Four Times

I sensed my tunnel vision coming on. It was only the second time, since I was a kid. The other had been that talk with my wife. I'd made a mistake by looking at the river so long, and not my points of reference, like the road. Vertigo was setting in. As my vision narrowed, everything in front of me began to blur. Shit, I'd left my meds in my toiletry bag, in my suitcase. This wasn't good. Then it happened. Everything went completely blurry, and I tried anything I could to make it stop. It never dawned on me to press the brake. My hair felt like it was standing straight up, and I had a floating feeling in my stomach, like you get on the first hill of a roller coaster.

"My name is Dean. Dean Browning, and my wife is Ashley," I began repeating, and I'm not sure why.

Suddenly, there was a blinding light directly in front of me and through the light came...

"Emily?" I think I said out loud.

She was there. Her face looked radiant as she smiled her best smile. She reached out to me, both hands upturned and arms fully extended. I let go of the wheel without hesitation. I could sense what she wanted. I felt her pull me towards her with a strength I couldn't imagine. Still, as quickly as my torso moved, my bottom half seemed to be stuck. Finally, like a rubber-band, I popped through. Through what, though? It was just blinding light.

The next thing I saw was serene. I was standing next to Emily, her hand holding mine tightly. We were on a flat surface, at the edge of a cliff. The clouds were below us, by quite a ways, and the sun was setting into them. I watched the awesome beauty for a moment.

Em squeezed my hand and I looked at her. She nodded slightly for me to look over the edge. Carefully, I shimmied up to it, and looked over. Emily squeezed again. Oh! There, just below us, was my living room. It felt like my vantage point was on my own ceiling. Ashley sat on the sofa, sobbing so hard that it racked her body continuously. Steve held her tightly to his chest. On the coffee table was the torn promise, all carefully taped back together. I wondered what had happened. I hadn't seen them in such anguish since Em...

... squeezed my hand again. "Yes," she said, though her lips never moved. I understood instantly. As I watched in wonderment, it felt as though I could sense something else - something untoward and foreign to me.

"Yes, Dean. You can feel and sense their thoughts when they are thinking of you." She squeezed again. Her mouth remained closed, so she was talking to me in my thoughts.

I sensed that the couple had not engaged in any sex on their weekend together, due to Ashley's guilt. My next thought - completely devoid of malice - was wondering if they'd ever be able to 'get over me' enough to do so in the future, or remain friends, let alone lovers.

Steve felt... a deep remorse. I tried to hone in... remorse for his... selfish and self-centered actions. And there was something else. I squinted. He felt hope. Hope? I squinted again. Yes, it was hope. He was hopeful that he'd be consoling Ashley the rest of her days, and that eventually, she'd come to love him.

Ashley's gut-wrenching cries made me focus on her. Her sadness was a dark, bottomless ocean. Her guilt was deeper and darker still. She felt... completely responsible. The guilt was consuming her from the inside out. She was carrying the entire burden for her loss. My heart went out to her, and oddly, I thought I should be crying for her.

Squeeze. "Negative feelings and emotions don't exist in this realm," her voice rang in my head, "only where they are. It will be up to them to figure things out."

I watched, my eyes glued to the scene. I wanted to reach out.

Squeeze. "You can help her. We both can, once you get used to this realm. It's best in their sleep."

"How long...?" I asked, and my mouth didn't move either. Her answer came instantly - almost faster than that.

"Time, as you knew it, doesn't exist here. I can't answer that in a way you'll understand. Not long."

Emily squeezed again, and we turned away from the cliff's edge. There, in the light, were my parents - my mother, with the same radiant smile as Emily, and - my father with that look he always gave when he was proudest of me.

We walked together, into the light, the four of us. I no longer felt alone.