All Comments on 'Gangbanged to Cover my Rent & Debts'

You're going well, practice will make perfect, but you are on the right path.

Great start for a first story, but yeah, little more practice and slowing down to add the detail will add a lot

Thanks for sharing! I agree, slow it down a bit in your next ones but a good first story nonetheless.

Welcome to Literotica.

I did not rate your story because I was having difficulty getting into it and didn't finish reading it. That was only because of my own personal predilections and disinclinations and nothing to do with your level of writing.

I hope you choose to continue to submit stories to Literotica and I wish you the best of luck.

Some language issues and it was very dry in the telling. Quite rushed

To all those who commented, thank you, I know my story writing skills need a bit of work and even I feel it was a bit rushed (mostly because I just wanted to get it off my chest).

I'll keep your advise in mind for next time. Thanks :).

I would love watching a cute blond like you being turned into a whore. The brothers in LA would love having you to pass around and the more you resisted the hotter in would be.

nice onest lady with sweeet heart, keep going !

Overall the plot is good and nice work on the background.

But, you didn’t actually told a story, it was more listing down of things that happened.

If ,as you said, you just wanted to get it off you chest, than leave it as is.

If you want to turn it into a story, you should add in more details several occurrences and not just the picsIcal act also how the character felt.

By the way, on some comments, it was suggested to slow down the story. I don’t agree with that. A good story can rapidly jump from incident to incident, but those incidents should be details and with reason why you chose them.

Great job, I admire anyone who gets out there and write a story!

Good job for a first story. This really should have been your outline for a more detailed erotic story.

And editor would be beneficial to you.

In your story you say they or he fucked me.

What we readers want to hear, or read is, ...'I heard the distinct sound of a metal zipper being pulled down, as I turned around to face him, he was pulling out his already swollen purple cock, rubbing the shaft with his meaty fist.'

Bring us in, use all of our senses. Tell us what you hear, see, smell, taste, feel.

This was heartbreaking to read. Land lords are a scourge but this is something else. I’m glad to hear that you are out of this and I am balling my eyes out from this atrocious injustice you had to endure. Those vile excuses for human beings deserve the worst.

shit story with shit people

Girl, you need to be in therapy for what they did to you. That's repulsive and I'm sorry you had to endure it.