All Comments on 'First Date Risks & Rewards'

Loved this story. The thought of being totally naked with a mom and daughter is great. How about chapter 2 where he moves in and has to stay naked all the time fucking both of them whenever they want.

That was so good! The writing wasn't masterful, but that actually made it clear that you had a story you wanted to tell and were putting effort into it. I have ADHD and it can be hard to focus for me when reading, but I write this all in one sitting with rapt attention! It was the characters and events that were so engaging to me.

Kyle, Susan, and Mary don't feel like dolls on a table or cardboard standees on a set. Their motivations drove the story, they were deep enough to seem like real people without bogging the story down with facts about them, and their personalities were nice and vibrant. Their dialogue especially seemed to change based on who was talking, and character voice is a rare skill! I have to say, it was sometimes startling just how much Susan reminded me of myself. Vivacious, gently dominant, encouraging to a guy she's domming rather than ridiculing or forcing him, cares about consent, doesn't mind undressing a bit for a guy even though she prefers CFNM, and fixated on penises and worshipping a naked guy's body. Her leading him around with a hand on his cock and being reluctant to let it go is such a rare thing in CFNM stories so seeing it here was such a treat! The way she teased him but never abused him shows that you know how to capture nuance even though you're writing porn, and that's sadly rare on this site.

It was also nice to see some character description and some setting. The way you established Kyle and Susan's occupation and living situation added context for the backdrop of the story and seeing mentions of Susan's curves and large breasts helped remind us that she was physically present with Kyle and he was enjoying her body as much as she was his. It was also lovely the way you described locations like Susan's office, giving us a base to build the picture in our heads off of as we read.

The only real criticism I can think to levy is that you used a few words too often (but nothing egregious or distracting) and the part where Susan tied Kyle up could've used a bit more description of how she was doing it, rather than "she tied him up."

Overall, this story is a rare gem and I hope it gets more well-deserved attention! <3

The wonderful thing about Literotica is favorite fantasies can be turned into stories, no matter how incredibly unrealistic they are.