All Comments on 'From Rags to Riches! Ch. 03'

OK, who the fuck is Brian?

Please explain the relative ages of Josh and Heather; they are both in their last year at high school and need a teacher, so the year isn’t finished. Are they twins? If not, please explain.

How can someone hear someone else sneeze in another room, but not hear the bath running and other louder sounds?

The storyline is great, with so many possible directions BUT the changes of names (Josh/Brian) and tense, from third to first person, are distracting. I only hope good editing will solve this. May the story continue for a long time!!

Sorry, it's gone from bad to worse. Best wishes.

Bold text is not your friend.

Have respect for your readers and get your stories properly proof read

Chapters 1 & 2 were great, but as soon as you brought the brother & sister in at Chapter 3 it went completely downhill not even 2*.

Get back to the main story or forget about it.

So far well done. I like how you built your storyboard and then integrated the characters. Just well done. I look forward to your additional chapters. Don't worry about the nay sayers.... Keep up the good work and keep the chapters cumming!!!!!!

You started out very well. Am waiting for the next chapter. Please don't stop now like some writers do.

10 months and counting down for the next chapter. Even with such a good start, reader's attention can go elsewhere.

You need to clean this up, talk about difficult to read!, If you're gonna write a story in the first person , than keep it that way, and it seems like you could use a new editor or two, or at least a proofreader. Great story, but Im inclined to ignore the rest of it as it's so difficult to read!!

So you really think a man, whose wife is dying, is going to fuck some slut? Get real. 1 for your arrogant ignorance

1 star. for an affair with PA when wife is ill.