All Comments on 'Foreigner'

If you were hoping to make a positive impression with your first story you failed. Why is it so many first-time writers piss away the opportunity to introduce themselves in a good way with trash like this?

This is my first story I would greatly appreciate any feedback, thank you

As a story it is a nice start for a longer story series.

The style of writing is straight with understandable language. Couldn't find any mistakes in orthography.

Nice, i like it.

The interesting part are the last 3 paragraphs. I see a good base for a development of the story and having more following incidents. It would be nice to see: What could happen and write it down.

It's part of the entertaining You are telling us Your imagination and wishes. I can imaging something in my mind.

But let us know, what could have been.

Welcome to the site. I like the concept of your story, but maybe dig deeper into the woman's fantasy.

Happy to discuss story concepts.

A lovely little charge of a story, grounded in the reality of the train and her thoughts. I wonder about your preference for choosing to leave her fantasies as conjecture rather than seeing them play out in the prose as though real, even if just in her mind. I don’t ask that as a criticism at all — it’s just something that stuck out as a style point in a story I connected with. I hope you will write more and explore fantasies like these even deeper.