All Comments on 'Frat Party with Daughter - Revealed'

So this is my sequel without an ending.

And that is why the score will tank - you did the one thing EVERYONE despises

Why even bother writing this?

I appreciate the idea if the sequel but at least provide a real ending.

It is really good, as it is I don't see a reconciliation happening but I do want to see an ending on what will happen about the father-daughter relationship.the wife is a lost cause

Amazing first story unlike the others writing with covid in their brain

that's it?

Hopefully it won't be another miserable RAACuck-style story

It did have issues. But I took into consideration it was your first time, and the fact that you couldnt get an editor response. If the Terrible commentor had read your intro, they would know that. You really should keep trying for one though.

BTB or RAAC, always the question. I tend to lean towards BTB, even though in my own life I went RAAC. Of course the fact I cheated first, multiple times,.made me painfully aware it's not much fun when the roles are reversed. Worked it out, and been faithful to each other over 20 years now.

In stories I do kinda like BTB more, but how about both? Daughter tries to apologize and smooth things over, he ends up bedding daughter, says he wont stop, but if wife can accept that but give up her own trysts, she can return and they all reconcile. We men, (most), do like our harems.

Anyway, not bad despite your being handcuffed a bit. Keep searching for an editor, but keep up with the story also. It's worthy of a four, but I gave a five to offset your illiterate trolls.

LMFAO!!! You got to be shittng me. BTB and the daughter and move on with your life.

Please use an editor.

And

Carry out the story to a complete conclusion.

The serving of divorce documents was just sentences away.

BTW RAAC?..... Not A Chance for eitner slut

Gratuliere zur ersten Geschichte. Ich hoffe, wir sehen mehr von dir, zum Beispiel die Fortsetzung von dieser.

This was a chopping blow by blow account of how a wife has multiple lovers and does group sex and does it in the home and when at her daughters college. The daughter is not only aware but encourages the mother (wife) to cheat.

You can't be serious in thinking they can reconcile.

Nice try with the language. It was better than most who are not familiar with English.

Ok sequel. Good to stick up for poor husband but why not write a complete story with an ending. This is ripe for a sequel.

It's been a challenge finding anything worth reading this morning, this by far is the worst. Please stop, this is not your foray. Find another way to fill your covid time.

Litta skinny yo story but good fo Two SPLIFFS, mon

Keep try‘ng, mon

A good one for Btb sequel. Realize English is second language. Finish it

Another chapter please and please make it a BTB, the lying cheating slut deserves nothing better. The daughter too betrayed her father, she also needs to pay.

And, yes both the arrogant self entitled mother and daughter need to be forced to get jobs to pay their own way from now.

The reality is divorce, what self respecting wouldn’t ditch the stupid wife and daughter.

Such pain because of selfish stupidity.

Scores 5/5 for a great first attempt. Cheers.

Ok....

I guess in your mind this is a sequel.

It is more of brief notes one might jot down with even ceering upbout speeling er usige.

But it is not a sequel.

You need to continue this story. Mom and daughter need to reconnect with him. He can accept his being a cuckold and allow them to continue fucking their lovers--he can be invited to take part

Father offers to pay tuition if daughter identifies the guys who fucked the mother so that he could 'fuck them up'.

I gave this a 3 because you write well and I encourage you to write. There is a lot packed into this one page, you need to outline and break this down. I don't care if you finish this but please write a complete story.

The only way a reconciliation works at this point is if the husband gets huge revenge on all of the sex partners and has revenge sex that the wife knows about. It will be a wild story, but she went off the deep end and only much suffering on her part would make sense.

If you had no intention of finishing it, you should never had started it.

<p>

BTW, when the character speaking changes, start a new paragraph.

Unless he's one of the wimpy member of the 3W's club (widdle wee wee) his wifes ass hitting the curb should set off earthquake alarms at the USGA.

As for the sleazy useless offspring, he should shove her back from where she came. That'll make the 2 whores so much closer.

Strike 1 - wrote a sequel to a 20 yr old story

Strike 2 - wrote something with no ending

Foul Tip - one page long

Strike 3 - put strikes 1 & 2 in your opening note

So thanks for that. Seriously. Saved me from wasting my time.

I didn’t bother reading so didn’t score.

The mother and daughter can turn the tables on him and somehow (that’s up to you) find out that the father has been playing around also. I know it’s far-fetched, but this IS fiction, after all. Good luck!

I do hope you do a sequel. Your chapter was far better than the first two as was the spelling.

Barely enough to be considered an opening paragraph.

1 star

Taking another author’s story and characters is a huge slap in the face to them. You have no right to change what they determined to be the focus of their story, or how it ended. Just because a story didn’t happen to go the way you would have liked doesn’t give you the right to bastardize it for your own pleasure. I’m disappointed that there are people on here that would do this. Shame on you. This is pathetic.

I think you should read the original authors story "My Daughter Got My Wife Started Ch. 1", it kinds of throws your story out and makes it look like you wanted to add your mortality to the original authors story.

not unless the husband is a mentally dysfunctional snowflake who will somehow think his wife has the right to be a whore, or he has the obligation to allow her to be a whore?

What's odd is that we really have no understanding what motivated the wife to so readily and casually betray her marriage. It reads like she was always a shallow selfish immoral person, and her raising a daughter with a similar lack of ethics and regard for other people is consistent.

Hope the husband has the self respect and intelligence to correct the shitty marriage he got himself into.

Thanks for the effort

Really? After the crap she’s thrown at him? And his response? You think RAAC is possible?

If he had talked first, then maybe??? But he’s already taken a harsh response. He is PISSED. I see no reconciliation possible; not with the his actions he’s already taken. Basically, he is gone. He just hasn’t moved out if the house yet.

And honestly, I hate that. No one is completely good or evil and no one is going to see their spouse having an affair and remain stoic. Come on, give us a fucking break.

Thanks for your comments. I will write a second chapter and according to your comments and my first impulse it will finish as BTB.

As you asked for an editor: I will be glad if I find one, but I contacted several editors via the editor page in the last 2 months but I didn't get even one response. I'll continue to ask and I hope one of them answers and supports me.

I don't think being obedient will unscrew the pooch now. You had a good idea, but definitely need some help expressing it. Has there ever been any one as dumb as Dunkirk commenting on LW?

I came to this story because Infosauger contacted me to ask if I would edit the follow-up to this story.

I was pretty clear about my feelings on writing a sequel to someone else's published works without getting permission, and his argument was that he tried to get it, and since there was no response, he considered that permission.

It's not. It's using someone else's intellectual property without permission.

I refused to have anything to do with him.

Meh on the sequel - I hope we ind out how he got the video? Contrary to Cagey, I don't have a problem on this site you make every effort to get permission but the author has left the site years ago and doesn't reply. Then, you properly cite his previous work with an actual link, that works for me. Just my 2 cents...

Martian Slut Ray. A loyal loving faithful wife for years, goes to a frat party and, Shazaam, becomes a slut? Just too contrived and ridiculous. Just because it is fiction doesn't mean it doesn't have to make sense. The entire plot, from the beginning, is ridiculous.

But thanks for the effort.

I agree with 384 bc no reply after looking hiatus from here and made the effort .. not stealing . As for tbe non ending either author wanted others to put their own conclusion on it or just hit the wall . Personally I wouldn't speak with either of them.. MSR needs a fatalities setting 😂😂😂

Dude, there's no way RAAC, the situation too dire to be saved and either leave or BTB

What story? There is no ending or resolution of any kind!

Lol, could there be reconciliation? Are you for real? This is perfect for BTB because there is no way the slut deserves to be taken back. While you are at, include the daughter in the burning.

Stupid pablum.

Bill

this story should be in NON-EROTIC. there is no sex, there is no eroticism, only shame and guilt here for a sexually adventurous women. the father sounds jealous about his adult daughter's sex life not including him.

She is a whore, like her daughter. She got hers from those young guys and looks like she's going to get hers from her husband. Maybe her lover will help her out. Hope she gets ruined and turns tricks to eat, living on the street...

Sounds like the whore needs Omegaman56's UNFUCK machine...

Both incredibly annoying and severely distracts from every story: do not have multiple people talking in the same paragraph.

Otherwise, it is a meh story.

Hell no to reconciliation. As the wife thinks she may have a chance to save things, maybe have mom be knocked up, making it really painful when he kicks her out and divorces her.

I expected the dialogue to turn into, "Your base are all belong to us!" Find a native English speaker to read and edit your work. I speak, read and write very decent Russian, but before I published something (back before that nation turned into a dumpster fire), I always had a native speaker review it and edit for clarity and readability. I suspect my work sounded to the Russian ear a bit like this one sounds to English speakers.