Finding Tears in the Rain Ch. 05

Jasmine's directions led to the highway and then north. She leaned back into her seat and turned her head toward Gen. "Excited?"

"Yes. I've never done anything like this before."

"Gone shopping with a friend or gone shopping for sexy clothes?"

"Both."

Jasmine gave Gen a sedate and confident smile. "Well, baby, don't worry. I'll take good care of you."

Gen had never been called "baby" by another girl. She knew such expressions were common in the Deep South, but, in her experience, were confined to "couples" or implied a variance in condition between the speaker and "baby", usually one of age.

It moved Gen to consider Jasmine. She sneaked a look from the corner of her eye. The woman was slim but not skinny. And she dressed young, slacks, corked-bottomed high-heel sandals, and a halter top, leaving her midriff showing. Her skin was smooth and healthy. And she was Nancy's lab partner. The obvious conclusion was that Jasmine was roughly the same age as she and Nancy. But she had money and she seemed so much in control of things, like an older, more established woman would be.

Jasmine interrupted her thoughts. "You're awful quiet. You one those 'I never talk while I'm driving' types?"

Gen laughed. "No. I'm not a chatterbox, but I do my share of talking. I was just thinking is all."

"About what?"

"You, mostly."

"Ooo. Good answer. Whacha wanna know, baby?"

"Well, for starters, how old are you?"

"How old do you think I am?"

"You look as young as me, give or take a year or two, but you act a lot older. I just realized it and it got me to wonderin' 's all."

"So, you think I'm in my mid-twenties at most?"

"I said you 'looked' like you're in your mid-twenties. You act a lot older than that, which ain't a bad thing. It just got me wonderin', like I said."

Jasmine smiled. "Are you ready for a shock? Would you like to pull over?"

"Whatdaya mean?"

Jasmine pointed to the right. "There's the store. At this time of day there's plenty of parking available."

Gen pulled into a place right in front. A large sign read, "Racy Stacy's Emporium." Gen smiled. "Catchy."

Jasmine gave her a knowing grin. "Wait 'til you see inside. It's better than a candy store."

Gen unbuckled her seat belt. Before she could lift her right hand from the catch, Jasmine placed hers over it and looked into Gen's eyes. "I'm thirty-nine. Be forty in two months."

Gen's mouth gaped and her eyes bulged. "No fuckin' way. I call 'bullshit' on that. I mean no fuckin' way."

Jasmine's smile was all warmth. She leaned over and kissed Gen's lips, light, quick, and friendly. Gen didn't flinch. Jasmine unbuckled her seat belt. "Thanks for that. But it's true. I'll show you my driver's license later."

They walked toward the door. "But if you're that old, I mean, that much older, I mean ..." Gen stopped.

Jasmine took her hand. "I know what you mean. Why am I in school with twenty-somethings? That's easy. I'm a widow. My husband owned an insurance agency and really believed in what he sold. I don't have to work and I got bored so I'm getting an education. And, occasionally, treating a friend."

She gave Gen another kiss, just like before. Friendly, not sexual, not aggressive, sincere. Gen could tell from her smile. A sexual smile, a different thing all together, conveyed a sort of hunger. This one showed nothing but warmth and ease in another's company. Gen kept hold of Jasmine's hand as they walked into the shop.

A woman stood behind the counter. Gen guessed her age closer to fifty than forty, mainly because of her full-figure, much closer to Gen's body-type than Jasmine's. The woman smiled and came from behind the counter. She held out her arms. "Jazzy, dahlin', it's been so long." The women hugged and kissed on the lips. "It's so good to see you again."

They separated and gazed into each other's eyes. Jasmine stroked the woman's cheek. "Too long. It sounds lame, but I've been busy."

The woman looked at Gen and leered. She raked Gen's body down and back up. "So I see. You've got the same good taste you always had, sugah." She held out her hand. "I'm Stacy. Welcome."

Gen took the hand automatically. Her cheeks burned and she stammered, "I, eh, I mean ... "

Jasmine rescued her. "We're not together like that, Stace. This is my friend, Gen. It's her first time to shop for lingerie. What do you think will look good on her?"

Stacy nodded. "Okay. Well, tell me, Gen, what is your goal?"

Gen frowned, confused.

Stacy tried to clarify. "Do you want to feel sexier just for yourself? Or are you primarily wanting to entice somebody into showing you more attention? Is the somebody else a man or a woman? Is sexiness the priority or comfort? As you can see, we have lots of choices."

Gen looked at the bewildering aware of night gowns, lingerie sets, slippers, shoes, dresses, and a glass case filled with devices, some of which Gen recognized, such as dildos, and some not. Her face turned as red as a new fire engine.

Stacy glanced at Jasmine. "She's adorable."

Jasmine turned to Gen. "Do you mind if I tell Stacy what brings us here?"

Gen nodded. "Okay."

"Stacy, Gen has this wonderful guy. But he's concentrating so much on his studies that he's been ignoring baby doll, here, if you can imagine that."

Stacy shook her head. "I find that hard to believe, with those breasts and those legs and those eyes. So, enticement, eh?"

Jasmine nodded. "Mainly. But comfortable, too. For instance, don't you think thigh highs are a lot easier to wear than a garter belt?"

"Oh, absolutely." Stacy pulled up her skirt and showed hers. They were flesh tone and had black lacy tops. "I haven't worn a garter belt in several years. And pantyhose are just too damn hot for these parts. And I don't care how functional they are, they ain't the least bit sexy. Yuck. Now these are expensive, but feel them. Go ahead."

Jasmine ran her hand up Stacy's leg. "Oh, yes. Perfect. Here, Gen, you feel."

Gen hesitated, but Stacy smiled. "Go ahead, dear. I never bite a customer unless she asks me to." Jasmine and Stacy laughed.

Gen smiled and felt the smooth texture over the firm muscle of Stacy's thigh. "Oh my, they're like silk."

"There is nothing sexier than having your legs encased in these. I have them in several colors. With your skin tone and that blond hair, you can wear several shades, from beige to taupe and black and red, certainly. Maybe white, but the others would be better." She handed Gen a package. "Try these on and see what you think."

Stacy took her by the hand and led her to a dressing room in the back. "There's a particular way to put these on so you don't snag them. I'll show you."

Gen cast a worried look toward Jasmine but she was examining dresses. Stacy caught the look. "Don't worry, sugah. Just relax. This is fun. Enjoy it. I guarantee you'll get everything here you need to get that guy of yours to drop whatever he's doing and worship your body. He's a man. He won't have any choice about it." She giggled.

Instead of being disturbed, Gen found Stacy's giggle infectious. "That's exactly what I want."

"Then let's get started. Strip down to your bra and panties. I'll bet anything Jasmine's out there selecting things for you. This is a slow time of day, so let's take advantage. I'll give you all my time."

Gen kicked off her flats and removed her blue jeans and t-shirt. Stacy examined her closely. "You have a lot to work with. I've never seen better breasts. And your legs are nearly perfect. Here. Sit down and let me show you how to handle these." She took one the stockings, put her thumbs inside, and carefully rolled it up in a side to side motion. "Sit down, stick out a leg, and point your toes."

Stacy slipped the silky stocking onto Gen's foot and then gradually slid upward, encasing her leg. She'd done it deftly, leaving no wrinkles or sags on the way. The black lace top reached all the way to just below the top of Gen's thigh. "That's how you want to do it—all in one motion. You don't want to tug after you're done 'cuz you might cause runs and snags. It takes a few times to get used to the right motion, but the real secret it to never be in a hurry. Always remember, you are the most important thing in your man's life and you are WORTH waiting for. You got that?"

Wide-eyed, Gen nodded. She ran her hands up her leg, relishing the smooth, cool, feeling. "It's wonderful."

"Everybody looking at you, man or woman, will think exactly the same. Such a simple thing, really. Attractive legs are a never-fail attention-getter and stockings mask any surface flaws and make your legs completely smooth, appealing to both sight and touch. Here, you put on the other."

As Gen rolled the mate to prepare it, Stacy continued. "That's right. Now bring your leg up between your arms. That's crucial. It's really the only way to do it properly. You have a lovely feminine figure now, but if you ever have any trouble getting your stockings on properly, that's a sign, you know."

Gen nodded as she slid the silky outer casing up. Stacy encouraged her. "Perfect. See? Now stand up and go look in the mirror."

Gen hesitated. "But what if somebody comes in the store?"

Stacy laughed. "Honey, no man has ever walked through that door. This is 1980 in Mississippi, not New York. No southern man would ever be seen in here. And no woman would care. She'd just smile and admire those excellent legs of yours like the rest of us. Maybe even get jealous. That's what you want, isn't it? Panting men and jealous women? Come on."

Gen followed Stacy and stepped up on a raised platform with three mirrors mounted so that she could look at herself from several angles.

Stacy continued talking. "Didn't I tell you? Beautiful. Now these have no reinforced toe, so you can wear them with strappy sandals. The reinforced toe style tends to last longer but restricts you to close-toed shoes. Personally, I think if you want the sexier look you have to go with strappy sandals. What do you think, Jazzy?"

Jasmine walked over holding a black dress on a hanger and a pair of shoes. Gen could see that the dress had a halter top with a plunging neckline, no back to speak of, and a short pleated bottom.

The silver shoes were strappy sandals with three inch heels. The soles were padded and the heels not the spikey kind. They looked both sexy and comfortable.

"I think baby-doll here needs to complete what you've started sugah." She winked at Gen.

Gen gave up all thought of resistance. Captivated by the mood and moment, she smiled and took the dress and the shoes back to the dressing room. Jasmine called after her. "No panties. We'll see how it looks without, first." Gen tossed her an over-the-shoulder leer.

*****

Three hours later, having finished shopping, Gen and Jasmine were sipping tea in Jasmine's apartment. It was one-bedroomer with a kitchen, bathroom, and living room. Gen found the furnishings tasteful and comfortable. Jasmine had spent over two hundred dollars buying her two dresses, one black and one light blue, both in similar styles, two racy baby doll nighties, the silver shoes, a long sheer black robe, and five pairs of stockings. The idea of a woman she had just met spending so much on her made Gen uncomfortable.

As if the older woman could read her mind, Jasmine said, "Because I like you, sweetheart."

Gen widened her eyes in alarm.

Jasmine tried to assure her. "Not like that. I'm not trying to buy your body. I can tell you're troubled and need a friend. Besides, I have plenty of money. You've told me you're in love with your man and I'm just trying to help you. But I know there's something that concerns you. You can talk to me if you want. No strings, sweetheart."

Gen sighed. "You're right. I'm worried."

"About what?"

"I'm afraid that Tom will find out the truth about me."

"And what is that? The fact that you're just about the sexiest woman I ever saw? The fact that you're desperately in love with him? I'd think those two things put together would make up for any defect you might think you have."

"But what if he found out about all the men I've been with? He'll think I'm just a slut. Just something to be used for a while until he can find somebody decent." Tears streamed down her face.

Jasmine hugged her close and rocked her. "Oh, honey. Don't think that way. It's not true."

"But it is. I've been with more than twenty men these past three years. Mostly just for one night. What else could you call me?"

"Searching. You've been searching. You feel a lack within yourself and you've tried to fill it. Except, instead of booze or pills you've turned to sex. Isn't that it?"

"I guess. I've never tried to think about it. I've always just moved on."

"Moved on to another man, another bed?"

Gen sniffed. "Yes. That's wrong, isn't it?"

"Well, you obviously think it is. Have you considered that's the real problem? Not what you've done, but the way you think about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sweetheart, sex isn't wrong. It's natural. Now, I won't say what you've done is okay, because it's not, but not for the reason you think. Being with a lot of men isn't necessarily wrong, but, the way you've gone about it is dangerous. Any one of those men could have hurt or infected you. You haven't been wrong so much as you've been reckless."

"So, what do I do?"

Jasmine stopped rocking, grasped Gen by the upper arms, and gazed into her eyes. "Feel better about yourself. Love yourself. Know yourself."

"But how? I'm always so afraid."

"Accept the fact that you're a sexual creature. We all crave sex, but you MUST have it, more than anybody else I've known, sounds like. I mean, seven or eight different men a year for several years, almost instant infatuation with a really good man when you find him, severe agitation when he isn't paying you enough attention to satisfy you—all this adds up to a woman who craves the act of sex like most of us crave food and suffers from the lack like a very hungry person."

Gen jerked out of Jasmine's grasp and sat back. "You're arguing in a circle. Nothing's wrong about sex and I've got to have a lot of it because I think I lack something, but what do I lack?"

Jasmine nodded. "That is the point, isn't it? If you want to get to the bottom of that, you'll probably need therapy."

"You mean talk to a psychiatrist? God. That would take thousands of dollars. I can't even repay you for these clothes."

"I know. I wasn't suggesting that. I'm suggesting that you find quit beating yourself up. There are ways for you to stay with Tom and get more sex at the same time. That's why I got you the sexy clothes."

Gen stared at Jasmine for a minute. "Somehow I hear a 'but' coming."

Jasmine nodded. "But I don't think that, as things are, you'll ever get enough sex from any one person to satisfy you."

Gen shook her head. "No matter how much I want more sex, I can't start seeing other men. No man I ever heard of would put up with that."

"Maybe. But there's other ways to get more sex."

"How. Masturbate? I do a lot of that already."

Jasmine's look grew soft. "Have you ever considered trying it with a woman?"

Gen shook her head. "No. And I thought that wasn't what you were after with me."

Jasmine smiled. "It's not my primary motivation. But now I sense desperation in you. Tell you what, try the clothes. Use them to get Tom to focus on you more. If that doesn't work well enough to satisfy you, I'll be here."

"You've been with other women? Stacy?"

"Yes. Since my husband died, I've found that I prefer women, though I occasionally take a man into my bed. Everyone has her preferences, but I find affairs with women to be more practical. For one thing, we're more equal; you don't have all the power struggles. And it's physically safer in a number of ways. Of course, I'm not trying to pressure you. Tell you what, have you ever watched a pornographic movie?"

"No."

"I have several and a video player. If you feel like you might want to try, we'll watch some movies first, just to see how you react. If you're not repulsed by something you see, that's a good indicator that you're not really against the idea.

She put her hand on Gen's. Gen didn't pull away. "But no matter what you decide, I will continue to like you and want to help you. I'll be your friend either way. I'll never bring this subject up again. It will be totally your decision which direction we go. You're invited here for lunch every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. All my classes are Tuesday-Thursday's. Sometime we'll eat here, sometimes in a restaurant. But you'll always be in control of what happens. You'll never feel any pressure from me. Is that a deal?"

Gen's voice sounded small. "Yes. I'm sorry if I offended you. You're just trying to be a friend. I need one real bad."

Jasmine patted her hand. "No offense taken. I've been in turmoil myself, before. I know a little how you feel." She gave Gen a friendly kiss on the lips before rising. "It's getting late and you have a man to seduce. Need help with your packages?"