Friends with Consequences Ch. 15-20

"Just creep on him when he's not paying attention," Sam confidently suggested. "Either you're afraid of his reaction, or you're afraid of the results. Don't try to pretend you're just the coolest girl in the world who has never thought about spying on her boyfriend."

As Sam walked off, shaking his head, Linda looked at Patricia with disgust on her face. "Can you believe that fucking guy? He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about!"

Patricia quietly stared down at the counter. There was a lot on her mind, but she just didn't know how to express the way she felt.

Noticing the change in her demeanor, Linda quickly grabbed her attention. "Patricia... what's wrong?"

Her sweet roommate shook her head, trying to get herself on track. Making eye contact, Patricia began speaking her mind. "You know... Jake does have a lot of red flags."

"So, you are taking his fucking side!" Linda shouted, rolling her eyes.

With a deep breath, Patricia continued, "Look... the last time I held my tongue, you almost got really hurt... I've been really, really, really concerned about your relationship with Jake. I mean, I thought he would have changed after you overdosed, but he just went right back to normal, like nothing ever happened. He didn't try to help by doing anything for you. He didn't even slow himself down to make it feel like he was with you on this... All he did was put the burden on you so he could continue doing things his own way. Now, at parties, he doesn't even hang out with you anymore. He just goes and drinks with his other friends like you're not even here."

"There's more to it than that!" Linda responded, getting teary-eyed. "It's pretty fucking ridiculous that you believe some random guy's opinion of Jake over me, your roommate, who has actually been dating him for over a year now."

"I'm not backing down this time..." Patricia said with a trembling voice.

"I can't fucking believe you!" Linda said, jumping up to her feet. "After all we've been through, it really sucks knowing you're not on my side. I thought we were really good friends!"

"I'm trying to be a good friend," Patricia argued, as her eyes started watering. "I thought I was being a good friend before by just supporting you, but I realized I was only letting things get worse."

Linda chuckled in disbelief, not knowing how to react. "Well, I disagree. Not supporting me means you are not my friend." She then stormed off, making her way towards the backyard.

Before Linda could open the door, she felt an enormous amount of guilt in her heart. The young woman paused, shutting her eyes tightly as she held the doorknob. With a deep breath, she looked back at her roommate before opening the door and walking out.

Hiding the stress on her face, Linda quickly ran out, where she greeted Jake, who was still with his friends. Giving him a little hug, she told him, "Patricia and I are heading out now. I'm actually not feeling well."

"Aw, sorry to hear that," Jake said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I hope you feel better, Baby. I love you."

"I love you too," Linda responded with a smile before trotting off.

After getting back into the kitchen, she saw Patricia, who was still visibly upset. "Hey... Can you do me a favor?"

Despite the pain Patricia felt from Linda's hurtful words, she understood her roommate was going through tough times. With a little sigh, she asked, "What is it?"

"Can you drive me around the block and bring me back?"

"I don't understand," Patricia responded, looking confused.

Just as Linda had requested, they drove away, giving off the appearance they were leaving for the night. After making a few turns through the neighborhood, she and Patricia returned and jumped out of the car.

"What are you doing?" Patricia asked, still confused.

Quietly rushing up to the wooden fence, Linda started peeking through a hole which gave her sight into the backyard. "Since you guys want me to spy on him so badly, I figured this will finally prove he's not cheating on me."

Patricia's heart started to race at the idea of spying on Jake. She's finally taking my advice! she thought to herself.

As Linda watched through the hole in the fence, she suddenly went frozen.

"What do you see?!" Patricia urgently asked. She grew concerned, noticing her roommate wasn't saying or doing anything. But as Linda started to tremble, she once again asked, "What do you see?!"

"He's hugging another girl..."

Almost blowing a sigh of relief, Patricia responded, "That's not that bad. I'm sure he has an explanation..."

"His hand is on her ass," Linda interrupted, sounding dead inside. Her voice was so flat, there wasn't an ounce of emotion coming out of her.

"Oh... Well, I guess there is no explanation for that..." Patricia started, putting a hand on Linda's shoulder. "What are you going to do?"

The long-haired brunette simply took her eye away from the gate before sliding down to the ground, looking defeated. "Nothing..." she answered, putting her head in her lap.

"You're going to do nothing?!"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know exactly what to do, but you should at least confront him! You can't just let him get away with this!"

"Patricia..." Linda said, looking up with her sad eyes. "It's... not exactly cheating..."

"It is cheating!" her roommate argued. "I can't believe I'm having to explain this to you!"

"It's probably my fault... He has a very high sex drive and I haven't really been in the mood lately," Linda admitted with the quiet voice. "Hugging and touching another girl's ass is bad but it's not exactly cheating. It's not like he's having sex with her. And besides, I did something..."

"Look!" Patricia urgently interrupted, not even listening to her roommate's speech. Looking through the hole for herself, she frantically exclaimed, "He's not just grabbing her ass; he's kissing on her neck!"

Linda pushed Patricia out of the way and immediately put her face up to the hole. After seeing Jake kissing on the girl's neck the way he used to kiss on hers, she quickly grabbed the gate and slung it open with all her might.

"Jake!" she yelled, rushing towards him with her hands clenched and tears swelling up. "What the fuck!?"

"Linda!" the older frat guy exclaimed, before quickly pushing himself away from the other woman.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

"What the fuck are you doing?! You told me you were leaving! Did you just trick me so you could spy on me?!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Linda screamed, grabbing her hair as if she were going to pull it out. "Don't you dare fucking turn this around on me! You always turn shit around on me!"

"I don't know what the fuck you think you saw, but your jealousy has blinded you! You've been driving me insane, Linda!"

"My jealousy is driving you insane?!" she screamed, with veins popping out of her forehead. "I was never even allowed to look at your fucking phone or come over without giving you a thirty-minute notification, and you're going to pull the jealous girlfriend bullshit on me!?"

"Because you're acting like a psycho!" Jake yelled, causing everyone to gasp. "That's why I had to set up those basic rules that anybody in a relationship should already understand."

Being called a psycho struck a new chord in Linda, causing something inside to snap. She dropped down, squatting all the way to the ground while holding her head. With every ounce of strength she had left, she fought off having a nervous breakdown in front of everyone.

Every inch of her body was hurting, inside and out. It felt as if she were paralyzed, as the weight of the world kept her down in that position.

With everything she had, Linda wanted to let him know that he had taken everything from her, but suddenly, a voice inside stopped her, releasing her from the paralyzed state. You never had anything to begin with, it said, bringing her back to reality.

She got up to her feet, now a completely broken woman. In a flat tone, she told Jake, "I can't do this anymore... Goodbye..."

Jake argued mightily, but Linda couldn't hear any of his words as she walked away. Everything she feared for so long was now confirmed. The voice in her head was right; she didn't have anything. There was no reason to pretend to be happy any longer. She could just be the depressed woman she really was.

Patricia quickly grabbed her, holding her close as she took her back to the car. Linda needed that emotional embrace, but unfortunately, she couldn't feel a thing.

*****

The entire ride back, Patricia didn't know what to say. She felt vindicated for finally standing up to Linda and confronting her about her self-destructive behaviors. Unfortunately, the sense of vindication was nowhere near as strong as the sorrow she felt for her roommate.

She began to doubt herself, wondering if Linda would have just been happier staying in that terrible relationship. Though her roommate had not looked happy in a long time, Patricia had never seen anything like the emotion she saw out of Linda at the party.

When they got to the room, the depressed brunette immediately collapsed onto the floor, not having the strength to make it to her bed. Lying there with her eyes wide-open, she kept replaying everything that had happened not only that night, but since she stepped foot on campus.

Looking down at her roommate and seeing how broken she looked inside, Patricia kneeled down beside her. "Why don't you at least get into bed, Sweetie?"

"I don't want to..." Linda responded, never making eye contact.

"Are you just going to stay on the floor all night?"

"Maybe..."

Feeling terrible for her friend, Patricia began lying down beside her. Putting her arm around Linda, she whispered, "Can I stay here with you?"

Linda turned back and made eye contact with her before nodding her head. Realizing what a great friend Patricia was to her, not only then but the entire time they were roommates, she whispered, "I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what?" Patricia asked, poking her head up.

Linda turned her head back as Patricia spooned her. "I'm sorry for what I said at the party... You're an amazing friend, and I don't deserve you...."

"It's okay," her sweet roommate quickly responded, hugging her even tighter. "It hurt when you said it, but I knew you didn't mean it."

Linda stared at the wall with a blank face again. "Patricia... why do I hurt the ones who care for me the most?"

"You don't..."

"Yes, I do... I hurt you tonight. I hurt Max when I started dating Jake, and I hurt my parents when I got put on academic probation."

Patricia felt like she had to say something, but she didn't know how to answer such a heavy question. Trying to make her roommate feel better, she suggested, "You've never hurt Jesse, and you care about her."

After pausing for a moment to think about it, the sad woman replied, "I did... She just doesn't know about it."

"How could she be hurt if she doesn't know about it?"

"I used to sleep around with Max before I got to college. When I started dating Jake, Jesse wanted to see if Max would sleep with her, but I wouldn't let her. She always thought he was cute, and maybe she would have been really interested in him, but I didn't let her because I wanted to keep him as a backup."

After a pause to take everything in, Patricia started brushing her fingers through Linda's hair. "Everyone makes mistakes."

Linda stayed silent, reflecting on all the things she had done wrong. She was no longer in denial; She accepted that she was a failure.

Seeing tears welling up in Linda's eyes again, Patricia asked, "Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all that?"

"I just want to lie here..."

Patricia stayed with her, brushing her hair while as the stayed on the floor. Eventually, Linda noticed her roommate's hand had stopped moving as her breathing became heavier. After a few minutes, she finally got up to her feet before picking her roommate up in her arms.

Waking up confused, Patricia asked with a groggy voice, "What's happening?"

"You fell asleep. I'm putting you on your bed."

Patricia started to look disappointed. "Ugh... I was going to do that for you when you fell asleep..."

"It's okay," Linda responded, gently placing her roommate on the mattress. "I appreciate you."

"Thank you... Are you going to bed too?"

"Yeah, I'm going to bed," Linda answered. "Thank you for everything tonight..."

The broken woman turned off the lights before returning to the same spot. She remained there for the rest of the night, not getting a single moment of sleep.

*********

The next day, Max had just finished a workout with his friend, John. "Thanks for still helping me work out. I've been a little too busy to come out for soccer but it's great to still work out with you."

"No problem, Man. I enjoy having a workout buddy."

"I'll try to come out more often. I get jealous when Allie gets to go but I have to stay back and study."

Much to Max's a surprise, John changed the subject by bringing up a sensitive topic. "Speaking of Allie, the last time she came out, she told us about your friend. I hope she's okay."

Max came to a complete stop, and the smile disappeared from his face. "She told you about my friend?"

John looked back and started scratching his head. "Didn't your friend go to the hospital because she overdosed or something?"

"Yeah... that happened... It was a pretty private matter though... Kind of inappropriate for Allie to tell you that."

"Oh, it's not a big deal. I was just asking how you've been and she kind of brought that up."

This was worse than the snooping Allie usually did in Max's mind. This was a total invasion of privacy by disclosing such a personal event. The young man started shaking his head, frustrated that his girlfriend would do such a thing.

"Are you okay, Max?" his friend asked.

"I'm swell... and my friend is fine now, so we don't need to discuss that anymore. Let's let her have some privacy."

"That's great that your friend is doing better. And that's also great that you're so respectful of her privacy. Just out of curiosity, Max... did you ever like... date this girl or anything?"

Max immediately gritted his teeth as he screamed in his head, Allie!

************

"It's pretty rare for you to be the one who initiates having a smoke," Lee said as he stood outside with his roommate. "You must be pretty stressed out."

Max took a big puff of a cigarette as soon as he lit it up. "I am... I hope I'm not addicted, but I really felt like I needed to smoke."

"What happened, Big Guy? Having girlfriend problems again?"

"Kind of... We just got into a big ass fight over the phone. I told her it was inappropriate for her to tell her friends about Linda's medical issue. I'm also pretty sure she told our mutual friend to snoop, and make sure nothing is going on between me and Linda."

"What is that... like red flag number forty-seven?" Lee scoffed. "This Allie is sounding better and better every time you talk about her."

"She's great," Max quickly tried to clarify. "But lately, she's just been really... jealous... I don't know what her problem is."

"Girls can be like that sometimes," Lee explained. "Especially if their boyfriend's ex is hot. She probably doesn't like that Linda is taller than her and has those long legs."

Max looked at his roommate, perplexed. "You have a really good memory. When was the last time you even saw Linda?""

Lee then laughed as he looked through the courtyard. "She's right there."

Max went completely wide-eyed as he looked around. For a moment, he thought his roommate was joking, but then he laid his eyes on his former neighbor, who was walking straight towards him.

"Linda..." he said with a soft voice. He could tell there was something different about her. Every time he saw his former neighbor, she looked even more depressed than she did the last time. However, things had gone to a whole new level. It looked as if she had been crying for days without taking a break.

The broken woman walked straight up to Max, looking as nervous as she ever had. Twiddling her fingers and barely able to make eye contact, she quietly responded, "Hi Max..."

"Linda... Are you okay?"

"Yeah... Well, no... Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah, of course," Max said before looking at his roommate. "Do you mind if I talk to Linda real quick?"

"Go ahead," Lee responded, nodding his head.

Both Linda and Max stared at Lee as he stood there quietly, staring back at them.

Finally, Max said, "I meant, can I talk to her in private?"

Lee nodded his head once again before letting out a disappointing sigh. "Fine..."

Once his roommate finally left, Max looked at his old neighbor with concern. "What's wrong?"

"I... uhh... I've just been going through a lot lately."

"Yeah, with the hospital visit and all... you must be really stressed out."

"Not just that..." Linda responded, looking at Max with her soft eyes. On the verge of tears she continued, "You were right about Jake... I was in such denial; I couldn't see how obviously wrong I was about him. We had a big fight because he was all over some other girl... and then I found out he had been telling several women he was single so he could hook up with them..."

Max's heart sank. "Linda... I'm so sorry..."

"No, it's my fault... I'm so stupid... Even a blind person could see what he was doing. You were right to ask your friend about Jake for me... You were right to warn me about him... You were right to ask your friend to keep checking up on me... You were right about... everything!"

Seeing his former love interest starting to break down in front of him, Max grabbed her in an emotional embrace. Holding her tightly as she cried against his shoulder, he whispered, "I don't care about being right. I just wanted you to be okay."

The broken woman quickly pushed herself away so she could look into Max's eyes. "How are things with you and Allie? Do you ever... uh... fight or anything?"

Max shook his head and looked at her, confused. "Why... are you asking me that?"

"It's just... hypothetically... if you guys were to ever break up... would you ever want to be with me again?"

Max looked down, feeling the pain in his former love interest's voice. Though it hurt him to admit it, he knew Linda needed the truth. "No..." he quietly responded, shaking his head.

Linda let out a hurtful gasp, as yet another part of her had died inside. "No? But... why?"

"I just... I don't think I could be with someone... knowing I wasn't their first choice," Max answered, finally showing the pain in his eyes that Linda never got to see before. "I don't think I could ever stop thinking you'd still be with him if things hadn't gone so wrong. I want to feel like I was a first choice, and I just don't think I'd ever have that with you."

Seeing the hurt in his eyes, Linda finally understood what she had put Max through so long ago. Nodding her head, she just responded, "I understand... That's fair."

"I'm so sorry, Linda..."

"Don't be sorry; it's my fault," the young woman replied, still holding back ears. "I just need you to know something. Remember that night when I came to your room, right before I OD'd?"

"Yeah... you were drunk."

"I was drunk but... I remember everything I said because I meant it. I wanted to leave Jake to be with you... but you're with someone else now... and that's fine. But the truth is, I was the happiest in my life when we were... together. And even if I can't be with you... I'd really like to be friends so I can have you back in my life... I need you in my life, so I'll take whatever capacity you're willing to give me."

Every chord in Max's heart was being tugged as he fought back tears. It felt for the first time in his life, he was seeing the true Linda. It made him terribly sad that she had to be so broken for him to finally see it.