All Comments on 'Following the Feeling Ch. 05'

So far, this is the worst chapter in grammar. Use a different person to edit. It should not read as a middle school ESL student's paper because it is a free read.

Lol, love it.

Yes, there are a few small gramatical issues, but I honestly had to re-read to find out what the comment below was pointing out. The story had me whisked along with it easily enough that I missed them the first time around. The first few paragraphs need a little work..there is something just slightly...off...about them. Almost as if you are listing things rather than actually describing them. Do you stop writing after you have completed a chapter, post it, then maybe start the next chapter a day later? I used to do that and would have a terrible time finding that "flow" the next time I wrote until Daniellekitten told me to continue a little bit into the next chapter, then you have already established a start to it and it wont lose that "flow". Anyway, loved it and cant wait for more. x

Hey guys, it's me. Trust me, I know about the grammar and flow issues (note: Gareth suddenly disappears from the bar at the end...he's still there I just didn't acknowledge him at all, Amber looks up and doesn't look up in the very beginning). I don't have an editor, but I do usually proofread a couple times before posting. My only denfense is that a family emergency had me distracted and I used the writing to be doing anything else. In the rush I posted without rereading and a couple days later I realized what had happened. I debated pulling it out and resubmitting with corrections and am still willing to do so if my readers command. It's up to you, majority rules. (Although I'd prefer an email than an onslaught of "fix it!" comments)

Thanks and happy reading, CricketMuse

i love this story can't wait for more from you .. looking forward to it.

I have loved this story since the beginning. (end of chapter one had me laughing out loud) Can't wait for more. If you feel an edit is necessary do it later after the story is finished. Keep it going so Kira and Grayson can finally get some action.

Nothing is perfect it would be boring if it where. but it is a great read and just the right combo of action and comity that makes a great story. more can not come faster

Just loving it, even the process of wirting it that you're going through.

Thanks again for a great read

I really can't wait for more of this. I keep checking your profile for updates lol. I really enjoy the Grayson character and hope that these two get together soon!!!

Thanks so much for a great story ... please continue writing

tks

S

The Twins, Jasmine, and Amber

I think I missed a paragraph or something but I swear I read that Grayson killed the rouge werewolf. Then he appeared again? Since no one else has commented on this particular point I probably missed something crucial.

Just reread it and now get that Gareth was referring to the bear who was checking him out. Lololol. Then I remembered that when I first read this story that same part tricked me.

This story is so damn good; I have to go get more wine to go with the reading.............hot damn!!! Love a good tale!!!

I am really loving this story. Especailly this chapter...it's 3 o'clock in the morning but I don't care. I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!

Sex, it is still good!

I know right, its 2am, i have a test math on the morrow and am still here, pestering my roommate with my yells and enthusiasm. love ittt

!!!!