All Comments on 'FocusTunes Ch. 05'

A fun and crazy chapter! I'm looking forward to more of this story. Thank you!

The protagonist needs to take a step back and think, or he'll make a mistake.

This time he stupidly rushed, just because he got angry.

He needs to think and plan better, he can't just grab girls randomly..

I thought it was a good chapter. I can certainly see how the hero would lose his cool like that. It's gotta be rough having all that power at his fingertips and then getting rejected, etc. Being a typical teen, I don't expect him to have a perfect grasp on things.

His being mad at his friend for doubting that he could hook up with a hottie... that was very realistically done. Though, I have to wonder about that relationship since guys who have hot friends like she is.... generally aren't hurting for an equally attractive girlfriend. They aren't social pariah, etc.

The last half of the chapter was great, imo, because we are starting to see how he's evolving. The internal conflict plus the relationships and commands given to his friend and the hottie... really beautiful.

How it evolves will be interesting to see.

I was afraid at first he would get cold feet but no, he got better. I loved how he just took Emily with the right command. As for him stupid with anger, it felt right. This is a power over people he never had and it's huge so how can he be always smart about it? As long as he became smarter the longer he uses the app it will fit with his brainiac personna.

Why, for example, does the app make them start wandering around? (My suspicion: The app is telling them to look for/go to a specific person)

Why does just him having his hand on them while they lesson arouse them? (Because the app is telling them they want to be controlled and used by men, probably)

Are there any effects the app is putting in that grow by exposure? (Bimbofication, greater obedience to any command a man gives them, etc..)

Lastly: Is there ANY WAY IN HELL the creatior doesn't know about this side-effect? (I suspect not.)

Why do these guys never think: d/l some audio analysis software that can break it apart into streams: Copy the music into it, and strip out the beats and anything that isn't words. Listn to those words (out of sync if you're still concerned, or better yet, through a voice-to-text app - you really should treat mind control apps as weapons - and ask yourself who deployed them and why. Speaking as someone who totally has a mind control kink, practisces sexual hypnosis, and is also a compulsive planner/plotter/schemer, I know it would be my first action after I saw it turn a girl into a brainwashed slut).

also trigger they never seem to think of: 'When you're in this state, only commands I give register. Only my will matters. Only my wrods can implant thoughts or beleifs or actions. I am the only one who can put you in this state.'

Because you know, sooner or later, some other guy is gonna notice and take advvantage!

But yeah. Good story! Keep up the good work!

Great story, I like how we see him slowly loosing control and feeling less guilty about using his new power. However, he should make a copy of the song so he can use it independently from the app and create some encrypted backups.

There've been a few inconsistencies that need to be addressed, but the overall story is doing great.

You're right that he should be treating the music like it's a loaded weapon. Why someone as smart as him isn't already doing that, recognizing the threat, can maybe be chalked up to hormones running rampant. After all, he's just been handed the keys to the golden city and that can screw with a guy's synaptic firings.

Would the creators know of how the music impacts people? Not necessarily.

The first problem that always comes to mind is --- why would any company/researcher who knew they developed something like this ever let it get out of their control? Barring an accidental release, why would they make it known that they released the technology that enslaved millions? Why would the creator let someone else use it, creating their own army of slaves who could then oppose him and his army?

If I could write the story, I'd certainly start making the Protagonist slow his roll and get his mind back in the game. Now that he has a sex slave to sate his baser desires, he needs to enslave at least another dozen people and establish a small group that serves his needs. This doesn't have to be sexual, obviously, since he's still a perfectly normal human male and can only do so much, but he should start to recognize the benefits of having wealthy, connected people tied to himself.

I'd start with his slave's parents. Being wealthy would make them excellent slaves and having them onboard would allow him more financial freedom as well as the opportunity to use his girl in naughty ways. He doesn't have to do anything dirty with the parents, something I think a lot of authors forget in their rush to write erotica.

"And on the body of the page: a download link for iOS..."

that, kiddies, is why friends dont let friends use android lol. Loving it so far. When you are a god, how can you be bound by the rules of mere mortals? As far as if the creator knows the effects, no one would have known had he not butt dialed her. Further, it may not even work on males who tested it.

I like how it going and all the possibilities where it can go from here. the way he is letting go of his moral high grounds, an outside company taking control, even enlisting him for tech/ field research even taking the app to college and expanding it's use. many wonderous way you can take this story but please continue writing it