my pussy, and he wanted to feel my warm, slippery pussy directly against him, rather than a rubber sheath.

We had kept our relationship a secret until my aunt and uncle brought me home. Initially, we worried that, as cousins and blood relatives, it might be morally wrong - illegal even - then I learned that Josh was the product of my uncle's previous marriage. We still hid away, as we did not want to become public property to the naturist and swinger communities which my aunt and uncle belonged to. While we were shy virgins, the pressure to participate was minimal - as sexually active (vigorously active) young people, the pressure would have been intolerable.

When Debbie and I were taken home, Josh and I informed everyone that we were together. My mum embraced the idea. She liked Josh and respected his resistance to my aunt and uncle's lifestyle - she also loved seeing her sister rendered speechless. Josh had announced his intent to return to his University flat and stay there alone for two weeks until term started, and mum had invited him to stay with us.

My parents were quite free-thinking (less so than my aunt and uncle, though), and Josh was sleeping in my room. Mum had rationalised that Debbie had had so many casual boyfriends stop in her room, that it would be nice to have two young people having sex under her roof who genuinely cared about each other.

The doctor and I chatted easily. I had known her for many years, and rather than just doing all the standard medical checks, she had chatted with me about my relationship, about my past body issues and expressed her pleasure that I seemed to be so happy.

I was told the pill would not be effective for seven days after I started taking it (note to self - special night next week), but that the morning after pill would be useful if we got 'carried away'.

I walked away with a prescription and a smile.

Back home, Josh was unpacking his belongings (the ones he needed anyway) into our spare room - my wardrobe and drawers already being full of clothes. Mum was helping.

"Jen, why don't you go through some of these clothes and get rid of things you don't want? You've got the money your granddad left you - and I don't mind giving you some - go and get some nice new outfits."

The idea appealed. Although I had a few better items, much of my wardrobe was still ultra-conservative, and one thing I had learned about myself was that my body was good, and that people admiring it was a huge turn on for both Josh and I.

I helped Josh stack the boxes of practical items he would need at Uni, finish organising his clothes and toiletries, and then we caught a bus in to town.

We went to various clothes' shops, and although I thought Josh would be bored, he actually seemed to enjoy the trip. In truth, I'm not difficult to shop with. I see something, check the size, and if I like it (if we like it), I buy it. None of the trying on, long winded decisions which some women require.

I bought tight jeans, skirts which stopped above the knee, close-fitted t-shirts with scooped necklines, buttoned blouses and crop-tops. I also brought a sexy 'little black dress' with a plunging neckline, just touching my knee, with a split each side to my upper thigh. It was very figure-hugging, and would be perfect to make a statement at any events where I needed to be a little smarter.

Then there was the underwear. Previously, I had worn big, cotton knickers and all-covering bras, with tights beneath skirts. I had some sets of lingerie (thanks to Josh), but wanted something a bit sexier for everyday wear.

I bought thongs and Brazilian style knickers, along with lacy, sheer 'bikini' style panties. Then I selected lacy bras, half and quarter cup, some translucent, others transparent. To round things off, I added some 'hold-up' stockings - fishnets, sheer and patterned (to go with my little black dress and show through the slits at the sides).

We dashed off home, so I could 'model' my purchases for Josh, while he practised his photography skills. That was his excuse anyway. I thought the house would probably be empty - dad was at work, in his office at the Social Care department, mum was also working at the Counselling Centre, and Debbie would probably be out with one of her entourage of boyfriends.

Walking into the house, we were instantly disappointed. Loud music from the front room (some kind of rap or R and B - not my taste) informed us that Debbie was at home. We walked into the lounge to find her entwined with one of the local boys, her t-shirt pushed up to expose her bra, and both of them with their jeans undone.

She looked up at us, casually, neither of them attempting to cover up.

"Wanna join us?" She asked.

I knew that Debbie's large wobbly breasts, and full, curvaceous figure appealed to many men, but Josh was less keen. He knew that she made no effort to stay physically fit, or to keep her body firm and toned, and he preferred someone who exercised regularly, as he and I did, with sport, walking and generally being active. Debbie was idle (harsh but fair), and we both knew that at some point, the curves would lose their firmness and become less appealing.

I was confident, therefore, that neither of us wanted to join them, and rather than reply, I just grabbed Josh's hand, and led him to my room.

I suppose most men might have been interested to see what Debbie looked like naked - not Josh. He had seen it all at his parents' house, where she reclined naked every day - he had even seen her having sex with a man and reclining, legs wide apart, on my aunt and uncle's bed after a swinging party - with my aunt and uncle and the aforementioned unknown man. There were absolutely no mysteries about her body.

In my room, we laid out my purchases, and decided what I should wear first. It was no surprise when he went for the black dress, a quarter cup, black bra and black Brazilian knickers - along with patterned hold-ups.

I popped to the bathroom to change (not through any embarrassment, but because I wanted my look to be a surprise), while Josh set up his camera. Looking in the mirror, I loved what I saw. The dress wrapped around me, tying at the waist, crossing over barely an inch above my bra. The bra itself pushed my tits up, giving me a nice cleavage, and I loved the fact that it did not cover my nipples. The length was short enough to be sexy, but long enough to be decent - and the slits at the sides reached just above the stocking tops, clearly showing skin. I turned, and saw with satisfaction that the knickers ensured there was no VPL.

I swayed back to my room, and walked in. The lecherous grin on Josh's face made his opinion absolutely clear, even before he told me how amazing I looked. He picked up his camera, and started to take pictures as I posed. He directed me, making me extend my legs to show even more flesh above my stockings, then reaching up to further focus on legs. He made me bend forward to capture my boobs, and turn to make a feature of my bum.

"Undo the belt," he ordered. Clearly, this was going to be more than just a fashion shoot.

I did as he requested, the wrap-around dress falling apart. I kept it over my nipples at first, just so they would be a surprise for him, but the high-legged panties, with a narrow strip of lace covering my totally shaven slit were very clear.

Slowly, I opened the dress wider, gratified to hear him mutter "wow" as my nipples were revealed, supported by the shelf of black material.

Finally, I turned my back and shed the dress, my bum framed by the lace down my crack, curving into the high waistband across my thighs.

Josh paused. "OK," he stated, "are we going to photograph more of these outfits? Cos right now, if you keep going, I'm gonna have to fuck you."

I giggled. "You can fuck me whenever you like," I teased, "I really think I should take off these things for you - just because they're nice, and I'll feel so sexy taking them off. Then a couple more outfits. Then I'm all yours."

He looked a little disappointed, but I suspect he was enjoying capturing me on camera as well, so did not object.

I continued posing, stripping off the bra and knickers, but keeping the hold-ups. I lay on my bed, one leg on the floor, the other on the bed, bent at the knee, making my pussy very evident. I reached down, spread my labia gently, letting him move in close to capture my clitoris, before I began stroking it.

It was tempting to bring myself to orgasm, but that would hardly be fair, so, having made myself very wet, I stood and grabbed another outfit.

This time, I went for a short skirt, thong and button-up blouse, with fishnets and a half-cup bra. I felt that once I had stripped out of that, I wouldn't be able to tease any longer - I'd either have to masturbate to a climax (maybe with one of the sex toys we had bought), or let Josh satisfy me. In all honesty, I wanted him inside me.

As before, I posed, letting him direct with the new-found knowledge that he had built up from an online course, online research, and our friend Marcus, who was a semi-pro photographer. As he directed, I steadily stripped, and was in bra, thong and stockings when there was a rap at the door and Debbie walked in without waiting.

I was livid, and grabbed my dressing gown to cover up.

"What the hell are you playing at?" I shouted. "You know Josh is here. You don't just walk in."

She sneered. "You walked in on us earlier. Anyway. What are you doing? Letting Josh take dirty photos?"

I simmered. "You were in the living room, not your bedroom. No-one knocks to go into the living room. And Josh is learning to take good quality photos. I'm helping him by modelling."

Debbie didn't believe a word - and it was only half true. Josh enjoyed photography, and certainly wanted to learn more, but photographing me was all about sex, exhibitionism and fun.

My sister smiled thoughtfully. "That's kind of you. Tell you what, I'll help you too, Josh. Always fancied myself as a model. That way, I won't have to tell mum."

We were trapped. I didn't think mum would over-react, but seriously, who would want their mum to know that they were posing naked for photographs. It was something I wanted keeping private.

To make sure we couldn't call her bluff, she went on:

"And I bet some of my friends would love to see your photos. They're great fans of photography. If I pop by your room some time, I could just 'pop in' and find a few to share. Maybe if you were called away just after they'd been taken, or when Josh is editing them. I'm sure they're well protected - but - ways and means."

I was sure that our pics were well protected - Josh downloaded them, edited them and stored them on password-protected memory sticks - but what if...

Josh saw my uncertainty, and came to my rescue.

"That's very kind Debbie. I'd love to photograph you - but only if Jen's with us. She can help with hair and make-up, and I don't want her getting jealous."

I knew that Debbie would see my presence as a way to make me even more jealous, but she didn't count on the fact that I totally trusted Josh - something she never had with her revolving-door boyfriends.

I decided that this time, I would call her bluff.

"Sure, that's cool. Maybe some of your other friends would like to model too - boys or girls. We'll have to charge them, of course - twenty quid a shoot and they get five free pictures. They'll have to sign a model release form, so Josh can put them in his portfolio - like I have - and you'll have to - but it'll help make up for the money Josh has lost by giving up his holiday job."

Debbie went very quiet. She desperately wanted to ask how I could let my boyfriend do this and not get jealous - but I think she also believed that either she, or one of her friends, could seduce him and drive us apart.

"So what happened to your boyfriend?" Asked Josh.

Debbie snorted dismissively. "He shot his load ten seconds into a blowjob. Must be the new tricks I learned at your mum and dad's. I told him to fuck off if that's the best he can manage." She cocked her head, pensively. "Perhaps I'll look for older men. More staying power, don't you think."

I really didn't want to discuss our sex life with my sister, so I replied casually:

"Maybe. I've never had any problems. Maybe get to know someone a bit and pace yourselves."

She was suddenly keen to end the conversation.

"Whatever. OK. Photoshoot tomorrow when mum and dad are at work. How about in the back garden? Bet Jen wouldn't dare strip off outside."

She flounced off, leaving Josh and I giggling. If only she knew about our shoot with Marcus and Celeste - outdoors in a public place, full on lesbian action, and Marcus spraying cum into my mouth.

I removed the robe, and we carried on. This time, I didn't stop and change again. I stroked my wet, slimy pussy, as Josh first snapped photos of my inviting hole, then, as I moved to hands and knees, shot pics of my two holes, side by side.

As I continued to stroke myself, he laid the camera aside and stripped, pushing his eight inch cock deep into my pussy from behind, as I played with my clit, enjoying a first orgasm, before he flipped me over, legs over his shoulders and rammed into me, thrusting vigorously.

We turned again, me on top this time, fingering my breasts, pulling and squeezing my nipples as I raised and lowered myself. Finally, I twisted round into a 'reverse cowgirl' position, showing him my bum, rubbing my clit while his hands spread my bum cheeks, and his thumbs reached deep, touching my anus.

After my second orgasm, I reversed up his body, until my pussy was directly over his mouth. I removed the condom and took his swollen, purple head into my mouth. I felt his arms around my hips, pulling me down, then his tongue flicking over my clit, lapping my dripping juices like a cat under a fallen jug of cream.

I swirled my tongue around the swollen appendage, loving, as I always did, the smoothness as my tongue moistened the silky surface.

His fingers pulled my buttocks wide again, this time, a finger slipped into my back passage, making me pause and draw breath, making even more of his penis enter my mouth and almost causing me to gag.

I relaxed, and drew in as much engorged cock as possible, as my hands started to work, grabbing his balls, feeling the twin ovals in my palm as I gently squeezed.

Josh allowed his legs to fall apart, and I passed my arm beneath his thighs. I knew that if I wanted him to cum, there was one way which would really help. It was fortunate that our activity had made him perspire, and that my saliva was plentiful as my mouth moved up and down his shaft. I used both to lubricate my finger, and slid it between his buttocks, wriggling as it penetrated his anus, moving up to stimulate his prostate.

My head bobbed up and down, my finger rubbed and pressed, and suddenly, his body stiffened and I heard an expulsion of breath as he gasped. I felt his cock swell slightly, and suddenly release, as a string of semen hit my throat.

It ran back, over my tongue and teeth, onto my chin, dripping over his balls and my wrist. I drew my head back a little, hoping to hold and swallow the remainder of his ejaculation. I was fairly successful, feeling the warm, slimy gel slide down my throat, to join what was left from the previous night.

I withdrew my finger and turned around to lie face to face with him. We kissed, and he gently licked the rest of his cum off my upper lip and chin.

"So," I whispered, "what's Debbie going to be doing for us tomorrow?"

"Fuck knows," he replied, "I know she's gonna try to get me horny and want to fuck her some time when you're not around. I'll try to get her to stop sooner rather than later - just do some 'tasteful nudes', but I reckon she'll want to go further."

I knew he was right. Her aim would be to make me jealous, and ultimately to split up Josh and I. She thought we were naïve, starry-eyed lovers, prone to insecurity every time one of us glanced at a member of the opposite sex. She was very wrong. Jealousy would only arise if one of us began a secret sexual liaison which spilled into an emotional link, carving into our feelings. Neither of us believed that would ever happen.

We lay together, chatting, talking about the offer for her friends to model. Neither of us expected this to become a big money-maker - the payment had been added more as a discouragement than anything - but it would be good to offset Josh's loss of earnings from moving here, rather than back to his lonely flat and the job he hated.

That evening, my friend, Brenda came to visit. She had heard a great deal about Josh from me - in fact, she was probably sick of hearing his name. She knew that I was no longer a virgin, but I had been reluctant to tell her about the full range of our sexual exploration - and especially about my bisexuality. I was worried that she might be jealous that I chose not to experiment with her first.

After a while sitting downstairs with my parents, to be sociable, the three of us went to my room for more intimate chat.

I knew Brenda had taken to Josh instantly, and he obviously liked her. While I had overcome my early body issues through a combination of dieting and exercise, Brenda had found it difficult to discipline herself. She bemoaned the extra weight she carried, hated her glasses and curly, ginger hair and freckles - not to mention that she was barely five feet tall.