All Comments on 'Fraternity Friendship Party'

At that rate she would be totally worn out by age 21 and fit for whorehouse work. She needs a business degree.

it was a turn on for me, reminded me of some wild things in my past , sure was fun to be young and wild

For once, I wish I could give negative points instead of zero.

The whole thing was a little two mechanical for me. Way too many "And then..." type transitions, not enough getting into the characters heads or describing the action. My best advice is to look on the Lit editor site. There are a lot of people there who will help get past the early hurdles of writing. Of course, if you just like putting your own fantasies on paper, er, screens, then that's fine too.

Short and weak. Ditto on the negative points comment.