Fishing with My Daughter Pt. 02

Fishing with My Daughter: The Big Question

This is a sequel to my story Fishing with My Daughter. I never anticipated a follow-on story, but some comments on the original suggested it might be fun and this is the result. I like the idea of a father and daughter talking about the big questions in life as they fish together, so perhaps there will be more down the road. I'll try not to abuse the privilege.

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My daughter, Julie, and I were out on our local stream. It was a cool autumn day. The sun was warm, but the days were growing short and the water was getting cold. She's a remarkable fly fisher, this daughter of mine. She started going with me when she was just ten and learned quickly until she could teach her old man a thing or two about reading the stream and catching fish. Fishing with my daughter is one of the great joys in my life. It's also the time when she seems to have those big life questions that need answers.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Jules."

"What do you think of David?"

I looked at my daughter. In all her years she had never asked me my opinion on any young man that she ever dated. This seemingly innocuous question was about as far from an idle rumination as Shakespeare's Romeo pondering "To be, or not to be..."

Julie had graduated college four months ago and gotten a job in town. I had no doubt she would do well. She was just that kind of girl who worked hard and always did her best. David was her on-again, off-again boyfriend from the time she was twelve. Other boyfriends came and went, but David was never very far away. They went to different colleges, but I knew they stayed in touch; and when they were home on vacation, we were guaranteed to see him at the dinner table or gathered around the television with the family. He was so much a fixture in our house that I considered him an unofficial member of the family.

No, my daughter had never asked me what I thought of the young man.

"Well, you know your mother and I like David. He's always been respectful and helpful. He's polite and he seems to look after you whenever he can. He's not what I'd call a snappy dresser, but I've seen worse."

"That's not what I mean, dad. What do you think of him? Is he a good man? Is he an honest man?"

"Jules, you know the answer to that better than I do. What do you think?"

"I think he is. I've never caught him being anything less than completely truthful."

"Then he's not one of those Eddie Haskell types?"

"Who's Eddie Haskell?"

"Oh, right, you're not old enough to remember. He was a character on television. He was all polite and charming to parents and then a major jerk once the parents left the room."

She was giggling now. "No, David's not an Eddie Haskell type. With David, what you see is what you get. He's the same man no matter who's in the room."

That was an interesting slip. My daughter had always referred to men her own age as "boys". Now, David was a "man".

"So, what brings this up?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering. Can't a girl make idle conversation with her father?"

Oh, I knew that tone. And I know where she learned it, too. I decided to play it cool, let the subject drop, and see if she brought it up again.

She did. We were sitting alongside the stream, nearing the end of our lunch when she said, "David has asked me to go up into Maine next week. He wants to visit Acadia and check out some of the small towns along the coast. Do you think I should go?"

"Well, you're a big girl, Jules, and you can make these decisions for yourself."

"I mean, would you and mom think badly of me if I did? Would you think badly of David?"

"Sweetie, your mom and I had a job to do. We had to get you to this point in your life where you can make your own decisions. We love you and we only want the best for you."

"Thanks, dad."

"Of course, I'll have to break both of David's legs, but that goes without saying."

"Dad!"

"Okay, just one?"

"Dad?"

"An arm, then." Oh, I was getting the look!

"Can I at least glare at him a little?"

"No." She said it firmly, but she was giggling just a bit when she said it.

"You two are going to have separate rooms, right?"

No answer. It was like she didn't even hear the question. Okay, maybe I was pushing it just a bit too far.

The rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully. The subject of David and the pending trip didn't come up again. Of course, when I got home, I briefed her mother on what was coming. I was well trained by that point in my marriage and I knew who the real decision maker was in the family, although I denied it publicly as often as I could. My wife seemed strangely calm about the whole thing and reminded me of the trip she and I had made to Maine after I graduated college and she still had a year to go. That didn't put my mind at ease even a little bit. Before that week, we had managed to spend a few rare nights sleeping in the same bed, but it had always been done in secret. Our parents never knew, or so we assumed. Of course, I had also ordered a ring from a shop in Portsmouth where her father had ordered the engagement ring for her mother and we came back from our trip engaged to be married, so we never caught much flack from the parents about our week away. It occurred to me that I needed to apologize to her parents for all that I may have put them through during those years.

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. My daughter and my wife must have talked over plans for the coming week, but I was never privy to those discussions. Whatever they said remained a secret to me. I did have one very interesting discussion with David not long before they left. I never actually promised my daughter not to glare; but I liked this young man, so I behaved myself despite the temptation. It turned out he's as much a traditionalist as I was at his age and sometime, perhaps in the distant past, my wife had mentioned where we got her engagement ring and he remembered. He asked me the question that fathers have been asked for generations and I answered, but I never told my wife about it. If that's the way she's going to play it then two can keep secrets.

It was late Sunday afternoon when the two of them got back from their trip. We had invited his parents over for dinner that night - for no particular reason, of course. I think my wife may have mentioned our plans when she talked to her daughter one evening. The four of us were sitting on the back porch enjoying a few beers when the two travelers made their entrance. One look and I knew they wouldn't contain their excitement for long. They were huddled together, holding hands. Julie was shaking like a leaf and David looked as nervous as that first time he came to the door to fetch my daughter for a date. I don't know if his parents had any idea; but if they did, they played it very cool. My wife seemed unaware and just smiled, but she is the best actress in the family.

Jules took the initiative. "Mom, dad, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, we have something we need to tell you." With that, she just removed her hand from her pocket and flashed the ring for all to see. Well, you know what happened next. There was laughter and screams, tears and hugs. The mothers got into the action, too. Eventually, the fathers took a back seat and let the mothers ask all the questions. Fathers don't know what to say at a time like that.

The only other thing that I remember clearly after that was when Julie asked her future mother-in-law something about wedding plans. Genny Taylor looked my daughter in the eyes and said, "Girl, if you ever call me Mrs. Taylor again, I will paddle your behind." Julie's eyes opened wide as she stared at her future mother-in-law. "From here on, it's either Genny or `mom Taylor' or whatever else you come up with." That made my daughter start crying all over again. My wife was tearing up, too.

After all the excitement was over, the Taylors went home with my daughter and her new fiancé in tow and my wife went upstairs to get ready for bed. I took a few minutes to think back on my little girl, the joys and challenges of raising her, and what a wonderful young woman she had become. I was lost in my thoughts of the past and the future when the reality of the moment finally hit me: We were about to be the ultimate empty nesters. Our daughter was about to build her own nest and our role as parents, hopefully someday to be grandparents, was about to change radically. I started to wonder if my daughter and I would still be fishing buddies? Would she still come to me with the big questions? Would he? It then dawned on me that I needed to teach David to fish!

I sat there a few minutes longer, remembering the past and anticipating the future, when I realized that I wanted to celebrate! This was one of those moments in time that you hold close to you the rest of your life and there was only one person I wanted to celebrate with. I bounded up the stairs two at a time, burst through the bedroom door, and saw the love of my life sitting on the edge of the bed wearing a little something she brought out on special occasions. Her eyes were ablaze and she smiled as she said, "It took you long enough!"