All Comments on 'Fun in the Snow'

I really loved the 'I' and 'You' approach, but I could not identify with it much due to the fact that I'm an experienced adult and couldn't get much erotic joy from it.

There just wasn't much personal substance and no detailed or even mentioned foreplay. Perhaps if these two had just been horny as hell and just wanted to "do it" I might have understood. As I see, most readers of erotica want as much dynamic tension, provocativeness, inventiveness, descriptiveness, emotion and not 'Grope Need.' I also became confused as to bodily postitioning. This might be pornography, but it sure ain't literotica. You can do a whale of a lot better.

I like the fact that you tried a different perspective approach. Unfortunatly the "you" "I" perspectives just doesn't work. It led to a lot of confusion, because both "you" and "I" refer to the reader, and unless two people are reading it together it just doesn't work. Being a guy, I couldn't very well be the one with the breasts, and a girl couldn't be the other way around either.