All Comments on 'First Real Man Ch. 01'

Your story is not erotic or lustful. You keep interrupting the action with the guy's thoughts about other sex scenes in porn he watches. Try again.

i liked it , reminded me of a meeting i had with a guy i met on line

it turned out to be very hot, normally i just get sucked off but he started there and ended up geting me so hot lickin my ass i had to have his cock

It was easy to follow. Intermixed past and present worked for me and made it interesting.

Good story... Good technique of mixing present with flashback to provide the background without making the reader wait for the good stuff.

The technique you chose to use to narrate this vignette was well-thought-out and well executed. It added to the tension, which is already pretty high as you are describing a clearly enjoyable sexual encounter.

...the narrative movement between the past and the present is a kind of textual reflection of the oral sex -- the movement of the lover's mouth up and down mirrors the movement of the story. The upward movement (retreat) is the past, the downward movement (advance) the present. That's a very smart, very "writerly" technique!

Hot hot hot. This is still pretty much how I get each time I go out looking for a hook up. Unbelievably nervous anxious & aroused all at once. Wanting hoping needing to suck cock & swallow cum. Maybe eat his ass, suck balls, kiss. Get naked, sensual & maybe even a bit rough but definitely hoping to find a guy who’s thoughtful & patient enough to want to finally take my anal virginity. Oh god I hope to find this man soon at 56 I may never get to experience this but I keep praying that will happen soon.