All Comments on 'Ghosts & Shadows Pt. 06'

After reading through Part 05, I wrote the following to DQS--and now after finishing the story, it seems to me that it still applies.

I yield to no one in my admiration for and enjoyment of your work--but in the case of the current story it seems to me you haven't been playing fair. By this I mean that you drop information later on that really should have been presented earlier--its later revelation twists our understanding, but not in the way that a character in a mystery story discovers something. Rather, you allow your characters to conceal things from one another (in Gail's case) and from us (in Hugh's case) in a way that is unrealistic and manipulative. To put it bluntly, it feels like cheating.

Here's what I'm talking about:

1) re Hugh and his fidelity in his marriage:

In Ch. 1, when he discusses his marriage, he makes it quite clear that he was faithful to his wife:

"I went through one patch, one fever spell, about ten years ago when for some reason I daydreamed about fucking every nubile female that came within a dozen feet of me. I flirted and made halfway serious dates, but I could never make myself go through with them to the ultimate infidelity and one day, the fever just went away!"

This sounds pretty minimal in terms of infidelity, and allows the reader to see Hugh as a totally innocent victim when Mary cheats on him, and then divorces him as hurriedly and coldly as she does.

And then in Ch. 9 it's a very different story! He went out on dates, he finger-fucked women and had (non-intercourse) sexual relationships with three different women (an utter contradiction of what Mary says a few paragraphs earlier, by the way, when she calls him "a straight arrow.")

This may be lesser cheating (by far) than what Mary did, but it's not "straight arrow" behavior. But more to the point: Hugh is the first-person narrator of the story. In his agony, in Chs. 1 and 2, he isn't honest with US, the readers, about his own temptations and near-slips in his marriage. Instead he minimizes it so much (compared to what's revealed in Ch. 9) as to have essentially lied to us.

2) re Gail and her relationship with first husband Robert: in Chapter 2 when she discusses with Hugh how she dumped Robert for Cameron, she says only that he was "a good man." She acts regretful, apologetic, talks about how passion overwhelmed her (and thus she can relate to what Mary did to Hugh, even though it infuriates her).

And then in Chapter 7 after Gail has seen Robert on her cruise, cavorting with another woman in an expensive suite, she's furious! And she tells the story she DIDN'T tell Hugh earlier: about Robert having had an "emotional affair" with Cynara Keyes. And she's full of rage and insists that Robert deserves every bit of pain she put him through (apparently including being beaten up by Cameron and friends).

I see no reason why Gail should have told the story in Chapter 2 in a totally different way, so that Robert sounded like an innocent victim.

The result of these manipulations is that it becomes harder to trust the author. I don't know why you've constructed your story this way, but it weakens it. (I contrast this with the Dream Wife: in that case the husband finds out a great deal he didn't know earlier, but he finds it out when WE find it out: when his ex-wife tells him she never loved him. That's honest, because the first-person narrator wasn't aware of it and concealing it from us--he was unaware of it also.)

This is offered as constructive criticism, from a big admirer.

Cordially, ohio

I thought it was a good story and it felt realistic to me. Here are two human beings with all their foibles, insecurities, and baggage doing their best to inflict severe emotional pain on each other after they were wronged. I guess that is something we do far too often to the people we love. The lack of communication, the juvenile behavior by both spouses felt tangible. Both parties were guilty of multiple indiscretions and they lashed out at one another.

Sorry, but neither one qualified as a saint and both were certainly guilty of selfish self-destructive behavior………….you know, realistic………………and very human.

I liked the story. Thank you for sharing it with us and please continue writing.

Because that's what seems to have happened at least thrice in this last chapter. He gets back with Mary, then sees The Ghost of Richard, then again, then again. I think I stopped trusting DQS after the second 'malfunction'! Maybe I'll parallel that and read three of his stories, but promise never to do it again after each one.

It has been a lot of fun reading all the comments, some by pretty insightful authors on these pages. One thing that nags at me when I read the last few paragraphs is when Hugh mentions the poor guy who's wife left and came back with no memory, a child and an expectant man wanting a divorce. What probably really happened is the guy rescued the pretty woman, figured out she had no memory and when he checked he found a marriage. He probably went ahead and seduced her, got her pregnant and waited until the child was born. Then shazzam, there is a prior marriage in the way. What the lost husband should have done is accused him of that dastardly misdeed just so the wife would look at him in a new light and maybe not see him as such a savior after all. Everyone should share in the pain, not just the husband who is getting divorce papers shoved at him. The lost wife is just skating away in life and accepting no responsibility for what happened. I wouldn't have signed the papers right then, no way, let them stew on it for a while.

Karma dude.

First, everyone should read @FD45's comments about MM & DQS, frankly, it is the funniest comment I've ever read.

That said, Hugh was a split personality, one that DQS supplied then what he actually does.

Level headed business men get were they are by training their minds to control their emotions. They can mentally suck it in and keep going while others are falling apart. They can feel deeply but can control their feelings.

That said, Hugh never does this. A rationale man won't allow his mind to dwell on the 'whys' and 'what ifs' of the past but will construct new avenues for the future. Yes, it takes time, but they usually accomplish it, that's why they're successful in business!

In this story, DQS had the gulf between Hugh and Mary so deep and wide that no sane man of Hugh's character could ever bridge it. His 'love' would first morph into 'hate' and later into indifference.

The writing is excellent, but the premise then execution fatally flawed.

ttom

PS I particularly disliked Hugh telling his son that he had to maintain a relationship with this mother, even after he met her with her lover feeling her up! What a joke.

There is no doubt that he can create extremely riveting scenes that capture the drama, the emotion and the tension of the particular scenario that he is presenting. It draws the reader in. He may do this better than anyone else on this site. I didn't think that I was even going to read this chapter but the dialogue between Hugh and Mary kept me interested. When DQS1 isn't beating around the bush with his characters he can write damn good dialogue between them. He is not in theCelt's class with dialogue between the combatants but few are.

Moving on, DQS1 did plant the seed for another story line or two in his universe. How about we see something down the road about Gail and Robert. I don't mean a back story/documentary like he did with Paul and Paula. I mean we knew that the Titanic was going to sink, right? How about a story line for Gail's and Robert's future with maybe a happy ending for Gail? I mean she still loves the guy for crying out loud.

Also, early on in this story there was a nice quick reference back to the Separate Vacations story using Matt Henry as the divorce attorney. How about an update on Bruce and Tiffany?

Oh and I was kind of hoping that Clint Abbott had been taken out by the evil doers in Africa by now. Has anyone heard?

And my personal favorite, has anyone heard if Lew and Mona have had a baby yet?

MissouriUSA

even though you are some times predictable

where do vows fit in between the pair, TK U MLJ LV NV

Simply incredible. I don't know what got me the most, the incredible characters you drew so vividly, or the sublime way you brought up the emotions and pain of two flawed people who could not let each other go.

Infidelity is a crippling thing in a marriage. The wounds are deep and never truly heal over. The pain subsides and can be lived with, but the pain is there nevertheless. I've walked in this man's shoes, felt that pain. I couldn't go on with that woman, but he had to. He just couldn't stop loving her, despite the pain. I get it, though some never will.

This was a great effort, and I loved it. It thrills me when a writer can draw up a character so well that it seems I know them personally, and every one of your characters were like that for me in this story. I also, as I said, felt the emotion that they were living with. Well done!

0

I guess that I had expectations from reading his previous stories, high expectations. I guess everyone gets a writers block,sooner or later. This was just a prattle. Such is life. 3 stars.

matt moreau no matter what they do forgive them.

I don't understand this part at all. It's as if a different writer came in and changed the story every few paragraphs. I know this could probably happen in real life, but it makes even less sense here. I would have rather had the more obvious ending and had him ending up with some sort of relationship with Gail.

I know you got a lot of heat for this story but everyone seems to project what they would have did in this case and im sure many of us have been there. 37 years with the same person I may have to take them back to.

I think my wife is going to be mad at me. I just spent the whole morning ignoring her while completely engrossed in this story. Loved it! Excellent story. You never disappoint.

I just finished reading the whole series, and I cannot believe how well-written and interesting "Ghosts & Shadows" was. The story deeply touched me and there's nothing else that could have improved the story. I really hope you start another series soon. Keep up the unbelievably great work.

-G

It couldn't get any better than this. What an author.

Thank you DQS.

You spun a good yarn till the last chapter. Then it fell out of character. I fully agree with skipperr, somebody took a left turn and wound up in bum fucked Egypt.

I don't read many multi-part stories because I don't have a lot of spare time, but I'm glad I read this one. Excellent storytelling.

I'm usually not a reconciliation guy. The way you wrote this one, though, and described the struggles each had in putting their love for each other in the rear view mirror, I get the way you ended this one. For me, the most clarifying part was him recognizing he'll never again have what he wants. So true.

Thanks.

DP

I loved this story and, in fact, everything I have read of your submissions. Some of your stories, for instance WWWM, have been read multiple times and I always enjoy them. You are one of the 'best'. Keep the stories coming, please.

he should have seen a counselor and gotten some help. He would have been much happier with Brittany.

Enjoyed this and After the Fact. Great character development, coherent story line, and some hot sex. Your stories read more like a serious author writing 'adult' fiction than pretty much any other that I have read. Love to read a full novel

the ending was not satisfying at all. well written but not satisfying. a downer.

the ending kills entire story dead

I didn't like the story, I would and could never speak against a fellow Gator!

This is close.

There are no winners, no losers.

Just survivors.

I already sent DQS a private comment. For those who read the comments I'd like to add, especially for younger men. A man's pride is his woman, but a concommitant is the need to protect. Hugh had thirty-six years in; he's not going to just suck it up and say fuck the bitch. The woman made him two children. He was there for her when she was loyal; a man can't turn love on and off like it's a spigot, and he can't turn the need to be provider and protector on and off either. By provider I don't mean just money; I mean lots of things that can't be quantified. Hugh wasn't just some candy assed wimp, he was a man. It often isn't easy being a man. It means making tough choices; choices that sometimes can cut deep.

I can never understand why so many commentors feel it is necessary to hate? Is it because they have had a bad relationship and feel no one deserves a second chance or should ever be happy? Is it their personal motivation to see to it everyone hates as much as they do?

From the getgo I felt Mary and Hugh would end up back together. How many references to their 36 years of seemingly "wedded bliss" could the author make?

They worked thru their problems and now appear to be headed to the Golden Years as a happy couple.

WHY HATE THEM SO MUCH?????.

Those are actually the directions I got once in a rural area!

I was then told, I had to go someplace else first! After that I Was given directions from there!

Anyway, this story reminds me of those directions ... because ...

We are shown clearly how these 2 split up, and we are show clearly how much Mary wants back, but, never, never are we shown why (other than the silly assertion that he loves the bitch), Hugh wants her back.

The story never explains how Hugh even begins to like Mary again, other than that she sucks him off, and begs.

I CAN imagine them getting back together IF they had traveled to a place where that was possible.

DQS is such a compelling writer that we enjoy the ride even if the story doesn't actually travel the road to reconciliation.

Too bad -- that would have been a much more interesting story.

Yeah, I enjoyed it. No, I didn't believe it -- not the ending anyway.

I like this authors stories, including this one, but this final page.... Well, did anyone else have the theme tune from 'soap' running through their heads? just wondering. Lol

When rating this story I was hesitant but finally decided to give four stars to the plot, the execution and the superb penmanship - however I give one (lone) star to the message contained in the last few chapters : I hate wimps!

Great story thanks for the read.

Lol!!!love the story,especially the ending...kinda got emotional reading it...good writing

The ending feels like a bowl of spaghetti.

Well written fr the most part and enjoyed reading it.

Just wish the ending was cleaner.

Thx.

You are certainly one of the most talented writers I've read on this site , but this story is essentially depressing throughout, except for a hastily redeeming end.

I understand that this is quite typical in this genre, but I find enough to be depressing in life without seeking it out in literature.

Still the story is well written.

typical wimp story-1*

typical loser story gets -1,if cuckolding is your idea of life/love do drugs you'll die quicker and cleaner, loving gutter trash turn you gutter trash.

Wimps, cuckolded, cheaters and than all is forgiven and the sun rises on a new world. Bull! Maybe writes well (technically) but is in reality a sorry writer.

Her reasons damn near work and you tore him down a few pegs to make him more accepting too -

Two dozen wrongs don't make a right but 2 rights make a left - whatever -

If they die happy screw the rest of the world LOL

I would have killed the bitch back in the beginning of the story.

The hero spends 3 chapters telling us what an upstanding guy he is having been true blue to his wife for 36 years and according to him they were soul mates who were totally honest with each other to the point of being able to read each others thoughts and then she all of a sudden decides to leave him to fuck another man and wants nothing more to do with our hero including breathing the same air as him. Poor guy just cant figure it out since he paints himself as having never fucked around on her for 36 loyal years. But wait. After reading his bullshit for 3chapters, he lets us know that in fact 10 years earlier he was finger fucking girls in his car, getting hand jobs, and leading the girls on to thinking he may leave his wife for them.

But he was still true blue since he wasnt actually fucking them with his puny little dick.

Wonder if he would have considered his wife as cheating if she were giving hand jobs to guys in her car?

She knew about what he did and dumped his sorry ass, and then took him back. This author writes well, but never gives the readers a likeable character who has any honor (except for maybe the kids).

Is there no one in Jacksonville with money AND class that you can write about?

DQS wrote one good story: Moment of Clarity. The rest has been this convoluted mish mash of crap.

For me,the pleasure and purpose of reading fiction is to temporally escape the pressures of a demanding and consuming workaholic life. I love all my life is offering,and your stories simply help out weigh the pressures that come with it! Thank you and please continue.Your family and friends are,and if not,should be PROUD of your amazing ability to help us everyday people cope!

I fully agree with FD45's 4/22 and 4/23 comments.

We all know writing is a difficult enterprise and constructing such a long story takes monumental effort - the writing, basic plot and characters' outlines are excellent.

But, I don't know why DQS gets off on trivializing the male protagonist, the male takes pleasure in getting beaten below the belt from the wife, and towards the end makes excuses to himself on why the wife really loves him.

Story telling is not a math equation where every side is expected to match. There is leeway to human emotions and author's literary license, but with DQS ultimately the otherwise super confident and uber successful male whines and rolls over on his back like a dog so that ex (used to be wife of 30+ years) can stroke his belly. All rabble rousing about her cheating and his disappointment, looks like a time-out taken for some emotional self masturbation, and to re-arrange his disappointment and facts so that he can satisfactorily reconcile.

I seriously can't understand if the same author wrote "Time Wounds All Heels".

I think this author already knows he's quite talented. I enjoyed this story immensely. This story is heavy with extreme emotions and it moves me everytime I read it and I've comeback numerous times. Thank you!!!

I liked this story, I thought it was a good story and I liked the way it was written....... You ALWAYS get the hard asses who want to 'burn the bitch' and I tend to ignore most of their extremist comments, as, for most people, life just isn't like that..... not if they have any emotional depth or sensitivity. However, I have to admit that I have to agree with the comment of Rogn123. Nevertheless, good story, thank you.

A tale told well,about a regular wimpy man(screams white) plot by the author, its common you could see the flaw in the character a mile away, a MM story with as much passion as a wet bag of dog shit on your porch (if it ain't burning, it ain't funny).

Once again all the regular...males? like it(remember when you had balls), please bitches this is a black and white tale of evil, so many of the readers are...umm weak.. what i mean is they say the world is grey..they who walk by the guy or woman or kid begging for food....the woman being beaten by her boyfriend at the bar... those that rush to join the mob beating up on the fag because you cant stop it so join in...the ones that know your friend is cheating or being cheated on and say nothing..that tell the kids dont get involved say nothing keep your head down.

In this depressing pile of rat shit story (the plot)...so many are glad they got back together...why were is the logic the reason...oh yes love....please you fucking readers if this is your version of love dont breed.

This story screams of fear, hers and his,DanielQSteele1 wrote a masterpiece of the man to be, afraid servile,dominated, with as much honor and respect as his wife would allow, no ones mad, no one sorry, no one regrets shit,if i gotta choose which is better this type of story world where no one can say, fuck off your fucking scum, or the touche Needy world of political correctness your fem-males want to make and read about, id rather see it all.........well not. If a cheating whore can destroy a man and then he crawls back to her, and this is the readers idea of romance and love well i cant wait till it all starts to burn down around them, the lost honor, lost respect, lost rights, martial law,home invasion by the government, violence way up by kids, conformity or persecution, the father/husband a national joke mocked openly on TV and in movies,

oh wait........the readers got their wish welcome to 2000+.

Sorry, I'm not a buyer. I am not a masochist. I'd rather just have fun with Brittany and the others. But, this was your sad story.

This guy was obsessed, not in love. If you are lucky, you love a wife that you have lived with for 34 years, but you are not in love with her. These stories always have guys in them that act like 12 year olds with a broken heart. Silly.

I really enjoyed your writing until the ending. I don't think that I'm a BTB type of guy, but how could any man take her back after the way she treated him. I don't understand that. She cheated on him for several months, she left him for another guy, she didn't want anything to do with him, didn't want to talk to him, etc. AND HE TAKES HER BACK!!! The stories that I read on this site either have BTB me or wimp men. He doesn't have to destroy her but just tell her no way are they getting back together-ever.

But it hit too close to home for me, my wife and I are about to roll up 36 years together in a few months. While my wife is nothing like 'Mary' and I'm certainly nothing like 'Hugh', anything can happen in this lifetime.

I'm fairly certain of one thing though. I would never take my wife back if she did this to me. In fact, she would have to exercise a very cautious life to remain in this one. And I would have to stay away from her or I'd be taking away a grandmother and grandfather of our Grandkids.

He got back with Mary because he is stupid! Mary needs a man to finish her life with and her ex is available. The two of them are together because everyone in his life think he needs her and they are aging not so gracefully alone! Peace at last or some equivalent there of! They are both fucked in the heart!

He is real wimp

1*

The author lacks integrity with his stories, no one can say it is a non infidelity when he has done these things, there are many ways to build suspense with out lying to the readers. Once revealed the sins should have been admitted and the quotes like " I had been tempted but never strayed " left out. Tony

Best ever.

The truest thing about closet cucks and internet hard men is that they've never had a real relationship. Getting cucked by a blowup doll doesn't count. The way they haunt this forum proves this is their social life, sad as that my be, so a story like this with real characters comes along it sounds insane to the closet-cuck comic-book club.

Not quite perfect but close. Never mind the BTB gang, if you really love a woman there is only one place you want to be.

Just one error, she would not have turned up to dance in front of him with the blond kid. Their history would have made that so impossible. She might have turned up and asked him to dance, as indeed happened later, but this put her back by months.

Details - details - a great read. I'm sorry it's over.

That huge sucking noise that you hear in the background,is the sound of everyone that reads stories on this site clicking this story closed....and oxygen rushing to fill up the vacuum. I usually like your stuff,DQS..but this story isn't for anyone who was ever born in possession of a penis. Maybe you should market it towards OWN or Lifetime. You know.....estrogen based media outlets.

for the third time. It's about the most painful story I've read on this site--and one of the very best.

You surely have a lot of anonymous readers. The story was well written, but sad. I'm to old fashioned to condone the actions of Hugh in taking Mary back. For that matter, she shouldn't have taken him back after his "mid life crisis". One can dwell on and think of all sorts of scenarios for fiction. That's what makes the tale interesting. Cheers!

Basically he add up his pride versus not having her and decided having was worth more.

I wouldn't but some would and he would have wasted the few remaining years not getting passed her ,so why suffer.

Two wrongs never did a good...But their love could win in the end...

then making up is so much fun when you have the girl and her fear of knowing she knows she hurt someone she didn't realy want to hurt, and that she made the biggest mistake for their loving lives and never wants to be without her true life long love....bill

did that make sense ? ?

Always 5s

Sorry excuse of a tale. Making the man a wimp; a gutless wonder.

I've been giving 4 - 5 stars all the way, down to 1 for this one.

No way was reconciliation appropriate here, not after all she put him through.

It may seem a minor point, but her showing up in Jacksonville and O'Brien's after she had her lawyer tell him she'd prefer that they not be in the same city, was a real cheap shot.

And I mentioned it before, but when she "pulled rank" to deny him "father-of-the-bride" status, I wanted to scream.

I've read worse. We pretty much knew for all 6 parts that he was still madly in love with her. so it didn't come as a surprise that they ended up back together. And some people are complaining because of the fact she cheated just because of a persistent skirt chaser. Which honestly I prefer a hell of a lot more than, 'the bitch has a mental illness because of some family issues. So you should like give her a pass' How does that shit have anything to do with her spreading her legs for another man. Then we have the one where the wife is coerced or blackmailed into fucking her boss, or someone who has leverage on her. Which sometimes has plausible reconciliation, and other times not can't say I believe Mary will never cheat again if she ran into someone else that was really persistent. But the husband chooses to live with that, and it's not like he was a saint, fingering other women, lol. I'm not a btb fan, I do like reconciliation but it's really hard for me to find stories in which I feel it will lead to a good result. Usually the ones I do like the husband ends up catching the wife before she cheats or he monitors the wife and finds out that she never would actually cheat on him because she holds her marriage in high regard. This was definitely one of the more believable DSQ stories

Because they were both cheaters. Even if Hugh didn't screw those women 10 years earlier, he did cheat on Mary first, and with more people. He was never the hapless, totally innocent victim in this.

Before I begin, I just want to say that I don't mean for this to come off as a flame or anything of the like. That being said:

I really don't understand what you were thinking when you were writing this story. It seems like the whole story is just how these people cheated and deeply hurt their spouses and got away with no repercussions whatsoever. Chauvonne cheated on her husband and he took her back. Gail cheated on Robert because she THOUGHT he might cheat, and yet she is painted as the one who should be sympathized with. And of course, Mary is let off the hook for all of the pain and trouble she caused the protagonist. Apparently cheating on her spouse for six months, a ruthless divorce, and a message (As well as several actions showing) that she absolutely didn't want ANYTHING to do with him is just a minor thing.

I really have no sympathy for Gail or Mary, especially Gail. She hurt her spouse for the stupidest reason and yet had the gall to act like she was the injured party, and judging by the story, you seem to think that she was somehow in the right too. And yet, both the protagonist and Chauvonne's husband take back their cheating wives just because they begged a little. Gail's husband apparently still had some lingering feelings for the woman who felt no pity when her boyfriend put him in the hospital. And of course, Mary comes crawling back and suddenly her husband has forgiven her for all of the shit she did to him.

I have to reiterate: I genuinely do not understand what you were thinking with these couples. I don't really know what else to say. The whole thing feels... wrong and a bit forced.

Just my thoughts on the story.

DQS is the best!

To me, the sign on a good story is one that captures you at the beginning and holds on to you until you read that last word; your story did that. I loved the different twists and turns you threw in there. I found myself rooting for them to get it together. With each chapter I kept waiting for the explanation for what happened. I felt your story was well written, had the ending I was hoping for and an ending I enjoyed reading.

Congrats. Another fantastic story. Another five out of five. You hit just the right note of them separating, trying to figure out what happened, the emotional pain, and then slowly, hesitantly coming back together again. These types of stories don't work if the reconciliation and forgiveness happens too fast. Also I really liked the summing up at the end. I always wonder what happens to the secondary characters. And lastly a constructive criticism. In some of the longer blocks of conversation in this story I sometimes lose track of who is saying which lines. I can figure it out by backtracking, but it takes me out of the story a little bit. I suggest just a couple of "Then I said, "...quote." Not too much. More is less. Just in the bigger blocks of dialogue.

Thank you, for a really good read. I know that I am being selfish but please can we have more of the same?

Sorry DQS but you tried to slip one in on us.

Obrien's - Gail was going out with her Boy Toy but Hugh arranged an intervention. He met her in her office as she was planning to leave at 5ish, end of day, and did not tell her where they were going. It was not till they arrived at Obrien's that she knew. But some how she alerted Mary in advance so she could meet them there? And why was Mary there with a date if it was so she could intercept Hugh?

Cheating - In the first part of the story Hugh had one brief almost affair. But in order to put him on more equal grounds as a cheater, each time it was mentioned the number of times grew, it became 2, then 3, and eventually ???

Chicago - she didn't just run away to get away from Hugh, she went to be with Richard. The time she spent with Richard changed at least twice depending on whether it was before or after she moved back to FL. And she told Hugh it was much more serious than an infatuation. But the intensity of the affair was tempered back when the reconciliation was being justified.

and so many more.

The ends did not derive from the story as presented at the beginning. The "facts" kept being modified and nuanced as the story went on. Until at the end all the new feelings and reasons could be used to create another complete scenario. One in which it was OK for Mary to work her way back into Hugh's life and bed. But, even so, it was never as whole as before. They were together, but with hesitations and reservations. NOT good enough.

But I think a little revenge was in order on R Kelly. Its one thing to woo a single woman and something else to seduce (even willingly) a married woman. He, with only marginal resistance, ruined Hugh's life. I would have exacted some punishment. It would have been deserved. As it is, he walked away scott free and suffered nothing.

One of the best stories on Lit.

Some things seemed strange, but so is life. What was up with the G character? Did Elaine work with Mary or at the bank? So Mary knew about Hugh's "near affairs," but we didn't learn about them until well after Mary left. The author did NOT convince me RAAC was the way to go, but, given their ages and their long history, it probably had to end this way.

Yes, the author stretched his plot to justify the reunion. The beautifully written story and especially the dialogue, overcomes that little problem. Anyway, how can you not love a story that uses cemetery plots as a device to announce a reconciliation?

You're still the best DQS1!

Ignore the moronic comments, keep on writing please. Loved WWWM and wish you would add at least a prologue if not more chapters to that.

Mary was a real bitch in this and I wonder how she slept at night (perhaps that was the problem she was too busy fucking her young stud!) considering what she did to her husband but she did comfort him in the end and although destroying the wonderful relationship they had, she at least gave something back. Not to forget that he started the cheating, so he was not perfect.

Reconciliation was a compromise much as human life has to be, so fine with the ending, although he would have been justified in burning her too.

But entirely too many exclamation points. Good lord, felt like the guy had Tourette's.

I don't know how somebody who wrote "Separate Vacations". Can write "trash" like

this. I guess in real life you are very talented, but also a complete "WIMP".

DQS1 you are among the best writers on LW ,i know you publish professionally and on other sites as well but it's still a pleasure re-reading your storys

Lately there is a lot of garbage published here and that's why i go back often to the ancients : you,ohio,laptopwriter,the wanderer,britease and a few others

Please keep on writing for mine and others pleasure

lit·er·a·ture

\ˈli-tə-rə-ˌchu̇r, ˈli-trə-ˌchu̇r, ˈli-tə(r)-ˌchu̇r, -chər, -ˌtyu̇r, -ˌtu̇r\noun

: written works (such as poems, plays, and novels) that are considered to be very good and to have lasting importance.

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Is this story perfect? Perhaps not. Did I find it mostly compelling? For sure.

I seldom read anything rated less than a 4.00 but these past few months the offerings have been slim in this summer of literary drought. So, second time I've read this and I enjoyed even more this time. Yes Hugh was cuckokded but he was out having intimate relationships outside of his marriage as well. This is punch-in-the-gut real life. My wife has ignored my transgressions. I have chosen to overlook hers although she believes I don't know about those few. I don't want to die alone, and after 45 years together I don't want that for her. With our personal faults and failures (Mary and Hugh) we continue on. Looking for perfection in life relationships? There are none without faults.

When I read your stories I am reminded what a professional writer can produce.

I recently finished your WWWM here and was moved to download your trilogy from Amazon. I haven't read the digital version yet, are there any significant differences from the Literotica version?

May I please beg you to finish the story with another volume that brings Bill and Debbie back together? I note that sprinkled in your writing you hint that Bill and Debbie recognize that they still love each other. Debbie did a terrible hurt to Bill and has shown some remorse while still harboring the false belief that he drove her to Doug with his inattention and taking her for granted.

You cannot close the WWWM story until both of them realize that only mutual and complete forgiveness will make them happy.

My amateur effort to write a Literotica story "Forgiveness Denied" was autobiographical and mostly true. I did not forgive my cheating wife of 19 years, and my life turned out for the best. After I wrote and posted that story I had lunch with my ex after 5 years of not speaking to her. At that lunch she matter-of-fact told me that she also had an affair with my CO while we were stationed in Key West. That was the first I knew.

Good prose generic DQS emasculated man story.

To me this is a story about a guy who couldn't seem to figure out he started the break up of his marriage by running around on his wife having Bill Clinton sex and could not understand that it might cause his wife to do the same or more. Hugh was still a cheating husband.

Good story, but half the time I couldn't tell who was speaking. The dialogue needs some serious editing.

compelling story. neither of them was blameless but she was particularly foolish and selfish. nontheless, people make mistakes all the time, even big ones. sometimes they get past it, sometimes not.

Ha. I think i'll check on some milf stories on the mature category after imagining mary.

Good series btw, 5 stars!

I know several people that have lived this story, it brings tears to my eyes knowing I am one. But now I have what I need!

After more years than I care to admit it is really sad that this many damaged people (thru their own or some else's actions) would be circulating within the same group. Can't quite wrap my head around that. Aside from that they unfortunately couldn't fix their own problems let alone those of the others. Then none of them seemed to understand that running around fucking others was not helping them or their friends. A couple of good psychiatrists could have made a killing with just the main characters as clients but not one of them ever seemed to really consider that as an alternative.... The question that begs to be asked is WHY NOT???

This is the second time i've read this and i like it even more this time around,the actions and people are so complex but so very well pictured it's awsome

Thank you author for this great piece of work

no REAL man would ever stay with a woman who told him that some other man turned her on far better than he and satisfied her more than HE ever could! Even tho Hugh had other women, he never told Mary (truthfully) that she was a dud compared to other women so she couldn't possibly have been as hurt as he was. As is always true, when you go back to the one who hurt you, your suffering NEVER ends. I an 72 years old and in all those years I have never met a woman who would have respect for a man who took her back after she shit all over him. Sure, they WANT to control and own you but if you let them, they'll HATE your guts! Don't believe me?........ask another 72-year-old man.

Fag writing

Given the job Hugh did at the bank (the fixer and slasher) it is inconceivable that Hugh wouldn't have gone after Robert and exposed his cheating ass to the world. Robert planned a seduction of a married man's wife and gloated about it in front of her grown son. Hugh would have used his resources to destroy that man (many times over) and he never would have felt guilty about it. Hugh getting back with Mary was the best way to end this story and Hugh had to keep reminding himself that he did "lust" after many women (and screwed around even if he didn't put his cock in them).

There were too many strange problems in this story.

As someone already said, hubby's own indiscretions seemed to come out of nowhere very conveniently a few chapters in. This has happened in a number of LW Lit stories and the air goes right out of it. The husband's infidelity seems like something obviously cobbled into the plot. Did the author finish the story only to find that the reconciliation seemed forced? Was the husband's infidelity thrown in to cheaply balance the scales? At any rate, I didn't buy it.

Then there is the matter of the video and photo material of the wife's adultery. Why even mention it? Why even throw it into the plot if there is no purpose? Is it to show how reasonable the husband is that he never uses it? The wife admits her infidelity in a scathing and brutal soliloquoy. There is simply no need for the video plot teaser. It's exactly like modern Hollywood film trailers where teaser scenes are spliced in and if you eventually see the film, half the time you're waiting for the crucial, titillating scene to pop up and it never does. I don't like the trickery.

Later on the reader learns that the wife - THE WIFE - had actually hired private detectives on the husband all those years ago where there turned out to be infidelities on his part. The wife would seem to have more balls than her husband. She even laughed to herself about his inability to go through with the cheat.

But what is the meaning of a story with such a remarkably lasting marriage - some would say a godly thing - that is terminally injured in such a chintzy, premeditated manner and the predator, this Kelly, does not receive as much as a harsh word from a single soul, least of all the aggrieved husband?? It's absolutely stupifying. Is this some type of philosophical statement from the author?

The marriage itself is the life and well-being of one's family and here there is a blatant attack on the husband's wife and what is the response? Another spineless husband hits the bottle and withers like a picked posey, only lucky to survive because of his old-fashioned friends intervene to get him back on course.

It's obvious that the card-carrying feminists consider the wife and her predator to have equal culpability in the adultery. I say no way to that, but it's quite clear that there would have been very little or no sex at all if it weren't for Kelly constantly working on her and breaking down her natural defenses. It's not that she has no culpability. It's just that no sensible man would even ask himself the question until he took care of business first. Her "culpability" is that she is a woman and is unable to resist the incantations of a slick predator and their effect on her sex.

And a wife that travels three or four "weekends" a month? The author sure loves his women independent.

But right off the bat in this story the husband is unlikable. Yes, he confronts his wife. Yes, he works to get at the root of the problem. He takes decisive action. Actually, I would call it non-action: you don't get credit for storming off like a puppy with your tail between your legs and drinking yourself half to death from the toilet bowl. Frankly, I despise that type of character and they are legion here on Lit. Please stop. Yesterday.

The husband spends an inordinate amount of time in his hangdog haze with not a small amount of wimpers and damp cheeks. And absolutely everyone enables his withering psychological tendencies. It all goes on too much and too long.

It wasn't as bad as Back To Bullshit/Bristol, but these men are so weak in the middle it boggles the mind. Had he broke in on his cheating wife and beat the fuck out of the slimeball Kelly, it would have been an acid test for the cheatin' wife as well. If she later defends the predator then you know all you need to know about her. Word. And he was actually some stud boxer, an instructor and brawler himself! So, the author builds the husband up as a badass and during the slick predation of his own wife and total usurpation of his marriage he does shitall about it? He could have flattened Kelly and sent photos to his wife. Then picture for yourself Kelly's wife standing tall and truculent with a shock of cheater-bitch's hair in her hand. Fuck yeah!!

In any case you have to say that when the shit hit the fan it didn't take the cheating wife long to realize that the plans with her slimey lover were a stupid pipe dream. The point is, that had her nutless husband shown some balls - some Shock And Awe - she would have snapped out of her sex-induced haze in short order. There might or might not have been a divorce, but all conditions would have been quite different.

Another transparent plot device is found in the daughter's traffic accident. Why can't these split up spouses get back together of their own accord and for good reasons instead of contrived happenstance? Digression: Did you ever notice how many Lit characters had their parents die in a car accident when they were young? Do Lit-infected computer screens flicker at 61Hz instead of 60Hz?

It is galling that he actually protects his cheating wife early on by refusing to simply tell his son that she was fucking some guy for the last six months. What rule is violated by telling the truth of her infidelity? He hurts himself and hurts his standing in the family by not coming out with it. It was extremely irritating to put up with that seemingly small plot detail.

Frankly, this husband is like some half-assed Don Quixote.

The percentage of Lit-ers that have 30+ year marriages is damn low (32 for me), so people who scream BTB aren't to be taken very seriously. Just the same, why does this author need to have the husband so brutally smashed under foot while wifey bounces from orgasm to endless orgasm, literally off the damn bed...and then brag about it? Why must the cheating wife smash the fuck out the marriage faster than a star-trek particle beam? The way she assiduously disappears, the way he shrinks like a porked weenie, the way he waffles around sniveling, and on and on and on.

Did any of you get all dewy-eyed when cuntwife was laying her head cooing all over his chest in the reconciliation sex scenes? Not me. It seemed forced and manipulative.

This story is a lot of pretty words that just don't add up.

Why leave such a lengthy, well thought out, articulate comment as the previous one, only to make it anonymous? Odd.

Another great story from DQS, this is the second time through for me and still a pleasure.

I agree with Anonymous (07/08/16) on some of his points, but certainly not all. The husband's indiscretions did seem to come out of left field and were treated in a somewhat cavalier manner by both husband and wife. I've been married for 34 years and I guarantee you my wife would NOT be so indifferent to those revelations if about me and if I'd found she was indulging in those types of guilty pleasures, I would have come unglued the first time it happened. It does seem extremely odd, even to the point of being unrealistic, that the wife bothered to engage private detectives to follow the husband, but never reacted to the discovery that he was messing around with multiple women, simply dismissing it as a "mid-life crisis" thing. Sorry, but I sincerely doubt that she would drop tens of thousands of dollars having the husband followed only to read the reports and proclaim, "Whew! He never actually penetrated her vagina with his penis - so no problem here!" Apparently she never even bothered to mention it to him and that was never made clear. Why, later on in the story, would she be so infuriated and jealous seeing her ex-husband dance with another woman, but do nothing earlier on? Perhaps DQS should have spent a bit more time on the husbands lack of fidelity and why the wife responded the way she did. Was she already planning on getting even some day? The husband asks her that later on in the story and she denies it, but something had to be going on there.

DQS threw in some information about video and photo evidence being available if the husband wanted or needed to use it - which he never did. Personally, it didn't bother me to see it unused and still part of the story. The wife admitted she was having an affair and exactly how deep she was into it BEFORE the video/photo/audio was collected, so using it was a consideration, but not required. Sometimes we don't use all the tools available to us, whether a project at work or home, or supplies taken for a vacation. As we've heard many times about many things: It's better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. If I may, I think Anon was incensed that it was available, but NOT used to humiliate and shame the cheating wife. However, I don't really see any purpose in using it against his wife, she wasn't hiding anything at that point, not even from her children. Her lover had already left his wife so I'm not sure how effective it would have been there. Might have come in handy later on when the lover moved back in with his wife.

I heartily agree that lover boy Kelly needed some grief, especially after his behavior when the son visited his mother for the first time after the separation. Kelly knew she was married when he started seducing her - that makes him at least as guilty as the wife. I don't see a big difference between someone breaking into my house at night where my family is sleeping and someone seducing my wife. In both cases, the family is in danger and it's my job to defend them. My family is precious and I will not sit idly by and just hope for the best - I figure most husbands/dads are of the same mind. Lover boy Kelly should have paid a great price, the cheating wife should have been horrified with the result knowing this happened because of her, and the husband should have slept like a baby, guilt-free and unrepentant.

All in all, I think we can find "issues" with every story submitted. We would each respond differently to the same stimuli, the same way our "perfect" idea of a husband/wife differs. For example, I've never understood why DQS practically worships ginormous breasts on the women in his stories. I'm not that picky, in fact, I probably prefer smaller over bigger. Different strokes and all that. We must allow the author to write his/her story the way they want, to develop the characters and plot lines the way they want. There are all kinds of people in the world and I'm sure we could, under the circumstances laid out in this story, we could find people who would respond the way these folks did. It's not how I would have responded, but I can still enjoy the story and admire the author's ability to write.

Thanks for the story DQS! Wish you were still writing for this site.

P.S. Y'know Daniel, those incredi-boobies start collecting stretch marks early in life and only get worse. Gravity always wins, just sayin'. :^)

One of the best on this site.

stories like this makes me cheer for terrorists. maybe they will kill every character in this forsaken story.