Girdled Ch. 16

Bryan's words echoed in my ears, "Is this what you really want Sara?"

When I returned to the photo shoot, it had ended and Daddy was packing up his gear. Daddy was talking to Jane and Jasmine was nowhere to be seen.

Daddy looked at me and asked, "Where's Bryan, sweetie?"

Bryan's words stayed with me, I couldn't shake his question. I looked back at Daddy as I went to leave, and shrugged my shoulders with tears running down my cheeks... I heard him calling out to me as I climbed the stairs to our apartment. His simple question created more questions for me. Bryan's asked me what I really wanted. Was he asking if my sexual advances were something I simply wanted to do in the moment without regard for his feelings? I had to ask myself, was I just horny and looking for some fun, or did I want more? Did he want more? I was so confused. It had been so long since I was with someone who I cared about, who cared about me past the exact spontaneous moment of arousal. Or was he asking me something deeper, did he see in me the things I've been struggling with?

Opening the apartment door and walking in, I was immediately in a place of safety. I entered the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and wet with tears. I asked myself, did I appear to be a boy, or a girl. I knew in my heart who I was at birth. But, I also acknowledged I never felt comfortable as a boy. I participated in boys sports, as a boy, and did well competing equally with the other boys. In the locker room, I felt like I was standing in a place I didn't belong.

I was a mess. I quickly washed my face and turned around to find Jane standing in the doorway.

"Oooooooh, sweetie, are you okay? Jane asked.

I nodded. and looked down at the floor as Jane hugged me.

"Wanna talk?" She asked.

I followed her to the sofa and sat as she seated herself beside me.

"I heard you talking to yourself, many of us have or have had the same questions. I can help. It would be a mistake to think I didn't ask myself the same things when I was your age." Jane said.

"Really?"

Jane nodded, as she touched my cheek and wiped away a tear.

"Jane, I'm so confused."

"I know. All the things you're struggling with are very normal. I would guess you're questioning everything.

"Bryan asked me what I wanted, or if this is what I wanted. I didn't really know what he was asking me."

"He told me," Jane added.

"He did?"

Jane nodded again. "Sara, Bryan's my son."

I was shocked,"He is?"

"Yes, it's a long story, but that's for a later conversation. He's been through a lot and he too has his own issues he's dealing with. We all do Sara. But why don't we focus on you right now."

I agreed. My thoughts went back to Bryan as I felt more sympathetic about him.

"What has been the most difficult thing for you since you came out about your gender identity?" Jane asked.

"There was a man on the street that looked at me and asked, was I just pretending to be a girl, and he said it loud. People were looking and laughing. Then I saw Jasmine today, and you, and Carly and no one would mistake you for a boy" I said.

Jane looked at me and hugged me again.

"What they don't understand is. I've been actually pretending for a long time," I added.

"Exactly!" Jane said with a smile.

I knew Jane understood and she made me feel like the girl I wanted to be. Jane reached out and caressed my flat chest.

"You can have breasts Sara, we can look into getting you into hormone replacement therapy," Jane said as she playfully pinched my nipple.

"Mmmmmm..." I moaned.

I felt my clit pulse. My nipples have always been sensitive.

"I think I want breasts," I said. "I also wanna look softer, more feminine, and have wider hips."

Jane pinched my nipple again. It felt wonderful to be touched. After feeling rejected by Bryan, I needed physical contact. Her hands fell to my waist and hips.

"Ooooooh, my yes, you would look lovely with wider hips, and with that lovely clit hanging between your smooth thighs, you would be irresistible to the right man."

Jane squeezed my hips and then laid her hands on my knees. She looked me in the eye as she ran her hands up my thighs, raising my dress as her hands went higher. My hard clit was standing straight up as my dress passed over it.

"Oooooh Sara, you're so hard...again...you're insatiable," Jane moaned as she leaned forward and took me in her mouth.

Jane dropped to her knees as she took my clit completely into her hungry mouth. Her head bobbed up and down as she deep-throated my clit. After teasing Bryan and feeling rejected, I was in heaven. I needed a talented mouth sucking my clit.

Jane looked up from my clit and said, "I need some of this too."

Standing, Jane pulled me up to my feet and lead me to the bedroom. I watched as she lay down. Her clit was equally hard as her head was at the foot of the bed and padded her foot on the pillow directing me into a 69 position. I was gonna be treated to her sucking me as I tasted and sucked her delicious clit. Jane had a lovely scent. I nuzzled my face between her thigh and lower belly, resting her clit against my cheek before I took her completely in my mouth.

The room was silent except for the slurping of our sucking. Jane reached around and slipped a finger in my pussy as she continued sucking. I felt my orgasm begin to build as Jane's clit swelled in my mouth. Jane began shooting her cum down my throat as my clit began cuming too. We both grabbed each other's bottom, taking each other's clits as deep as we could.

I was exhausted but managed to crawl to Jane and kiss her deeply, sharing our cum.

Jane suggested we shower and have something to eat. I was hoping we could talk. I needed to know more about Bryan.

We finished showering, which was just a shower. No eventful play as we were both exhausted from the day, and what we just did. Jane headed to the kitchen and threw together a quick pasta dinner from leftovers she found in the refrigerator, while I looked for something to wear.

I put on my white baby doll nightie buried in my bag of clothes and joined Jane in the kitchen. I stopped to take in the view of Jane who standing at the stove naked. Her slim figure and cute ass were so sexy.

Jane turned and said, " Oooooh, I didn't know we were we dressing for dinner."

Her clit was flaccid in front of her hanging balls, she looked so sexy. I sat as Jane served up a light dinner.

Jane asked, "Sara, so what did you wanna talk about?"

"Well, can you tell me about Byran?" I asked.

Jane sat for a moment before she began.

"Bryan had a hard time dealing with the person who he knew as his father, kind of becoming his second mom. I left home to live with my mother until I got a place of my own and set up my business, it was a difficult time. He was upset and embarrassed."

I saw the sadness in her eyes. "So it was hard for you?" I asked.

Jane nodded. "Yes it was. I had to wait until he came to terms with my choices and what he considered his losses until he realized he hadn't lost anything...things just changed."

I wondered about my mom and what she was thinking about me. I feared she was worried and upset, about my choices.

"What do you mean his losses? I asked.

"He felt he lost his father. He felt like his whole world was tipped upside down. It took him a while, but in the end, he saw I was just a feminine version of what he had known, I still loved him, Jane said with a smile."

"Why did he ask me what I wanted?" I pressed on.

"I'm not sure, you may have to ask him....maybe he's hesitant to get involved with another Trans-girl" Jane replied.

"Ooooooh....has he been with another Trans-girl?" I asked, feeling a little envious if he had.

Jane hesitated, looking at me, "Yes, he was with another girl who worked for me before Carly. he didn't know she was a Trans-girl until she got naked and it was right after he came back in my life...and blah, blah, blah...he was surprised and upset and still confused and needed something consistent in his life. And then his closest cousin became Carly. His life was full of changes, all moving way too fast....but enough about me and Bryan, let's talk about you and what you really want."

"Jane, I don't know, I'm pretty confused at times."

"Why do you dress in feminine clothes? Jane asked.

"In the beginning, I got excited and horny from doing it. I would be alone and I put on my mother's lingerie and masturbate. Then after she caught me, and bought me feminine things, that's all I wanted to wear. After that it didn't always make me horny to wear them, in fact, it rarely did. It really only did when mommy liked me dressed, or my uncle, or Rene."

Jane nodded and said, "And?... I sense an and or a but coming."

"Yeah, there is, I guess. I have never felt comfortable as a boy. I was always drawn to things my mom did, or what girls at school wore. I played the role of a boy, although I never liked boy things or being one of the boys. I guess I never really wanted to be a boy." I said, feeling uncomfortable saying this for the first time to someone.

Jane looked at me, reaching over to caress my cheek, "A transgender person is not defined by looks or anatomy, but by who they see themself as. Who do you see yourself as?"

"Really?" I asked.

"And what was the but?" Jane asked.

"But I like my cock, I call it a clit, but it's a cock...I don't hate it...it gives me pleasure. But.....so does fucking...I mean me getting fucked. I remember the first time a man fucked me....so different from me fucking myself with my mom's dildo." I said, feeling pulsing in my cock.

"What happened the first time you got fucked by a man, what was different?" Jane asked.

"I probably didn't fuck myself right, but the guy that fucked had picked me up hitch hiking and he fucked me like I was a girl...and I loved that," I said as my clit began swelling with the memory of Ray fucking me.

Jane inquired, "Tell me more about that. Weren't you afraid? What made you get in the car with him?"

"I was pissed at Mommy and Rene, I was feeling rebellious, and slutty." I said.

"Did you get in his car thinking about sex?" Jane asked.

"No, I needed a ride. But after I a few minutes it was clear he was interested in sex. Then he touched my nipple and it became about seducing him as much as he was seducing me. I love that feeling." I said as I reached down to fondle my clit.

Jane pushed her chair back and parted her thighs. Her clit was hard and standing up straight as she began stroking it.

"Sara, tell me more...you make me crazy...keep talking...I wanna know details."

I went on, "Ray pulled in a forest preserve and we got out. He knew of a shelter near the parking lot. I had given him my panties in the car, so when we got to the shelter he asked to see what I had under my dress...I raised my dress and showed him my ass, and then I turned and showed him my clit...he got down and sucked me until I came"

Jane moaned as she stroked her clit. The head was wet and she ran her finger in the wetness and brought it to her lips and licked. My clit was hard too. We both watched each other as we stroked our clits.

"And then?" Jane asked.

"And then he said we should leave, the park ranger might catch us as it was getting dark. But I wanted him to fuck me," I said as I made a soft whimper.

Jane moved closer and cupped my balls, pulling on them. My cock pulsed and oozed more pre- cum. I needed to cum again.

"Tell me the rest," Jane demanded, as she held my clit firmly, not stroking it at all.

"When he started fucking me, his cock was fat and it stretched me. I had never had anything in me that big. For a minute it took my breath away. But then he found a rhythm that was comfortable for me. He was fucking me with passion, calling me a cock slut. or whore or something. His words were making me crazy. I think he slapped my ass. He kept thrusting into me, I could feel his balls slapping against my ass. It felt so good. I had never been fucked like that before. My uncle had fucked me, but not like this.

Jane moaned and took the tip of my clit in her mouth, tasting my pre-cum, and leaned in and kissed me. I was getting lost in the aura of the moment.

Jane demanded again, "Tell me the rest!"

"The feeling began to build inside me, getting bigger and bigger. I had that feeling like I was gonna pee... It didn't matter. I had never felt like that before. The tingling feeling was now pulsing through me. It came and went in waves where I sensed it in my feet, my head, and my arms. It continually became more intense inside me and it was moving to the tip of my clitty. Finally, one last thrust, and I felt his hot cum fill me. I threw my head back, my mouth was open and all of my pelvic muscles were contracting. I was also squirting! It lasted for about 20 seconds Contraction after contraction, causing squirt after squirt. It seemed like pee, but it was slippery. There was so much! Ray laid his head and chest on my back and reached down to hold my wet clit," I told her as I leaned back.

"Wow, girl...that must have been amazing!" Jane said with a huge smile.

I told Jane, "You know, there was a moment in the car with Ray, before we did anything, I asked myself, is this my purpose, is my purpose to pleasure a man? To offer him a hole to fuck? I was just a vessel for his cum? For the very first time, I felt my remaining masculinity melt away, as he worked his cock into me until I was backing into his every thrust, and begging him to fuck me, making me his bitch."

Jane stood up and pointed her clit at me. It was right at my lips and I could smell her arousal. I licked the tip. She tasted so good, I really needed to suck her. I was compelled to take her in my mouth, It was my duty to take her clit and drain her of her girlie cum

Jane whispered, "Are you?"

I thought about Jane's words as I took her clit in my mouth. I closed my eyes and opened my throat and took her as deep as I could.

I thought to myself..."I really am quite an excellent cock sucker."

Jane held my head as she slowly fucked my mouth. "Sara, you love sucking, don't you?... You're a natural."

Jane's clit slid back and forth in my mouth as drool and her precum dripped from it. I loved sucking cock or clits and I felt I was in the right place on my knees. I felt the head swell and her thrusting become more urgent, and then she washed my mouth and the back of my throat with cum.

"Don't swallow that Sara, show me your tongue," Jane said.

I looked up at her, still on my knees and opened my mouth to show her the gift she had given me.

"You're such a good girl, such a lovely cum slut, aren't you," Jane said as a statement, not a question.

Sometime later, I found myself cuddled next to Jane in Daddy's bed. I thought to myself, "Where was Daddy?"