All Comments on 'Getting It Wrong'

Interesting. Would be interesting to have an aftermath story.

Just pathetic

Thank fucking God this was only short, I think its the biggest load of RUBBISH I have EVER read on this site.

Kyle is really and truly better off without Mandy.

Brilliant

This was a pile of blended nonsense.

Knowing that this’s a 750 word story, wish it was a bit longer for more depth. Story was surprising at the ending. Well done. 4 stars. Bob

That was ok. Just an opener.

WOW! Amazing story of Love and heartbreak, Betrayal and forgiveness, More Betrayal and the total Destruction of a marriage. 5 stars great writing, Great Story, Thank You for an exceptional effort! # Buster2U

Lotsa melodrama, suicide? Murder? Or both?

Not a good format for a 750 word story but great for a "normal story".

A moron cum dumpster marries a cuck and nobody is surprised at this fucked up outcome.

Almost, but not quite.

Kyle needs to dig 2 holes.

What did she get wrong? Is he going to kill her? Himself? Needs more. Cut out some (most) of her monoloug and tell us.

what happen? i don't understand a shit

I will never understand the people who frequent this category hoping to read about a woman being punished. It’s almost as pathetic as the authors feeding them.

WTF was this load of crap? If the bitch starts screwing around get as far away from her as you can. Kick the cunt to the curb and move on with your life. Sometimes you have to love yourself more

Kyle can now you find a better woman. He needs to work on himself first and grow a pair before just simping with another.

I'm not sure if this story could be saved by foregoing the 750 word attempt, but I doubt it. I am sure that it fails as a 750 word story.

Powerful story and sadly realistic.

Wow... well done! I lament that this was a 750 word effort, though. I think that this brilliant tale could have been much more rich and painful without the constraint.

Kyle thinks he is "chopped Liver"? he is better off without her

your stories just keep getting worse and worse

Nice twist at the end.

Thank God it was only 750 words.

5*****

Great little story and the twist at the end made it come together

👍

No likeable characters.

Epilogue: Mandy left for Tomas. Kyle tried to pick up the pieces of his life she'd shattered. After about two months Tomas began to realize just how ordinary and plain Mandy was. By the third month he was sharing her with several of his friends. After a year he was completely done with her, kicking her to the curb since she had contracted several STD's. She limped back to Kyle hoping he'd still be a sissy cuck and take her back. A woman answered the door when she rang. Mandy could tell she was beautiful inside and out. Mandy asked to speak with Kyle. "Kyle, there is a prostitute here to see you. She looks like a skeleton of your former wife." Kyle and his new bride had a good laugh as they shut the door in her face.

@sbrooks103x

What did she get wrong? Is he going to kill her? Himself? Needs more. Cut out some (most) of her monologue and tell us. -

Always trying to get writers to do it YOUR way.

@sbrooks103x

What did she get wrong? Is he going to kill her? Himself? Needs more. Cut out some (most) of her monologue and tell us. -

Always trying to get writers to do it YOUR way.

She couldn't apologize? She couldn't try to correct her mistake? Possibly the worst writer ever!!!

Mediocre poker, but you get a lot of that with the 750-word format.

next time use more words and have a beginning with character development...

That was a tough one, but I believe that Kyle will be the ultimate winner in this one. That shallow bitch will never be happy. Now Kyle should call the hitman and take care of Tomas.

Don't let the door hit you on your ass on your way out!

3

Wow. Haunting in its simplicity. Stuck with me since I read it.

For a 750 word project, you nailed it. There was a hell of a lot condensed in those 750 words.

Was there a story there that I missed ?

Bunch of words, please rearrange to make sense.

Nothing lost, the recognition will surface soon. As she said: she’s plain and stupid and after lothario get bored with her she’ll get her recognition too.

All in all we are recognizing, we the reader lost five minutes here too.

Captcha

Would've rated this more if there was more to this story. Took the short cut, & it cut my rating. Not every story can be told in 750 words; probably more can't than can. 2 stars Bob

What was THAT?

Wow, that's a really good scene. Not something I've seen before and powerful, thanks for the writing.

Epilogue: Mandy divorced her idiot husband and moved in with Tomas. It was amazing for about 6 months but then Tomas started sharing her with his friends. She hated it, but couldn't stop it because he was "mesmerizing." Less than a year after she opted for Tomas he was pimping her out making decent money. Eventually she contracted several STD's. Tomas laughed and laughed when he kicked her out and began his planning for the next stupid bitch. They were so fucking easy. She lives alone in a dirty rundown apartment turning tricks for $20.

I did not like the outcome, but it was a well written story. In stories like this I am hoping for revenge on the seducer, the man who went after a married woman, the man who cared only for himself, the man with no morals or respect for others. If physical force is too violent for you, hooking him on heroin or injecting him with full aids contaminated blood will suffice, If your love cannot allow her loss, eliminate the source of your pain.

Interesting premise but the execution (especially the dialogue which came off as "info dump" bursts and not natural dialogue) was clumsy and artificial.

I didn't like it atall.

Of course she chose Tomas, Kyle is a betabux simp.

Of CoUrSe I wOnT lEaVe YoU, yOu'Re mY eVeRyThInG!

ROFLMAO

Treat her like a Queen and she'll treat you like a serf.

Boy this one sucks big time.

Stupid story.

To the author - the ending could have been, and should have been, that it was NOT too late to reverse it. She could have kept Kyle, and based upon his comments, kept her other lover

I blame the romance novels. This crap fills women’s minds, with complete and utter drivel. Marriage is a two way street. If both partners don’t feel “ equal”, it is doomed to fail. Sometimes, women misinterpret desperation for love. If a man can’t do without you, you don’t want him. If he chooses you, but doesn’t desperately need you, that’s the guy. Remember that.

Epilogue: One year later Mandy caught piece of shit Tomas fucking her best friend. She fainted dead away. When she awoke she was holding a revolver in her hand and the two lovers lay dead in the bed in front of her. The police were arriving and she was arrested. Four months later when Mandy was convicted to life in prison without parole a man in the back of the courtroom exploded in laughter. Mandy jerked around to see Kyle laughing his ass off while giving her a wicked revenge smile. He then put his arm around a beautiful young woman and waltzed out of the courtroom. Mandy became a passed around bitch until she offended the wrong prisoner. She was shanked. Kyle read about it in the paper and laughed and laughed again.

Nice little vignette, well-written and effective. I wonder if some of commentators have missed that it is 750 words? Thank you for posting it.

Oh brother, one idiot wants her to keep them both. Really.

Well written

tough to write everything in 750 words. nice try. only the end felt a bit lacking. The "you aren't asking for forgiveness" twist was pretty good.

As for next steps, Mandy has already realized she gave up a greater love for whatever short-term want Thomas is fulfilling. That truth will hang over the illicit relationship for the brief time it will last.

If the affair is brief enough, Kyle may still be willing to take her back, or he may have enough time to realize that Mandy is showing him who she is and for him to believe it.

Mandy is broken and not worthy of his love.

Had to relate to these stories with men (or women) struck with this Disney like ‘love’ for someone to the degree they feel the other person is ‘more important’ and they, themselves ‘don’t matter’

This is unhealthy, except when thinking of your children, the most important person you should be looking after is yourself, your well being.

People may argue it’s ‘ narcissistic’ and taken to extremes it could be but if you don’t look after yourself, your health, your mental and emotional well being you cannot properly be there to love,,support and help others.

Sad for the husband really, that ‘martyr’ syndrome could lead to addiction, suicidal or abuse

I think I understand why she left him. There was nothing for her to grab onto or push against when she needed it. It’s the Giving Tree. What an amazing pathology he has… what a well played guilt card.

"Oh God. Oh no. It can't be, it must not! How could I have made this worse? You are forgiving me - taking me back, telling me we will make it - aren't you?!" This is the kind of overplayed bullshit that runs wild in your stories.

NOBODY talks like that. Excise it from your stories and you will make them 100% better.

Sorry just didn’t do it for me.

Sigh. Fitting in an epilog where she gets dumped 3 months out by the predator would have been a better use of words at the end. There is no way their new relationship works. And the unconditional absolution from Kyle is crazy.

Reminded me of Hillary.

Upside down, ridiculously inane, markedly sophomoric and immature.

Nicely done! If she chooses not to go with Tomas now, where does that leave them? If she chooses to go with Tomas, will she ever feel any real love after what she now realizes she's done?

What would Kyle do if she changed course right then and there? Why couldn't she spend the rest of her life trying to take it back? She got it wrong. She now knows it. He seems able to forgive almost anything. Even i he's damaged, isn't this her chance to correct what she now knows was a terrible mistake?

I love the many thoughts this story brings. I like that she finally learned something really and truly important . . . even if the result of a tragedy. Love isn't always about the lust or other fun things you feel, love is the incredible amount of work involved in a lifetime commitment made. I suppose it's petty, but the attitude at the end does enforce the hope I have that things do NOT work our for her and Tomas.

Don't know why y'all do it. None of them are worth a s---.

3 stars - but I also think it would have been a better choice to have her pay close attention, as Tomas singles out another potential victim and can do nothing but watch him flush her love down the toilet.

Game - set - match.

It was kinda hard to follow. I did like the twist. 🙈🙉🙊💨👀

Dumb plot made more dumb by the attempt to compression a story. What you have here isn't efficient enough to accomplish it. And the broad strokes of a plot proposal up something unenjoya ble about a absolutely stupid and horrible FMC. 1*

Any one notice the next to last paragraph? The poor sap was involved in a murder, likely did away with himself.

HUH!?! Who was murdered? Literally or figuratively? Failed Twist.

Nice attempt at a short story but really a fail.