Geoff and Marie; Geoff The Model

"Wednesday night?" I reminded her of my original question.

"Well, that's the thing; isn't it?" She squirmed uncomfortably. "The obvious two are Kate and Sam."

She was right of course. In Jo's absence, Megan would have been the obvious substitute. Megan whose bed I'd just left. The next in the sequence was Sam, the forty-something paramedic; Kate's daughter.

"Ohhh," I contributed, rather unhelpfully.

"Exactly," Marie replied. "But we knew that it could happen. We even decided that we would be prepared to invite them both on the same evening, but not to have our open-door policy afterwards. I think that encouraging incest, even lesbian incest, is a step too far." She smiled to herself. "Even for us."

When got home, Marie was going to speak to Sam and Kate to explain the situation and find out how they felt about it, and then ring round to tell the others about our plan. I made some calls of my own.

First was Tony, the landlord at The Black Swan. We'd just seen the room, but if it wasn't available, the whole prospect became more difficult. It was and I agreed to call in that evening to discuss the arrangements. That meant that I was free to invite guests. Like Marie, I shied away from involving family. As tempting as it was, Peter, Linda and their partners were not getting an invitation to see me banging one of Marie's best friends.

Mike, my friend from my rugby days called to his wife when I told him my plan. She shouted back that they would all be delighted to come. She wanted to meet the people who had made the idea of their own formal three person relationship seem possible.

Next was Adrian. He seemed to be the core of the group of students we'd met in the pub. He and Emily, his very submissive girlfriend, were close to Angie and me. They were both eager to come and he was sure that the others, Mark, Tabbie and Alice, would too.

Our favourite taxi driver, Ken, seemed keen but he needed to speak to his wife, Cath, before he accepted for both of them. Personally, though I'd only spoken to her on the phone, I was sure that she'd agree.

I had left it to Marie to speak to Wendy and Jane and also to see if Megan thought Charles might be able to attend. We met up about an hour later in the kitchen. Everyone we'd spoken to was on board, we merely needed confirmation from the others. I asked Marie how she'd described the plan to Wendy and Jane.

She looked a little awkward. "I invited them to the pub to meet the girls. I told them that it was a surprise birthday party for one of my friends and, if you could arrange it at short notice, there might be some adult entertainment. I think that they are expecting a male stripper or something. They both seemed very enthusiastic."

Sam had been on duty when my wife called. She had explained the situation to Kate who had promised to talk to her daughter and get back to us.

We were deciding what to have for tea when Colin joined us. This time without his friend, Mia. "Hello, sweetheart," his grandma greeted him. "Where's your friend?"

"She does art club on Tuesdays after school. Her mum will pick her up."

"Grandad was thinking about making a lamb keema for tea. Does that sound okay?"

"That sounds amazing," he replied. He's an easy lad to feed.

I sent him off to start his homework while we prepped the meal. In ten minutes the onions were sliced, the garlic grated and the spices measured ready to add. I finished chopping the wilted spinach and checked the recipe. "All done, just twenty minutes cooking from start to finish."

I left my wife to amuse herself and went in search of Colin. He was in my study frowning at my laptop. "Problem?" I asked.

"I have to give three examples of something called 'Entropy' and I can't really. I sort of understood in class, but it's just gone out of my head."

A passage from a Douglas Adams book came to mind; something about the Tribesmen of the Cold Hillsides, the Princes of The Plains and the Dwellers in the Forest. The first two would wage war with each other in the forest and the latter group would suffer terribly as collateral damage. When they asked why the war had to take place in their forest, the answer, The Reason, seemed so obvious while it was being explained but less so when they returned to the smouldering remains of their villages. Most folk would recognise the feeling. I tried to help. "Imagine this. Your mum has spent all Saturday morning cleaning and tidying your bedroom. What does it look like the following Friday?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Not great," he mumbled.

"That's entropy," I explained. "Your mum expended energy to put things into an ordered state but, over time, that order decays towards randomness. Can you think of similar examples?"

"Like ruined castles?" He asked, uncertain.

"Exactly," I replied

"Or copying a copy?"

"So describe what happens," I prompted him.

"We still have a copier at school. If you copy a new document, then the copy is pretty cool, but every time you copy a copy, the background gets greyer and the text gets paler. Eventually, you have to guess what some of the words are."

"So now you have two examples of your own to submit, and you can use mine too. Is that it?" I checked. "Shall I leave you to type that up?"

He looked uncomfortable. "The talk... About sex..."

I waited.

"Is it bad?" He asked.

"Not really," I reassured him. "There's stuff you need to know now and things you really don't need to know in detail for a couple of years."

He didn't look convinced.

"Okay," I began. "We'll start now so you don't get hung up worrying about having to have this talk later. We'll talk about how your body will change, how girls' bodies change and what utter bollocks your mates at school will tell you when they try to show off how much they know about sex."

He seemed to relax and we sat talking quietly for forty minutes or so, me taking a break for a coffee part way through. He coped well, though he admitted that periods sounded gross. I pointed out that girls would probably agree, but they weren't, by and large, optional. He also seemed to understand my main point; that nature had come up with a simple formula: penis + vagina = pregnancy. Until we had our next talk, in a couple of years, dealing with the mechanics of sex, if he took nothing else from our chat, he really had to remember that straightforward equation.

He obviously understood what I was telling him. "So girls can get pregnant doing it standing up?"

"Absolutely," I agreed.

"Then it sounds like some of the Year Elevens are gonna be really deep in the doo doo."

"If they've been getting their sex-ed exclusively from someone's big brother who has a porn site subscription, then probably, yes."

"Thanks grandad. That wasn't so bad." And so saying he went back to his physics. I left him to it and went off in search of my wife.

Marie smiled up at me when I found her, reading in the lounge. "You are the total package aren't you, my love?"

I looked at her, quizzically.

"Sex, my dear," she clarified. "I heard part of your tutorial with Colin. You seem to excel at the theoretical as well as the practical aspects. Now, if you ever manage to actually figure women out too, you could be a Nobel Prize contender."

The very thought made me laugh out loud. "Now you mention it though." I lowered my voice and sat next to her. "I could do with talking to you about Lucy."

"Before you begin," Marie responded. "May I say this?" I sat back and she continued. "Megan and I talk. She and Charles agree that Lucy is in love with you. Her first husband died, her second husband is a treacherous twat and you, my love, represent the closest thing in her life to a constant male source of support."

She saw me struggling to understand. "Megan, Kate and Jo, Margie and Sue too, they just need sex. They like you and, more importantly, they trust you, but their feelings go no further than trust and affection."

She carried on, while I listened, fascinated. "Sam needs your intuitive grasp of how to help her deal with her demons. She really needs professional help but she appreciates the way you empathise with her struggles."

"Angie needs help dealing with the world. I'm not convinced she's actually neurodiverse but she does have issues with some social interactions. Personally, I wonder if it's just because she's so much more intelligent than the rest of us that she sees these social niceties, behaviours that are apparently so important to everyone else, as meaningless nonsense." Marie gave me a hard stare. "You, dear husband, are her bridge. You speak her language but you are connected to our world too. You give her confidence and, when you command her, you allow her to shut down all of her defences and trust absolutely in you. She cherishes those moments of peace."

"I, on the other hand, need a partner. Someone who shares my goals and values but with a different perspective. You and I together are greater than the sum of our parts. I can hardly believe how close we came to destroying something so perfect but it will never," her voice hardened, "ever, happen again. Adding Angie to what we already have extends our partnership in another dimension, one I'm looking forward to exploring."

She took my hand. "And now back to your original point: All that Lucy needs from you is your love. Knowing that you feel the way that you do about her gives her value. She knows that she's a capable artist, but Eddie made her question herself as a woman. You love me; and Angie. You think Jo is gorgeous. But you've never been embarrassed to admit that you think Lucy is sexy. That does wonders for her self-esteem. Yes, you tease her about being a blonde dingbat, but that doesn't hurt her. She knows it's affectionate.

"You've seen her recent work. That's down to you; you let her rediscover the woman she was fifteen years ago and she wants to repay you. So let her. She would never do anything to harm what we have: so you and she may have the same freedom as you and Angie. Love her and let her show her love for you."

I sat, quietly impressed by Marie's comprehensive analysis of my sex life. "Jane and Wendy?" I prompted her.

She considered for a moment. "With the benefit of hindsight,' she conceded. "I should have let you sleep with Jane five or six years ago. She needed you, and Ben would have benefited from growing up having you as a role model. But..." Here she dipped her head in reluctant acknowledgement. "We just weren't ready."

"Jane has had a thing for you since before her husband passed. An innocent enough crush at first, but your," She stared accusingly at me, "Your supposedly innocent flirting has given her hope of some sort of part emotional, part physical relationship."

She sighed. "I think she needs to get laid; she needs to be reminded that she's more than a widow and a single mum; she needs the confidence to rebuild her life so she can move on."

I nodded slowly. That sounded like a fair summary.

My wife graciously accepted my agreement and carried on. "Wendy is more damaged. While Jane lost her husband to illness, she ought to realise that she's still an attractive woman. Wendy has been hurt, though, just like Lucy. She's convinced herself that her husband abandoned her, because she's; what did she call herself? "A great heffalump". You, in fact we, need to show her what a striking girl she actually is."

Marie frowned as she chose her next words. "It's possible that we may have to have you date her."

"Christ, Marie!" I exploded, taken by surprise. "I know we keep bending the rules, but this?"

"No, dear." She disagreed. "We keep ignoring the rules, especially when they interfere with what's needed. There should be only one rule; 'Primum non nocere'."

I looked blankly at her. "First do no harm," she translated for my benefit. "Supposedly part of the Hippocratic Oath, but it seems just as relevant here. If we can help Wendy at no risk to our marriage, what is the point of an arbitrary rule, however well intentioned, that prevents us? In fact." I got another hard stare. "Isn't this similar to the argument you used to persuade me to go along with your scheme for Jo?"

Well, no not really: perhaps a little. Okay, quite similar in a way. She went back to her book while I considered her words. Nothing she had said changed the way I viewed our friends. She had reminded me what an amazing woman I'd been lucky enough to marry though. I was still savouring that thought when Colin joined us.

He explained his homework to his gran while I listened to make sure that he'd understood just how fundamental the concept of entropy was. When he said, "And grandma, it applies to everything, mountains, stars, even people." I stood; my work here was done. My work in the kitchen, however, was just about to start.

We had a civilised, if spicy, meal with Linda and Colin then, once they had left, I reminded my wife that I had an appointment at the pub. She decided to send me on my own, saying that she would look for a suitable way to wrap Jo's birthday present while I was gone. She did suggest that I might like to limit my beer input and hurry back, as she fancied an early night. I still had a few hours worth of my erection pill coursing through my system, so that sounded like a most excellent idea.

It was still fairly quiet in the bar when I arrived. I ordered a pint and Tony pulled one for himself and joined me at a table, leaving the barmaid to cope on her own. I explained that it was Marie's friend's birthday on Friday and that I intended to invite some additional guests to their usual 'girly get together' as a surprise.

He looked levelly at me. "I believe every word," he told me. "But you're not telling me everything. Go on; spill."

I gave him one last chance. "Plausible deniability," I explained. "There may be some adult entertainment involved. If you were prepared to let us have the room with a locked door, you couldn't be accused of being complicit."

"Are we talking about male strippers banging screaming, sex-crazed, married women?" He asked. "Because word gets around, and that's a reputation I don't need."

I pointed to the stairs. "Five minutes," I suggested. "I'll explain and, if you agree, we'll see what I need to make it happen."

Ten minutes later, we were back in the bar. We shook hands on the deal. The room was ours from half past three on Friday afternoon at a very reasonable rate. The only staff involved would be Tony and his wife, Gail, as long as they were allowed to be in the audience. When the performance started, he would be in charge of the door: privacy guaranteed. It was a compromise I needed to make if Jo was to live out her fantasy, and I trusted him. I hoped Marie agreed.

It was barely nine by the time I got home. I recounted my discussion with Tony and the understanding we had reached. Marie noticed my uncertain expression. "It will be fine," she reassured me. "He's a decent man and Gail's lovely too. We're regular customers; almost friends." She cuddled up next to me on the sofa, her book discarded. "They get to see a free sex show. What would it profit them to betray our trust by bragging about it? Tony has worked hard to raise The Swan's reputation. In what world would he consider trashing it?"

"That was my thinking too," I admitted. "I was just worried that perhaps I had been a bit naïve."

"No. Remember, you offered Tony a solution to improve the marketability of that tired old function room. He's not going to piss you off now, is he."

I accepted that she was almost certainly correct. Then a thought occurred to me. "Earlier this evening, didn't you mention an early night?"

She grinned at me. "Indeed, you remember correctly. Shall we?"

And we did. Twice!

We woke early on Wednesday morning to a text from Kate.

**Sam and I are both mature enough to realise that the other has a sex life. We are ok having sex in the same house. Not ok having sex in the same room. Can you and Geoff live with that?**

Marie replied straight back.

**We have no interest in making you uncomfortable. We just want you to be happy. C u 2nite**

Less than a minute later, a smiley face emoji appeared. We had our guests for the evening.

By now I some idea of the logistics for Jo's party. The nights were drawing in and we'd have to have the curtains closed for privacy. I wanted some atmospheric lighting and a couple of other items.

Tony was going to have a group of tables pushed together in the centre of room, for the eleven women, with one to the side for Jo's birthday cake. there were sufficient additional tables and chairs around the walls that could be quickly rearranged for the additional guests. He agreed to supply a solid but comfortable chair on the small stage just in case we needed it.

For the performance, I knew what I wanted, so I invited Marie out for a trip to the garden centre for a coffee. "I thought you were busy," she argued.

"Two birds, one stone," I replied. "Lighting and some set dressing. If I can combine my shopping with spending time with you, then all the better."

"You're just saying that because I let you stick your willy in my special place last night," she giggled.

"And very nice it was too," I admitted. "Now, go and put some knickers on and I'll treat you to breakfast out."

We got home around two that afternoon. I'd bought a couple of sets of low voltage spotlights, some extra thick double sleeping pads (like yoga mats) and a roll of gaffer tape. My plan was to install the lights on Thursday afternoon, and play with the settings to create the closest ambience that I could to my vision of a seedy Amsterdam sex-club.

I'd also found something else that earned me a kiss and a smile from Marie when I explained my reasoning. But that wasn't for Jo's party. "Who says men can't multi-task," she observed, patting my cheek. "If there's anything left in your tank tonight after our guests leave." She stood on tip-toe to whisper in my ear, "You can have a free pass for anything you want." I had to smile to myself. Even at our lowest point, my wife had never refused me anything. Still, her offer was sincere and worth considering.

It was Marie's turn to cook tea that evening, so I decided to look for some mood music. Good old YouTube. An entire channel of sensual lounge music mixes. I picked one I liked within ten minutes. That reminded me. I had a really good Bluetooth speaker somewhere. I'd just tracked it down to the study, when Colin arrived with Mia.

She looked at me rather nervously until Colin gave her an encouraging nod. "Dr Barnes," she began. "I told mum what you said about you not being able to discuss sex with me. And she said she understood, and that you were probably right to be cautious." She swallowed, glanced at my grandson and carried on. "So I asked her to explain it to me, and she did, and Colin and I, we compared notes on the way here from school and we think we understand."

Colin took pity on her and took over. "We understand that we are growing up and our bodies will change. We understand that the way we see other people will change, but you and Mia's mum were both very clear that doing any sex stuff could end up making a baby and that would cause a lot of hurt. We've promised each other not to let that happen and not to listen to anyone who says it's okay if... and then they say something stupid."

Mia nodded in agreement. "Mum says that she wants me to get a degree and I can't do that as a single mum. I wanted to say that I know you can't tell me about sex but you can tell Colin." She reached out and held his hand. "And Colin will tell me."

I looked at the pair in admiration; still children but so mature. "I can tell you this," I offered. "At some point, someone will offer you drinks. Drunk people don't make wise choices. Decent men don't have sex with drunk girls. But not all men are decent; drunk men especially so." I watched to see if they followed my logic. I didn't want to tell them not to drink. I wanted them to work out for themselves why they shouldn't drink to excess.