Fitness Fest Fiasco

"Ladies and gentlemen," the Headmaster of Gonzaga College High School, where both Will and Jules were seniors, began, "thanks again for coming. We hope you've enjoyed the evening so far but, rest assured, we've saved the best for last. Only two awards - the two most prestigious - remain to be presented. First, Rachel Miras is going to present the coveted "Fitness Influencer of the Year" to a very deserving Mrs. Nicole Yanika Silver. Thereafter, once you've been awed by a pose-down show put on by our very own Will Parnell, Nicole will present him with this year's "Annual Adonis" trophy. So, without further ado, I present Mrs. Rachel Miras, the Chevy Chase PTA President and a noted contributor to the gala and the community generally. Please welcome Rachel."

As the crowd, already abuzz with the conversations taking place at each table, collectively applauded, Rachel Miras made her way out from the grand stage's wing to the podium that stood stage right. The rather rotund Mrs. Miras, who despite her own best efforts had not had complete success at keeping weight off her mere five-foot, three-inch frame, this evening wore a floor length blue gown and a pair of low black heels. In her hands she carried an enormous trophy - the "Fitness Influencer of the Year" prize while, standing next to the podium as she arrived, was the even taller "Annual Adonis" award that Nicole was scheduled to present to Will Parnell after his show.

"Thank you, Doctor Bloom," Rachel began, "and thanks to all of you who have made it out tonight. Before I introduce tonight's winner, I've been asked to show a brief video of all that she has done during the year to better our understanding of fitness, wellness and the benefits of being in shape."

With that, the stage went dark and a montage of Nicole's fitness Instagram posts played while her own voice - over soft music - narrated in the background. Needless to say, it was the height of hubris and self-promotion -- Nicole in tight gym clothes, full makeup and a smile lifting weights, Nicole in a bikini during a fitness competition, Nicole in a tight dress in an ad for a local car dealership. Although the men in the audience were clearly lapping it up, Rachel and most other women present, were sick of the town tease showing herself off yet again. Thankfully it was only three what seemed interminable minutes and the lights finally came up again.

"Well," said Rachel finally, "as if that wasn't already enough . . . I'm now pleased to introduce in person this year's winner of the Fitness Influencer of the Year award, with her catch phrase of 'Release Your Outer Beauty,' Nicole Yanika Silver."

As Katherine Wray and many of the men in the audience imagined what it would be like to see Nicole release her outer beauty, the haughty hottie made her way up to the stage to accept her trophy from Rachel.

"Oh my gosh," gushed the supercilious Mrs. Silver with false modesty, "I can't believe that you all voted for me. I'm truly honored to be able to come into your homes via Instagram and encourage you - especially you ladies out there - to be the best, fittest, most beautiful versions of yourselves."

As Rachel practically choked on the domineering diva's words, Nicole nearly tore the trophy from her hands.

"Thank you soooo much Rachel," she feigned enthusiasm, "and for those of you wondering, based on how she looks tonight, you can rest assured that Mrs. Miras here is not one of my many, many, followers. Even I'm not good enough to help . . . well . . . that."

And as Nicole, mockingly motioned from Rachel's head to her feet with a long, opera gloved, bejeweled, muscular arm, the men in the audience laughed uproariously while the women stared daggers at the showy MILF, sympathizing with the butt of her joke.

"My poor mom," whispered Sharon to Jules as both, still backstage, looked on.

Although he merely nodded his head in agreement, what Jules was really hoping was that his mom, for once, would be the one embarrassed. His wish would soon come true - in spades.

Still standing at the podium, regal in her long elegant black gown, sky high heels, opera gloves and jaunty beret, Nicole began what would be the final award presentation of the night. As Rachel took a step back, eyeing still the train of Nicole's gown which was merely inches from where she stood, Nicole stepped up to the mic.

"For this evening's highlight, I'd like to present Will Parnell - a scholar-athlete from our own Gonzaga High School and a paradigm of my own watchwords, 'release your outer beauty,' who will now share his with us in a bodybuilding pose-down after which I'll present him with this year's Annual Adonis award. Will, the stage is yours."

As a spotlight shone on center stage, exactly where Jules had mopped copious amounts of baby oil to add some spice to the big event, the orchestra began a rousing rendition of, Thus Spake Zarathustra, the iconic music from 2001 A Space Odyssey.

Will in the meantime, began his strut onto the stage, outside the view of anyone but himself, Sharon and Jules, by pushing poor Jules out of the way and onto the ground backstage.

"Out of my way loser," the arrogant stud scoffed, "it's time for a real man to put on his show."

Stepping into the spotlight as he came into view of the audience, Will Parnell, wearing only his Speedo, tan, and a smile, threw his muscular arms in the air as the crowd cheered wildly. As the Annual Adonis made his way to the center of the stage, where he confidently got ready to strike his first pose, fate and some prudent planning intervened. No sooner had Will taken a strong step forward while "showing off the guns" as he liked to call it, then did his feet slip completely out from under him, causing him to come crashing down on his Speedo covered ass.

"What the fuck . . ." came his shocked cry as the audience, first stunned to silence by his fall, began to snigger at his misfortune.

But things then went from bad to worse, trying to regain his footing as nonchalantly as possible, the muscle headed moron again slipped forward this time crashing down face first and sliding along the stage floor. The crowd, unable to contain itself any longer, burst into hysterics - they were howling as Will continued to slip and slide all over the place.

"Oh my God, this is so great," laughed Sharon Miras as her soon to be ex-boyfriend made a fool of himself in front of the entire town.

"You're telling me," guffawed Jules, loving the comeuppance being endured by his bully, "I don't think this night could get any better."

But soon it would.

"Oh my God poor Will," intoned Nicole Silver to a doubled over Rachel Miras, "this is so embarrassing for him."

Rachel suddenly saw an opportunity and pounced on it.

"And not just for him Nicole, for the entire fitness industry, and for you," she falsely sympathized. "Isn't Will one of your most important followers? If you don't want this to blowback on your numbers you better get in there. You wouldn't want his embarrassment to become your own."

Not wanting to acknowledge that Rachel had a point, and hating the fact that the little Hobbit was enjoying Will's humiliation, Nicole knew she was right. She had to act.

"Hold this," the flustered femme fatale snapped at Rachel handing her the Adonis Award that she had intended to present to Will, "and get out of my way fat ass, I need to put an end to this now."

And then it happened, as Nicole practically shoved the award into Rachel's hands, while pushing past her to provide some much-needed assistance to her hunky young protégé, Rachel Miras acted. She firmly placed her heel on the train of Nicole's gown and then put all of her considerable weight - the weight that Little Miss Perfect always poked fun at - to work.

As the crowd watched on, Nicole's march in to save Will seemed to be stopped in its tracks as her designer gown appeared to hug her fit form more than ever while the long slit in the front of said frock opened to show a mouthwatering amount of muscled thigh. Turning to see what was impeding her, Nicole made eye contact directly with Rachel who thought for sure the jig was up.

"My gown you idiot," Nicole stormed, "it's clearly caught on something. Don't just stand there you fat fool, help me."

Rachel was nothing if not quick on her feet, especially in this case her right foot.

"I see it Nicole, it looks like it's snagged on the corner of the podium. Give me just a second, and I'll get it free."

Annoyed but satisfied that she'd soon be able to help Will and put an end to the chaos, Nicole again turned to head to his aid. In the meantime, Rachel stepped on an even larger area of the gown's fabric and - moving closer to where Nicole stood, gave her a hearty shove toward the floundering Will Parnell. What came next would be the beginning of the end for Jules' mom and Sharon's boyfriend.

Feeling Rachel's shove, Nicole began to turn around with fire in her eyes, intent on making the smaller woman pay the price for daring to push her. Unfortunately, the force of Rachel's shove along with that turn caused the slick bottoms of Nicole's very high heels to come upon the oiled-up part of the stage. As the perennially poised prima donna's eyes grew as big as saucers with surprise, her muscular legs began to slide out from under her. Not having moved an iota from where she stood on the train of Nicole's dress, Rachel now had the pleasure of watching it begin to tear - with a resounding RIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP - that echoed through the entire auditorium, from the sexy solicitor's perfect body. As the audience rose to its feet - the women beside themselves at Mrs. Silver's undoing and the men and boys hard as rocks at seeing the unveiling of her magnificent body with which she had always teased them - Nicole Yanika Silver found herself in only her high heels, black opera gloves, beret and the tiniest whisp of a black diaphanous thong, sliding headlong toward a stunned Will Parnell who had finally gotten to his feet but by no means steadily.

"My dress . . . my beautiful dress," the denuded diva cried as she tried to slow her momentum toward the teetering teen, "I'm practically naked . . . they can all see my . . . my . . . titties. Oh my God!"

But her mortification was about to go from bad to worse. Unable to gain any purchase on the oiled-up floor, Nicole reached up frantically toward the equally shell-shocked Will to try to stop her slide. Intending to use his muscular thigh to anchor herself, Nicole instead merely grabbed onto his tiny Speedo which - given her momentum - tore completely from the young stud's body. Worse yet, as Will reached out fruitlessly to reclaim his lost cover, he managed instead to catch a handful of Nicole's long blond tresses - in this case mere hair extensions - which with her stylish beret came tearing from her head.

"My Speedo," cried Will Parnell in a voice much higher than his normal baritone, "you tore off my Speedo."

"My hair," screamed Nicole in tandem, "my gorgeous hair."

To the extent that crowd was shocked to see that Nicole's long, silky mane was not exactly what was advertised, it was gob-smacked one hundred times over at the surprise unveiled by Will's stripping.

"Oh my God," came a cry from the crowd, "the Adonis has a micro-dick."

Humiliated beyond words as he tried to cover his undersized equipment with one hand and his bare white ass with the other, Will Parnell did his best to protest.

"No, it's not what it looks like," he shrieked, "it's just cold in here."

But it was a too late for him as it was for Nicole who, in addition to her hair troubles, was realizing that the oil she was still slipping in was causing her spray on tan to run.

"What a joke," one woman cried, "she's a complete fake."

"I'm no such thing," croaked Nicole trying unsuccessfully to recover some dignity while shielding her perfectly naked body from view, "I'm powerful, and gorgeous and . . ."

"And what Nicole," came Rachel Miras' laughing voice as she stood just outside the oil slick in which Mrs. Silver and Will Parnell still found themselves floundering.

"You," Nicole shouted with rage at the howling Mrs. Miras, "you did this to me and now you're going to pay you fat little Hobbit."

But Nicole couldn't keep herself from sliding and as she lunged wildly toward the smaller Mrs. Miras, who had been handed a chair by the now broadly smiling stage so as to avoid the mess herself, she suddenly found herself falling across Rachel's lap in nothing but her heels, thong and opera gloves. Delighted by the powerful princess falling quite literally into her lap, Rachel took a torn piece of Nicole's fancy dress to secure the bigger woman's hand behind her back.

"I think someone needs a spanking," Rachel exclaimed as the crowd cheered her on like a conquering heroine.

"That makes two of them," came a man's voice from across the stage as Jules Silver pulled a completely broken, mortified and naked Will Parnell across his lap while Sharon Miras stood by smiling.

And with that Rachel and Jules went to work punishing Jules' mom and Will. Who would have thought that these two muscular show-offs would be cowed and undone by the complicity of their own arrogance and the resilience of the very people who they always looked down upon. As the audience went wild Rachel and Miras had a bit of fun with their prey.

"Do you feel that lump in my pants Parnell," the victorious Jules taunted the now blubbering bully, "that's the only muscle that I need . . . isn't it."

"Yes," Will whispered.

"Yes, what Will," Jules toyed.

"Yes, sir," Will answered.

"That's right Will," Jules went on, "and . . . by the way . . . who's the real man here."

"You are sir," Will wept.

Across the stage, Rachel was likewise putting a fitting end to Nicole's fit end.

"Looks like I released your outer beauty tonight didn't I Nicole," she teased.

"Yes ma'am," the bemused beauty practically whispered in response.

"I think you're going to need some time away from social media, don't you," Rachel continued.

"Yes, ma'am," came the same answer again.

"And we're not going to need to be prancing around in these . . . or these . . . or these," Rachel continued as she tore off Nicole's tiny thong, peeled off her opera gloves and let her high heels fall from her feet to the stage floor, "are we."

"No Miss Rachel," Nicole embarrassingly agreed, "we're not."

"And Nic," Rachel teased knowing what she was about to say was completely untrue but also sure in her words' ability to crush whatever was left of Nicole's gargantuan ego, "is it me or is your ass . . . I don't know . . . a bit fat."

Understanding exactly what was happening, the nerdy stage manager quickly jumped in.

"I think you're right Mrs. Miras," she opined, "she does have a fat ass - don't you Mrs. Silver."

Nicole was dumbstruck. Her ass was perfect, without any flaw. She wasn't at all fat - was she. Why was she doubting herself? And why was she getting wet?

"Well you big tease - answer the girl," commanded Rachel.

"Yes," Nicole peeped.

"Yes, I have a . . . a . . . a fat ass," Nicole blurted as she unexpectedly climaxed in Rachel's lap, "and I'm a big tease who loves the boys to look at me - a sexy MILF. And I'm a very, very, naughty girl."

"And that needs to stop now doesn't it Nicole," Rachel went on, "answer me."

"It needs to stop," Nicole agreed in defeat, "I promise to be a good girl from now on."

"Good," said Mrs. Miras sternly as, slapping Nicole's incredibly fit, bare ass she rolled her onto the gym floor with her hands still tied behind her back, "now get out of here."

As Nicole tried to make a mad dash backstage, she unfortunately ran squarely into a completely naked and humiliated Will Parnell who, after having his ass beaten red by Jules was also endeavoring to escape. As the crowd heard the crack of their heads coming together, the last thing anyone saw was a knocked-out Will Parnell, nude, on his back and priapic with a micro erection with an equally unconscious Nicole Silver, head in his lap, and mouth agape in shock.

"I guess they are really made for one another," a guffawing Jules said to his new girlfriend Sharon as the two walked hand in hand from the stage.