All Comments on 'Forays into the Occult'

I really thought you had something here but you need to have someone read your work looking for errors which is basically the job of an editor and doing it yourself isn’t always the best choice. I would have thought that if she spent the time and energy to protect things with magic then she would have noticed small things like the light being on in her room and the book being out in the open. You seemed like you were more focused on getting to the sexual part and skipped the journey which was surprising considering how well you documented and described her mothers arrival and how she broke in so I was expecting more but you will undoubtedly grow as a writer over time as you learn. It was a good story but could have been so much more. I look forward to your future work as I am sure it will be incredible.

Hi Anonymous commenter! I can't reply straight to your comment sadly it seems but I appreciate your input!

If I'm being honest, thank you for your critique, but it wasn't overly meant to be a larger story with a a real arc and amount of elaboration - just a small oneshot I wrote on halloween night to get my rocks off, and that I thought I should share with the internet just because content covering these kinks is very rare. I wished to get to the sexual action sooner, because I personally read a decent amount of erotica and it can be very annoying to have to read through pages of plot. Editors and beta readers are nice but it's a bit silly to expect that from an very small time hobbyist writer, imho.

Anyways, thanks for reading! And yes, I do hope to write more in the future.