Forgive and Forget?

Margaret sighed and nodded, "Yes, she has been with us ever since you left. She quit her job at McMillan & Henderson the day you walked out and gave up the house to move back in with us."

"I... I never knew. I thought she would be with him."

"She didn't go out of the house for three months and cried herself to sleep every night." She continued quietly, "For the last six months she's been working in a coffee shop but that's about all she does."

"Is she... is she seeing anyone?" He had to ask the question despite not wanting to, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"Look Rob I don't agree with what she did to you. I only came only tell you what I know and ask you to help. You really need to talk to her to get the answers you want."

He groaned inwardly, as much as he wanted to say no he knew he had to talk to Stephanie, to try to get some closure for himself as much as for her.

"When?" Resigned to what he was going to have to do Rob answered succinctly.

"Tomorrow morning would be good if you can make it. I think she's working the early shift at the café so she should be home by eleven."

Rob took a moment, lifting his glass up to his lips while he considered what he was agreeing to.

"Ok I'll be there." He told her reluctantly after a pause.

"Thank you." For the first time that evening Margaret Franscombe's smile was one of genuine happiness.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She got up off her stool and kissed him on the cheek before she left.

After she had gone he sat and finished his pint, ordering another, as he reflected on what he had just committed himself to.

___________________

Rob hadn't slept well and was up early the next morning, the thought of seeing his ex-wife for the first time in more than eighteen months playing heavily on his mind.

Sitting with his first coffee of the day he tried to ignore the thumping in his head. He had stayed in the pub for a lot longer than he had intended after Margaret had gone and had had a few to many drinks as he tried to reconcile himself with his promise to her.

Now he was regretting agreeing to talk to Steph and he sat and wondered just how he was going to feel. He had survived the last year and a half by keeping his feelings for her suppressed but he wasn't certain that he could continue to do that when he came face to face with her.

Looking at his watch he saw the time and swallowing the last of his coffee he unenthusiastically headed to the bathroom to start getting ready.

It was a few minutes to eleven when Rod eventually stood outside the Franscombe house, pausing to take a breath and compose himself before ringing the bell.

"Rob. Hi, come on in." Seconds later his former mother-in-law flung the front door open and greeted him with a smile, "Steph isn't here at the moment, she phoned to say she was staying on to cover for a while as someone was running late."

"Oh right, It's not a problem, I can come back later."

"Nonsense, you're here now let me make you a coffee. She won't be long, I'm sure." Brushing aside his argument she ushered him to the sofa and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Does Stephanie know that I'm coming?" He asked when she returned with two cups.

"No." Margaret laughed, "She'd have a fit if she knew I'd been to see you."

Rob joined in with her, "I can imagine."

They sat chatting for another half-an-hour, Margaret talking about Steph as Rob fidgeted nervously, before they heard the front door open.

"Hi mum."

His heart almost stopped at the sound of the familiar voice that called from the hallway.

"Sorry I'm la...." Stephanie stopped and stood open mouthed in the doorway.

Staring wide-eyed at the sight of her former husband sitting on her mother's sofa, she lost the power of speech for a moment.

"Hi." Rob smiled and stood up his stomach doing a somersault while his pulse rate shot up by several beats per minute.

"R... Rob... wha... what are you doing here?"

Her hand went to her throat when she finally managed to whisper, glancing between him and her mother as she sought an answer to her question.

"Robert came to see you." Margaret answered while he simply gazed at her.

She was thinner than he remembered, her face drawn, while her skin had taken on a much paler colour. But even with the bare minimum of make-up on and her hair pulled back into a pony tail she still took his breath away as she looked at him and stammered.

"I err I... I don't understand... what... what's going on?"

Margaret Franscombe stood up, "I asked Robert to come and talk to you, to help try and sort out the mess you're in."

"But.... why... we're divorced... what for..." She began to protest haltingly.

"Sit down and I'll make you both a coffee." Her mother walked off into the kitchen leaving Stephanie staring blankly at her ex-husband.

"Hello Steph. It's been a long time. How are you?" Rob finally spoke.

She shrugged, clearly still shocked to see him there.

"As ok as I can be I guess. How about you? I hear your business has really taken off."

"I'm pretty good thanks." He grinned rather self-consciously, "And yeah I suppose it has."

"I'm glad, you deserve it." Stephanie bit her bottom lip and gazed at him as if he was going to vanish any moment.

"You're working in a coffee shop?" Struggling to keep the conversation going he resorted to the mundane.

"Yeah, it keeps me busy."

"Do you enjoy it? It's a bit different for you."

"It's ok, I like dealing with the customers and there's no pressure."

Rob nodded unsure what else he could say.

"Are you seeing anyone?" She suddenly blurted out, terrified he was going to tell her he was.

"I was... but it... well it wasn't going anywhere so we broke up. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Steph told him and shook her head, "No, I haven't been on a date since we split up, there's no one."

"What happened to Clayton? Didn't he want you once you were available as a single woman?" Rob couldn't stop himself from bringing up the subject of her former boss.

Her expression quickly changed to one of anger and she glared balefully at him.

"Oh, he wanted me. He even offered to leave his wife for me but the problem was I didn't want him. I never really did."

"It didn't seem like it at the time." Rob stated bitterly.

"Ok, I made a big mistake alright. But I quit my job when I knew you weren't coming back and I never saw him again after that even though he kept trying to contact me."

"Sorry I shouldn't have brought up the past. It's over and done with."

"Is it?" She said desolately, her irritation fading as quickly as it had appeared, "Because I have to live with it every day."

Just then Margaret bought in two cups of coffee bringing their conversation to a halt for the moment. Placing them on the small table she looked between the pair of them and retreated to the kitchen without saying a word.

"Why did you do it Steph?" Rob finally broke the silence that had settled over them, "Did you love him? Was that it? Wasn't I enough for you?"

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... It's all my fault..." Stephanie broke down and started to sob despondently, "If I could go back and change things I would."

In that moment all the anger and resentment he had been carrying since their break-up simply evaporated and all he was left with was a deep sadness for what they had both lost.

"I'm sorry to." He whispered as he gathered her in his arms letting her tears soak into his shirt.

Eventually her sobbing slowed to a sniffle and, wiping her eyes, she sat up and looked at him.

"I never loved him." Steph whispered solemnly, "It was only ever you, you're the only man I ever loved."

"So, why? What did you do it for?"

"The job was to much for me." She snuffled, "Clayton told me I was going to fail my probation and he was going to get rid of me if I didn't sleep with him."

"That's no reason. You could have simply walked away."

"But you'd just started out on your own and I'd taken that job to keep us afloat." Her voice trembled, "I knew how much you were putting into the business and I... I thought it would just be... be the once."

"But he wanted more?"

She nodded, "Yes and I... I liked it. I liked how he made me feel when he... he fucked me, how he made me cum... so I... I..."

"So, he was better than me. Or was he bigger perhaps? Was that it?"

"No, no never. You've always satisfied me... it was just... exciting, the danger, the...."

"The what... the fact you were cheating on your wedding vows?"

Her body shook with another bout of sobbing, her shoulders heaving as she struggled to stop.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... please Rob... I'm so sorry for everything... I... I love you."

Stunned at her last three words he took her in his arms again, holding her against him, until she was able to compose herself and had stopped crying.

'Could he forgive and forget?'

Those three words raised one very important question for him. The whore in the hotel had told him all those months ago that he wouldn't be able to move on with his life until he did.

Then later, Amber had told him she knew that he still loved her and, even more recently, he hadn't been able to commit to Chris because of his feelings for his former wife, but could he really try again.

Wiping her wet cheeks Steph looked at him, "I'm really sorry Rob, I really am. I... I have no excuses and I would do absolutely anything to go back to how we were."

For a long moment he gazed into her eyes, remembering how they met and all the good times they had had.

Then, as his emotions started to swamp him he suddenly panicked. His heart started to race and he struggled to breathe.

"I... I need to go... I'll umm.... I'll see you around Steph." Getting up he started for the door.

"Do you have to?" She followed him, her eyes pleading, "You can stay for lunch if you want."

"Err... yeah, I... I would but... I... I have some stuff to do and I...."

"It's ok," Steph told him unhappily, "I understand. Maybe you could come round to the coffee shop sometime."

"Yeah... sure, I'll do that... sometime."

Rob almost ran out of the house, his heart continuing to pound frantically while his stomach tightened into a hard lump. His relief at being outside and away from her palpable as he tried to collect his thoughts.

The rest of his weekend was spent in a state of utter turmoil while he struggled with his emotions. He had deep feelings for Stephanie, that much was crystal clear to him, but he had no idea what he was going to do about them.

Could he forgive her and forget what had happened?

If, and it was a big IF, could he ever trust her again?

The same two questions were stuck in his mind and no matter which way he considered them he struggled to come to an answer. Part of him was telling him that he should try to forget her and move on while another part kept reminding him how much he still loved her.

He was still pondering what he should do when he went in to work on the Monday morning.

"Good weekend?" Amber asked as he came in through the door.

"Not especially. I went to see Stephanie."

"Oh, and?" Her broad smile was even more probing than her question.

"And now I'm in even more of a mess than I was." He grinned sheepishly back at her.

"Why? What happened?"

Rob shrugged, "I'm not sure. Apparently she's been a total mess since we split up, at least according to her mother, and then she told me she still loved me."

"That's great, isn't it?" Amber looked at him questioningly, "She loves you and you love her."

"I don't know." He answered miserably, "I'm torn over what I should do."

"Follow your heart. That's the only advice I can give you."

With a resigned sigh he went into his office.

For the next few days Rob wrestled with the predicament he found himself in. Should he contact Steph again or just stay away. Either way he felt he might be setting himself up for even more heartbreak at some point in the future.

Eventually it was Amber who made up his mind for him

"Have you been to see her again?" She asked when he came into the office on the Thursday morning.

Rob shook his head, "Nope, I still don't know what I should do."

"Follow your heart. I told you. If you love her, and I think you do, then give yourself a chance."

"Ok I love her, but what if it all goes wrong?" He still procrastinated.

"Life's full of what ifs. What if it goes right though Rob?"

For a long moment he stared at his admin manager, "You think I should then?"

Amber smiled at him, "Yes! Now go and tell her what you've just told me."

It was an hour later that he found himself standing outside of the small coffee shop where his ex-wife worked. Trying to calm his racing heart, he hesitated for a moment before going in.

Finally, making his mind up and taking deep breath he pushed open the door.

Stepping inside he glanced around the warm, pleasant interior. With wood panelled walls, a hardwood floor and a smattering of armchairs and sofas to relax in the café reflected a discrete comfort rather than the bustle of a corporate chain.

He immediately spotted Stephanie at the counter, leaning on her elbows and smiling warmly at the man in front of her. It was clear she knew him by the way she held his hand and they chatted amiably. Then, as if that wasn't enough, she leant forward and hugged him before kissing him on the cheek.

The dagger that pierced Rob's innards could hardly have hurt more if it had been a real blade.

For a few seconds he simply stood and stared at the two of them before Stephanie released her hold on the man and looked up, her eyes meeting his. Seeing her gazing back at him broke the spell he had been under and without a word he turned and left, pulling the door closed as he left.

He hadn't gone more than a dozen yards along the street when he heard her voice calling out from behind him.

"Rob! Stop! Please wait.... please."

Pausing until she caught up with him he tried to keep his feelings under control.

"Hello Steph." He said acerbically.

"You... you came." She moved to stand in front of him, "I'd given up hope you would."

"Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn't."

"Why? Why did you leave so soon?" Biting her lower lip, she gazed up at him hesitantly.

"You seemed rather busy and I didn't want to... to interrupt."

"What... you mean Henry? He's Tanya's husband, he'd just come in to tell me she'd had their baby last night."

"I thought you and he...." Rob stopped mid-sentence realising he had just admitted to her what he felt.

"Oh my God, you're jealous. You thought I had a boyfriend and you were jealous." Her face broke into a broad smile.

There was nothing he could say so he simply grinned, "I guess I was."

Steph took his arm and started to lead him back towards the café.

"Come back inside, I'm due a break. Stay and have a coffee with me, please."

He didn't offer any resistance, he couldn't, and he simply allowed her to guide him back into the warmth.

Five minutes later she deposited a latte and a cappuccino on the table and sat down opposite him.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to come back." She said picking up her mug and looking into his eyes.

Rob did likewise, "I have to admit I thought about it for a long time."

"So, why did you?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure but after what you said to me at the weekend I decided I have to give us a chance."

Her eyes misted over at his words and she reached out and took hold of his hand, "Really? You're not just saying it?"

He shook his head, "I still love you Steph. I just need to find out if I can forgive and forget."

"I'm so sorry for everything. I'll do anything you want, sign anything. I just want us back together." Her voice was barely more than a whisper as a tear trickled down her cheek, "If you can forgive me over time I promise I'll help you forget."

"I just need some time. If we can go slowly then maybe..."

"We can go as slow as you want. I love you Rob, I never stopped and I... I want you back." Stephanie squeezed his hand.

"And Clayton and your old job?"

Letting go of him she sat upright, "I don't want that life again. I'm happy here doing this and maybe... just maybe, being with you."

Rob smiled and finished his coffee, "I need to get back to work but would you have dinner with me Saturday night?"

Stephanie's eyes widened, "Yes, yes... If you're sure, I'd love to."

"OK, I'll pick you up at seven." He stood up to go.

"I'll be ready and waiting." Getting up she smiled a little shyly and showed him to the door, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek before he left.

Waiting for Saturday to come around Rob was on tenterhooks unable to settle to anything or even focus on work. He contemplated what he was doing and frequently changed his mind; one minute he was going and then ten minutes later he wasn't.

In a positive moment, knowing his ex-wife's preferences for food he booked a romantic little Italian restaurant and then spent an age on Saturday afternoon getting ready.

It was a few minutes before seven when he stood outside the Franscombe house, still unsure about what he was doing and feeling like a naïve schoolboy picking up his prom date.

Stephanie opened the front door, with a huge smile on her face, seconds after he knocked, "You're early."

Taken by surprise he simply stood and gaped at her.

Her hair had been pinned up in a bun with several long tendrils hanging down around her neck while her make-up emphasised her big ice-blue eyes.

The tight red dress she was wearing clung to her figure, coming down to just a couple of inches above her knee while the V shaped neckline dipped between her breasts to show just a little more cleavage than was properly decent.

"Wow, you look stunning." He finally managed to speak.

"Thank you." Steph giggled girlishly, "Shall we go, I'm all ready."

"Sure." Offering her his arm he guided her to his car.

"Where are we going?"

Rob grinned and opened the door for her, "It's a surprise."

Arriving at the restaurant they were shown to a table toward the back and, after ordering drinks, started to peruse the menu.

"You do still like Italian, don't you?" He had a sudden moment of panic.

"Mmhhmm... still my favourite."

The meal was delicious, the wine practically perfect and after dessert they sat back with coffee.

"Thank you. That was lovely." Stephanie smiled coyly at him, "I never thought we would ever sit down to dinner together again."

"Me neither." Rob tried to control the rising tide of emotions inside him.

For a minute they sat quietly both of them reflecting on the situation they found themselves in.

Eventually he interrupted the silence, "I suppose I should take you home."

"You don't have to... I mean mum and dad aren't.... aren't necessarily expecting me home tonight." Steph murmured softly her cheeks colouring as she spoke.

Rob stared at her, his pulse rate jumping in a second at what she was suggesting.

"I'm sorry... I know you want to go slowly... I shouldn't have...." She continued, her expression changing to one of alarm.

"What no, it's ok... I was just... you know, taken by surprise."

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have suggested..."

"Do you want to come back to mine?" He cut her off mid-sentence.

"Do you want me to?" Steph answered his question with one of her own.

"Yeah I think I do. I've missed you for too long and I want you back in my life."

"Get the check." She reached across the table and took hold of his hand, her voice soft but firm, "I want you."

Half-an-hour later Rob opened the door to his bachelor apartment and ushered his ex-wife inside. Standing in the living-cum-kitchen area she looked around at the rather spartan interior.

"It's nice..." She started to say before her words were interrupted when he pulled her into his arms, his mouth descending on hers as he kissed her.