All Comments on 'Forever is a Strong Word'

Great story. Thank you.

Good story 5 stars there needs to be a second part or an epilogue

Just what does Paula's "wants to be included" Mean?

You desperately need an editor. Paula refers to Bart as Her. Tanny corrects Bryan that her daughters name is Mikaeka. I could go on, but my point is made.

The ex has grown up, and that is a good thing

(I'm posting this while I'm still reading, because I'll lose it if I wait. Probably I'll say more later.)

On page 3 (as I'm viewing it - YMMV):

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Tanny was nearly trembling as she waited for Bryan to arrive. The babysitter was already playing with Bart, who kept telling her Kayla was coming. . . .

. . . [skip two paragraphs]

That first small step was about to be taken as Bryan was at the front door.

"Hello, Bryan and Bart. Come on in."

"Hello, Tanny," Bart said as he moved past her and headed for Mikaela and the babysitter.

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Either I'm misunderstanding it, or the first bit should say something like, "The babysitter was already playing with Mikaela, who kept telling her Bart was coming."

Sigh. And then just a bit later, "Wow, that gives some opinions, doesn't it?". Surely "options"?

Sigh. And then just a bit later, "Wow, that gives some opinions, doesn't it?". Surely "options"?

Did love it but would have liked a little bit more of the engaing of the ex.

What a beautifully paced story! Forever already on the second date but in your telling of the tale it didn't seem rushed or forced. Extremely well done. 5 stars. BTW it was refreshing that Paula seems to have lost her broomstick! That's a bit unusual for Lit. ex's.

Loved it. Thank you.

I like the story, flowed pretty nicely. You need to keep better track of the characters though. There were supposed to be 2 boys and 2 girls in the daycare. Yet later, both of the other two had girl's names.

At one point, you had Bart with Tanny waiting for Mikaela to arrive.

Not sure where you were going with Cindy and Angel. Almost seemed like they were going to make a play for Bryan, but nothing came of it.

Another great story! Thank you.

Sounds like a follow up on Paula may be needed!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great story and characters!

5

To many errors with people's names. I gave up half way through..

Flawless with strong back stories and intriguing future possibilities. A true and realistic romance. Thank you. More, please.

Nice story, 5 stars. But Paula's change needs more explanation, just why has she changed so much, and seems happy for them to be together? Has she met somebody else? a woman? That might explain it.

Sweet enough. As others have pointed out, it needed some editing help....

Really enjoyed this, what a great story. The characters were really engaging. Well done!

Not bad, but I think it is a little bland. Girl meets boy, boy is nice. Too many subplots that are hinted at, but aren't followed. It lacks any kind of conflict, however mild.

For instance, Paula's actions are not explained. There should have been a big meeting with either Bryan or Tanny, e.g. pushing Tanny to Bryan. The other mothers in the park show some promise, but are finally also irrelevant. Tanny's sister is reticent to meet Bryan but later hugs him like there is no tomorrow.

Also there is some mix up with the names of the kids and the parents.

The style is good, but the content needs more work.

Since this is an exercise in Fantasyland, the author can be forgiven for a silly plot which has a several highly unlikely aspects to the development of a relationship which on the surface has a very pleasing outcome, but is completely unrealistic. As the story progressed I found myself rooting for Paula, not Tanny. A real novel story would have had Bryan accepting the change in his ex and pulling the family back together. Tanny would appreciate the caring she had for Bryan was the symptom of her recovery from her loss of her husband and allow her to look forward to rejoining the world of the unmarried and growing into a new relationship. Still worth a 4* rating.

Have only read the first 2 pages so far but already I can tell that you need an editor. Early i the story you referred to Bart as a "he" and a "she". Darla is supposed to have 2 boys and 2 girls in the daycare but there's actually 3 girls and a boy. Not to mention the spelling and grammar errors.

If this had been edited it would be a 5* story. But as is, it's reading like a 3* story.

I liked the story, and thank you for it. I noted some things that could use some editing. For examples:

. "both of whom we're doing well" - were

. Tanny introduced herself to Paula as Mikaela

. "their physics were very similar" - physiques

. Bryan/Brian

. Tanny's babysitter was playing with Bart and waiting for Kayla to arrive - Kayla is Tanny's daughter

. "Tanny suspected that it was Brenda who didn't want to go through it again, but she appreciated her friend's concern" - Brenda is her sister

Would’ve liked more insight into Paula’s change, but otherwise a fun read. 5*

Old romantic here, loved it.

Same as Des, why the change in Paula?

Great story. Please consider the use of an editor or proofreader.

I rated a 5 because 50 isn't an option

Good story 5* BUT ended too abruptly!!

Brenda is toxic, especially when berating Bryan the first time

There needs to be a Pt 2 tie it all up in a bow. Good story but ends too soon.