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Click hereIt's just not fair and I don't know what to do. At least tell me this, should I just stop talking to him? hoping he'll forget me. Should I tell him? I know he'd stand by me, but is it fair to make him watch me die, just for a fleeting moment of happiness for me?
I know this new doctor said there's hope, but I don't want to raise my expectations for a treatment that only has a minimal chance of extending my life. I'll go to this doctor but please send me a sign, something that tells me that I'll make it through this and be able to be with Daniel on the other side. Otherwise I don't understand your wicked cruelty. What is the point of falling in love when it only serves to hurt us both.
Please God I beg of you, listen to me, I can't go through this, and I can't make Daniel go through this, if you're a just God please help me. I'm scared, and I don't know what to do.
Sophie's last diary entry was speckled with tears.
She died of a thromboembolism.
Section XIV
I can count on one hand the times I called her "Reindeer" but she was, is, and always will be my reindeer. Ten years have passed since my favorite Christmas, and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I kept my mom's old house, my old memories were not the greatest, but I managed to make some new ones in that house with Sophie. Two years ago, Abbie passed, and each Christmas Lionel and I keep each other company. He says it was her time, during her last few years she suffered from arthritic pains and her eye sight had deteriorated significantly due to her glaucoma. He says he looks forward to every Christmas because it helps him keep the memory of those he loves alive. He doesn't know this, but I still dread every Christmas. I have never been able to get over my aversion to Christmas, but I know I just need to let go and move on. Although that's easier said than done, each Christmas Eve I give in and take a swig from the bottle, I know Sophie wouldn't have approved, but I think she would have understood. Lionel doesn't know, he couldn't know, that after every Christmas Eve I go to my mom's old house and cry myself to sleep. I know I need to let her go, but it's hard, she was the love of my life no matter how brief our time together, and the thought of learning just one more small detail about her helps me feel closer to her and makes moving on all the harder. I guess the real reason why I dread Christmas is regret, my one regret is having never told her exactly what she meant to me. I told her she was my reindeer because of her red nose that day, but only later did I realize that she was my reindeer because she appeared in my life on a foggy Christmas Eve and lit the way for me like no one else could.
I know she would have wanted me to celebrate Christmas and be happy, especially with her family, and deep down I enjoy spending time with Lionel for the same reason he does, he and Abbie were the closest people to Sophie, and for one day a year I get to feel as if she is going to burst through the door at any moment.
MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS
- COMMENTS
stewartbabout 2 years agoWhat do I think of the story? "5" for the writing ... "4" for the story ... and "2" for the ending.
JJMemaw0623over 5 years agoSo very sad, but beautiful. Keep writing, as you have such a gift.
Grym32over 5 years agoAuthorFirst of all thank you everyone for all the comments, they're truly appreciated.
As you all pointed out the story was definitely rough. I don't get too much time to come on literotica and found out about the contest 5 days before it ended. I wrote it all as fast as I could to get it in on time, and unfortunately it shows. When I do something I try to go all in, so I tried to get creative with the story telling, but suffice to say it didn't go entirely as planned. I barely managed to submit it in time and was only able to do some proofreading. There's more I wish I could've written for it, but such is life. I'lll see if I can do something about a finished and polished edit at a later date, but I'm swamped at the moment and won't be able to do it until next month.
Again thank you for reassuring me it wasn't wholly terrible, and all I can say is hopefully next time will be better. Happy holidays
Polyacrylateover 5 years agoAfter your intermission, which got a laugh from me, I decided you were not finished with the sad. It was well executed.
As others have said, some polish is needed on this story, but it was a solid submission. The irregularly changing POV was disorienting at first, but you had a good reason to write it that way, and it worked well later in the story. A suggestion: your prose seems a bit clunky and events often happen in large blocks of text. Breaking some of this up into smaller sentences and paragraphs will make it seem more dynamic. Try reading it out loud to test the flow of it all (if you can).
Keep up the good work!
J_Reader_Comicsover 5 years agoSorry, I think you did a great job writing and sculpting this story. However, the ending sucks and ruined it. Three stars, would have been five.
