Friends - Alternate Reality Ch. 07

Things were busy at work for both Rachel and Ross, so they did not meet Wednesday or Thursday. They planned to spend the entire weekend together, based out of Ross's apartment. Friday was a normal get-together at Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler were there, and things felt pretty normal.

There was no awkwardness until Rachel and Ross said their goodbyes at about eight o'clock and left for Ross's. Ross pulled Rachel's little rolling suitcase. Phoebe left soon after. The atmosphere changed with only Joey, Chandler and Monica there. This combination of friends had scarcely been alone together before, and there was a lot of sexual tension in the air. The sexual tension came from Joey and Chandler only.

Monica was a beautiful woman, and available. Like all straight men, both Joey and Chandler had Monica rated, ranked and prioritized for a wide variety of fantasies; desert island, repopulating the earth, sex slave, girlfriend, and many others. Monica took this as a given, but it was not uncomfortable when others, such as Ross or Rachel, were present. Now that it was the two guys and Monica, the tension was thick. Monica sought to defuse the situation by saying, "Let's watch a movie! You guys can pick."

Joey said, "Well, we would pick a porno, so...."

"No pornos. It can be action, even sexy, but a mainstream movie."

They watched a movie filled with shootouts, car chases, and boobs. Monica would have been bored if she hadn't had her own little lab experiment going. A highly stimulating movie watched by two horny young men. She observed them carefully. The fact that they all knew what Ross and Rachel were doing at this moment seemed to highlight the sexually-charged atmosphere.

Joey's responses to the movie were disappointing. Or, rather, they were in line with Monica's low expectations. He was captivated by the car chases and shootouts, and he concentrated intensely on the sexy scenes. Monica could easily imagine that Joey was mentally putting himself into the sex scenes. It was a creepy thought.

Chander watched the action scenes with interest, but was clearly uncomfortable with the sexy scenes with Monica so close by. Chandler nervously glanced at Monica whenever there was nudity on the screen.

Deep into the movie, Joey received a phone call that he insisted he had to take. Chandler and Monica looked at one another skeptically. Joey was probably the last person anyone would want to call in an emergency. Monica paused the movie. Joey stepped into the hall for privacy.

With only Chandler and Monica in the room, and the movie not running, Chandler felt awkward immediately. On the other hand, Monica immediately felt comfortable alone with Chandler, when she had been uncomfortable with both he and Joey. Chandler was a lot like her brother, Ross, which Monica considered a very good thing in Chandler's favor. Chandler and Ross had been roommates at Columbia.

Monica enjoyed the feeling of mastery she had in this situation. She was quite comfortable, but Chandler looked about as if he was planning an escape. She said, "We've never really been alone together, have we?"

"No, I suppose not."

"Are you nervous, Chandler?"

"Oh, no, of course not. We've known each other forever, after all."

Monica let him stew a bit, and said, daringly, "I won't bite, if that's what you're afraid of. Or, maybe that's what you're hoping for."

"Uhhhh, biting is not on my list of fetishes."

"Mine neither. It just boggles the mind what some people are into!"

"I'll be frank, Monica. I can't help but wonder what Ross and Rachel are doing right now. Them getting together is a huge deal, for them, and for our little group."

"I know! Has Ross told you what's been going on, behind closed doors, that is?"

Chandler was defensive, "No!"

"You're lying. I can tell. Plus, I know that guys always talk, worse than girls."

Chandler admitted, "He told us some of it."

"Let's compare what Rachel told me with what Ross told you." They both sat up straighter and faced each other a little more directly. "Their first night, last Saturday. Rachel said that they had missionary sex twice. How about you?"

"I didn't have any sex, but Ross said the same."

Monica said, "It's your turn."

Chandler said, "Okay. Ross also said that they performed oral on each other the first night."

"Same here! Rachel also said that she was on top, and had an orgasm."

"Same here! It sounds like they're really telling the truth."

Monica said, "Let's boil it down to the smallest detail. Rachel said that, when she gave Ross head at first, she didn't let him finish."

"I'm pretty sure that's what Ross said, too. He definitely said that Rachel finished the job the next morning, however."

"Exactly!" Monica sighed, "Oh, I hope it works out for them, Chandler. It would be great for me to have my brother and best friend married. I think it would be great for them, too."

"I agree. We've always sort of assumed that Rachel was reserved for Ross, you know. Not that I ever had a shot with Rachel!"

"You guys actually assign girls to guys in imaginary relationships?"

"I'm afraid, Monica, that what men think is too lurid to speak out loud. There was a comedian who said, 'If women knew what men were thinking, they'd never stop slapping us.' Truer words were never said."

"I don't know. I think of you and Ross both as gentlemen. I guess that's why I'm not nervous to be alone with you."

"Oh, I'm flattered, Monica. Now let me flatter you. You are gorgeous. I guess that's why I'm nervous to be alone with you."

"Oh, that's sweet, Chandler. You don't have to be nervous. But, tell me what sort of things you guys have been thinking about me."

"No! If I told you that, you would never look at me the same way again!"

Monica said, "Okay, okay. How about this, who did you guys assign me to?"

"You weren't spoken for." Chandler saw Monica's face fall, and he hurried to allay her fears, "Oh, it's not because you aren't beautiful! It's just that nobody seemed to have the inside track with you, so everyone imagines what it would be like to be with you. With Ross and Rachel, they were an obvious couple. There would be big fight over you, Monica. That is, if we fought over women, which we would never do because we're not cavemen."

"You don't picture me with anyone in particular?"

"I picture you with the luckiest guy in the world, Monica."

Monica reached out to touch his hand, "That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, Chandler." At this inopportune moment, Joey returned, and they watched the end of the movie. Monica wanted to talk to Chandler some more, privately, but there was no seemly way to get Joey out of the picture.

When the guys left, Monica slept quickly and well. Chandler tossed and turned for a long time, pondering his conversation with Monica, and that touch that had sent electricity through his entire body. He imagined that Monica meant something with that touch, but he couldn't be sure.

Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel had an athletic night in his apartment. First, Ross performed cunnilingus on Rachel and induced a shattering orgasm. His ulterior motive was that he had three days of sperm to dispense, and he wanted her to be well-lubricated. Even with her natural vaginal juices, Rachel oiled Ross's cock before he mounted her.

Ross plunged his dick into her more abruptly than ever before. He slammed her harder than even their first time. On that occasion, he had masturbated the night before. Now, he had three times as much seed accumulated.

Rachel grunted with each thrust. She would have had to call "Uncle," and asked Ross to ease up, but he came very quickly. His orgasm was lengthy, due to the volume of seed he had to transfer to her. When he was done, she ran to the bathroom to clean up. She squeezed as much of his cum out of her vagina as possible.

Rachel ran back to bed, jumping into it with a squeal of delight. She lubricated his cock again, and mounted him. It was not easy working his schlong in. Her patience was ultimately rewarded when she felt her pubic hair mesh with his. Rachel pumped her hips pretty hard this time. She made Ross rock back and forth, as he had just done to her on a much larger scale.

Rachel slowed her thrusts and arched her back to prolong her orgasm. Rachel moaned and tossed her head around while she came. Ross loved how it made her hair fly about. Even with all the lubricants and bodily fluids in there, it was still a trial for her to dismount from him.

Ross suggested a quick shower. The shower was not quick, for the couple spent a good deal of time on procedures that were not strictly hygienic. When they returned to bed, Ross said, "Do you mind if we try another position?"

Rachel said, "Sure, what do you have in mind?

"Doggy style?"

"Woof!"

Rachel hopped into bed and got on all fours, wagging her behind a little. Ross got on his knees behind her. She interrupted his approach, "Oh, Ross, oil! I'll trust you to do it." Ross oiled his cock thoroughly. He got on his knees on the bed, behind her. She reached down to steer his cock into the correct orifice. Ross held her hips steady and inserted himself.

Ross could not penetrate as deeply in this position, which was an unlooked-for bonus for Rachel. This position was more comfortable than man-on-top. Ross slapped his groin against her ass innumerable times. As he felt his second climax approach, he reached his right hand around, and tickled her clitoris. Her eyes bulged, and she moaned, "Oh! Ohh! Ohhh! Ohhhhh!" In the end, he came, and she didn't.

"Drat, Rachel. I was trying for simultaneous orgasms."

"Oh, you came so close, Ross! It was a good try. Maybe start the fingering earlier next time."

"Check."

The next morning, at about eight, Ross's phone rang. He was in the bathroom shaving, so Rachel picked it up, "Ross Geller's phone."

There was a pause, and a woman's voice saying, "Oh, this is his mother, who's this?"

"Oh, hello, Mrs. Geller! This is Rachel. Rachel Green."

"Rachel!" Another pause, and, "You're there awfully early today, Rachel."

Rachel cringed slightly, knowing she had just informed Ross's mother of something in his life that he would rather have explained himself. "Oh, Mrs. Geller. May I call you Judy?"

"Yes, of course, dear."

"Well, Judy, I presume that Ross wanted to tell you in his own way and in his own time, but it's too late, now. Ross and I have been seeing each other, romantically."

"Really! I had no idea."

"It's only been one week, mind you, so it's a little early...."

"But you spent the night. What brought this on so suddenly?"

"Yes, well.... Judy, let's talk like mature women, okay?"

"Okay, Rachel."

"Last Saturday, Ross nailed me. After ten years, it finally happened."

"You make it sound...rough."

"Oh, no! You know Ross is a gentleman. It was very romantic, Judy. It was magic, pure magic. I think we will be very good for each other. Oh, here comes Ross." Rachel covered the phone with her hand and said to Ross, "It's your mom. I'm sorry, Ross. I didn't mean for her to find out like this."

Ross took the phone, "Mom!"

"Hello, Ross. Rachel tells me you have been seeing each other."

"Yes, mom. I had hoped to tell you and Dad in person, but I suppose this is all right. We've been seeing each other for a week, and we are working on something that could last."

"Oh, good for you, Ross! Rachel is such a pretty girl, and you have been alone so long. I am really happy for you both. Do you want me to tell your father, or would you like to do it?"

"You can tell him, Mom. I'm sure he'll take the news well." Jack Geller had had a bit of a crush on Rachel Green since he first laid eyes on her. He had actually encouraged Ross to pursue Rachel, primarily so he could live vicariously through his son.

"Okay. Put Rachel back on, dear."

Ross handed the phone to Rachel, "Yes, Mrs. Geller...I mean, Judy?"

"Rachel, I just want to tell you that I am so excited about this news. I always thought you two would make a cute couple."

"Thank you, Judy. I intend to make him happy." Ross said goodbye to his mom. Rachel said, "Well, I guess that went pretty well, under the circumstances."

Ross said, "Oh, of course it did. I never had any worries about my parents accepting our relationship, Rachel. They love you." He almost stumbled on the "L" word.

In fact, there were two deep conversations Ross needed to have with Rachel. First, the "L" word. Second, anal sex. Ross had succeeded with the "L" word with his lesbian wife, Carol, but he had never tried anal. He felt that a man was entitled to "go around the world" at least once in his life, if not once in each year.