Getting It Wrong

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750 word challenge.
871 words
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First a couple of acknowledgements.

Real life has ramped up where I expected it to ramp down. As a result, I haven't caught up with all the feedback from our last outing but hope to shortly. So please don't be disappointed if you don't see me take advantage of some of your suggestions here.

From what I've read already I got some outstanding feedback; I thank each of you who took of YOUR valuable time to do so. Believe me, I will take your suggestions to heart!

Getting It Wrong

An entry into the 750 word challenge, just to prove I am capable of brevity. No, these words don't count. Neither does the title, sheeesh. Ready? Set. Go!

*****

Mandy came home sorrowful, terribly sorrowful. She sat across from her husband.

"Kyle, I need you to know you are the best. I do love you, though you won't believe that now. I have to confess; I have been seeing another.

"I don't even know exactly how it happened. Tomas has a magic about him. He's very good looking and the gals all... I'm sorry, he has something women respond to. At first, I just enjoyed the attention from other ladies when he paid attention to me. Why was he spending time on me? I was sure he was seeing one of them.

"Then it got weird, scaring me. He said I was special... that he wanted me. I knew it was wrong. I was married; taken. But I couldn't let his attention go. I had no intention of going that far, but it seemed if I didn't blur the lines, I would lose that attention. I blurred the lines until I fell.

"Now, I must come clean, although I can't stand hurting you. I just got pulled in deeper and deeper. I never wanted to be the type of woman who would do this. But I'm rather average, plain really, and I had no defenses against him. Seduction was all brand new to me. I can't stand this - doing this to you. You are the best. I -- I -- I can't..."

Kyle rushed to Mandy and held her. She stiffened, then felt his earnest warmth, even now wanting to help her.

"Oh my God. Even now, you are putting me first. You really do love me, don't you? You really do put me first..."

Then she understood, "Oh God. Oh no. It can't be, it must not! How could I have made this worse? You are forgiving me - taking me back, telling me we will make it - aren't you?!"

Kyle answered, "Yes Mandy, you are my everything. Life isn't worth living without you."

Astonished Mandy cried, "God in heaven, how could You have let this happen to me? What are You doing to him? Why did You let me lead us here?"

Eyes huge she asked, "Kyle, you would really be willing to work on this marriage after my affair? What about your standards? I thought they were everything to you?" Mandy was beside herself at having burnt her bridge; her belief that reconciliation was not an option had played a major role in her giving in to even deeper depravity.

"No Mandy, you are everything to me. I'm sure there will be damage, but I've told you I would die for you. You are certainly more important than me. Forget me alone, it's more important to save us as a couple. In a last resort situation, it's more important to save you; even if it's from yourself. Saving me wouldn't come into it until after those two goals have been accomplished."

Mandy looked at the new equation, it was obviously something she had not considered, bringing her to a conclusion that made her extremely sad and upset.

Why the hesitation, Kyle wondered? His face blanked as he finally saw the truth, "I've got it all wrong!" He looked at her astonished, "You aren't asking for forgiveness."

Mandy answered quietly, "Yes, I am."

"But you've chosen him. You're leaving me."

"Yes."

In his heart her meek sadness resounded like a thunderclap.

Suddenly sobbing she explained, "That's what I had to tell you. I hate myself for it!"

Mandy saw Kyle's absolute stricken horror and realized how much he loved her, and what her newfound happiness was going to cost him.

It hit her right between the eyes: Tomas was never going to love her as much as Kyle did. No one was ever going to love her as much as Kyle did. Yet she had planned to throw away that much love. For what? More happiness? How could this be? How could she have simply gone after what she wanted despite Kyle and the commitment she had made? How could it be that her lover and she would be happy, while she left the most loving person of all three of them alone and emotionally destitute.

Mandy really wanted Kyle, but there was no way to reverse the mistake now. She thought, "I would spend the rest of my days taking it back, if only I could. Just to save some scrap of the good, good, man that I have murdered.

Mandy too, had gotten it wrong.

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71 Comments
mfj77mfj776 days ago

HUH!?! Who was murdered? Literally or figuratively? Failed Twist.

Nice attempt at a short story but really a fail.

Ursus1932Ursus19324 months ago

Any one notice the next to last paragraph? The poor sap was involved in a murder, likely did away with himself.

shadrachtshadracht4 months ago

Dumb plot made more dumb by the attempt to compression a story. What you have here isn't efficient enough to accomplish it. And the broad strokes of a plot proposal up something unenjoya ble about a absolutely stupid and horrible FMC. 1*

oksideshow859419oksideshow8594196 months ago

It was kinda hard to follow. I did like the twist. 🙈🙉🙊💨👀

nixroxnixrox6 months ago

3 stars - but I also think it would have been a better choice to have her pay close attention, as Tomas singles out another potential victim and can do nothing but watch him flush her love down the toilet.

Game - set - match.

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