For Shame

Me - 5:51 AM: Good morning!

Susie - 5:52 AM: :* Good morning! FYI, my body hates me. Specifically my reproductive organs. Just a heads up.

Me - 5:54 AM: Coincidentally, the safe word is 'red.'

Susie - 5:54 AM: Also, I'd really love to spend some time with you in my mouth....

Susie - 5:55 AM: And now I'm really nervous.

I had warned her yesterday she would be getting what she deserved the following afternoon. She had through varied means been articulating her secret desires to me for weeks; not entirely cognizant of such. Generally, I categorize her fetish as a soft limit for myself, yet I knew it was time to explore by the absence of anxiety when contemplating it in our context.

Susie - 6:00 AM: I'm going to need to practice breathing if I'm going to make it through my hair appointment if you keep this up.

Me - 6:03 AM: You have no idea.

Susie - 6:03 AM: I feel like when a comic book character says *gulp*

Me - 6:06 AM: Might be advantageous to have a towel or two on the bed.

Me - 6:06 AM: But you already planned on that, didn't you?

I wasted little time injecting sinister insinuations into the conversation. I exercised great, even artistic care choosing structure and vocabulary. A scripted, paint-by-numbers scene would have been too robotic and out of place. Thus, the consideration flanking each sentence was requisite to paint boundaries for the exchange that would keep her responses few and predictable while still feeling like open-ended conversation.

Susie - 6:07 AM: I will make that happen.

Me - 6:13 AM: Good. That doesn't answer my question, though.

Susie - 6:17 AM: No, I hadn't planned on that.

Me - 6:18 AM: Really? I'm surprised, Susie.

Another insinuation surfaced mere moments after the first. Whether she had planned on the towels or not was inconsequential. The trap was set and I knew I could shame her either way.

Susie - 6:19 AM: Well I figured you'd want to reschedule. Or change your plans.

Me - 6:22 AM: Tisk tisk. Such quitter talk.

Susie - 6:24 AM: ...

Me - 6:26 AM: This scene started once I declared the safe word. Until you call red, you should expect me to hurt you. Ok?

Susie - 6:27 AM: I understand.

Me - 6:28 AM: Try that again.

Susie - 6:28 AM: Okay.

Me - 6:29 AM: Again!

Susie - 6:30 am: Yes, sir! I understand.

Me - 6:33 AM: Good girl. You might think of me solely with that pussy of yours, but you can at least respect me with your words.

Susie - 6:35 AM: Yes, sir. But I think of you with more than my pussy.

Me - 6:36 AM: We'll see about that.

Susie - 6:37 AM: Maybe not always... but sometimes. Maybe

Me - 6:38 AM: I thought so.

Susie - 6:40 AM: *blink*

Me - 6:45 AM: Don't forget to practice your breathing. :*

Susie - 6:47 AM: Breathing. Yes. I'm breathing.

Me - 6:50 AM: Just not too loudly. I'm sure your co-workers have already noticed you daydreaming.

Susie - 6:52 AM: Yeah. I just got told to go home.

Me - 6:53 AM: I see. I wouldn't want my employees cumming in my office chairs, either.

Susie - 6:54 AM: It's a dirty chair. You'd never know.

Me - 6:55 AM: Mmhm. Dirty girls get dirty chairs.

Our texts became infrequent as we busied ourselves. I arranged about an hour's visit that day starting at noon. I checked in with her again just before my departure to her apartment. She seemed sufficiently nervous. I never anticipated to feel what I was in that moment. Within me germinated the sadistic self-appreciation of being adept so far in this play style. I'm terrified my partners will internalize everything I say, which seats this play as a soft limit for me. In spite of that, I congratulated myself for causing her to feel so nervous. My computer's clock changed to 12:00 and I vacated my office rather swiftly.

Upon being welcomed into her apartment, I met her gaze just before being received with embraces and kisses. In that fraction of a second, her smile told me of her happiness to see me but was betrayed by frantic movements in her eyes. She searched each of my pupils for answers to questions she couldn't even form. That one micro-expression was all that was necessary to confirm my congratulations weren't premature. The poor girl was shaken.

We ascended the stairs to the bedroom. Hugging and re-familiarizing ourselves with the other's lips, I began asking if she wanted to take off my clothes. In response to each affirmative answer, I demand she removes an article of my clothing. Soon, she has stripped me naked in front of her. Continuing the deluge of kisses, I start asking if she wants to remove articles of her own clothing. I respond to each affirmative answer again with another command to remove them... at least until she was only in her panties.

"Do you want to take off your panties?"

"Yes, please" she pleaded.

"I bet you do. But no."

I made sure they were pulled up properly, then sat down on the foot of her bed. She tried to bend down and cocoon herself in my arms. She knew we were on the precipice of escalation. I held her standing at arm's length, my massive left palm against her collarbone and my fingers draped over her shoulder. As she pressed forward I quietly commanded she look me in the eyes. She did so only briefly before her eyes retreated from my sight.

*THWACK*

I grit my teeth together as my hips initiated the momentum that terminated as a slap to her blushing face. The grimace sprawled across her skin but only just a moment too late to have prepared her. The slap had wrenched her head to the side, but she quickly reoriented her focus to me as I spat out, "Fucking look at me!"

I watched her squirm in extreme discomfort. She would lift one leg then return it to lift the other, clenching her thighs together while doing so. She wrapped her tiny hand around my left wrist. Her other hand couldn't find a home while it repeatedly migrated from my right shoulder, to my left forearm, to her hair, down to her side and back. I keep my voice at a calm timbre.

"What do you think about me sitting here naked on your bed?"

In a faint voice, she replied "I like it..."

"What else are you thinking? What's going on inside that head of yours?"

"I w...want to k...kiss you..." Her breathing accelerated, but it wasn't breathlessness that hindered her speech. Her face was aflame with humility. I would find out later that more than anything in the world she wanted to escape that position. She wanted to break the eye contact and bury her face into my neck. She wanted to communicate only in kisses; anything but standing there in my judgmental vision while trying to vocalize her wantonness.

*THWACK*

"Speak up! I can't hear you." The slap motivates her to speak louder.

"I want to kiss you. I want to hold you."

"Is that all? I doubt it is. What else do you want to do?"

"I want you in my mouth. Please?"

"You want what? Say it like you mean it."

"Can I suck your cock? Please?" The last "please" was accompanied by a strong push forward against my arm. She was desperate to manifest her desire in such an inferno of shame.

"I truly like the twinge of fear in your voice. But I know better. You aren't afraid at all. You're trying to hide what you actually feel. Do you really think I believe a whore asks like that? A whore doesn't ask. A whore demands."

"I want to suck your cock."

*THWACK* "Louder."

"I want to suck your cock!"

I moved my hand from her collarbone to her neck and began to form a vice around her throat. "I thought so. You call me over, strip me down and just want to kiss me? Right." My grip on her neck intensified. "A lot of good that breathing practice did, huh? Breathing doesn't matter when you want me to choke you like that, does it?" My voice had become slightly louder and I started speaking through clenched teeth. I brought her face to mine; forehead to forehead. "Whores don't demand something and then just stand there. If you wanted to suck my cock so fucking bad, you'd drop to your knees and suck." She nodded and I relinquished my hold.

I could hear her gasp for air but before she could even inhale a full breath her knees had found the carpet and she took my cock into her mouth in the greediest fashion I could have imagined. She began sucking with unholy intent; a hell-bent obsession with satisfying herself on my taste alone. Each of my hands collected fistfuls of hair to serve as leverage for the ensuing face fuck.

"Holy fuck, Susie. You're such a good fucking whore. You know exactly how to suck that, don't you? God, I can't believe how desperate you are." A sneer twists over my lips. "Jesus, you need to suck cock just like you need air." She started to moan loudly as her nose ground into my pubic bone. I could see her body start to tremble. I observed, in disbelief, this woman actually reaching orgasm while orally pleasing me. Was that really happening?

"MMMMMMMMM"

"You love my cock in your mouth so much you're going to cum, aren't you? I don't even have to touch your pussy for you to start cumming. You're so slutty."

"MMMHMMMM!"

"You aren't going to stop there, either. You want to fuck me don't you? You don't care that you're on your period or anything. You want me that fucking badly don't you?"

She pulled her mouth off of my cock with a pop and quickly agreed. "Yes! Please! Fuck me, please!"

I bent down close to her face. "If you really want me to fuck you, you'd get up to put those towels in place and bend over, hm?"

She shot up from her place on the floor as I stood up. I maneuvered behind her as she spread out the towels. Without warning I jerked down her panties and forced her to bend forward over the foot of her bed. I wet one hand with an audible spit and while my left hand was on her back forcing her into the mattress, my now lubricated right found her clit.

"Ugh, look at how much you like this. You're fucking soaked." I rubbed her clit into the convulsions of another orgasm. She screamed into the mattress prompting me to grab her hair and force her face out from against the bed. "No! I want to hear how much you love this." I forced her into another orgasm immediately after. Once she recovered just enough to speak, she said she needed to go to the bathroom.

"What do you mean go to the bathroom?"

"I need to go to the bathroom before you fuck me."

Obviously, I knew what she meant. It was her time of the month. I couldn't have asked for better timing, actually. It only stoked the fires of shame I had been growing so far. Seeing my opportunity had arrived, I fanned the flames. "Why's that, huh? I bet I know. Let me see!" I spread the curvatures of her ass to make a point of being able to see her tampon string. "I fucking knew it. You didn't even bother to take that out, knowing you were going to try to fuck me."

*CRACK*

Her right ass cheek darkened to burgundy while my hand tingled from the impact. "You want me to fuck you? And you don't even bother to take that out?"

*CRACK*

Her left ass cheek darkened to match the right. "You probably should fucking thought of that before I got here!"

*CRACK, CRACK*

"You know what? No. You don't get to feel my cock in you. I'm going to press it against your leg so you know how close you were and how hard I am and I'm going to make you cum without getting fucked. That's what you get!"

The fourth and fifth orgasms were coaxed out with the same ease as the first wave of them were. I couldn't keep her at this intensity for much longer, so as any good top does I start directing the scene to closure. I could tell I could get away with one more before it would be too close to too much.

"Had enough? Hm? Oh my God! You can't get enough, can you?" I was yelling by now. My last question had fallen from my mouth with seething disdain.

"Noooooo"

"You get one more, but you had better say my fucking name when you do. I want you to hear yourself and just how whoreish you sound!"

Seconds later, I hear it. Half garbled with primal grunts, "RE... RE...REIGN! REEIIGGGNNNNNN!" She rode torrential waves of orgasm into the sobs of exhaustion. Mentally, physically, this woman had given me everything she could have that day.

"You're such a good girl. I'm so proud of you. You're so strong." I helped her onto the bed and followed suit. We cuddled tightly as I showered her with kisses. She was indeed strong, but not simply strong enough to ask me for shame; she was strong enough to accept love despite it.